Thursday, December 22, 2005

My last work day before xmas.................

i really dont feel like doing anything today. hell, i didnt feel like typing this post. i'm lazy like that. i think i will start drinking after its completion.

in my efforts to not do anything that requires even the least amount of energy....heres todays post. if you are not familiar with you should be. its a great site from which i sometimes (read always) steal some material for this blog from. . he finds bizarre stories from around the globe and reports them. what makes it for me is his little comments regarding each story. if you are a complete smartass (such as myself) you will appreciate these gems.....

Senate blocks arctic drilling in Alaska several years after Hillary Clinton blocked it in the Lincoln Bedroom

Japanese whalers, Greenpeace, currently locked in standoff in remote Southern Ocean. Fortunately one of them thought to bring harpoons

Hundreds of human footprints dating back to the Ice Age found in the Outback, all of whom called ahead for seating

Double-mouthed trout pulled from lake. Four-assed monkey, three-eyed fish still on the loose

Bizarre five-pound chunk of ice falls from the sky in Japan. Bespectacled onlookers take lots of pictures. (maybe my personal favorite)

Study on liberal bias in the media accused of bias. Groups accusing bias study of bias accused of bias

Iran expecting first cloned sheep; international watchdogs look forward to herding it

Judge rules ACLU is "tiresome" and "does not represent a reasonable person" in Kentucky Ten Commandments case

Dick Cheney, a man clearly in touch with the people and not blinded by power and greed, insists that Americans don't mind being spied on by their own government

these are just a small sampling of the gems you can find there. i am off from work until the new year so i may or may not be posting. in case i dont post anymore this year let me wish everyone (including the douche know who you are) a very happy holiday season and a wild new year. everyone be careful. i cant afford to lose any of the six people that visit this pathetic site.

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Limbaugh must have been the grinches last name....

rush limbaugh has officially went over the edge. anyone who listens to this asshole and thinks it makes sense is as crazy as he is. on his show limbaugh tied john kerry and the democratic party to the "war" on xmas. first, isnt calling this a war on xmas an insult to our soldiers fighting a real (if misguided) war in iraq. it even pales to the mythical war on drugs. apparently nobody should talk about our government or the war during december because its xmas time. limbaugh said "john kerry is a member of the political party thats trying to get xmas, you know, out of the public consciousness. theres a movement against public displays of xmas. xmas trees gotta go. nativity scenes gotta go. its a bunch of liberals, and most of them are democrats. thery're the ones trying to stamp xmas out. a bunch of secularists and atheists and so forth. what bugs them about it? i'll give you one word: g-o-d". limbaugh is as crazy as they get. i cant believe he didnt blame clinton. hes a shill for the republican party. the funniest part of all of this is that the christians that are up in arms about xmas dont even know where it comes from. xmas was a pagan ritual that was supposed to happen arond the shortest day of the year. they believed that the worst of winter was over and the days would now start getting longer....etc. the christians, after having no luck getting them to stop their pagan rituals, co-opted the holiday and threw christ into it. the xmas tree was used in these rites because it was seen as the hardiest of plants.....get it.....evergreen. it didnt die in the harsh winters and so it was used in the pagan celebration. so as you bemoan the lack of christ in xmas remember your celebrating a pagan holiday.

sorry i didnt post yesterday but my computer had a meltdown. i believe that the republican party in general and george bush in particular had alot to do with that.

Monday, December 19, 2005

Christmas fears.............

ok, so we all dont live in totally disfunctional families.....but most do. a friend of mine catches the brunt of a fair amount of my jokes, so here goes another. we can just refer to this as al's homemade eggnog recipe

1. open bourbon
2. drink bourbon while assembling ingredients
3. realize that you are out of bourbon
4. run to the state store
5. buy two gallons of bourbon and one pint (thats for the ride home)
6. while drinking bourbon try to find punch bowl
7. failing to find punch bowl get the biggest mixing bowl he can find, have some more bourbon
8. after mixing nutmeg, vanilla, sugar and milk proceed to crack eggs open and pour egg white and yolk into the disposal and then mix shells into other ingredients
9. argue with wife
10. pass out
11. wife throws out everything he's done and makes egg nog

i think if you just follow these 11 eaasy steps you'll see that eggnog is a very easy drink to make.

i started my shopping on saturday but my wife and i have alot to do this week and no time to do it. i might be that asshole whos out on xmas eve. do you think a ten year old will get a thrill out of a gift certificate.

we are havin fun now kids......

Friday, December 16, 2005

Another shitty xmas gift.........

star registry.this is the scam where you pay and then they register a star in the name you choose.....and it aint cheap. the gift that says "jesus, i just remembered that i hadnt got you anything" or "i bet she'll think i'm sensitive....and give it up". what a crap gift. do you think any astronomer will ever say "hey i'm looking at jennifer480 right now". hell no. lets be honest if you have to buy a gift to get some, then a hooker would have been cheaper. its for the guy who wouldnt even pony up for tickets to the nutcracker so he can get laid. what a crappy gift. again i will say just give me the money. if i chose to throw it away then thats my choice. this gift makes the harry and david horribly overpriced fruit basket seem good.

has anyone actually finished their shopping yet or are you like me and havent even started. i've been so busy that i havent had a chance to get out yet. hopefully after tonight i will have all the free time i need.

ok, its friday. the office parties should be kicking in real good about now. lets all get drunk and have sex with a co-worker.

Thursday, December 15, 2005

The deaf can have sex?..........

hot off the press from the hearing loss news and reviews is the story of katherine chavez . shes a deaf student at roger revelle college. residential security officers were called to her dorm room when odd noises were heard coming from it. seems she was in the throes of sexual extasty and the sounds coming from the two of them were described by witnesses as cacophonous. the first officer to the scene was frank zipelli. he reported that he "could hear those two all the way from the parking lot. it sounded like they were bludgeoning a cow. there would be a low moan, like a moo, and then a bang and then a higher pitched moo. it was like MOO...BANG...MOOO. all her suite-mates were gatheres around her door, afraid to go in". way to describe it frank. i'm sure this young lady is now on suicide watch. is it any wonder they dont lets beat cops talk. her friends were only slightly kinder. said jamie valencia "we banged on the door for 15 minutes straight. the sound wouldnt stop. they kept getting louder until the floor was shaking. i had a midterm in the morning, i haad to sleep". added julie klein "we thought she had broken a leg or something. the moans and thumping sounded like she kept hitting the wall, but her boyfriend was there too. i thought he might be beating her, but i was afraid to intervene. now i'm torn. am i to be proud that i never did that to a woman or should i be ashamed that i have never made a woman moo like a cow?

it was also on the news that a man waiting 500 lbs was arrested for ripping off fast food establishments. he would order food and then go back and say that there was a hair in (or something wrong ) with his food..and get his money back. after giving this item some thought all i could think of was many times did he do that? for the love of god, he was 500 lbs. maybe he should have been ripping fitness equipment stores or gyms. what a great disguise too. there was a man who pleaded guilty of molesting an underage girl because she could describe his third testicle. third testicle? heres a bit of advice to burgeoning criminals out there. dont commit a crime if you have red hair, weigh 500 lbs or have a third testicle. they are going to remember you. trust me on that one.

one week to xmas eve kids. get shopping the economy needs you.

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Hate & intolerance from the pulpit......

jimmy swaggart has got to be the biggest asshole on the earth. no, i take that back, anyone who gives that idiot money is the biggest asshole. if you go to you can see and hear him talking about gays. ok, no big deal, he talks about gays alot....and not in a flattering way. in the clip jimmy is preaching and says that politcians who want two men to get married are horrible. jimmy says that he has never seen a man he wanted to marry. he then goes on to say that if want of them ever looked at him like that "i'd kill him and tell god he died". now i know that the hayseeds that watch that garbage think that is just good logic but cmon jimmy even you cant hide from this. first he would commit a mortal sin by killing and then would lie to god. lie to god! what kind of god is this? wouldnt he see right through that? jimmy swaggart and his kind are a plague on this planet. they appeal only to the scared and stupid among us. he has no answers. all he can tell you is what to be afraid of and whos to blame for it. a world without organized religion would be a much better place.

speaking of making a better place, your friend and mine , rick santorum, is spouting off. hes pitching himself as a moderate instead of the shill he is for the religious right (or anyone who makes a campaign contribution.....accu-weather, i'm looking at you). his numbers are starting to come back a little in pennsylvania but he is still way behind the man running against him (bob casey). this jeerkoff wants to privatize social security, badmouthed working mothers....etc. vote this jackass out. lets get someone in there whos agenda is serving his constituents..... not himself.

fa la la la la la la la la...........

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

Those crazy iranians..........

you have to love mahmoud ahmadinejad. dont know him? why hes the delusional president of iran. he is what a trained psychiatrist would refer to as "bat shit crazy". in the spirit of everyone geting along he mentioned that it would be nice if israel was "wiped off the map". ok so hes not lighting the candles on your menorah but theres alot of crazy bastards in the mid east that feel that way. well, our friend has opened his mouth again. Ahmadinejad was quoted by IRNA as saying: "Some European countries insist on saying that Hitler killed millions of innocent Jews in furnaces and they insist on it to the extent that if anyone proves something contrary to that they condemn that person and throw them in jail."
"Although we don't accept this claim, if we suppose it is true, our question for the Europeans is: is the killing of innocent Jewish people by Hitler the reason for their support to the occupiers of Jerusalem?" he said. "If the Europeans are honest they should give some of their provinces in Europe -- like in Germany, Austria or other countries -- to the Zionists and the Zionists can establish their state in Europe. You offer part of Europe and we will support it." ok so you see where this guy is going. is there anyone left who actually thinks the u.s. is bringing peace to that region. Deputy U.S. State Department spokesman Adam Ereli called the remarks "appalling and reprehensible."
"They certainly don't inspire hope among any of us in the international community that the government in Iran is prepared to engage as a responsible member of the community," he said. no shit sherlock? thats a country that needs a spanking. you want a nuclear program...lets show them ours. up close and personal.

along a different line of thinking richard pryor died over the weekend. i remember the first time i had ever heard of him. i was probably around 12 and my brother had snuck one of his albums (yes albums) into our house. it was called "that niggers crazy". well being the sneaky little bastard that i was i put it on the turntable and cranked it up. i was giving no regard to the fact that it was sunday morning and we were all getting ready for church. i'm not sure if my father heard the first fuck or the 100th said in the first minute but he flipped out on me and then my brother in a way that i had never seen before. i remember seeing him on saturday night live. it was the first time they used a delay. he was like nothing i had ever heard before. some people refer to him as profane but to me he was just brutally honest. what did you expect from someone who was raised ina whorehouse? i am going to miss him.

i hope you have all picked out nice gifts for me.

