Friday, November 30, 2007

25 great drinking quotes.......


Beer, the cause of and solution to, all life's problems.
Homer Simpson

I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal labotomy.
Tom Waits. Man, he has a way with words.

All right, brain, I don't like you and you don't like me - so let's just do this and I'll get back to killing you with beer.
Homer Simpson

I drink to make other people interesting.
George Jean Nathan.

Work is the curse of the drinking classes
Oscar Wilde. Another master of putting words together in ways that stick true.

I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.
Frank Sinatra

The Smoker You Drink, The Player You Get
Joe Walsh

Not everyone who drinks is a poet. Some of us drink because we're not poets
Arthur, played by Dudley Moore.

Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol.

They talk of my drinking but never my thirst.
Scottish saying.

When I realized that what I had turned out to be was a lousy, two-bit pool hustler and drunk, I wasn't depressed at all. I was glad to have a profession.
Danny McGoorty

Drinking is a way of ending the day.
Earnest Hemingway.

I never eat breakfast on an empty stomach.
WC Fields

An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.
Earnest Hemingway

You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline. It helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer.
Frank Zappa

Beer makes you feel the way you ought to feel without beer.
Henry Lawson

This is one of the disadvantages of wine; it makes a man mistake words for thoughts.
Samuel Johnson

The hard part about being a bartender is figuring out who is drunk and who is just stupid.
Richard Braunstein

I spent a lot of my money on booze, birds, and fast cars. The rest I just squandered.
George Best

There can't be good living where there is not good drinking.
Ben Franklin

They say some of my stars drink whiskey, but I have found that the ones who drink milkshakes don't win many ball games.
Casey Stengel

I'm not a heavy drinker, I can sometimes go for hours without touching a drop.
Noel Coward

Why is there so much wine left at the end of my money?
Milan Maximovich

Do not allow children to mix drinks. It is unseemly and they use too much vermouth.
Steve Allen. Love the glasses!

The trouble with jogging is that the ice falls out of your glass.
Martin Mull

Dr. Robert Cade, Gatorade inventor, dies at 80

Dr. Robert Cade, the lead inventor of Gatorade and a University of Florida professor, died Tuesday morning, his family confirmed. He was 80.

Along with a team of other scientists, Cade created the popular sports drink in 1965. Since that time, Gatorade has become a boon for UF, generating $150 million in royalties for the university and helping to establish UF as a premier research institution.
Dr. Jim Free, who worked under Cade in the creation of Gatorade, said Tuesday that Cade was first and foremost a kind man who made it his mission to spread knowledge.
"His contributions were so multiple that it's just hard to cover them," Free said. "His main contribution is that he was a very nice, decent, generous person, and that he was dedicated to education. He was a real educator, a real researcher and a real academician and held a real place of honor at the University of Florida because he spent his whole career there teaching and doing his research. The things he's accomplished have been amazing."
The story of Gatorade has become the stuff of legend, in both the worlds of sports and business. The drink was produced to help Gator football players deal with the sweltering Gainesville heat, which was leading to intense dehydration. It became much more than one team's secret beverage, however, and is now the "official" sports drink of the National Football League, the National Basketball Association, Major League Baseball and several other significant professional sports groups.
Of late, Cade has been the recipient of many honors bestowed by the university. He was inducted into the Gators' athletics hall of fame recently, and just this month a plaque was erected on campus proclaiming UF as the "birthplace of Gatorade."

he is to be cremated and his remains will be poured over the head of an ,as of yet, unnamed coach...........................

"Wang arrested for panty theft"

Penn student arrested in underwear thefts

A student at the University of Pennsylvania was charged after allegedly stalking female students at the school and stealing pairs of their underwear.
Diexia Wang, a Penn senior, was charged with burglary, criminal trespassing, harassment and theft after he allegedly stole underwear and purses from several women.
Southwest Detectives also are investigating whether Wang stalked a woman who lived in the Harold C. Mayer Residence Hall.
Police said Wang may also be linked to at least a half-dozen bizarre thefts on campus, according to media reports.
Wang was freed after his parents posted 10 percent of $200,000 bail.

i only posted this for the headline...............

Roberts Says God Forced His Resignation

TULSA, Okla. (AP) - Richard Roberts told students at Oral Roberts University Wednesday that he did not want to resign as president of the scandal-plagued evangelical school, but he did so because God insisted.
Roberts told students in the university's chapel that God told him on Thanksgiving that he should resign the next day.
Roberts said he resisted the idea, and that "every ounce of my flesh said 'no,'" but he prayed over the decision with his wife, Lindsay Roberts, and his father, Oral Roberts, and decided to step down.
A lawsuit accuses Roberts of lavish spending at a time when the university faced more than $50 million in debt. On Tuesday, the founder of a Christian office and education supply store chain pledged $70 million to help the university.
Roberts has previously said that God told him to deny the allegations. The week the lawsuit was filed, Richard Roberts said that God told: "We live in a litigious society. Anyone can get mad and file a lawsuit against another person whether they have a legitimate case or not. This lawsuit ... is about intimidation, blackmail and extortion."

he wanted to deny the allegation and the alligator. damn , i love that joke..anyway i tried to turn in my resignation to god but he wouldnt accept mine. he resisted it with every ounce of his strength but when he realized that he couldnt get out of this mean....god told him to resign, well, you cant say "no" to god.

just look at the picture. he looks like one of those elitist pieces of shit who would use goods name to fleece the flock. i sure hope hell has a special place for those assholes.

Grandmother, 35, Accused Of Leaving Boy On Home's Doorstep

ABINGTON, Pa. -- There has been a new development involving an abandoned baby left on an Abington Township doorstep earlier this month.
The baby's grandmother is now accused of leaving the infant out in the cold.

Baby Boy Doe" still may not have a name, but at least police said they finally know how the hours-old infant ended up on the steps of the home in Montgomery County back on the chilly evening of Nov. 8, NBC 10's Deanna Durante reported.
The newborn boy was found wearing clothes and wrapped in a blanket.

Abington police said in court papers filed Monday that those clothes were purchased by the baby's grandmother, 35-year-old Jacqueline Bethea at a Target store on Nov. 8.
It was after an anonymous tip to police that they learned the clothes and blankets found with the baby were sold at Target stores.
Court papers said police reviewed surveillance tape from that day and saw a woman buying the clothes.
Court documents also state that investigators obtained the Bank of America credit card number from the day's receipts and traced her to a home in the Frankford section of Philadelphia.

