Monday, December 18, 2006

The closet is emptying.......

In a tearful videotaped message Sunday to his congregation, the senior pastor of a thriving evangelical megachurch in south metro Denver confessed to sexual relations with other men and announced he had voluntarily resigned his pulpit.
A month ago, the Rev. Paul Barnes of Grace Chapel in Doug las County preached to his 2,100-member congregation about integrity and grace in the aftermath of the Ted Haggard drugs-and-gay-sex scandal.
Now, the 54-year-old Barnes joins Haggard as a fallen evangelical minister who preached that homosexuality was a sin but grappled with a hidden life. "I
The second evangelical church leader has stepped down in as many months. i have struggled with homosexuality since I was a 5-year-old boy," Barnes said in the 32- minute video, which church leaders permitted The Denver Post to view. "... I can't tell you the number of nights I have cried myself to sleep, begging God to take this away." Sitting cross-legged in jeans and an open-collar shirt, Barnes spoke in his video about evolving feelings growing up in a firm moral family: from confused little boy to adolescent racked with self-loathing and guilt.
In their only talk about sex, Barnes said his father took him on a drive and talked about what he would do if a "fag" approached him.
Barnes thought, "'Is that how you'd feel about me?' It was like a knife in my heart, and it made me feel even more closed." Barnes expressed hope for a future where one can "be who you are" and be accepted and loved in the Christian community and also spoke about "separating some of the teachings from Scripture" from Jesus Christ.
Palmer said he wasn't sure what Barnes meant, but Barnes told him that he believes God views homosexuality as a sin.

wow any more preachers come out of the closet and they will outnumber gay congressmen. i'm sure he preached the sins of gayiety from the pulpit. oh to be a self loathing gay man of the cloth. instead reverend shoes has chosen to be a self loathing straight man of the cloth. he struggles since he was 5? hhmmmmm. could this mean he was BORN gay? that god MADE him that way? sure his dad badmouthed gays but that was after he realized that he was. he was raised in a moral home. what could have turned him? nothing , he was born that way. nice to know his parents wouldnt accept him and from the comments his friends at the church wont either. i guess when he turned the other cheek he shouldnt have used those cheeks. i guess that whole praying to god to help you doesnt work. if a preacher like this cant get a message through then what hope does anyone else have. maybe god was really busy on those days this being the xmas season and all. maybe he should try humming a hymn.....oh, thats right...humming is what got him in trouble in the first place.

happy monday everyone. a week from now we will all be opening gifts. for now, back to work.

Friday, December 15, 2006


A PRIMARY school sacked a woman teacher for telling heartbroken nine-year-olds there is no Father Christmas.
Parents were furious when tearful youngsters went home saying they had also been taught elves and fairies did not exist either.
The supply teacher, in her 30s, had her contract terminated after complaints to the head. Mum Amanda Piovesana, 30, said her daughter was shocked to be told: “You are old enough to know there is no Santa or fairies. If you ask your parents they will also say there is no such thing.”

i know everyone. i just found out. how long was everyone going to let me go on believing. say it aint so santa, say it aint so. i still believe (unless i dont get the playstation 3 i asked for). and whos lap have i been sitting on all these years. i just thought santa smelled like jack daniels and hot dogs (my mom did).
ok, i quit believing the day i came home from school in the second grade. there i am walking down the alley sing rudolph the red nosed reindeer when i turn into my yard and lo and behold there were three deer hanging there....gutted. seems my dad and brothers were hunting that day and ...well.....sometimes rudolph needs to be whacked. sure the venison was tasty but i still couldnt get a straight answer on how santas sled was going to be pulled. thats when my brother scott told me the truth. guess what? it wasnt a trauma. all it really did was get me to stop pestering santa for gifts ..and started pestering my poor father. i think he was more mad at my brother for sicking me on him than he was about "ruining the magic" so to speak.
ok, all that being said this teacher should be fired. its not her job to break the news. that job goes to disgruntled parent or a pissed off sibling though i do wonder if those parents are mad at her for the same reason my brother got grounded.

by the way elves and fairies are real.