Monday, December 12, 2005

Happy holidays?..........

i ant seem to figure why the holidays are so much more streesful than any other days. everybody seems to be on edge these days. i cant figure it out. sure you have to buy some gifts and probably go to a relatives house that you cant stand butwhy do we get so edgy this time of year. i think i'll chose to blame snow for the anxiety. i hate snow. dont get me wrong when i was little snow was great but i'm not little anymore....and snow sucks. six inches were dumped on the burg on friday. ok i lived with that. shoveled out my parking spaces and sidewalks and then on to other business. yesterday, though, was another thing. i get up, put the news on and await the weather. the liar (weatherman) says just some flurries, maybe an inch. three inches later i'm shoveling again. my street was like a skating rink. a winter wonderland so to speak. now i know everyone says move south but i'm not fond od their weather either. i dont like africa hot in the summer and normally, in the burg, the wind doesnt blow the roofs off of our homes. oh well, i'll get over it. there are worse things in life.

get to work kids. i have some stuff to do.

p.s. how about my steelers. kicked some chicago ass

Friday, December 09, 2005

Loose notes............

this is my 200th post. another milestone passed. what a fitting tribute to my creative longevity and the fact that i dont give a rats ass who reads this blog.

dubya is catching some shit from the religious right because his xmas cards didnt mention christ. they said happy holidays. dubya should go see king kong. theres a lesson there for him. when you cater to a wild beast (the religious right) they remain wild and no matter what you do for them they will come back and bite you. it never seems to be enough for them. you've given the religious right everything they've catered to them, put justices they like on the supreme court...etc and they still come back and badmouth you. there is no give for those people. no live and let live. its their way or the highway. i couldnt be happier that the republicans are getting some crap for this.......they earned it.

i find it hard to believe that its the twenty fifth anniversary of the murder of john lennon. its a shame that a man that campaigned for peace died in such a tragic way. mark chapman should not still be sitting in prison when a perfectly good electric chair is available somewhere. cant find someone to throw the switch? call me. i have some free time.

heres another good rule for life. if an air marshall tells you to stop and lay it. the guy in florida deserved to get shot. i know, a bunch of people will be up in arms and second guess the decision to shoot. i wont be one of them. when you announce you have a bomb and then reach into your backpack....oh well. if you are bothered by the shooting then just imagine that you were standing near him when he reached into the backpack and you didnt know he had a bomb. or imagine your children or grandchildren standing there. see? confusion all gone. now the decision doesnt seem like such a bad thing afterall. i'm glad there were air marshalls there. finally something to do with airport security seemed to work. we thinned the herd...and thats not such a bad thing.

mother nature dropped 6 big ones on the burg last night so i must go shovel.

Thursday, December 08, 2005

Lionel is back (not the train)............

you may remember lionel tate......then again you may not. tate was convicted of killing someone when he was 13. the youngest person to be convicted for life. he was 12 when he murdered tiffany eunick who was 6. his lawyers argued that he was just doing some wrestling moves he saw on tv but experts said she died of a fractured skull and a lacreated liver suffered in a beating that went on from 1 to 5 minutes. on appeal his conviction was overturned after they found he didnt know what he was pleading to. he was then sentenced to time served and 10 years of probation. well lionel held up a pizza delivery man with a gun this summer.....proving that the original jury was right on this one. his trial was to begim yeaterday but was postponed because he sent the judge a note threatening suicide. he was placed under "watch" in the county jail. he faces six charges of probation violation. the judge could sentence him to anything from life in prison to no prison time. i hope , if he gets out, that he moves in next door to the judge. seems fair to me. this kid is a proven killer and now a robber. what are we waiting for. put him down like a rabid dog. i know its xmas time so i did send him a xmas package including a belt, some shoelaces, a length of rope, some razor blades and some cyanide. i'm hoping he will do the right thing.

heres hoping lionel spends every xmas behind bars....or worse.

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

Angelina jolie is what...............

is anyone else tired of seeing angelina? or brad for that matter? when did she become the face of america to the world. granted, its a better face than dubya and she speaks better than he does, but still. every day theres another picture of her dragging brad and those adopted kids all around the globe. shes sitting with her burka on talking with these old women like she can realte to them. yeah right? i guess i do give her credit for adopting (and brown kids, not sitting around buying up white kids) but does she have to be everywhere. is she our representitive to the united nations? shes always there. lets put some perspective on this. he father is jon voight. hes certifiably insane......and he thinks shes kooky. wasnt she running around with a vial of billy bobs blood around her neck not too long ago. and what the hell is wrong with brad? anormal life with aniston wasnt enough? now she has you traipsing through 5th world countries dragging those kids behind her. that must be some powerful pussy. cmon, i love my wife, but if she said we were going to take the kids and run off to india there would be four of us at the airport waving as her plane took off. i dont need to go there. i'll just piss, crap and vomit in a bucket and stick my head in. everyone from india says that cures them of homesickness. and quit with the brangelina crap. why do we have to combine couples names now. it sounds ridiculous. stop it.

ok, get to work or the beautiful people will get you.

Monday, December 05, 2005

Another bloody month............

with the holidays upon us the news that november was one of the bloodiest months for our troops in this war is lousy news. no matter how this administration spins it this war is going downhill quickly. this isnt like afghanistan, which was a needed war to squash terrorism, this was a get even with saddam. the only goal that was achieved was the toppling of saddams government. we havent stopped terrorism (or even put a huge dent in it). we never found the wmd's like we thought we would (please save the shit about finding some barrels in the desert, that wasnt what we went in for). we havent caught osama bin laden. we havent caught most of the guys on the playing cards. we arent loved as liberators in that country. we havent improved our status in the muslim world. what we are doing is sacrificing our young soldiers so that some american companies can profiteer in a war torn country. it would be different if his daughters had to serve over in iraq for a year. our soldiers would be better equipped then but seeing that daddy didnt serve at all (as almost none of the people in this administration did) what chances do we have of seeing a bush family member serve in this war. mission accomplished.....hardly. i agree with rep. murtha (a decorated war veteran). we need to get out. we need a clear and concise plan for leaving. the iraqis need to step up now and take control of their country.

i support our bringing all our soldiers home for next xmas (this xmas is shot already)

Another reason not to be proud of pennsylvania.....

arlen specter is a senator from this great state. hes not a great senator though....hes an idiot. he was part of the warren commision if that explains anything. now lets get some things straight. our country is in turmoil. we have a retard as a president and a war that looks like vietnam part 2. this state is in a bad way too. jobs and the youth are leaving at a rather alarming rate but does that bother arlen? no. seems hes a little pissed off at the eagles. bald eagles you ask. what did those proud animals ever do to arlen? nothing idiots, now pay attention. hes mad at the philadelphia football eagles. seems he thinks they are treating terrel owens (heretofore refered to as t.o.) poorly. he thinks that they are stopping him from working and he might turn them in to the anti-trust committee of the senate. before my head explodes i will try to put this in some logical order.

1. first and foremost stay out of sports arlen. stick to what you know....kickbacks and payoffs (thats different than kickoffs and playoffs). dont you have a country to run.
2. t.o. had a hearing. he lost. hes getting paid they just wont activate him. lots of players dont get activated. most arent just good enough...t.o. is a douche bag. only a politcian would feel bad for someone who makes millions playing a game. i only wish my boss would pay me to stay home.

that seems to cover my thoughts right now. feel free to add your own. politcians shouldnt be involved in sports in any manner be it contracts, steroids...whatever. stick to making bets with other senators from whos state your team might be playing.

another happy monday morning.......enjoy it.

Friday, December 02, 2005

Once a cowboy..........

how did you spend your thanksgiving weekend? with family? eating? watching football? not michael irvin (unless you count the prisoners at the plano texas jail as many former cowboys are in there?). the dumbass gets pulled over on a outstanding warrant for a speeding ticket and to his suprise they found a crack pipe. was it his? he says no. you see its like this (start the music from cops) mike had a friend over for the holidays who just got out of the slammer (his dealer?). he left the pipe at mikes house and when mike found it he wanted to get it out of the house so his kids wouldnt find it (he didnt care about his kids while he was doing crack and blow with hookers while he was a player). he was going to throw it into a trash can somewhere (after using it) but he forgot. oh, and he wont name the friend. hes no rat. its wondered if this will affect his getting into the hall of fame. who the hell knows. it sure didnt affect his play on sundays....he was a hell of a reciever. jimmy johnson sure knew good talent but those cowboys werent the smartest group when it came to drugs. it was one of the linemen who got caught running around in a van with something in the neighborhood of 175 lbs of marijuana and then , while awaiting his drug trial, got caught with a vanload in the neighborhood of 220 lbs....if memory serves me.

tis the season for the cowboys fa la la la la la la la la..........