Police interviewed 35-year-old Bethea and her 17-year-old daughter. Police said in court documents that Bethea was at work, her daughter called saying she was in labor and by the time Bethea arrived home the boy had been born. Bethea's daughter had concealed her pregnancy from her mother.
The court papers said the grandmother bought clothes at the Target on Old York Road and the intention was to take the baby to Abington Memorial Hospital, which is down the street from the Target. But police said the 17-year-old and Bethea told police that they got scared and spotted a home around the corner from the hospital. They knocked on the door and left the baby outside.
According to court documents, Bethea told police, "It wasn't the intention to harm the baby. We were afraid. We didn't know what to do. We thought that we were doing the right thing at that time."
No one answered the door Monday at Bethea's home, although Durante reported that she did see people looking out the window.
The Frankford woman has been charged with endangering her newborn grandson.
Bethea was arraigned Monday morning and released on $5,000 unsecured bail. She has a court hearing scheduled for a few weeks from now.
The grandmother could have avoided charges had she gone through with leaving him at the nearby hospital. Under Pennsylvania's safe haven law, anyone may leave infants up to 28 days of age at local hospitals or health care providers.
The boy, now 3 weeks old, remains in the care of Montgomery County's Department of Children and Youth. Investigative sources told NBC 10 that they hope the child will be adopted to a good home.

do you have to see anything beyond the "35 year old grandmother" to see there was going to be a problem there.

Web User Sentenced for Killing Rival

BUFFALO, N.Y. (AP) - A 48-year-old man entangled in an Internet love triangle built largely on lies was sentenced Tuesday to 20 years in prison for killing his rival for the affection of a woman he had never met.
Thomas Montgomery, who posed as an 18-year-old Marine in online chats, pleaded guilty in August to gunning down Brian Barrett, 22, in a parking lot at the suburban Buffalo factory where they worked.
The motive was jealousy, investigators said. Both were involved online with a middle-aged West Virginia mother _ who herself was posing as an 18-year-old student.
Prosecutor Frank Sedita argued for the maximum sentence of 25 years, describing Montgomery's "almost predatory" pursuit of the woman and his resentment of Barrett when she cooled to Montgomery's advances after 1 1/2 years and thousands of pages of Internet chats.
"The chats reveal an obsessive desire to make Brian Barrett suffer," Sedita said.
Barrett, a college student who aspired to be an industrial arts teacher, was shot three times at close range after climbing into his truck at the end of a shift at Dynabrade in Clarence on Sept. 15, 2006. His body was found two days later by a co-worker.
"My wife and I don't understand how this could happen, how such evil could walk the Earth," Barrett's father, Daniel, said at the sentencing hearing. "To gun down a boy over simple jealousy does not make sense to us."
Montgomery's lawyer said fantasy and reality blurred for the then-married father of two teenage daughters, who was involved in his church and was president of his daughters' swim club.
"Until September 2006, this was a man who held his head high," attorney John Nuchereno said. "By September 2006 _ call it an obsession, call it an addiction, call it what you want _ he was suffering from a diminished capacity of some sort."
Montgomery, now divorced, attempted suicide in his jail cell after his arrest. He chose not to speak at his sentencing.
Montgomery began chatting with the woman, identified in court as Mary Sheiler, in 2005. Occasionally, the woman would mail packages to his home. When one of the packages was intercepted by Montgomery's wife, she wrote back, telling Sheiler her husband's true age and saying he was married.
Barrett, whom Montgomery had mentioned in his exchanges, was drawn into the triangle after the woman contacted him online to confirm what she had been told by Montgomery's wife.
Justice Penny Wolfgang called the situation a "consequence of misuse of the Internet."

let me get this straight.....A 48-year-old posing as an 18-year-old in an online love triangle with a middle aged WV mom posing as another 18-year-old. Sadly, the only one who was actually his age is the now dead 22-year-old who in reality was actually 22 years old.

what a wonderful world

Dude, you were supposed to ignore the story about Lot and his daughters

ANCHORAGE, Alaska - A man who called himself "Papa Pilgrim" and took his family far from civilization to raise them according to his interpretation of the Bible was sentenced to 14 years in prison for sexually assaulting a daughter.

A judge imposed the sentence Tuesday after Robert Hale's wife and many of their 15 children delivered statements that included intense stories of physical and mental abuse. Judge Donald Hopwood called it "one of the worst cases of domestic violence I've seen."
Hale and his family came to prominence during a feud with the National Park Service after family members used a bulldozer without permission to clear a road in Wrangell-St. Elias National Park
Hopwood sentenced Hale to 10 years in prison for sexual assault and two years each for incest and coercion.
Hale, 66, spent much of Tuesday on the stand, denying charges of sexual and physical abuse leveled against him by family members. Hopwood said he simply didn't believe Hale's denials because so many witnesses testified consistently.
Hale had been indicted on 30 counts of rape, incest, coercion, kidnapping and assault for crimes against one of his daughters, committed between 1998 and 2005.
On the eve of his trial last December, Hale pleaded no contest to the three counts in exchange for a sentence of 14 years. But he later tried to withdraw the plea. He said he had made a mistake because he had been sick in jail, on medications and was not well-represented by his public defender.
Last month, in a hearing to decide on his change of plea, Hale changed his mind again and returned to a no-contest plea.
Hale insisted that he had a perfect spiritual understanding, his wife, Kurina Rose Hale, testified Monday.
"This is how he justified all his immoral activity," she said.
Hale was accused of persuading one child that she was a "special kind of daughter" and that she must have sex with him.
The sexual abuse culminated with an incident in the tiny community of McCarthy, about 275 miles east of Anchorage in Wrangell-St. Elias.
That's where Hale locked his daughter in a shed for three days, sexually assaulted her and beat her so badly her face looked like a black and blue basketball, according to another daughter's testimony.
Another daughter and the abuse victim left the family grounds to notify authorities.
Hale ran from law enforcers for two weeks before he was taken into custody.
Other children testified of prolonged beatings at the hands of the family patriarch, including boys being stretched out over a "beating barrel" and lashed with a three-cord riding crop.

i guess he should have taken them to hogwarts to live in accordance to harry potter. crazy religious people gone wild. heres another guy who should just be taken out in the woods , made to kneel and then shot in the back of the head and left to the animals.
as i think about this the wife should be shot too.......

Wayne County Man Electrocuted

It's been a tragic Thanksgiving holiday for a Wayne county family. A Marion man was electrocuted while trying to pull his car out of ditch early Thursday morning.
Wayne County sheriff's deputies said Joseph Maliborski, 20, was using a tractor from a nearby farm to try to tow the car out of a ditch on ball road. The tractor made contact with low hanging power lines causing Maliborski's death.
The Wayne County Sheriff's Department is still trying to figure out exactly how this happened. Several residents who live nearby say they'll never forget what they saw.
Thomas Christensen woke up early Thanksgiving morning to a loud bang. He decided to get a closer look and found a grizzly scene.
"We looked out the dining room window and saw a bunch of commotion down here," Christensen said. "The tractor was burned up. There was really nothing left of it, other than just a shell."
Maliborski's family says he was on his way home from a friend's house and ended up in a ditch.
Another neighbor, James Salerno, saw most of what was going on though his living room window.
"He had had an accident it looked like he slid sideways and hit the pole," Salerno said.
The impact severed the telephone pole leaving the power lines hanging low to the ground.
"The kid should have just gone home and forgot about it and it wouldn't have been that bad you know," Christensen said.
Instead Salerno said Maliborski took a tractor from a nearby farm.
"He took one tractor stalled it and tore the transmission out of it trying to get up to the road," Salerno said.
Maliborski then went back to get a second tractor according neighbors. He was using it to pull his car out when the front loader became entangled in the power lines. The live wires set the tractor on fire. When Maliborski tried to escape he was electrocuted.

let me get this straight......Man crashes car into ditch, attempts to extract car with tractor but stalls it, sets second tractor on fire and electrocutes himself after hitting low-hanging power lines.

ta da..........................