Thursday, December 14, 2006

I didnt know he was lost.......

CHICAGO, Dec 11 (Reuters Life!) - He murdered 17 young men and boys in a sexually driven orgy of necrophilia and cannibalism. Then, in prison, Jeffrey Dahmer found God.
Now the minister who presided over his jailhouse baptism and conversion says Dahmer's 1994 beating death at the hands of a fellow inmate while serving multiple life sentences cut short a faith-spreading mission Dahmer would have carried to others behind bars had he lived.
"He was growing (in faith) and he would have been a great influence on other inmates. He would have had a tremendous impact," said the Rev. Roy Ratcliff, a Church of Christ minister who baptized Dahmer in a prison whirlpool tub in May 1994. The baptism took place about five months before Dahmer and another inmate were killed at the Columbia Correctional Institution in Wisconsin by a third prisoner who clubbed them to death while they were on a bathroom cleaning detail.He didn't see himself as being hated by other inmates the way he was hated in the world."

wow, he couldnt have been more wrong about that last sentence. apparently he wasnt very good at reading people. evangelizing, yes...reading people, not so much. why is it that everyone who finds god only finds him when no one else will reach out a hand for them. you never see a internet millionaire or a playboy bunny or an actor (not counting l ron hubbard as a god) find god while they are popular. no its only after they have fallen on bad times, used up all the good will of family and friends and are one step from the gutter that they find god. hell, i didnt even know he was missing. i bet all those guys he killed and ate wished he had found god before he did that. where was god then. he might actually have been good at evangelizing but i guess he wasnt as good at cleaning bathrooms. had he been better at that he might be alive today. he was baptized in a prison whirlpool? i knew a guy who baptized strippers in a hottub. some of the strippers said they saw god and he said that more than one yelled his name over and over. "oh god , oh god" could be heard echoing from his hottub on many a night. he was a man of god. in defense of dahmer though, the rev. roy radcliffe said he never saw anyone so anxious to take communion......something about the body of christ is my guess.
born again? thank god i was born right the first time.

a funny little story to make your holdays better. now get to work.

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

I been tagged.......

as i have been tagged by maricopa mark i will post this picture of my devilishly handsome self. mark had mentioned in his blog that it would be nice if people posted a picture of themselves so that you could put a face to the blog (also in the event you wanted to hunt them down for a dont want to beat down the wrong person). great idea mark so here i am. i am the handsome lad on the right.

for those who would like to know more about the brilliant mind behind this idea look at the bottom here and click on maricopa mark...its good reading.

Muslim stupidity on parade..........

KARACHI, Pakistan Dec 11, 2006 (AP)— More than 20,000 supporters of an Islamic alliance rallied Sunday, demanding the government withdraw changes to a controversial rape statute that they say go against Islam. Musharraf last week signed into law some amendments to the Hudood Ordinance, a 1979 law against rape that human rights activists said punished rape victims while providing legal safeguards for their attackers.
The ordinance required a rape victim to produce four witnesses in court to prove her assault claim. Under the new amendment, judges can choose whether a rape case should be tried in a criminal court where the four-witness rule does not apply or under the Islamic ordinance.
The new law also drops the death penalty for sex outside of marriage. The offense now would be punishable with five years in prison or a fine of $165. Human rights groups have hailed the amendments but Muslim groups claim the changes go against Islam. Opposition Islamic groups have held a series of protests against the new law since it was passed by Parliament last month.