Thursday, December 01, 2005

When you crossed the line to creepy...........

everyone knows of someone who has just passed over that line. your not cute or caring your just plain creepy. now all of tom cruise's friends know that person. he has just gotten so f'd up this year its scary. he's jumping on couches, impregnating girls he just met, preaching that goofy scientology shit and now hes bought a sonogram machine to keep an eye on the fetus. for what? is he making sure the kid isnt reading anything on the scientology banned book list? anyone whos actually seen a sonogram knows those are unreadable. i have four kids and i've seen my share of those and i still cant make heads or tails of them. is that a testicle or an eye? who the hell knows. i'm convinced that the nurses explaining them to you are just guessing too. those machines run between 150 and 200k. thats alot of scratch to pay for a machine that makes pictures as clear as a rorschak. with all that said i cant even explain how f'd up she is. katy is just as kooky as he is.....maybe more. he found the perfect woman for him. he can just bully her into doing whatever crazy thing he wants...and nobody tells tom cruise no. no matter how wacky his ideas are everyone just nods their heads and tells him how smart he is. this guy didnt even graduate from high school

someone who passed that creepy line years ago has made the news again. seems your friend and mine, michael jackson, might not be the actual father of those two kids hes mean...hauling around. seems the organ donor who he used as a surrogate mother says the man juice came randomly from a sperm bank. no shit! those kids are white....hes not. no amount of bleach will make him look white. he actually looks like an alien who makeup was done by a funeral home. i think we need to confirm this with a dna test and immediately take the kids from his ignorant molesting ass. who would dangle his own kid from a balcony? he would. it isnt his kid. hell , the only way his sperm would get into a surrogate is if the surrogate was a 9 year old boy. please someone free those children.

its beginning to look alot like.........oh , screw it.

Wednesday, November 30, 2005

Bad xmas gifts, chapter 1.........

i got home yesterday to the sight of a harry and david catalog sticking out of my mailbox. i looked through it and i almost saved it for my wife when i realized that a harry and david gift box/basket might be the single worst gift ever given. now dont get me wrong they serve a purpose. those are the gifts you send to clients but if you send one of those to family your a piece of shit. that gift says "i didnt give one ounce of thought to your gift". how many pears can a human eat...even if they are good. hey if you want me to eat pears just send me the $100 you wasted....i'll buy my own pears. trust me on this...i'll get more than one basket of pears for that cash. as for everything else well, how many preservatives are in the cheese that can be sent without refrigeration through the mail? ever eat the sausage? thats the food they give convicts as a prank. oh, and please can you spare more than a thimble full of preserves. two little jars....i use that much on one slice of toast. what really blew me away was hams and turkeys.......for $54 to $90. a ten pound turkey for $70. hell, come to my house and i'll cook you a twenty pounder for $70. so please, for family, at least show a little effort. if you dont give a shit that much just give them the cash....they'll respect you more

along these same lines idiots like donald wildmon and jerry falwell are announcing a war on christmas (or xmas as the case may be). they say retailers arent using christ in xmas like they should. certain places are calling xmas trees holiday trees and that pisses off the religious right. they were going to sue the city of boston for calling their tree a holiday tree...a case they would have lost seeing you can call your tree whatever you desire but boston caved. so, with this in mind, i will refer to all xmas trees as holiday trees and i will use xmas exclusively. this is just a fundraising gimmick by the religious rightanyway.....but screw them.

go on with your day and as always..........happy holidays

Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Jessica and nick break up................

between the candied yams and the raging alcoholism at the thankgiving spread this topic came up. someone said they felt bad about the breakup. i countered that they had it coming. anyone whos been married (much less done it twice) knows that the last thing you want is the first couple of years televised. hell, i'm not sure that if you knew what you were getting into you would even want to be there the first couple of years. they sold out their happily ever after for a couple of bucks. maybe if his career wasnt going down like ricky martin at a menudo concert they wouldnt have needed the money. lets be honest, hes only famous in the last couple of years for being married to the stupidest woman on the planet. dont get me wrong if tits were brains shes the female einstein but alas they are not so shes the female........well, jessica simpson. she parlayed those huge sweater puppies into a fine career but that isnt going to last. i have some predictions. shes going to make two more horrible movies...and then its over. producers will realize that her tits dont speak and shes done. she'll get some f'd up surgery and will be posing in playboy to revive her career. the funny part is she'll still be higher on the celebrity food chain than nick. i dont have any predictions for him....he has no future. sure he'll make a cd that will sell 3.2.........thousand copies. he'll make some lousy made for tv movies and then will be on an e hollywood special when his addiction to hookers and blow gets the best of him. he'll blow all his money and be destitute. his only chance at greatness will be when his and jessicas sex tape shows up on the internet. suprisingly it will have been stolen from his house......he didnt put it out. no, not him.....the attention whore. so when you are standing around feeling sorry for nick and jessica remember.....they started it.

Monday, November 28, 2005

Black friday..................

black friday came and went. i gave some thought to it and realized that i could care less. every year its the same thing people getting up at the crack of dawn (unless they are sleeping out there), fighting to get a parking space, waiting in line and fighting over a limited number of this years special toy. who, in their right mind, would subject themselves to that. the only ones worse are the douche bags that shop on thankgiving day. what kind of asshole would shop on thankgiving day. stores shouldnt be allowed to be open on that day. thats a day for people to be home with their families. you know that while the minimum wage crowd is working the owners are home with their families. if people didnt shop on that day the stores wouldnt open. anyway , back to what i started with. black friday is the single most insane day ever. i do most of my shopping online so i dont have to be near the asswipes that like to fight for a bargain. nothing i like more than being blindsided by a 400 pound woman so that she can get the last cabbage patch doll/care bear/xbox or what ever the companies decide they wont make enough of but advertise like mad so your kids are in a frenzy for. please dont say that they dont do that. every year there seems to be one item that everyone wants but there is never enough of. the news will broadcast live at 11:00 pm on thankgiving night showing the line waiting in icy cold to get a shot at that toy. they will interview the store manager who will announce that they only have a limited number of these (please only one per customer) and dont know when the next shipment will be (but assuredly it will be after christmas). if you want to see a news director ejaculate in to his bvd's then let there be a window broken, a fight or better yet a small riot. not only does this go to the top of the news cast but it might make national. hell, i just came. so if you, for some perverse reason, must go out on black friday i hope your head gets stepped on.

great, back to work monday.

Thursday, November 24, 2005

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

Twas the night before............

i have no idea whos going to read this today. alot of people dont work today and i assume that , like me, most people are just fucking off on company time with these blogs. i wont be posting anymore this week (unless something really great happens) so i know you'll miss me. heres a couple of headlines that i found amusing.....

down in central america (colombia actually) a statue of christ appears to be bleeding. of course its being shipped to the church in bogota where the catholic church will investigate. we are all aware of just how scientific the catholic church can be. this is just a case of uneducated people flocking to something they dont understand........ and never will. how ridiculous. if jesus wants to help those people bleed some cash for them. how about getting rid of the corrupt governments that hold these people down. in reality the catholic church likes these people held down. poor and stupid is a recipe for blind faith.

finally our government is going to court with jose padilla. he's the brooklyn born convert to islam that has been held without any rights since 2002 under the patriot act. he was arrested because he was supposedly going to explode a dirty bomb in america. suprisingly the new court papers now dont mention that at all. a whole new set of charges have come up. i know some right wing readers will nail me on this post but the reality is is that this is some bullshit. i'm not saying he isnt guilty...he might be for all i know. i just dont think you should be locked up with no access to a lawyer, your family.....without your unalienable rights that are given to you as a citizen of this country. now you can say that hes a terrorist....but that hasnt been proven. this could happen to you or me if someone powerful decides they dont like us. nothing had to be proven to lock him up for 3 years. our rights are disappearing and we arent even noticing.

headlines here in the burg are that the catholic churches new papers they put out did not include gays. is this news? was anyone suprised? what did catholics think the church was going to do? roll out a red carpet. actually the church is missing a huge money grab here. who has more donation money than a dink couple (dink = double income , no kids). oh and a priest out west who was accused of molesting two young girls jump to his death from a mountain in a national park. i only hope he was pushed. someone did that to my kids and i'd throw him off of something high. my guess is that the priest section of hell is filling up too fast and he wanted to get a good place with a view.

ok kids, enjoy your turkey, pop the top button on your pants and chow down

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

Thanksgiving week insanity..............

fron the museum of the hard to believe comes the story of an artist from new york who moved there from argentina. shes a designer and she designed a high top sneaker that was introduced at insite, an art exhibition in san diego. these shoes sell in the boutiques there for $215. the artist though will give them away to migrants for free. it seems like a nice idea BUT theres always the underlying bullshit. these arent ordinary SNEAKERS. these little numbers have a compass and flashlight dangling from one shoelace, a pocket in the tongue for money and a map of the u.s/mexico border printed on the removable insole. a whole new meaning to sneakers. i read a couple of blogs that called for her to be thrown out of this country but try and remember the constitution kids. free speech and all that stuff. i know with dubya in office we have all seemed to forget that we have unalienable rights......but we do and so does this woman who is a citizen and makes it a point to tell everyone that she came here legally. i do think that anyone we catch swimming over with those shoes on should have them confiscated and sent home barefoot (where they would fit in with everyone else in mexico). i actually give this woman credit for selling what might be the ugliest shoes in history for $215. a true entrepreneur........the american dream come true.

soon this short work week will be over........then the relatives show up.