Police: Woman put mom's body in garbage bags beside road

OCALA, Fla. -- A woman was arrested Tuesday after she told police she dumped the body of her 83-year-old mother into two garbage bags and left them beside the road, Marion County authorities said.
Debra Loreth, 53, of Belleview, told deputies she didn't report the death of her mother, Jeanne Vasa, because she wanted to cash the woman's retirement checks, according to the sheriff's office.
Loreth was charged with failure to report a death and was being held at the Marion County jail on $500 bond, jail officials said. It was not known if she had legal representation.
Detectives have filed paperwork with the State Attorney's Office seeking a charge of improper disposal of a body and one count of uttering a false instrument, for allegedly cashing her mother's retirement check.
Loreth originally told police her mother died on Sept. 4 and she didn't report it because she was being evicted, the Ocala Star-Banner reported. She asked a friend to call a cremation business and then moved out of the home, leaving her mother's body behind.
Loreth later told police she put her mother in two, black garbage bags and placed them in a U-Haul truck. She left the bags in Lake County and didn't report the death "because she wanted to keep cashing a monthly retirement check that the decedent was getting," authorities said.
A couple noticed the suspicious bags on the side of the road and called police. Some of the woman's extremities were missing.
An autopsy listed the cause of death as undetermined.

of course this happened in florida. this is why people shouldnt let their kids live with them after a certain age. it just isnt healthy and they become dependent on the parents income.

Thursday, November 29, 2007

Official: Bride, groom stopped in Iraq actually terror suspects

BAGHDAD, Iraq (CNN) -- Soldiers manning a checkpoint near Baghdad stopped a wedding convoy to find that the purported bride and groom were wanted terror suspects, an Iraqi Defense Ministry official said Monday.

The army set up the checkpoint last week in the Taji area, about 12 miles (20 kilometers) north of Baghdad.
The soldiers became suspicious of the convoy because its members -- save the "bride" -- were all male and because one of the cars in the convoy did not heed orders to stop, the official said.
Also, soldiers said, the people in the car seemed nervous and the groom refused to lift his bride's veil when soldiers asked him to, according to the official.
Soldiers ordered everyone out of the car, the official said.
Upon inspecting the convoy, soldiers found a stubbly-faced man, Haider al-Bahadli, decked out in a white bride's dress and veil.
Bahadli was wanted on terror-related charges, as was his groom, Abbas al-Dobbi, the official said.
Two other terror-related suspects were detained as well.

they should have made them consumate the wedding before arresting them. this is really an indictment of iraqi women isnt it...........


CHAMPAIGN – Police are investigating a break-in at a Champaign business.
Someone broke a glass door at the Simply Amish store, 500 N. Walnut St., about 7:50 a.m. Friday, according to a Champaign police report.
A 42-inch plasma television with an estimated value of more than $2,500 was reported stolen. A stand for the television, a ceramic statue, a wall and a vinyl sign were damaged, along with the door, according to the report.
Anyone with information about the burglary is urged to call Champaign police at 351-4545 or Crimestoppers at 373-8477.

one thing i wouldnt imagine being stolen from a store named simply amish is a 42" plasma tv. i imagine that ran on candles..................

150,000 watch North Korean factory boss executed for 'making international calls'

Dictator Kim Jong Il has resumed executions in North KoreaA North Korean factory boss accused of making international phone calls was executed by a firing squad in front of 150,000 people, it emerged today.
The manager was gunned down in a sports stadium in South Pyongan province after authorities claimed he'd installed 13 in a basement to reach the outside world, the Good Friends aid agency revealed.
And six people were also crushed to death and 34 others injured in an apparent stampede as they left after the execution, it was claimed.
The factory chief's death last month came as executions in the communist dictatorship began increasing after a seven-year decline in the number of people publicly killed.
North Korea had faced a barrage of international criticism over claims it has executed many innocent people.
Its citizens are banned from communicating with the outside world, part of the regime's authoritarian policies seeking to prevent any challenge to the iron-fisted rule of Kim Jong Il.
The North has carried out four other similar public executions by firing squad against regional officials and heads of factories in recent months, Good Friends revealed.
"It is aimed at educating (North Koreans) to control society and prevent crimes," the group's head Venerable Pomnyun said in a press conference.
Good Friends gave no exact figures of the public executions this year, although the group has a good reputation as previous reports of what was happening in the country have later been confirmed.
Its report came a week after a UN General Assembly committee adopted a draft resolution expressing "very serious concern" at reports of widespread human rights violations in North Korea, including public executions.
The resolution, co-sponsored by more than 50 countries including the United States and many other Western nations, was sent to the 192-member General Assembly for a final vote.
The North has condemned the draft, saying it was inaccurate and biased.
The communist country insists it does not violate human rights, but it has long been accused of imposing the death penalty for political reasons, holding thousands in prison camps, torturing border-crossers and severely restricting freedom of expression and religion.

wow, what would i get for doing this blog during work. didnt we attack iraq because their leader did things like this........oh........thats right, north korea isnt sitting on a shitload of oil

those people really need to work on how they motivate people

Driver arrested on drug charges

Annapolis police seized about $32,000 in crack cocaine Thanksgiving morning after a traffic stop.Annapolis police spokesman Officer Hal Dalton said police were called when the driver threatened to ram the Pesce Grande Italian Grille and Bistro building with his Lincoln Town Car after an argument there.Officers pulled over the car and gave the driver, Jermaine Jerod Brown, 20, of Glen Burnie, sobriety tests. After he was arrested, police said, a search turned up two bags of crack - about 330 grams - and a digital scale.

Police said Brown was charged with drug possession with intent to distribute and issued citations for drunken driving, violation of alcohol license restriction and violation of provisional license restriction.Two passengers were also charged with drug possession with intent to distribute.

why is anyone suprised that people hauling drugs do stupid things. isnt hauling 32k in crack a stupid thing to start with.

Teen Arrested For Aiming Laser At Helicopter

PHOENIX (AP) ― Phoenix Police have detained a 13-year-old boy after he allegedly pointed a laser at a police helicopter Monday evening.Phoenix police say the helicopter was hit with a bright green laser light.The air unit officers circled around to see where the laser was coming from.Patrol officers found the suspect in the backyard of a central Phoenix residence with a green laser light in his possession.Police say the boy was taken into custody. He's facing charges of reckless endangerment.The boy is suspected of pointing a laser at other police and media helicopters.

he is also a suspect in the case of someone pointing a laser at his sister..............