i know that rape is no laughing matter (unless your raping a clown) but this story got to make you laugh. if this doesnt make you laugh at the islamic faith then nothing else will. what this boils down to is that these people are protesting to regain their right to rape women. bottom line thats all it is. i'll debate any muslim on this . i dont think i would rape someone in front of four witnesses unless i could count on them to back my story. about dropping the death penalty for sex outside marriage...well , do you realize how many camels would be killed each year. $165 or five years in jail? that amounts to $33 per year. can you pay $99 and go to jail for two years? no wonder these countries arent third world....they're fourth world. all the women should just get up and leave. imagine a country full of just men. gayiety would ensue for sure. you think they're pissed off now? imagine the possibilities then. the best thing the united states could do is give them free internet. nobody has a jihad when they can rub one out to good old red, white and blue american porn. it is the one thing we do better than anyone (including the japs and germans). we may not be able to build a really good car anymore but we will always have that.

11 shopping days to xmas. get to work. the economy needs your cash.

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Justice peeked from beneath the blindfold....

BALTIMORE -- A Kansas church has been ordered to pay $3,150 for costs and fees associated with a summons and complaint filed by the father of a Marine whose funeral was picketed by the extremist group.
Albert Snyder, of York, Pa., is suing the Rev. Fred Phelps and Westboro Baptist Church after church members demonstrated at the funeral of Lance Cpl. Matthew Snyder, of Westminster, and posted pictures of the protest on their Web site.
Lance Snyder was killed in Iraq in March. Members of the Topeka church claim U.S. soldiers are killed as God's punishment for America's tolerance of homosexuality.His father's federal lawsuit, filed June 5, alleges church members violated the family's right to privacy and defamed the Marine and his family at the funeral and on the church's Web site.
Phelps and the church refused to grant a waiver in the serving of summonses in connection with the federal lawsuit, making the church liable for those costs.
Court documents say the church has 30 days to make the payment to Snyder.

if this doesnt make you feel good then nothing will. dont get me wrong i wouldnt mind seeing someone punch the living shit out of one of the phelps family but it wouldnt do any good. a punch to the wallet will be what stops this insane family. if this is the kind of people god would want in heaven then hell looks better every day. i can only hope god in his infinite wisdom calls the whole congregation to him soon. wow i would hate to be in line at the pearly gates behind these asswipes. please do not make the payments in 30 days. please throw fred phelps in federal prison. wow. that couldnt be better

a little extra smile in your day.

Monday, December 11, 2006

This sounds just right........

JONESBORO, Ga. -- A middle school security officer used a Taser on a sixth-grade boy to break up his fight with a girl Wednesday, school officials said.
Officials said the 11-year-old shocked twice with the device at Jonesboro Middle School weighs 200 pounds and refused to obey orders to stop attacking the girl, also 11, and the Taser was used as a last resort to prevent her from being seriously injured.
The two had been taken to the office to resolve an argument that started during lunch and spilled into a classroom.
"The male student literally jumped on the girl and started hitting her about the face and head," school district spokesman Charles White said. "He did not comply with directions to stop, and physical efforts to pull him off the girl were unsuccessful."
Both students were treated for injuries, none of them serious, White said. The boy was charged with assault and battery and was taken to a juvenile detention center, and later was released to the custody of his mother.
The officer is a city of Jonesboro police officer who carries the standard equipment of a pistol and a Taser, according to Jonesboro Police Sgt. Brad Johnson.

a 200 lb 11 year old. tasered? what happened to the old days when you would just beat him with a night stick. i long for those days. i guess making him write something 100 times is out of the question now. thank god the nuns were not allowed to use tasers when i was in school. those sadistic nuns would have run up one hell of an electric bill on me. i wonder when his parents will sue the school and police over their "out of control" child getting zapped. thank god someone was there because the little girl he was beating probably stood no chance against this animal. let him be home schooled. if it was my daughter i would be kicking the shit out of an 11 year old as we speak.