Monday, November 21, 2005

The bandwagon seems to be emptying.......

has dubya's luck run out. seems like alot of republicans are distancing themselves from our president....and with good reason. his numbers are going down faster than richard simmons in boystown and with karl rove trying to cover his own ass there doesnt seem to be anyone to spin this their way. they cant make congressman murtha look like a communist sympathizer. i blame it all on the iraqis. why cant they just enjoy being ruled by us? this attitude didnt work as far back as the crusades and it wont work now. we cant stop them from car bombing. now before you go and say i dont support the troops just kiss my ass. i support the troops but when something is unwinnable well.......... hey the russians got beat in afghanistan, and they played dirty. how do we expect to play clean and win here? we cant. and we are sacrificing our young men and women for what? we arent stopping terrorism. we havent found any weapons of mass destruction. the world isnt any safer. texas oil men said they needed more oil and they were shut out of the mideast. how do we get texas oil's foot in the door there....take over a country. dont tell me that we went in because they were the biggest threat.....they werent. north korea is a huge threat. iran is a huge threat. sudan is a huge threat. china is becoming a huge threat. what do those countries have in common? they arent perched over top of a huge oil reserve. i think the politcians are beginning to see that the tide is turning in this country and support for bush is dropping as it is with alot of republicans. hey iraq, i hope your army is ready soon because ready or not..................

welcome to monday everyone...its a short week.

Friday, November 18, 2005

Just like the girl who married dear old dad.......

we all have those wonderful memories of our mothers as we grew up. hopefully yours is still around, mine isnt. my mom would have been the cool mom, not sylvia johnson cool, but coll none the less. whos sylvia johnson you ask? well sylvia was the cool mom in golden colorado. she never fit in when she was in school but by being the cool mom she said she felt like she belonged to the group. she fit in. how do you get to be cool? you give alcohol and drugs to your kid and his friends. ok, you've attained coll status. nothing that some beer and a doob or a line of blow to make you fit in. hell, it made me semi-cool in high school. sylvia, though, wasnt satisfied. she worked her brain overtime trying to figure out a way to be even cooler...if that were possible. it was possible. having sex with his friends would make her cooler. if one of my friends mom was hot i would have wanted to have sex with her. hell, in high school, i would have had sex with one of her shoes....i wasnt picky. unfortunately the authorities didnt think sylvia was that cool. maybe she should have let them do a line of blow off her her shoulder while having sex with them but hindsight is 20/20. she pleaded guilty to two misdemeanor counts of sexual assault and nine felony counts of contributing to the delinquency of a minor. bad break sylvia, maybe you'll be the cool mom in prison because sylvia was sentenced to 30 years in prison. she'll be 71 when she gets out so chances are she can be the cool grandma then.

in a related story a 37 year old woman was arrested in georgia. what was she arrested for shoes? i'll ask, you werent going to. well she was arrested one day after she married one of her sons 15 year old friends. they were married in the driveway of a retired judge. she also announced that shes pregnant with his child. now the reason i brought this up is not just the humor here but the fact that even though i'm a reverand in the universal life church of modesto california i cant do weddings here. why? am i less responsible than this retired judge. what is he thinking? does he really think this was a good idea. i will go on record now and tell you that i wouldnt have done that.

well, good luck to the cool moms...everyone else, enjoy your weekend.

Thursday, November 17, 2005

Thursday and i got nothin.............

i really have no idea what to write about today. actually thats refreshing to here. most blogs should say that daily. alot of the ones i find by accident are just that........acccidents. if i run into one more blog of shitty poetry or some teenage chick explaining how her life is devastated since her parents made her curfew 11pm my head will explode but hey, thats the blog it or leave it. i turned on the tv this morning and waited to here what the top story was. guess what it was. the failed war iraq? no. bush lying on his far east trip? no. its which quarterback will start for the steelers this weekend. the tv station actually did a phone in poll and then they brought in a psychiatrist to explain the vote. we just had elections here and all kind of good shit happened but that doesnt even make the news. this town does love it team so let me talk about them. the steelers play the ravens this week. baltimore sucks. their just phoning it in now. theres no fight left in this team anymore. they dont even have a quarterback. sure they have kyle boller but can he really be considered a quarterback. he might be the worst first round pick ever. if not, hes really close then. their defense has finally blew out. you cant expect those guys to carry the team for 16 games. dont think i'm crying for the baltimorons. what has happened to them couldnt happen to a more worthy team. brian billick (self proclaimed genius) is staking his career on boller. bad move. the gnius label should be gone ray lewis (the murderer) is the single most overrated player in nfl history. every tackle is 7 yards downfield and they rave about how great he is. so with all that in mind the steelers will beat them this week and go on to win the afc north.

what a lame post this was....enjoy your thursday

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

Their eyes and ears were then opened........

i think the voters of pennsylvania might have finally heard above the roar of corporate payouts and backdoor dealings. the pennsylvania legislator repealed their pay raises that were voted in in an early morning end around of the citizenry. the voters here voted out a state supreme court judge for the first time ever. good for the vote out the rest of the schmucks. i think it just shows how screwed up politics is. who else in the world gets to vote for their own raise. shouldnt they have to come to us and ask for one. on a per citizen basis pennsylvania has more legislators than any other state. there was one guy who didnt vote to repeal his raise. his raise was going to equal 30K per year. A 30K DOLLAR RAISE. who of us gets a raise like that? every raise any politician gets should be voted on by the citizens he represents. i think that would be fair. you work hard, show up for votes, dont go running off for every photo-op (see rick santorum) and you get a raise. not a 14 to 25 percent raise like they voted themselves but one like we would get. you dont like that idea ,then get out of politics. i know in the private sector you probably wont be able to line your pockets with kickbacks and you wont be able to give cusshy jobs to all your friends and family but thats the price you pay to not have us decide your raise. anyone else think this is fair? how do wew go about getting this on the ballot. politics was never meant to be a career. george washington was a farmer and when he was done with the presidency he went back to farming. the people wanted him to stay on longer but he said that he had served his time and someone else needed to step up. if we had term limits maybe , just maybe, a politician couldnt get so entrenched in one place. i think its time we vote out all the good old boys and allow them to get on with their lifes work.

hump day! celebrate however you feel is appropriate.

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

Speaking in tongues...........

the town of dover pennsylvania voted out almost the entire school board because they wanted intelligent design taught in science class. as you may know i find this to be a wonderful thing. they dont need to teach intelligent design in dover because the voters there already had a pretty intelligent design. whos going to speak for the ousted school board members though? whos going to be their voice? well, up steps the insane reverand pat robertson. pat has said that something bad is probably going to happen there and they shouldnt turn to god because they voted him out of their city. hes not saying bad things WILL happen but if they do.........well, they had it comin. first off, pat's tight with god, why CANT he guarantee something bad will happen. moses did. i guess he can only do it when its a slam dunk like when he said a hurricane will hit florida because they let gays into disneyland. a hurricane? hitting florida during hurricane season? way to go out on a limb pat but you know donations to that ridiculous 700 club went up then. why dont you call down a plague of snow for this winter in dover. now, as you might know, i am a reverand in the universal life church of modesto california and i know some things. first god is thrilled that intelligent design got voted down. hes kind of pissed off that he spent millions of years working on evolution....getting it just right and then people not recognizing what genius went into that. in a quote god said "any lesser god could just make a planet and put people on it, i made a platypus". god didnt seem all that vindictive though. when asked about gays in disneyworld he said "oh, for my sake, let them have a week. whos it hurting? not me". god went on to say that we shouldnt blame him for all the crazy weather lately. he said that mother natures friend came to visit and then he winked at me and said "if you get my drift". i did. i still want to thank pat robertson because without him i wouldnt have such good material for this blog. he completes me.

happy tuesday everyone. winters about to strike the burg and i need to get ready.

Monday, November 14, 2005

Going too far..............

ok, i'm reading through the paper this morning and i glance across the opinion page. i'm not always a huge fan of the opinion page because whos opinion is more important than mine. all the paper should print are columns of my opinions. the world would straighten up real quick. regardless of that one letter caught my eye. someone named terry (man/woman?) was bitching about things that bother him/her. see we are slowly ending smoking in public places here in the burg. i'm an ex-smoker but i am totally against this policy. if you dont like smoking in the bar then find a bar that is non-smoking. dont screw up everyone elses good times because you have sensitive lungs. now terry wants to go a step farther. he/she thinks that alcohol should be banned too. people get drunk and then drive endangering him/her. actually they endanger all of us but thats not everyones problem. there are many more responsible drinkers in the world but terry thinks we all should suffer because of the few without any control. terry also thinks that perfume/aftershave should be banned too. some people are alergic. screw them ....stay home. the only reason i sit with some people is because they smell good. why should the many suffer because of the few. heres my view of terry. lets say its a man. hes mid 40's, lives at home with the parents, has never had a girlfriend much less sex, is pissed off at everything because of the supposed slights that have held him back, terry cant control his raging alcoholism and wants everyone to stop because of it, his hatred of perfume goes back to all the women who have turned him down. now lets say terry is a woman. shes early 40's, lives alone, bitter with men and alcohol and perfume because the few times shes had sex was in the back seat of her car after drinking heavily in a bar.....and the guy never talked to her again. terry's overweight and has no need for perfume because the only time a guy would look at her is if hes drunk off his ass (hence the hatred for alcohol). ok its over the top but i'll bet i'm not too far off. arent enough of our rights going away. please let us smell good and drink a little. its really only hurting terry.