Three Men in Women's Clothes Start Fight in Memphis

MEMPHIS, TN - They may have looked like women, but they weren't ladies.
Police in Memphis say they're working on a more detailed description of three men as women who came into a McDonald's restaurant with a tire tool and started swinging last night.
Restaurant employee Martez Brisco was working the drive-through window and he says there was an argument there. Brisco says when he ignored them tapping at the window, things got strange.
Police Lieutenant Trevor Tisby says the cross-dressers came inside and decided they wanted to fight with the restaurant crew.
Witnesses say the men hit the manager with a tire tool and when he swung back at them, kicked off stiletto boots and pulled off hoop earrings and jackets for a fight.
When it was over, the manager was taken to the hospital after being hit in the head with a "wet floor" sign and Albert Bolton was bandaged from where he said his attackers used their fingernails to scratch him.
Before they drove off, the three attackers smashed the drive-through window.

sure sounds like some classy cross dressers they got down in them parts. it is a great headline though.................

Wis. Man Upset Over Beer Shoots Goat

WAUPACA, Wis. (AP) - A man who was upset with his wife for not buying beer took vengeance by shooting one of the family's two pet goats, prosecutors say.
Peter W. Mischler, 48, was charged this week in Circuit Court with mistreatment of animals, possession of a firearm while intoxicated and disorderly conduct with a dangerous weapon.
The complaint said Mischler came home Saturday from hunting and became angry with his 22-year-old daughter for letting the goats out and making a mess. While she was talking on the phone to her mother, authorities said, he told her to tell his wife to bring home some beer, but his wife refused.
He then threatened to shoot the goats, according to the complaint.
After his wife arrived home, she and the daughter heard four gunshots and went outside and found one of the two goats with its entrails hanging out, authorities said. They said that goat had to be killed later by a sheriff's deputy.
Mischler posted a $1,000 cash bond set by Circuit Judge Raymond Huber and was released.
A hearing was scheduled for Dec. 4.

that should teach that goat. what kind of asshole shoots the pets over not getting beer. someone should take all of his guns right now.............

Shooter Says He Mistook Cow for Coyote

COLFAX TOWNSHIP, Mich. (AP) - A man says he shot and killed a neighbor's cow after mistaking it for a coyote.
Authorities and the owner are skeptical.
The undersheriff in northern Michigan's Benzie County says he doesn't see how anyone could confuse a 1,400-pound, pregnant cow with a coyote, which typically weighs 20 to 45 pounds.
And anyway, shooting coyotes is illegal during deer-shooting season. Authorities asked the county prosecutor to bring charges.
The 42-year-old man told authorities he was out to shoot coyotes near his home Saturday when he killed the cow, Undersheriff Rory Heckman said. Heckman said the man then tried to drag the cow home.
"The part of his story he his holding to is he shot at a coyote. I don't know how he hit a several-thousand-pound cow mistaking it for a coyote," Heckman said.
The cow, named Hannah, had wandered away from her farm.

how bad is his eyesight? do you really want him out in the woods at the start of deer season? somebody should just take all his guns from him right now...........

out of the us of a friends

diant, france....................................heywood, uk
sunbury, uk.....................................rochedale, australia
bremen, germany..........................muenster, germany
banwell, uk.....................................mariondo torinese, italy
athens, greece................................altena, germany
yelford, uk......................................melle, belgium
chene-bougeries, switzerland......reigates, uk
hethel, uk........................................potters bar, uk
vienna,, finland
riyadh, saudi arabia......................vilnius, lithuania
riga, latvia......................................chesterfield, uk
hatfield, uk.....................................singapore, singapore
bracknell, uk..................................chuo, japan
polyanica, russian federation........jinan, china
hatch end, uk..................................bucharest, romania

thanks for visiting

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

imagine that................

NEW YORK (AP) — American Red Cross President Mark Everson has resigned because of a relationship with a subordinate employee.

was she ringing the bell when he made that donation?................

Cypriot seeks to unravel curse with pants and egg

NICOSIA (Reuters) - Having marital problems? Have you tried putting egg in your underpants?
A woman in Cyprus is on trial for sorcery after pledging to shake off a curse apparently plaguing a man's relationship with his wife and mother-in-law.
The suggested remedy consisted of an egg, a spoon, a nail, some pubic hairs and underpants, local media reported on Friday.
"She cracked the egg into my underpants," the 37-year-old man told a district court in the capital Nicosia.
The elderly woman wanted some 5,000 Cyprus pounds (5,968 pounds) for her efforts, the man said, so he went to police.
Sorcery is banned in Cyprus though many people indulge in card readings and palmistry and read runes in coffee cups.

hell, i would have ruined his pants for half that money.

If you're so drunk that you have your 13-year old drive for you, better make sure he's sober

CLIO, Mich. - A police officer checking on a truck that got stuck in the mud at a city park was startled to find a 13-year-old boy behind the wheel. The officer also was surprised that the boy appeared to be drunk.
So did the teen's father, who was riding in the front seat. He told police that he had turned over the driving duties to his son because he'd had too much to drink.
Open containers of beer and liquor were found in the vehicle, said Clio Police Chief James McLellan.
"(The boy) even said he didn't want to drive because he was too drunk," McLellan told The Flint Journal for a story published Thursday.
The father, 41, is facing several misdemeanor counts, including child endangerment, allowing an intoxicated person to drive his vehicle and allowing an unlicensed minor to drive, police said.
The boy has been petitioned into juvenile court on charges that include driving while intoxicated, police said.
The pair were arrested the night of Nov. 8. They apparently were trying to get home when they turned into the park to turn around. The truck rolled off the pavement and became stuck in the muddy soil.

how many things are wrong with this story? its too great a number to count. talk about a guy making bad decisions...........

Man jailed over hunting trip deaths

A driver who took his mates on a drunken late night rabbit shoot that ended in two of them being killed has been jailed for at least two years.
Paul Jacob Poduska, 27, was drunk when he drove the ute which rolled down an embankment, killing James Herbert, 26, and Kale Shaw, 18, who were riding in the vehicle's tray, the Victorian County Court heard.
Poduska was given a three-and-a-half year jail term, with a minimum two years, over the incident north-east of Melbourne in February 7, 2004.
Judge Jim Duggan acknowledged Poduska did not intend any harm for his two mates and that his offending was at the low end of the culpable driving scale.

"This is a tragic case, it's tragic for you and those close to you. The victims were close friends," Judge Duggan said.
He said it was remarkable the victims' families did not blame him for what happened and viewed it only as a tragic accident.
Poduska, a vineyard manager at the time, had a blood alcohol reading of between 0.08 and 0.1 when the ute rolled, the court heard.
He and his friends had been drinking at a hotel until the early hours of the morning and caught a taxi to the vineyard he managed in Tarrawarra, north-east of Melbourne.
They decided to shoot rabbits and Poduska drove his friends around the property in his 4WD Toyota HiLux work ute in darkness.
But they ventured off the track and as they approached long grass, the ute slipped down an embankment and rolled, crushing Mr Herbert and Mr Shaw who were in the tray.