December 1, 2006 -- Long Island cops got a real high when a man phoned because his pot had been pilfered.
Suffolk Detective Sgt. Darrell Dabe said officers responded to the man's Bellport home on Wednesday to investigate a robbery report.
Michael Omelchunk, 27, vanished when the cops arrived but returned to say armed thugs had "made off with most of" his weed, authorities said.
"He admitted he was packaging the marijuana when the men with guns came in," Dabe said.
The crooks left with their arms full - but they left behind 71/2 pounds of the stash.
"The place reeked of it," Dabe said.
Omelchunk was busted and charged with drug possession

sure, smoking dope doesnt affect your judgement at all. i wonder if your homeowners will cover the loss of dope. how much would you be laughing if you were the cop who got this call. at least the cops can say an arrest was made on this case. and what self respecting drug dealer calls the police...use a machine gun like every other good drug dealer does. god helps those who help themselves. this just shows that smoking dope makes you lazy too. theres nothing i hate more than a lazy, cowardly drug dealer.

A man has been arrested after allegedly trying to force his estranged wife into an oven on Thanksgiving in front of their five children.
Martin Luther Jackson, 31, of Decatur, has been charged with aggravated assault, aggravated battery, cruelty to children and possession of marijuana after the Nov. 23 incident, said Sgt. Jodi Shupe of the Rockdale County Sheriff's Office.
Jackson and his 29-year-old wife, who have been separated since July, have five children ranging in age from 1 to 13 years old, Shupe said. Jackson apparently started fighting with his wife after she and the children returned to their Conyers home on Thanksgiving.
At one point during the fight, Jackson allegedly attempted to stuff his wife inside the kitchen oven, which had been left on to heat the house, Shupe said. The woman escaped and went to the sheriff's office with visible head injuries, Shupe said.
Investigators found Jackson hiding under a bed at his mother's house in Decatur, where he had been living since the separation, Shupe said.

who hasnt wanted to shove their wife into an oven over the holidays. maybe he was just trying to show her the self cleaning feature of the oven or how easily the racks slide in and out. maybe after smoking some dope he got hungry and she reminded him of a ham....a screaming , kicking ham. and what a way to impress the children. i'm sure the father of the year people will be wanting to speak to him .......right after the state is done with him. and again, what self respecting criminal runs home to mommy. i'd rather get caught in a whorehouse than hiding under my old bed at mommies house. you know mommy never took down the posters and little league trophies from his childhood. hes going to do well in the joint.

well kids hope your monday is going well. mine isnt but thats not your problem. now get to work

Thursday, December 07, 2006

Stupid is as stupid does......

SCOTTSDALE - A gunman who allegedly held up a bank was arrested minutes into his getaway attempt after he unwittingly tried to drive into Scottsdale police headquarters.Randall Todd Wagner is suspected of handing a demand note to a teller at Bank of America, 3123 N. Scottsdale Road around 10 a.m., shortly before fleeing onto Indian School Road,police said. Wagner, 39, was arrested after he momentarily tried to turn his Ford Taurus into Scottsdale's Witzeman Public Safety Building, at Indian School and Granite Reef roads - a building swarming with uniformed police and fire personnel for a public dedication ceremony.
Wagner was pulled over near Indian School and 87th Place, two blocks from headquarters, by Scottsdale police Lt. Steve Yturralde."The guy looked like he was going to turn into the ceremony, and I think he changed his mind," Scottsdale police Sgt. Mark Clark said.It took less than 10 minutes to find and catch Wagner, Clark said. He was taken into custody without incident. A handgun and cash were found inside the Taurus."He knew he was caught," Clark said. "He made the smart decision and just gave up."

he made a smart decision? must of been his first that day. apparently it not like the movies where the criminal plans out every step of the heist, taking into account any variables, then pulls it off without a hitch. he wont be in oceans 13 if you get my drift but he will have a really funny story to tell in prison during the almost continuous anal rapes.