Friday, November 11, 2005

A bad way to go........

sometimes i ponder my ultimate demise. i wonder how i'm going to croak and then something comes along to make you realize how you DONT want to go out. steve courson was a pittsburgh steeler. he had two super bowl rings. he admitted to taking steroids and how it had affected his heart but yesterday things got really bad for steve. while cutting down trees on his property, ALONE, he got crushed by a tree while trying to save his dog. at first i felt bad but as time went on i couldnt help but laugh. what a horrible way to go. that is no way for a guy with two super bowl rings to go. i sure wouldnt like to go that way BUT if i did i give permission to anyone and everyone to stand by the casket and laugh. ok, i give permission to laugh at my funeral to everyone regardless of how i go. i also told my wife that she could put funny things on my tombstone like "i thought he was quicker" or "at least the dog was ok" or "the trees got even". look, if that was me the dogs being buried today..not me. i dont like dogs enough to risk my life even a little. dog drowning in a, we can get another. dog runs out in front of a, hes going to buy us another. dog doesnt move while the trewe is, i thought he was quicker. wow, thats really a multi-purpose statement isnt it. steve courson was a good guy. he went to schools and preached to kids about the problems you have down the road with steroids. he never blamed anyone else for his taking them and he never ratted out his teammates that might have taken them too but didnt want to come out. he was a stand up guy and the world is lesser without him.....but its still funny.

enjoy your weekend everyone

Thursday, November 10, 2005

Evolution, win some-lose some..........

election day has come and gone. here in the burg we got more of the same ol shit. our mayor is one of the good ol boys and this city will just continue to sink like a stone. pittsburgh is incredibly democrat. people vote democrat here no matter what. if the dems put hitler on the ballot there would be buttons that said "what about all the good things hitler did?". its a as bad as the jackasses that vote republican without thinking. one thing caught my eye though. evolution. it won here in central pennsylvania but took an asswhipping in kansas. in the middle of pa a school board was trying to get "intelligent design" on the curriculum. "intelligent design" is another way of saying creationism. " intelligent design" is neither intelligent or a design. its reverse darwinism. people who believe it are de-evolving. eight of the nine school board members were voted out yesterday. maybe the folks in pennsyltucky (the area between philadelphia and pittsburgh) arent so stupid. on the other hand people in kansas voted for the teaching of creationism even though the nea was against it, even though the national academy of science was against went through. i wonder where kansas ranks among the fifty states on the stupidity scale? is it any wonder that the united states is falling behind the rest of the world in science. i dont care if they teach creationism but it shouldnt be taught in science class. it should be taught in the same class that greek mythology is taught. you see science class is for shit thats real. i have seen dinosaur bones, i havent seen gods bones. there is proof that dinosaurs existed, the only proof that god existed was a book of fiction..namely the bible. so in conclusion it was a dark day for kansas but a good day for pennsylvania. scientology doesnt look that crazy after all.

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

What are we going to do about the french.......

apparently the french are turning on one another. i guessing the french will surrender in about a week BUT considering they are fighting other french people you cant underestimate the other side in this one.....they may surrender first. the only sure is that someone french will surrender. i'm putting my money on the french. whats the big deal here...the immigrant french people feel they are being mistreated by the regular french people? so what. they've been treating american tourists shitty for years and unlike you unemployed immigrant losers we are actually spending money there. i'm sure sooner or later we will be called in to bail out the french government once again. on the other hand these immigrants are mainly muslims from northern africa and the mid east. if they dont like france they are free to go back whence they came. seems it all started because two young muslim lads were running from the police and got electrocuted. lesson here: dont run from the police. if you decide to run from the police you are less like two muslim lads and more like two muslim criminals. now for the part where i become much as we would hope the world wouldnt have things like prejudice and racial profiling please forgive people for being a little antsy around muslims. their reputation has shall we put it.....tarnished as of late. in america i feel like if you are coming to live here then assimilate. at least try. i dont think we need to put up duplicate street signs in spanish or whatever language was spoken in the country you escaped from. so , to sum it up, in america, try to be a little more american and when in france try to be cheese eating surrender monkeys.

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

For christs sake, it was lesbian cheerleaders.........

ok ladies, this is shoes "lesson number one on men". yesterday i posted a story about two carolina panther cheerleaders that got in a fight in a bar because they were having sex in a bathroom stall and took too long. the first comment i get is from ccw and she states that this story doesnt excite her. ok i respect that all women are not just waiting to have a lesbian expirence while i watch but ...throw me a bone here. just act like you are. we couldnt be more simple creatures. lesbian cheerleaders excite us. if we think you like it too it excites us more. deep down inside we know you arent going out to bring home two cheerleaders for us...but a boy can dream .....cant he? you dont have to act on it....just act like you would. we do that when we go shopping with you guys. we act like we want to see you try on 800 dresses and trapise out of the dressing room to show us.....but we dont and i dont think your fooled by our act either. these were lesbian cheerleaders for christs sake. this is like if a truckload of designer dresses would flip in front of your house, scattering dresses all over your lawn. imagine the orgasm you would have. its like that for us. ladies, please pretend this story excites you. your man will thank you over and over. forget the fact that the bathroom stall in a bar is like a giant dna expirement and there rolling in it. we dont care and you shouldnt either. thats lesson number one ladies. i'll roll out more lessons as i feel they are needed.

Monday, November 07, 2005

in a story that both shocks and excites me two carolina panther cheerleaders were arrested in tampa on early sunday morning. they had a little run in at a bar with another woman. a fight ensued, punches were thrown and then the police showed up. the reason for the fight is whats so hot. witnesses say that angela keathley and renee thomas were engaged in some kind of sexual activity inside a bathroom stall at banana joe's around 2:20am. naturally the line backed up and another woman complained. untimately thomas punched the woman in the face. should they be allowed to cheer again.....hell yeah! now i want to tune into the game just to see them. that is so completely hot its scary. to see these two you can go to and see these tow hot chicks. its better than hearing about a linebacker beating up his prgnant wife after a loss isnt it?

in newark new jersey a roman catholic high school has ordered its students to remove their blogs under threat of suspension. the diocese says its because of the threat of cyberpredators. why are they worried? they're teaching the good christian kids to saty away from that kind of thing , right? the reality is they dont want any free thinkers in that group. i think all the kids should start blogs immediately. this is my problem with organized religion. they want to control what you do in your outside life. we all laugh at katie holmes because the scientologists are taking over her life......whats so different here? nothing. god forbid a kid blog about a priest taking advantage of a underaged youth.

well kids enjoy your monday. i'm going to look at cheerleaders.

Friday, November 04, 2005

Almost the weekend............

home depot in louisville is in a bit of a pickle. seems a guy was very distraught and screaming for help. even with that the employees and management thought he was only joking.........but he wasnt. his ass was superglued to a toilet seat. his lawsuit points out the panic he was in as "they just left me to rot". paramedics were ultimately called in and unbolted the toilet seat AND as they wheeling a " frightened and humiliated" mr dougherty out of the store he passed out. seems to be alot of superglueing body parts to things lately.

oscar goodman , the mayor of las vegas, is so pissed off at grafitti artists that he has said they should have their thumbs cut off. he compared it to the beheadings in france in the middle ages. he also suggested that whippings and canings should be brought back. oscar might have a little muslim in him. lets be honest here, if you want to stop them cut off their index fingers. you know, the ones they hold down the sprayer on the paint can with. that would stop them. lets see them spray paint some shit without their index fingers and those little basstards can just say goodbye to all the crazy pointing they do. nice job oscar, the religious right will run you for president.

some girls are starting a "girlcott" of abercrombie and fitch because some of their shirts have slogans that are offensive. the shirts have sayings like "who needs brains when you have these" and "i had a nightmare i was a brunette". ok, so it pisses you off. get over it. if you dont like it just dont buy it. i cant stand guys wearing jeans that drag on the ground and show half their ass but i dont boycott the stores that sell them......i just laugh at the assholes wearing them. ladies you should try that approach. i actually think those shirts are kinda funny.

have a good weekend everyone. hope your team wins sunday

Thursday, November 03, 2005

Back to the future..........

whats with bush now listening to scientists when refering to the bird flu. isnt he afraid that the religious right will be pissed. did god tell him to consult the scientists. maybe after all the hurricanes he quit listening to god. ok, thats crazy thoughts, i know but is his defense its easier to spell god than science. he remembers it by thinking of dog and then reversing it. maybe if the scientists can save the day we can get back to teaching science and not "intelligent design". maybe we can stop the war on science.

gail otoole and ken slaby used to date. when they broke up ken found another girl quickly......gail didnt. while ken was taking a nap at gails house one day (can you say booty call) gail put her plan into action. the plan she had been thinking about ever since the breakup. gail superglued kens penis to his stomach then took his clothes and car keys and threw him out. ken walked a mile to a convenience store, found a cop that drove him to a hospital and is now in court with a civil suit against gail. the moral of the story.........dont fall asleep at an ex girlfriends house. woman can really be a vindictive group.

in texas evangelina sanchez gonzalez seems to use toll booths the last 20 months shes had the opoortunity to go through them over 2900 times. the tolls would come to a total of approximately 1800 dollars. but alas eva decided to just run them sometimes. why pay the toll. maybe she was short on change that day. maybe she was in a hurry. she must have been because she ran the toll booths over 2900 times. her fines are 42 times what the tolls would have been. eva now owes the state of texas 76k. aye carumba.

in japan a 16 year old girl is under arrest for slowly poisoning her mother. she got caught by posting it on her blog. apparently not all japanese children are ahead of our kids. this isnt a rocket scientist here. i only tell you this because as a reader of this blog i am slowly poisoning your minds. i wont write about it again for fear that i will get caught and then some dumbass (such as myself) will write about me like i am writing about the stupid 16 year old japanese girl.

get to work now. you've wasted enough time already.