Any story which includes the phrase "drunken late night rabbit shoot" is sure to end well.......right?

Two days after praying for rain, the Southeast gets hit with violent storms that rip the roof off a church

ATLANTA - A storm crashed through the Southeast and brought up to an inch of rain in parts of drought-stricken Georgia, but forecasters said the storm likely did little to ease the state's historic drought.
"The ground probably sucked it all up," said Vaughn Smith, a meteorologist with the National Weather Service in Peachtree City. "The ground is so dry, I seriously doubt if any of the lakes rose any."
The Wednesday storm packed lashing rain and powerful gusts, injuring at least nine in Tennessee.
The roof of a Baptist church in Tennessee's Marion County was heavily damaged, said Jeremy Heidt of the Tennessee Emergency Management Agency. Three children were hurt by flying glass and were taken to hospitals, said Heidt.
City Hall across the street from the church suffered minor damage, Heidt said, and an ambulance business next to it had heavy damage. A house also collapsed, but the residents went to the hospital themselves.
"I couldn't get the door open because the outside pressure and wind was so strong," said Justin Lawhorne, manager of Wendy's restaurant in Kimball.
County schools were closed Thursday due to the storm.
More than a quarter of the Southeast is covered by an "exceptional" drought — the National Weather Service's worst drought category. With water levels low, many Georgia residents are under conservation orders — such as a ban on watering lawns.
The rainfall came two days after Gov. Sonny Perdue led a prayer service on the steps of the state Capitol to beg the heavens for an end to the drought.

apparently god doesnt like to be interrupted.

Violence Counsellor Went Nuts Over Leaky Shower

Exclusive Violence Counsellor Loses Job For Beating Up His Live-In Lover
AN ANGER management counsellor has lost his job after beating up his partner.
Vince Hogg, 45, attacked Beverley Burns during a row at their Fife home.
The former psychiatric nurse tore the 42-year-old's hair out and slammed her against a wall.
The assault took place shortly after he had taken up his counselling post.
Yesterday Hogg, who admitted assault, was put on probation for 12 months. His lawyer, Joanne Smith, told a court he was to receive treatment for mental health difficulties
Hogg pulled out Beverley's hair and slammed her against a wall.
Her teenage daughter called the police after hearing her mum shouting for help.
When officers arrived, they found both the couple in tears.
Hogg was suspended by his employers, Fife NHS Trust, and has now been moved to a demoted post.
The couple split up after the attack but are now back together in their detached villa in Wormit, Fife.
Passing sentence, Sheriff Robert Anthony QC said: "The court will not tolerate such conduct. This cannot be tolerated in society in any circumstances."
Earlier, Cupar sheriff court heard how, at the time of the May 18 assault, the couple had been experiencing "some difficulties" in their relationship.
Divorced father-of-two Hogg regularly had furious rows with Beverley. Depute fiscal Joanna Nicholson said that the row erupted after Hogg had returned home at about 6.20pm.
She told the court: "The daughter heard him shouting at her mother.
"He was angry about the fact a shower was leaking and caused a carpet to get wet."
Ms Nicholson added that when the daughter went downstairs, she saw Hogg had grabbed hold of her mother who was trying to defend herself.
Hogg's lawyer, Joanne Smith, said he was to receive treatment for mental health problems.
She added: "Things have somewhat settled down since the offence."
But as a result of his conviction, there have been "serious consequences for his line of work".
She explained: "He is currently suspended on full pay but he is to return to work, albeit to a lower position."
Hogg has worked for the NHS in Tayside for 27 years, initially as a hospital porter.
He was heavily involved in the Zero Tolerance Campaign against domestic violence and had only recently taken up to his anger management role.
Writing on a Fife NHS web page about his job, he stated: "I aim to ensure that staff remain safe at work.
"They have the right to perform their duties without fear of abuse or violence."
Yesterday, as he left court, Hogg said: "It was a traumatic period in my life.
"I don't want to discuss things any more."
A spokeswoman for NHS Fife said last night: "We can confirm that this matter has been dealt with in accordance with the appropriate policies and procedures."

what a trauma this must have been to set him off. who of us hasnt been really pissed off by the constant dripping? i know i killed a hooker once because of the faucet in the motel room.

Robber wields stapler

Kentucky - A man wearing a ski mask used a stapler to hold up an eastern Kentucky ice cream store - and briefly got away with $175, authorities said.
Gerald A Rocchi, 32, was arrested shortly after he flashed a chrome-plated stapler at an employee of The Ice Cream Shop in Ashland on Tuesday and demanded money, police said.
Ashland Police Captain Don Petrella said he didn't know if Rocchi planned to shoot staples at the shop's employees or use it as a blunt instrument if he didn't get the cash.
It didn't come to that because the employees handed over the cash, Petrella said.
Several witnesses saw Rocchi leave the shop and told police where he was headed, Petrella said. After arresting Rocchi, police searched his house and found money, a stapler and a ski mask, Petrella said.
Petrella said the stapler's chrome finish could have made it look like a gun "if someone didn't get a good look at it".
Rocchi was charged with first-degree robbery. He made his first appearance in Boyd District Court on Wednesday morning. He did not have an attorney at the hearing.

you dont need a bullet proof vest for this. technically you could have stopped him with about 15 sheets of paper. he didnt have an attorney?....he couldnt afford a gun.

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

These people know headlines...........

Government Inspectors Come Down Hard on Penis Pasta

The largest chain of sex stores in Norway has received notification from government inspectors that some of its foods products are not being properly labeled for nutritional facts.
Penis pasta, candy cuffs and chocolate body paint were all singled out for violating food labeling regulations for not containing a list of ingredients.
One sexual adviser in the store, Kjersti Antonsen, told reporters 'We were a bit surprised to have the food safety authority on inspection. Food is not really our core product,' and added that the matter would be rectified.

i only added this story because of the headline...........

Next question.......

Man shot in downtown Trumann last week

Last Wednesday downtown Trumann was taken over by activity surrounding the shooting of William Lytle, 22, of Trumann.
Shortly before 4 p.m., a 16-year-old Trumann juvenile and an unidentified male got into a verbal confrontation. It was reported the juvenile then went into his residence and got a 30-30 lever-action rifle.
According to reports, Lytle approached the juvenile and asked him what he was doing with the gun and was then shot in the groin area by the juvenile. The bullet exited through Lytle’s buttock. He was transported to St. Bernard’s Medical Center where he was immediately operated on to stop bleeding and repair damage done by the bullet.
When police arrived on scene, the juvenile went back into his home. After speaking with Trumann Police Department Chief Larry Blagg on the phone, he turned himself in.
A gag order was placed on police personnel and lawyers in the case by Judge Steve Inboden last Thursday.

it probably wasnt the best question to ask.