BARBERTON, Ohio -- A Barberton man with 18 DUI convictions could be on his way to becoming Ohio's worst drunken driving offender.
NewsChannel5's Jonathan Costen reported that the number of convictions against 51-year-old Jess Brown could go up with pending cases in Akron and Barberton.Brown was arraigned Wednesday on charges stemming from the collision in Barberton.Police said Brown was drunk at the time of the collision. In fact, authorities said that if he's convicted on the Akron case, a Barberton DUI would make 20 convictions, a state record.
Barberton Police Chief Michael Kallai said Brown simply has no regard for others.Brown is being held on a $50,000 bond. His next hearing is set for December.
Kallai said he suspects that once a judge sees Brown's record, he will be kept in jail for a long time.

lets see what record do i want to set. you think as a small boy this was his dream. i'm sure its a proud moment for his family. see and you thought jess would never accomplish anything. he showed them. lock him up and throw away the key. only through incredibly dumd luck haas he not killed anyone ....yet. i guess he will need to wipe out a family before hes put away.

LORAIN, Ohio (AP) - A former Roman Catholic school principal accused of kissing three male students' feet has pleaded not guilty to misdemeanour charges of sexual imposition.
Robert Holloway, the former principal at St. Anthony of Padua School in Lorain, entered the plea Monday. He also pleaded not guilty to charges of unauthorized use of public property.
Police Sgt. Mark Carpentiere said foot fetish material was found on two school computers seized from Holloway's office, despite the educator's claims he did not have a foot fetish.
Holloway, 50, resigned as principal in the spring after the 14-year-old students and their parents reported the foot-kissing to police.
The principal told authorities that the kissing was pay-up for a bet over a student-teacher volleyball game. He paid each student $15 and kissed their feet 50 times in the school's library and gym.
Holloway's lawyer, Carmen Roberto, would not allow his client to speak to reporters after the hearing.

what was the bet. how many times he could blow a 14 year old? and he lost? is this something you want out in public . shouldnt he just do the honorable thing and kill himself. and what kind of kid would let the principal kiss his feet 50 times. ok, sure i would have let some principal/teacher kiss my feet just to humiliate them but 50 times.....i dont think so. and you just know tongue was involved. in defense of the students i'm sure the $15 went towards the keg party that weekend.

some funnies to get you through thursday...i know i need it. now get to work.

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

And i only thought it would make you go blind.....

BEIJING (Reuters) - A 14-year old Chinese boy killed himself after running up a bill of 1,800 yuan ($230) calling phone sex numbers, the official Xinhua news agency said on Saturday. Li Hongbin, from a village in poor northwestern Gansu province, dropped out of school last year and began calling the expensive hotlines in August.
He committed suicide by drinking pesticide after a telephone company clerk called at the family home asking for payment.
The longest conversation listed in a 16-page phone bill went on for over four hours, Xinhua said.
Calls cost three yuan a minute, Xinhua cited the head of one service as saying. The average monthly cash income of Chinese farmers is just 300 yuan.
Phone sex services have been proliferating in recent years, with adverts in local telephone directories and newspapers, but Beijing is also attempting to crack down on pornography with a campaign that includes monitoring phone sex lines.

a woman that works with me had a son that ran up $900 in phone sex charges......on her credit card. she defended him saying that he wouldnt do that. the correct answer is "sure he would". ladies just assume that when your not around we are masturbating. its one of the few things we dont have to look our best to do. if god didnt want you to masturbate he would have made a computer mouse that needed to be used with two hands. its what we , as men, do best. and dont pretend you ladies dont do it either. i've seen the ads where the woman is holding this vibrator to her shoulder trying in vain to convince us that shes using it on her shoulder. yeah right. i'm not falling for it. that thing is shaped like a penis for one go where a penis should go. you virgins can think of it as captain kirk (you'll get that one soon or have someone explain it to you). is a $230 bill reason enough to kill yourself. in a sure your ashamed of it (by it i mean getting caught, not the act) but you'll get over it. so will the folks. kick them your next paycheck and get on the internet like everyone else. internet access is cheaper than the phone sex service that kid was using.

well kids i need to run. i;m going to call my answering machine and leave a filthy message for myself. the rest of you....get to work.