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

Halloween funnies............

in frederica delaware a woman hanged herself. the 42 year old woman used rope to hang herself along a fairly busy street across from some moderately priced homes. she hung herself about 15 feet off of the ground so she was clearly visible to passing cars and the homes. ok, so your asking "whats the funny part?". well the funny part is that she hung there for hours because everyone thought it was a holiday prank or a halloween decoration. what a lousy way to shuffle off to the afterlife. this REALLY wasnt her day. they should have left her up till after know how expensive those decorations can be.

in the u.k. a man who was living with a woman and her daughter set up the childs room to scare her into having sex with him. seems he set her room up with fishing line to look like they had a poltergeist and the only way should could protect her family was to have sex with him. it really picked up after her mom went into the hospital. this guy had the room rigged with holes in the wall so he could move furniture while she was in there and fishing line to work the keyboard on her piano. actually the guy seems kind of handy and its obvious that the girl is no rockety scientist. hey wrote stuff with lip gloss on her mirror and then pretended that he couldnt see it. my 8 year old wouldnt fall for that.

in rome italy some boys were trick or treating and setting off firecrackers. they scared a 70 year old man and then decided to wait for the candy. sure he answered the door and then shot them. way to scare people guys. nice job. maybe you ought to rethink the mask thing next year. or the firecracker thing. or the sticking around for candy after you terrified an old person thing. any of those will work.

good times...good times. enjoy your day kids

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

Halloween memories...........

halloween is my favorite holiday. i know, people like me are usually on the outer fringes of normal society, but its true so why try to hide it. as a child this holiday was a series of highs and lows. from the easy going fun of charlie brown and the great pumpkin to the fact that there might actually be ghosts and one might be under my bed or waiting for me on halloween night. it was always darker on halloween night when we were going door to door. there was always the talk of what we were going to dress up as and then when you saw everyones costumes it was great. we went to trick otr treating as a pack (without parents) and we were out for hours. i mean like five hours. we started at say 6 oclock and didnt end until after 11. if you had a light on we showed up. there were no amount of steps or a mountain too high for us to climb. we mapped out our route so that we could hit the maximum amount of homes in the allotted time and having our homes as the hub so that we could dump our pillow cases as they got full. there were years when we would get 6 or 8 pillow cases full of candy in a night. we cut through allies and yards that wouldnt have bothered us any other night of the year but that night it was darker and the shadows looked scarier. as we got older the fun turned to pranks. seeing that the area that i grew up in in pittsburgh was more akin to mayberry we didnt light cars on fire or any of the shit you heard about in detroit. we were more of the toilet paper and egg throwing crowd. the mini-mart near where we lived wouldnt sell eggs to minors the week before halloween without a note from your parents which became a lucrative business for the one guys sister who could write well and had adult looking handwriting. that led to the letter...

dear stop n go employee,

please allow (whoever) to purchase these eggs with the money i have given him. i need these to make some halloween treats for him and his friends.

thank you,
(mr/mrs so and so)

i think you get the picture. whatever they thought my mother was making with 12 dozen eggs i'll never know but it worked. the police kept an eye on us too but considering that they had all the ability of barney fife well we didnt worry a whole lot about them. stealing pumpkins was another thing all together. my buddies and i held the "7 man one week pumpkin stealing record". let me preface this part with the facts that pumpkins cost less then and people didnt do the intricate designs they do now. i have scared all the kids in my neighborhood so bad that they wont even think of stealing my pumpkins now. i think we stole something like 180 pumpkins that week.

as i get ready to take my two children (and six of their friends) out for trick or treating i realize it isnt the same. all the kids have parents with them, its now ends at 7:30, alot of kids dont even dress. i refuse to give candy to older kids who wont dress up. fuck them. no effort no candy. my street has one side where all they houses are on the level and the other side (the high side) where there are steps. we have eight steps and some kids wont come up them because ....well....they are lazy little fucks. its a shame these kids cant expirence the fun and the scared feelings and the freedom we felt on that one night.

well i've rambled on now too long. i sound like grampa on the simpsons. enjoy your day everyone.

Monday, October 31, 2005

Trick or treat.............

a russian woman was sentenced to six years in jail. this isnt uncommon in russia where everyone should be jailed but what is odd is what she was jailed for. and what was she jailed for? survey says..........selling her daughter for 10k. thats right this russian mother of the year was going to sell her six year old daughter even though the undercover cops told her that she would be used for sex and then her organs would be harvested. i cant believe she only got six years for this. at the very least she should be spayed or neutered or whatever you call it.

in spring hill florida the school district takes its security very seriously. they arrested an eleven year old girl. she was showing off a vial of powder that she claimed was glitter. i know, you all are waiting for me to say it was an ounce of blow but alas that isnt the case. when they dumped out the young ladies backpack out fell........survey says...........a butter knife. she was suspended as part of the counties zero tolerance policy. it actually should be refered to as the zero brain cells policy. i guess common sense isnt that common after all.

a michigan chiropractor had his license suspended after being charged with fondling two teenage girls after telling them that their breasts were uneven. the girls age 16 and 17 gave detailed reports of how he fondled them AND as a condition of employment had to submit to spinal adjustments at the beginning and end of each shift. this is also the reason i'm not allowed into most of the strip clubs in the burg. do you think this guy went to school just to molest teenage girls. what a scam. i might just try this out this week.

happy halloween everyone and go steelers

Friday, October 28, 2005

Fridays funnies............

ok, so maybe they arent all that funny.....

in camden new jersey (need i say more) two men were arrested on sunday. that nothing special in camden. what is funny is that they were arrested for trying to buy drugs with a ........survey says........a grenade. the drug dealer called the police. how fucked up are you when a drug dealer calls the cops on you. for the uninformed let me explain. drug dealers do NOT take checks, plastic and most definitely they do NOT take grenades.

in india police brought charges against a finnish tourist for ..........survey says...........swimming naked in a holy lake. any wonder why this country is third world? i take that back. thats an insult to third world nations....india is fourth world. nobody cares that these people shit in the middle of the street. that they bathe in the river that supplies drinking water. no, thats just fine. just dont eat a cow or swim in a holy lake. my father was in india during the war and he said it was the onlyu country they flew into that you could smell before you see. thank god we are shipping jobs there so quickly.

turkey is to the european union what the fat girl is at the dance. sure she standing there and she wants to dance but nobodies rushing over to ask her. is it any wonder that the eu wont let them in. i turkish court has fined 20 people for.........survey says.........using the letters q and w on a placard under a law that bans the use of of characters not in the turkish alphabet. wtf! are they insane. what do i expect though from a country that has a human rights violations that make saudi arabia look progressive, treat women like cattle (i've seen turkish women, they might have that one right) and are run by a bunch of religious asswipes. another fouth world country.

enjoy your weekend everyone. and you, take that mask off right now.

Thursday, October 27, 2005

Suprises for your thursday...............

i guess the score now reads american soldiers dead in iraq-2000
weapons of mass destruction found-0
congratulations president bush. mission accomplished. he said the only way to honor these war dead are to stay until the job is done. i can only imagine how many more young men and women will be dead by then. in some telling statistics we find that almost all the casualties happened after dubya declared " mission accomplished". soldiers over in iraq are dying at a rate of around 800 per year and regardless of what dubya, cheney and rumsfeld tell us that rate is going up. the second thousand were killed faster than the first thousand and there is no reason to believe that the third thousand wont be killed even faster. their underground army is becoming more and more efficent at killing our soldiers and we cant stop it. dont get me wrong our soldiers are trying but this isnt a conventional war and we wont fight like they do so they keep sending boys home in body bags. this isnt even beginning to tell you how many are wounded...that number far exceeds 2000. our government wont even give out those numbers. and for what? we didnt get any weapons of mass destruction, oil is more expensive now than ever, we arent any safer, we arent even trying to explore alternative fuel sources. congrats mr president....mission accomplished.

sheryl swoopes has announced shes a lesbian. are you suprised? actually i'd be more suprised if you knew who sheryl swoopes is. she a star player in the wnba (thats womens basketball). hey sheryl if you wanted to shock me find me a player in the wnba who isnt a lesbian (not that i have anything against lesbians...i am one). will it hurt her endorsements? i didnt know she had any endorsement deals. this wont hurt the wnba because nobody gives a good shit about the wnba....and why should they? the absolute worst team in mens college ball would beat the best wnba team. i'm not talking alcorn state here i mean the team from the yashiva school of syosset long island would beat them. five nice jewish boys would kick their asses. hey congrats sheryl, i hope you have a wonderful relationship but lets be honest this isnt news and its hardly a blip on the sports radar screen.

see, i knew you'd be get to work.

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

Mid-week crisis...........

in steilacoom washington there is a middle school student named james watkins. his parents descibe him as a straight a student, an athlete and a "good kid". school officials have a different view. they suspended him for three days and he got cited for sexual harassment because......he wore an inflatable penis costume to the high school homecoming dance. he might be a good kid but hes not a smart kid. in what world did he think that was going to be a-ok? did he expect the principal to come out and carry him into the dance on his shoulders proclaiming him to be the homecoming king? dont get me wrong thats something i would have done in my youth but then again nobody refers to me as a "good kid". i agree that the sexual harassment citation might be overboard but his parents should just take him into the house and beat him. by the way, mr school official, you just made james watkins the most popular kid in middle school.

in montgomery alabama police are looking for a pee wee football coach. hes accused of shooting the father of one of his players because he pulled his son off of the team. seems that was the boys punishment. apparently he meant alot to the team on the other hand nobody shot emmit smiths dad when he retired. by the way the coach has been banned from pee wee football. really? no shit? parents and coaches really need to get a grip on things in this country.

wellington mara died on tuesday at 89. you may not know him but he was the owner of the new york football giants and a founding father of the nfl. big deal you say but if not for him football wouldnt be as big as it is today. mara could of went the way of steinbrenner and said that new york was the biggest market and he wasnt going to share tv money but he didnt. he saw what was in the best interest of the league and did whats right. now football is our national game. baseball could and should learn some things but they wont. mara was a good guy. he didnt mouth off in the press. you never read about him in the scandal rags. hes what an owner should be. football is going to miss a man like him.

alright everybody lets get to work.