V.P. Cheney Treated For Irregular Heartbeat

WASHINGTON (CBS) ― Doctors administered an electrical shock Monday to Vice President Dick Cheney's heart to restore it to a normal rhythm.The procedure was declared a success and Cheney left the hospital for home.Cheney, who has a history of heart problems, spent about 2½ hours at George Washington University Hospital after experiencing an irregular heartbeat early in the day.The condition was detected when Cheney was seen by doctors around 7 a.m. at the White House for a lingering cough from a cold. He remained at work throughout the day, joining President Bush in meetings with Mideast leaders."During examination he was incidentally found to have an irregular heartbeat, which on further testing was determined to be atrial fibrillation, an abnormal rhythm involving the upper chambers of the heart," said spokeswoman Megan Mitchell.She said Cheney went to the hospital around 5 p.m.

who knew that he had a heart. i mean , i knew he had a penis because hes been screwing the country for 6+ years but i never imagined that he had a heart....

Tennessee man forces his teen daughters to wear electric dog collars. Then the story gets creepy.

Tennessee man charged with raping daughters

KNOXVILLE, Tenn. (AP) - Tennessee authorities say a father is accused of raping two teenage daughters and forcing them wear electric dog collars. The father is charged with aggravated child abuse and two counts of rape. And his wife also faces charges. Prosecutors say she knew about the use of dog collars but not the alleged sexual assaults. She faces charges of aggravated child abuse and failure to report child abuse. They live in eastern Tennessee, near the Kentucky border. The husband and wife were identified in court, but The Associated Press is withholding their names to avoid identifying their daughters. The AP generally does not identify possible victims of sex abuse

is it too late to vote for father of the year in that state. what kind of upbringing makes a person think this is acceptable. rather than voting them for parents of the year cant we just vote them off of the planet. we dont need these people infesting the gene pool anymore...........

Former fair worker guilty of asking minor for sex....

A former concession worker at the Montgomery County Agricultural Fair was convicted last week of soliciting sex from a minor after a two-day jury trial in Montgomery County Circuit Court.

It was the first-ever conviction for county prosecutors under a state law adopted in 2004 that makes it illegal to solicit minors for sex.
Gardner, 57, who now lives in Olean, N.Y., was working at the fair in 2006 when he called a phone number he saw on the wall of portable toilet at the fair, according to a statement released by the Montgomery County State’s Attorney’s Office on Thursday.
He made five calls over several days, and on the last call left a message on the 15-year-old’s voicemail, asking her to commit sex acts, said Seth Zucker, spokesman for the State’s Attorney’s Office.
Gardner faces up to 10 years in jail for the soliciting charge, as well as six years total from two other charges for misusing a telephone. He is scheduled for sentencing Dec. 20.
‘‘The State Attorney’s Office is committed to aggressively prosecuting those who solicit children for sexual activity,” State’s Attorney John McCarthy said in a statement. ‘‘We will continue to work to ensure that young people in our community do not become victims.”
Gardner’s lawyer, Alan C. Drew, did not return telephone calls from The Gazette. According to Zucker, Gardner admitted to calling the number, but denied having asked the girl for sex.
Marty Svrcek, executive director of Montgomery County Agricultural Center Inc., said that Gardner was an employee of a concessionaire, not the fair or the company that runs the midway.
Fair organizers worked with police when they arrived at the fairgrounds in Gaithersburg, Svrcek said. Gardner was fired immediately, he said.
He added that he was not aware of any other such incident at the fair.

let me get this straight...a carny called a number he found on the wall of a port a john and asked for sex from a minor. whats the big deal................

Why didnt i think of this.............

Underage drinking party ends with standoff

Waunakee - An underage drinking party that drew 50 to 70 youths turned into a standoff at a farm shed, with teens barricaded inside for about five hours, refusing calls by police and their parents to come out, officials say.Some of the teens intimidated others by wielding a sledgehammer, ax and rifle and insisting that no one should leave because anyone who did would be ticketed, including members of the Waunakee High School football team, according to a criminal complaint filed yesterday in Dane County Circuit Court.Sheriff's deputies arrived at the farm residence of Daniel and Jacklyn Kaltenberg in the Town of Westport early Sept. 30, just after midnight, in response to a report of an underage drinking party.Witnesses said those in the shed included Jacklyn Kaltenberg, 44, an elementary school teachers aide in the Waunakee district. She talked by cell phone with her husband as the standoff continued, the complaint said, but both Kaltenbergs later told investigators they weren't there.Jacklyn Kaltenberg was charged with selling alcohol to underage persons and resisting or obstructing an officer. Daniel Kaltenberg, 44, was charged with resisting or obstructing an officer. The three teens each face a charge of disorderly conduct while using a dangerous weapon.Most of the deputies left after about four hours. Two stayed in the immediate area, and one of them saw about 20 to 30 youths running to the farm across the street at about 5 a.m.Two of those who attended the party were cited on suspicion of underage drinking and possession of marijuana and drug paraphernalia.Waunakee School Superintendent Chuck Pursell said Tuesday that the district was still investigating the incident, but three students have been disciplined, and Jacklyn Kaltenberg was serving an unpaid suspension from her job.Pursell said no football players were disciplined during the team's run in the state Division 2 playoffs, which ended in the quarterfinals with a loss to DeForest Nov. 3, because the district's investigation hadn't determined any football players were at the party."We can't do something based on hearsay and rumor," Pursell said.One of the teens charged Tuesday is a member of the team.All five people facing charges have been scheduled for initial court appearances Nov. 26.

why didnt i think of this when i was in high school. the police should have shot that shed full of tear gas and then left. of course no football players were disciplined. is it any wonder why football players are all screwed up as adults. and what does this say about the police force there. why didnt they just storm in and beat some kids with night sticks. these kids are lucky they live in farm country...anywhere else and they would be dead..................

Sports Bar Owner Rips Customer's Genitals

The owner of a popular Brooklyn Park sports bar is scheduled to appear in Hennepin County District Court this week on charges he assaulted a customer.
Brooklyn Park police said the incident happened last June at Blondie's bar. That's when a customer tried to cancel a food order and got into a dispute with the owner and bar staff. Police said the man had stopped there for a bite to eat between jobs.
Investigators say the owner, Thor Gunderson, even tried to stop the man from calling 911 for help. When police got to the bar, they say they found the customer bleeding and on the ground, restrained by Gunderson and a bouncer.
"At the hospital they determined he had an injury which was to his scrotum and that one of his testicles was actually torn loose," said Roehl.

just eat the damn food. how bad is it when your willing to have your nuts yanked off rather than eat the food. thats one tough restaurant.

Monday, November 26, 2007

I'm back................

ok, i'm back from vacation so you can start reading again.

and for christs sake ....leave some comments

TV star Hulk Hogan's wife seeks divorce

It has been reported that the wife of wrestler and reality TV star Hulk Hogan has filed for divorce.
Digital Spy reports that Linda Hogan, who has two children with the wrestling star, applied for the separation last week.
Hogan, whose real name is Terry Bollea, claimed the first he knew about the divorce was when newspaper reporters contacted him about it.