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

Does anyone have a goddamn comb......

TMZ has learned that actor Rip Torn was arrested in North Salem, New York and charged with Driving While Intoxicated (DWI).We're told Torn, who is 75-years-old, refused to cooperate with the cops and would not submit to a blood-alcohol test.Torn, who has starred in numerous movies including "Men in Black" and "Dodgeball," was arrested after his car was involved in an accident and police were called. At the time of publication, Torn was still in police custody.In January, 2004, Torn was arrested in New York City after crashing his car into a taxi, and charged with DWI. Even though Torn launched into an epic and vulgar rant at the police station, the actor was found not guilty. His lawyers were Judge Judy's two sons.
cant the police just hook these guys up with a comb before the mug shot. is the goal here to make as an embarrassing photo as possible. i've gone out drinking and have come home in some horrible shape and i have never looked like this. he looks like a drunken irish pirate. all he needs is an eyepatch and a hook for a hand. and dont think the chicks fare any better. you would think the cops would want the photo to come out nice before sending right to tmz or one of the other celeb sites that must pay the cops for these wonderful shots. buy a comb. let these guys use the bathroom. whatever it takes. isnt it bad enough to get arrested and have your mugshot all over the net.
ok, i admit it, i love these shots......thank you rip, glen campbell....etc, etc, etc

Why not me.......

LOS ANGELES - The nation's largest Roman Catholic archdiocese said Friday it will pay $60 million to settle 45 sex abuse lawsuits, the largest payout yet by the Archdiocese of Los Angeles and among the biggest resulting from the molestation crisis that's plagued the church. The cases were among more than 500 abuse claims pending against the Los Angeles Archdiocese.
The claims settled Friday involve 22 priests and include allegations from two periods when the archdiocese had limited or no insurance against sexual abuse claims — prior to the mid-1950s and after 1987.
Mahony said $40 million of the payment would come from the archdiocese, while $20 million would be from religious orders plus a small amount of independent insurance coverage.
Friday's settlement was the largest in California since 2004, when the Diocese of Orange agreed to spend $100 million to settle 90 abuse claims. It was also the fourth-largest in the nation since the clergy abuse crisis erupted in the Archdiocese of Boston in 2002, according to an AP review of settlements.

why couldnt i have cashed in on this payday? was i so hideous as a child? didnt they like me at all? i was always dressed nice, combed hair.........why couldnt i have been taken advantage of. i wouldnt have liked it then but the payoff now is sweet. i have a dream that the catholic church will have to start selling things to pay for all these lawsuits. alot of people think this is due to the fact that priests cant marry but as you will read below this isnt always the case. if only the church wouldnt have hid this problem. if they would have taken the first priest and threw him to the wolves then alot of other priests wouldnt have pulled out the willies for the to speak.


A Maryland rabbi caught in a television sting operation was sentenced to 6 1/2 years in prison yesterday for trying to solicit sex from a 13-year-old boy over the Internet.
David A. Kaye, 56, told the judge that he traveled to Herndon for what he thought would be sex with a boy "as a cry out for help to fight my personal demons." Sobbing as he acknowledged his father, who sat in the courtroom in a wheelchair, Kaye said his conviction had made him face "the reality of who I am. . . . I know I need help. I pray that God allows me to get that help."
Kaye's attorney, Peter D. Greenspun, said the rabbi, who was featured last year on the "To Catch a Predator" series on "Dateline NBC," kept his sexuality secret and spent thousands of hours chatting online in search of liaisons.
Kaye thought that he was chatting online with a young adult, Greenspun said. He said Kaye, who is divorced, is in therapy, and he urged a sentence on the low end of federal guidelines, which recommended a term of 63 to 78 months in prison.
"There is a very decent core to this man," Greenspun said.
But U.S. District Judge James C. Cacheris in Alexandria settled on 78 months and said Kaye would then face 10 years of supervised release. The judge said that during that time, Kaye will be forbidden to accept any job involving children, and he ordered him to never be around children younger than 18 without an adult present.