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

Real american heroes.........

we throw the term hero around so much anymore that it really has lost some of its luster but an american hero has died. rosa parks. for those of you who dont know her it could be said that she started the civil rights movement. it happened in 1955 (no not 1855 or 1755 this is recent history) when she wouldnt give up a seat to a white man on the bus. see in montgomery alabama a black person could only sit in the black seats reserved in the back of the bus but if the bus filled up with white people the blacks were supposed to give up the black seats to them. i guess you could say there werent any black seats at all but that the seats in the back were being kept warm for whites by the blacks. well that winter a seamstress named rosa parks said no. she refused to give up her seat to a white man......and she was ARRESTED. thats right arrested....and fined $10. $10 to a seamstress in montgomery in 1955 was alot of money but she decided that she was a full citizen and had a right to the seat. rumors have said that it was in the front of the bus but it was in the back. after that blacks in montgomery boycotted the buses. they walked, biked, whatever to get where they needed to go and crippled the montgomery bus line. martin luther king jr. got his start there organizing the boycott. so in hindsight i guess you can say that rosa fired the "no" heard round the world (or at least the u.s.). so keep that in mind when you think you cant make a difference. remember what a seamstress from montgomery alabama accomplished with one simple word.

i think that will be all i will write about today. this is something i hope we will all think about today.

enjoy your tuesday guys......

Monday, October 24, 2005

Well, you got me now........

ok everyone heres the news blast. i'm unamerican. apparently i dont like this country. i dont like the war.....or the bible.....or organized religion.....or the republican party....or putting magnetic ribbons on my car......or...well you get my drift. if thats what it takes to be called a real american then count me out. i'm tired of people with a w stickers on their car. dont you know he and his friends are fucking you? this war is a great diversion. gas prices through the ceiling while the companies make record profits and the government gives them tax breaks. does anyone think that its just a coincidence that texas is big oil and bush is from texas? as for the war...bring our troops home. let the iraqis govern themselves. anyone who thinks that fighting this war is going to bring peace is an idiot. wmd's...where are they? wasnt that the reason we went there in the first place? this country wasnt a threat to the united states. saudi arabia is a bigger threat but they've bought the bushes loyalty so we wont go after those animals. i bring this up and all i get is " you dont support the troops". well fuck that. the germans supported their troops too. i actually support the troops i just dont support this administration and wont follow them blindly. i should read the good book? i did. that harry potter is the bomb. oh, you mean the bible. well i dont consider that the good book. its fiction. its not the good book...hell, its not even the ok book. its written poorly and reads like vcr instructions. you think with all the money the vatican has they would hire someone to punch that up a bit. i also hear it ends poorly. organized religion just makes us feel that these priests/preachers/warlocks, whatever you call them, are special men. their not. those men, and i say men because most religions have shut women out, arent any better than you and i (and they may be worse). why a woman would go within thiry five feet of a catholic church is so beyond me. they obviously dont like you. the catholic church has blamed women for everything for all time. didnt a woman get adam to eat the forbidden fruit? wasnt mary magdalene a whore? i guess adam was the first guy to be lead around by his dick. no wonder priests like altar BOYS......they cant stand women. intelligent design is neither intelligent or a design. its the middle fuckin ages is what it is. believe in an invisible man in the sky who will send you down to hell if your bad? how stupid are people? you want to see god look around you. look at nature. animals that can evolve. now thats godly. people that say " i didnt come from no ape" are right. they arent near as evolved as an ape. apes would be offended if those assholes came from them.

so go ahead, label me. i'm an agnostic, a liberal, a peacenik, oh hell, the list goes on and on BUT i'm a thinker. i'll use the brain that god allowed me to evolve to acheive a higher learning. remember, hitler was a devout christian who was put into power by a democratic election.

i rant therefore, i am. go on and enjoy your monday

Friday, October 21, 2005

Everybodies living for the weekend........

in saint louis a woman was found dead stuck in a window she was trying to crawl through. at first you might think what a shame but then you ask why was she crawling through. she was trying to rob the home. the karma wheel is spinning freely on this one. that is a classic. the police would not give out her name...that would be too embarrassing but they did report that her pants came off in her struggle. way to go boys.

a brdgeport conneticut second grader is the most popular kid in his class....maybe in the whole school district. during a field trip to yale's peabody museum of natural history he brought a treat for the whole class......more than a dozen bags of marijuana. his uncle, the owner of said marijuana, is now the most popular guy in the conneticut penal system. the uncle was charged with possesion with intent to sell (duh!) among other charges. as the old commercials used to say...why do you think they call it dope.

in saint petersburg florida a 93 year old man hit a pedestrian causing said pedestrian to lodge in his windshield. he then drove 3 miles with the pedestrian stuck in his windshield. the pedestrians leg was found at the scene but the driver wasnt stopped until he hit a toll booth with the body sticking out of the windshield. the driver said he thought the body .......survey says.......fell from the sky. is there any good reason why this guy should be allowed to drive....any? pull his license and put him into a home right now.

alright kids the drinking lamp is lit.

Thursday, October 20, 2005

Thursdays thoughts...........

i heard the some of the most wonderful news last night. no, you assholes, i didnt win the powerball so dont start asking for money. no, the news was that an arrest warrant was issued for tom delay. it requires him to appear for booking on state conspiracy and money laundering charges. this is wonderful news now if only i can hear that with karl roves name on the warrant i would be even more happy.

in pittsburgh the women hospital hired a funeral director to dipsose of the fetuses that the (i dont know how to say this) accumulated during the course of a day. see this guy (mr winston) was supposed to pick them up and cremate the remains. instead mr winston stacked boxes of the remains in his garage from 1999 through 2002. he was arrested and held ,after the remains were found, for abuse of a corpse. his lawyer says that he is.....survey says........not guilty. i usually dont follow cases like this but i just have to see how his lawyer spins this one. the remains were found stacked in boxes in his garage.......what else do we need to know.

a leading animal welfare group is opposed to a new toy on the market. apparently its a chicken toy the squawks and flaps its wings while you choke it. they are saying it sends the wrong message to children....and they are right. i've been chokin my chicken for years and its never squawked or flapped its wings at me. thats right, you heard me, kids keep chokin your chicken. its one of the few toys a young boy can count on to last most of his life, giving him years of pleasure. when the young girls get older it will be fun for them too.

ok, one more day before party time.

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

Mid-week news..............

william kersey should get a less than father of the year award. seems this michigan city man reported his car missing but he didnt mention that his 4 MONTH OLD SON was in the car when it was taken. the car was found around 11pm sunday and mr kersey called in the report 2 hours later. who wants to bet that mr kersey was smokin a wee bit o crack and forgot where the car was. dad had to wait until he came down from his high before he called the cops.

in wausau friday morning an old guy crashed his car into the downtown burger king then cvalmly got out and ordered food. you think this would have shut down the know......having extensive damage to the entrance of your restaraunt, but not burger king. no, they actually served the man and continued to serve customers. the man was found sitting at a table eating by the police. i have said it before and i will say it again......the elderly should be tested yearly to get a drivers license.

ok kids i have alot to do today. we'll talk more tomorrow.

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

Its tuesday, and i'm struggling.............

not feeling well today.....and these stories arent making me feel any better.

in ravenna ohio nelson wright is a youth minister with the lighthouse community church. hes doing what he believes is gods work, well actually, you might think that....i'm not so sure nelson feels that way. massilon police arrested nelson on two felony counts of soliciting sex from an underage teen online. the teenage girl was actually an undercover police officer. i'm sure nelson has had better days. what a stunning example for christianity he is. you wonder how many kids he has abused before he got caught. heres hoping that hell has a special room set aside for nelson.

in another example of someone who should be given a lethal injection immediately a denver hospice worker pleaded guilty to sexually assaulting a blind, deaf and nearly comatose 10 YEAR OLD GIRL.......with a teerminal illness. as if life hasnt kicked this kids ass hard enough this sick bastard has to go for the kill shot. james philpott, 55, said he had sex with the girl because he wanted her to experience pleasure before she died. seems to me like james wanted to experience pleasure before she died. her parents ought to get ten minutes in a room with james....see how much pleasure he gets from that. he was also charged with assaulting an 89 year old woman at the hospice but those charges were dropped because she suffers from dementia and wasnt sure she had been assaulted. be nice to your kids ....they decide your hospice.

and if those werent an affront to your senses a wisconsin man is in jail for using an electric dog collar on his 8 year old daughter because.......survey said.......she was eating breakfast too slow. he set the intensity on 4 but threatened to turn it up to 6 if she didnt eat quicker. he denied using it at first but then admitted to using it to "calm her down". mom threatened to wake dad up and when she didnt eat faster she did. mom hasnt been arrested but hte child is living with relatives. now who wants to argue against sterilization with this couple.

lets just get through tuesday.