Bollea was told by the St Petersburg Times that the paperwork for a divorce had been sent to Pinellas County, to which he responded: "Thank you for the great information. My wife has been in California for about three weeks...Holy smokes. Wow, you just knocked the bottom out of me."
The couple were shown attending marital counseling sessions during their reality TV show Hogan Knows Best, but had reconciled onscreen at the end of the series which is shown on MTV.

i guess hogan doesnt know best. i guarantee he will have a young hot broad on his arm before you know it.

Group Names Naughty, Nice List Of Stores

Shoppers Urged To Avoid Stores That Censor Word 'Christmas'

LYNCHBURG, Va. -- A Christian advocacy group has some advice for Christians as they prepare to do their Christmas shopping: Don't shop at stores that censor the word "Christmas."
As part of its Friend or Foe Christmas Campaign, Liberty Counsel has released its fifth annual "Naughty and Nice" list of stores seeking to attract gift buyers.
The "Naughty List" names stores that make no mention of Christmas in their advertising, vaguely observing the "season" or "holiday" instead. The list includes Gap, Kohl's, Bloomingdale's and Marshalls, to name a few.
The "Nice List" consists of stores that still name the reason for the season. Some stores on that list include Macy's, Wal-Mart, Target and Toys R Us.
Both can be viewed on Liberty Counsel's Web site.
Liberty Counsel's Steve Crampton said stores have the right to advertise any way they want, but Christians have the right to shop at stores that recognize their holiday.

apparently this year christian kids will be getting the shittiest of gifts. of course the only thing crazier than stores not mentioning christmas is a christian group bitching about it. look, their not selling stuff at your church , dont bring your god to their stores.

now your even...........

Jingle bell brawl in Anaheim

Three mothers get into shoving match over place in line to see Santa Claus

ANAHEIM --The arrival of Santa Claus to the Anaheim Town Square shopping center was interrupted briefly Friday when three mothers -- one holding an infant – got into a shoving match over their place in line to see Saint Nick.
Security guards and event workers separated the women, who were shoving one another for nearly 30 seconds. No injuries were reported, and no arrests were made.
One mother claimed that she'd been saving her family's place in line since 9 a.m. for Santa Claus's noon appearance.
The mothers – all with children in tow – were lined up to see the "Jingle Bell Jump," which involved Santa Claus landing in the parking lot in a hot-air balloon.
The Jingle Bell Jump was an annual tradition at Anaheim Town Square that featured Santa Claus parachuting into the shopping center. After Sept. 11, 2001, a no-fly zone was enacted in a three-mile radius around Disneyland. Anaheim Town Square falls within the restricted area by a quarter-mile.
The first 300 people at the shopping center on the corner of corner of Lincoln Avenue and State College Boulevard received free T-shirts.

sing with me.....

jingle bell, jingle bell, jingle bell brawl...................

ok so it doesnt go as well as the original but it does fit the season. mrs pissed wanted to go out on friday but i explained that unless there was something you couldnt live without then there was no real good reason to near a mall on that day.

Bad vibrations over car love toy

A SEX aid that plugs into car cigarette-lighter sockets is being given away at an X-rated exhibition this weekend—to the fury of motoring groups.
The new Rabbit Travel Vibe, which makers claim is "perfect for long journeys", has been put in VIP goodie bags at London's Erotica show.
But last night an RAC spokeswoman warned the aid could be LETHAL for distracted motorists. She said: "Don't use it while driving."
The purple 4ins gadget is designed to fit in glove compartments.
Maker Top Cat boasts it offers 12 volts of "pure vibrating ecstasy" and "complete satisfaction on the move". It can also be used in trucks, caravans and boats.

dont drink and ....what? i am going to imagine that this is made for the passenger

NZ men 'pressured' to have sex

Wellington - Nearly one-in-three New Zealand men say they have felt pressured to have sex or did so unwillingly, according to a newspaper survey published on Sunday.Urban men in their late 30s and early 40s were most likely to say they had been victims of unwanted advances by women, the Sunday Star- Times reported, quoting a national survey of more than 5 600 men.The survey showed that men in their 20s were more loyal to their current partners than those in their late 30s and early 40s, an age group in which nearly one-in-four admitted having affairs.The survey found that 29 percent of male New Zealand teenagers were virgins, a condition most changed in their early 20s when the proportion dropped to 6 percent.

who thought sheep were so demanding. let me just say "for the record" that i have never been "pressured" into sex........

Flaming Lingerie Prompts K-Mart Evacuation

ORANGE COUNTY, Fla. -- Police are searching for a shopper who set some lingerie on fire inside an Orange County K-mart store and then fled.
Hundreds of shoppers were evacuated from the K-Mart located on Orange Blossom Trail over the burning clothes.
Firefighters were called to the business and eventually extinguished the flames.
Police are checking surveillance video for clues in the case, Local 6 reported.
Watch Local 6 News for more on this story.

after reading the headline was there any question in your mind as to where this happened.......

Thursday, November 22, 2007

Happy thanksgiving.................

if you are one of the fortunate people in the world whos sitting down to a dinner tonight then you have everything to be thankful for....................

Friday, November 16, 2007

Florida day.............

i always thought texas was the single most screwed up state in the union but ....i stand corrected. just when i was going to hand out the award up stepped florida....and step up they did.

i was going to post one good florida story a week...and then it changed to one a day but now i nedd to put a whole slew of them because ...well....florida really stepped up.

enjoy these.........................

Florida story of the day.....

Suspect in stand-off: I just `sell weed'

The suspected drug dealer who ran from his car, hid in a Miami Gardens house and sparked a tense police standoff this week told investigators he was just a lowly marijuana peddler.
''I don't want to incriminate myself, but that was some good fire weed in the car,'' Troy McClean told police, according to a police report.
Miami-Dade police found a stolen Glock 9mm handgun inside the glove compartment of McClean's car and several bags of marijuana.
McClean was charged Monday with armed occupied burglary with battery, false imprisonment, possession of a firearm by a convicted felon and grand theft.
Miami-Dade police say McClean was driving a gray 2008 Chrysler that fit the description of one reported in an armed carjacking about 3 p.m. Monday.
An officer tried pulling him over at Northwest 197th Avenue and Sixth Avenue -- but he sped off, according to an arrest report.
Bailing out of the car, McClean ran through several backyards before running into a home at 765 NW 185th Dr., pushing his way inside and hiding behind a washing machine.
Three people inside went running out.
Miami-Dade's Special Response Team eventually smoked him out by shooting gas canisters inside the house.
He told police that he only drove off because he had an open beer can inside the car.
McClean stressed that he ''was not a bad person'' and that all he does is ''sell weed,'' according to a police report.

just like "the man" trying to keep an honest working man down.

Florida story of the day..............