dont think the catholics have a lock on the whole gay/pedophile thing. in defense of the priests never has one been caught on a national tv show. a decent core to this man? i guess he was going to ...very decently...screw a 13 year old boy. i saw this episode and there is no way hes going to make 78 months in the joint. hes an odds on favorite to get shivved in the laundry. guess what dave there arent any 13 year old boys in prison and the guys there dont like men who prey on 13 year old boys. they are going to slice him up for xmas. his best bet is to take a swing at a guard on the very first day and getting thrown into solitary. its his only chance.

only 20 more shopping days til xmas kids. dont spend more than say......$500 on my gift. thats an arbitrary figure by the way

Monday, December 04, 2006

Hittng a little too close to home........

JACKSONVILLE, FL –- The makers of a new video game say its Biblically themed action is designed to stir “’thinking and talking’ about matters of eternal importance.” But opponents on the First Coast say it’s offensive to Christian beliefs.With flashy graphics and intense action, “Left Behind: Eternal Forces” has the hallmarks of a hit video game, but with a Biblical twist. Set just after the Rapture in the Book of Revelation, the game puts you in charge of civilians and soldiers with the Tribulation Force –- an armed group fighting against the army of the Antichrist.That fighting sometimes means killing. And some religious groups are furious.“Christ’s central message has always been one of understanding and love. And for people to use Revelation and misuse Revelation in such a way –- is grotesque,” said Avery Garner, a leader of the Christian Alliance for Progress, a nationwide group based on the First Coast.

this may be the first time christians killed people who deserve it. just kidding had to know its only a game. in real life christians are too busy killing abortion doctors. christians mad about killing? didnt anyone explain the crusades or the inquisition or the holocaust? the bible is just full of murder and rape and......well you get the drift. nobody in the history of mankind (this includes that crazy chap pestilence) has killed more people than christians. the only truly shocking thing in all of this is that they arent attacking gays, women and jews......the holy trinity of hate. how did they get left out. this actually sounds like a cool game. i may have to get it. this should prove to god that i'm on his side. i hope this is my in to heaven.

get on with you day is mondday you know.

Friday, December 01, 2006

Recipe time........

Here's a great Tequila Christmas Cookie recipe that I thought you might want to try this year:

1 cup of water1 tsp. baking soda1 cup of sugar1 tsp. salt1 cup of brown sugarlemon juice4 large eggs1 cup nuts2 cups of dried fruit1 bottle Jose Cuervo Tequilla

Sample the Cuervo to check quality.

Take a large bowl,

check the Cuervoagain, to be sure it is of the highestquality, pour one level cup and drink.

Turn on the electric mixer...Beat onecup of butter in a large fluffy bowl.Add one teaspoon of sugar...Beat again.

At this point it's best to make sure theCuervo is still OK, try another cup ...just in case.

Turn off the mixerer thingy. Break 2leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit, Pick the frigging fruit off floor... Mix on the****. If the fried druit gets stuckin the beaterers just pry it loose witha drewscriver.

Sample the Cuervo tocheck for tonsisticity.

Next, sift two cups of salt, orsomething. Who giveshz a sheet.

Checkthe Jose Cuervo.

Now shift the lemonjuice and strain your nuts. Add one table. Add a spoon of sugar, orsomefink. Whatever you can find. Greashthe oven.Turn the cake tin 360 degreesand try not to fall over. Don't forgetto beat off the ****.

Finally, throwthe bowl through the window, finish theCose Juervo and make sure to put the stove in the dishwasher.


i stole this from another blog. i thought you might enjoy it going into the first weekend in dcember. ok, now back to work