Monday, October 17, 2005

Monday, monday...cant trust that day.............

how backward is the state that gave us our president? jose escalante was arrested by houston police because of what he rang up in a store. see, jose works at the adult video megaplex and the store he works at sells some sex toys (ie: vibrators). seems vice officers arrested jose and seized some of the toys. they charged jose with obscenity because he was "in possesion of adult toys with the intent to promote and sell them". his attorney said that the charges are ridiculous because "hes simplt a clerk at the store and the vice cops went in and arrested a clerk for possesion. its absurd". dont count on that mr attorney. i think jose has at least a 50/50 chance of going to jail. what the hell do they think is being sold at the adult video megaplex. what a ridiculous group of laws.

jim bob duggar is 40. his wife, michele, is 39. the just had a little baby girl. what a blessing. as a matter of fact its their 16th blessing and shes thinking of doing it again. in a case of selfish overpopulation they want to have more children. "we both just love children and we consider each a blessing from the lord. i have asked michele if she wants more and she said yes. if the lord wants to give us some she will accept them". what do you expect from someone named jim bob? her vagina must look like the lincoln tunnel by now. who would have guessed they would be crazy religious?

a substitute teacher in lake county was terminated and banned from teaching. not for he usual stuff i report like sleeping with students and such. no, this idiot ripped out a students insulin pump because he thought it was a ringing cell phone. the pump was able to be reinstalled unlike richard maline's career. somehow i think the mr maline will not be getting the florida substitute teacher of the year award.

ok, lets get monday off to a great.......oh , who am i kidding.....lets just try to get through it

Friday, October 14, 2005

Fridays news.............

in a stunning case of irony we come across ashley smith. she was the young lady who was taken hostage when brian nichols shot his way out of the courthouse in atlanta. nichols , who killed four people, took her hostage in her apartment after his rampage. her story made national news because she got him to surrender by talking to god and reading passages from the book "the purpose driven life". as paul harvey would say "and now for the rest of the story". seemd aour saintly young lady was a meth addict and got him to surrender by giving him her supply of crystal meth. she admits she used the drug before she was taken hostage. she prepared the drug for him so he could snort it. ms smith received an award of 70k for her role in this. she says she no longer takes drugs. i'd love to know how much of that 70k is left? sure give the meth addict 70k...why not give nichols a lifetime nra membership while your at it. shes writing a book now about this and i can only hope its titled the drug driven life.

chris wilson is a former police officer. he also runs a website by the name of yes chris shows some pornongraphic pictures on that site but by no means is it even close to being the worst site on the net. not even in the top thousand. not with site with guys peeing on women and girls shitting on surfboards. he also shows something else....he is allowing u.s. soldiers to post pictures of war dead on his site. he has been arrested on obsenity charges. over 300 charges to be exact including distribution of obscene material, offering to distribute obscene material and possession of obscene material with intent to distribute. the police refered to it as "it is the most horrific, vile, perverted sexual is as vile, as perverted, as non normal sexual conduct-which rises to the level of obscenity-as we have ever investigated". think the administration doesnt like these pictures out there? doesnt bush have a brother whos a higher up in the florida government? think the police in florida havent seen that many porn sites? doesnt this sound like chris is getting railroaded? an islamic civil rights group is demanding that the army take legal action against chris. they think it will harm our nations image, particularly in the islamic know.....that place where they hate americans. tough shit muslims. welcome to democracy. its more important that this war be seen than protect some dead muslims while our government tries to hide the war. war should be shown. war is horrific. its the only way people will ever learn that war isnt a good thing regardless of what our government tells us. if you care to make a donation to his defense please go to
by the way he was arrested in a state where on october 1st a law went into effect giving the people of florida the right to use deadly force as a first resort when they feel threatened...even in a public place. welcome to the wild west.

in san antonio a 14 year old boy was arrested tuesday for stabbing his father because.....survey says......he got angry because his father woke him to go to school. someones cranky. i'd cut back his allowance thats for sure. it would be awhile before he got behind the wheel of my car. how long do you ground a kid for that little stunt?
along that same line a 15 year old boy was in serious condition in louisiana after being shot by a 19 year old who mistook him for......survey says......a wild hog. what the worst part of this for the kid? being shot OR being mistaken for a hog? damn, whats that kid eat. hes lucky he didnt get his snout or curly tail shot off.

well kids i'm off to enjoy the weekend....after i do my time here.

Thursday, October 13, 2005

Its thursday everywhere but in my mind.......

anna wintour, editor in chief of vogue, has had her picture plastered all over the net being pied by peta fanatics. now i have no particular love of anna wintour (frankly if it werent for gettting pied i wouldnt know her at all) or vogue but i do have a hate for the cowards of peta. used to be they just hung around new york throwing red paint on old jewish women wearing fur coats. what a cowardly group. i would love to catch one and give him/her a good old fashioned beat down. i'd beat them like a baby harp seal during fur season. my only hope is that anna wintour went home, skinned a rare mink and used its fur to wipe her face.

last weekend some churches were having what they call "porn sunday". i first i thought "wow, no need to talk to me, your preaching to the choir" but alas it wasnt as advertised. their idea was to get the topic out that porno hurts realtionships with god and spouses. they think distorts peoples view of sex. now i was giving this some thought while i was anally raping my llama while my wife was stirring the bathtub full of lemon flavored jello with a 10" jelly dildo and i came to the conclusion that it hasnt affected me at all. it actually helped me somewhat. we had a masturbating contest in my neighborhood ands i finished first and third. so much for porn sunday.

some stories just get pushed under the rug and some need to be delved into. this one has a little of both. carnival cruise lines was one of the remedies that was being undertaken in the relief of the people of new orleans. i'm sure you thought, as i did, that carnival was doing the right thing and helping at a bit of a loss, like any good american would. you would think that....and you would be wrong. at over $1200 per resident per week the government is giving them over double what carnival gets for a week long caribbean cruise not to mention the other intangibles that are sure to have the carnival board of directors laughing all the way to the bank. no need to market the cruise line for three months, no need to pay port landing fees. the ability to cut back on staffing. no need to worry about the highest fuel costs in american history...for three months. is it necessary to point out that profiteering used to be illegal in wartime. the government should have demanded better. carnival should have offered more for less. its disgusting

only one more day guys and then........friday

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

I have found a side job........................

yesterday i wanted to prove just how ridiculous organized religion is so in a stunning turn of eventsi became an ordained minister online. thats right all you atheists and agnostics your old friend shoes is now a reverend shoes in the universal life church. i can pick a title for myself and i have narrowed it down to these choices.....
3.most reverend
5.universal philosopher of absolute reality
please let me know the one you prefer. i think i'll pick my title based on the vote of the people. just imagine..... a democratic religion. who'd have guessed. i havent decided what to base my ministry on yet but the thought occurred to me that hell could really be different than you might think. what if hell was only mildly annoying. for example: hell has ok restaurants but they only serve rc cola and mr pibb and all the liquor is watered down. or the homes are ok but all you have is flourescent lighting....and it hums......loudly. or everyone gets a computer but all you have is dial up. sure you have a shower but the water pressure is really low. you can get cigarettes but no menthols...and the matches are damp. you get a car but its used and it only has an am radio. now tell me that doesnt make you want to live a sin free life. i think the thoughts of a fiery hell scares some but a hell that runs like the dmv terrifies me. my god is a little different too. hes less fire and brimstone and more like.......ward cleaver. you fuck up and he just gives you a stern reprimand , then a hug a sends you on your way once you promise not to fuck up again. i'm cutting out the whole confession thing too. i'll hear yours if you want but it better be good and hot chicks get spanked if they are very bad. now i will steal the whole communion thing from the catholics but that little wafer will taste suprising like a thin mint cookie....or maybe one of those andies candies mints. i'll keep the wine too but you will be able to get a shot if you desire. this migt be the most fun thing i have ever done. i cant wait to do my first wedding.

its wednesday my children.....pass the collection plate along with the bottle.

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

Sports tuesday...........

well i guess the steelers showed them something last night. i was so tired of everyone giving this game to the chargers. all i heard was this team could be four and oh. this team scored forty points in each of its last two games. the steelers have no answer for tomlinson and gates. yeah , they could be 4-0.....but the aint. they're 2-2. i guess two other teams had figured them out. hey, tomlinson is a great back........but he aint jim brown. you'd think he would have had a cape with a red s on it. so the steelers overcame and won a hard game on the road despite some of the worst officiating ever. i thought for sure the steelers were going to be homered there. i cant wait until we play cincinnati.

on the other front isnt it great that the two teams with the highest payrols in baseball were dumped in the first round. hey boston, you had your one year. now go back to being the lovable losers. i hope its ninety years before you win another championship. as for the yanks.....HA. congrats on buying randy johnson two years late. mvp a-rod really comes through in the clutch for you guys. i guess 26 million doesnt get you what it used to. thats right a-rod pulls down 26 mil to not hit in the post season. do the math.....every two wekks he gets 1 million dollars. three yanks drove in over 100 runs during the regular season.........they had 3 rbi's combined in this series. nice job guys.

the only thing left now is for st.louis to fall apart in the series. they seem to have a history of that.

last but not least. in leesburg florida the city is investigating accusations that a youth football coach jeff bennett created a hit list and ordered his players to hurt them at a recent game. in the game on october 3rd one of his players intentionally tripped an 11 year old from the other team after he scored a touchdown.....shattering his wrist. bennett denies the accusations. of course he did, what else could he do. should he explain how he lives vicariously through his child? that all his unrealized dreams from his youth are now hoisted upon his sons shoulders? that his need to win outweighs his need to teach young children sportsmanship. i see this in the athletic association my son plays in now. guys who didnt make the team or played small college ball but just werent good enough are teaching their children to be bullies. the only redeeming thing to it all is that almost every one of those fathers makes no money, lives in a shitty home and is married to some fat, loudmouthed loser. by the way all youth football games in leesburg have been cancelled while the city investigates the allegations.

let just try to get through tueday .....ok?

Monday, October 10, 2005

Cronyism at its finest.......

the more i learn about harriet miers the less i like her. could there possibly be a less qualified candidate put up for supreme court justice ever? she has never set on the bench....anywhere.......EVER. she was quoted as saying that dubya was the smartest man she ever knew. her biggest job (after heading up the dubya fan club) was commissioner of the texas lottery (which i'm sure she wasnt qualified for either). now karl rove is assuring conservatives that she'll vote the way they want her to. isnt it about time that karl rove is called out for the treasonist bastard that he is? makes you wonder whos running this country. you can see karl telling dubya to nominate her because she'll vote like we want. can anyone possibly tell me (with a straight face) that shes the most qualified person in america. arlen specter heads the senate judiciary committee and he says to give her a chance. spoken like a true republican arlen. theres another schmuck that pennsylvania needs to vote out. i sure hope this blows up in the republicans faces and they sart fighting amongst themselves. a republican meltdown would do my heart good.

and in the administrations initiative that "no oilman be left behind" a bill was passed to give money to the oil companies so that they can build more refineries. regardless that the oil companies have made profit this year like never before in history we will give them more money. of course this administration would never put any real money into finding alternative fuel sources....that goes against their oil buddies. i guess we dont need to wonder whos running this country anymore.

its monday....wake up bright eyes.