Pasco Woman Found Dead In House Full Of Dogs

HUDSON - When Pasco Fire Rescue went to the home of an elderly woman Wednesday morning, they found her dead and the home filled with 20 dogs and dog feces.
The Pasco County Sheriff's Office is investigating the death of the woman, who appeared to be in her 70s or 80s, but do not suspect foul play, sheriff's office spokesman Doug Tobin said.
"One detective working the case said it was the worst condition he's ever seen in a home," Tobin said wrote in a news release.
It appears the woman had moved into her garage and let the dogs live in the house at 16034 Frost Drive, he said. The house, which had not been cleaned of dog feces for some time, he said.
Pasco Emergency Management, Animal Control and Hazmat were called to assist. No decision has been made as to whether the house will be condemned.
Deputies still were on the scene at 7:10 p.m., Tobin said.

this woman really loved her dogs. i'm just glad she wasnt my neighbor....................

Florida story of the day.........

Unzipped man takes swing at deputy

A 21-year-old Laurel Hill man who was pulled over for erratic driving ended up being charged with resisting an officer with and without violence, in addition to the charge of DUI refusal. Adam Phillips of Fourth St. was traveling north on State Road 85 mid-afternoon on Nov. 10 when an Okaloosa County Sheriff’s Office deputy noticed that his SUV was crossing back and forth across the median line. When the deputy approached him, Phillips, who was not wearing a seat belt, told him, “I don’t have time for this (expletive),” according to the offense report. Phillips had difficulty finding his license although the deputy could clearly see it in the plastic window of his wallet. The deputy suspected that he had been drinking and asked Phillips to step out for a field sobriety test. That’s when the deputy noticed that Phillips' pants were unzipped and unbuttoned. Phillips fastened them, then stuck his hand down the front of his pants, the report noted. The deputy was concerned that the man might have been retrieving a weapon, so frisked him down. During the search, Phillips “turned his upper body towards me in an aggressive manner with his fists still clenched as if he was preparing to punch me,” the deputy wrote. When asked why his pants were unzipped, Phillips referred to a sexual act that had been taking place and said that he was heading home for more. The female in the car told the deputy that she didn’t know why Phillips’ pants were undone and she denied any sexual conduct taking place in the car. The deputy noted eight empty Miller Lite bottles in the vehicle. Phillips was taken to jail, where he refused to listen to anything, claiming he had “learning disabilities.” The deputy let him read the implied consent document, but Phillips refused to answer when asked if he understood it. Later in the process, Phillips took a swing at the deputy and was restrained.

at least this guy was honest. hes getting a hummer while going home for more. he really didnt have time for this shit. why isnt this on cops..............

Florida story of the day............

Robber Who Lost Pants Shot Himself In Hip While Fleeing, Tampa Police Say

TAMPA - A robber who lost his pants after fleeing a holdup Tuesday had reason to drop his clothes and dash - he accidentally shot himself in the right hip during his escape, police said.
Matthew James, 33, of no permanent address, was held without bail at Falkenburg Road Jail today. He is charged with felony attempted murder and felony armed robbery, jail records show.
Tampa police arrested James at St. Joseph's Hospital about 6 p.m. Tuesday. The astute medical staff called police when James, saying he had been robbed, showed up wounded, Cpl. Jared Douds said.
About 1:15 p.m. Tuesday, an armed man entered the Channelside Metro BP, 1239 E. Kennedy Blvd., fired one round at the clerk and swiped the cash register off the counter, police said.
As officers swarmed the area, they recovered a pair of what they thought were the robber's pants near the Lee Roy Selmon Crosstown Expressway.
The bandit also had dumped the cash register, Douds said. "I guess it was slowing him down," he said.
Douds did not know what James was wearing when he arrived at the hospital but said officers interviewing the wounded man identified him as the robbery suspect.
what could i possibly write that would make this story funnier....

Florida story of the day.............

Image Of Jesus And Mary Seen In Pancake

He has been seen on grilled cheese sandwiches, in windows and in clouds, and now Jesus has been seen on a pancake.
Marilyn Smith was making a pancake a couple of weeks ago.
As she was sprinkling it with chocolate powder, the Port St. Lucie woman noticed two figures in the grill marks.
To her and her daughter, they appeared to be Jesus and Mary.
So, after holding onto it for a few days, they decided to put it up for auction on eBay.
The starting bid was $35. when the auction ended just before midnight last night, the winning bid was $338.

or maybe you skillet doesnt heat evenly. this doesnt look anything like the pictures of jesus and mary that i have seen. it more closely resembles the grimace from mcdonalds.

Thursday, November 15, 2007

We have gone too far............

Colorado Town Wants To Ban Red And Green Lights

The town of Fort Collins, Colorado, and its Holiday Display Task Force are in the process of making their Christmas decorations more politically correct.
The task force plans to recommend that the city displays only include white lights, winter symbols that aren't linked with any particular holiday and other non-secular items.
Additionally, Christmas trees will no longer be permitted to be put up outside of public buildings or on public property. The city plans on voting on the recommendations on November 20th.

Florida story of the day...........

Fleeing Robbery Suspect Eaten By Alligator

Investigators said officers responded to reports of car break-ins at a Miccosukee Indian Reservation parking lot located at 500 S.W. 177th Ave. in Miami.

One of the men was quickly captured by officers during the incident last week but the other robbery suspect tried to elude officer by jumping into a large pond behind the facility, according to a WJXT-TV report.
During the swim, police said, an alligator attacked and killed the man. He was apparently bitten on the head several times.
The victim's body was recovered at the bottom of the pond about a day after the reported break-ins.
The men were not identified in the report.
Meanwhile, an alligator believed responsible for attacking and then killing the man was captured and transported to All American Gator in Pembroke Park.
"Some alligators just have a nasty disposition and he was just a nasty gator," owner of All American Gator Brian Woods said. "He seemed to have no fear of people."
The alligator is being kept in storage until the medical examiner's office can inspect the reptile, a trapper said.
Miccosukee employees said the alligator was well-known on the reservation and was given the nickname "Poncho."
"Anytime an alligator digests or even kills a person, it is a state law through the Florida Fish and Game that the gator be destroyed," Woods said.

Scotch egg phobia ruining Wrexham man's life

Bizarrely even the sight of scotch eggs could send Wrexham painter and decorator Gareth Jones running from a room in a cold sweat, but that was before he decided to face his fear in front of millions on national TV.
Now he has juggled with the dreaded savouries on camera and has even eaten one, so it looks like he has confronted his tasty demon and tamed it forever.Viewers of The Trisha Goddard Show on Channel Five this Friday will see and hear how the strange fear was born out of a nightmare when Gareth was six and just grew."I dreamt about the story of James and The Giant Peach, but in my mind it was a giant scotch egg,." said Gareth. "As I got older the phobia got worse so much so I couldn't bear the sight, the smell and definitely not the taste of scotch eggs."It's not the sort of problem a teenage boy shares with his mates so few knew of Gareth's savoury secret until his girlfriend Laura Williams decided to lift the veil on his fears and let the whole nation see her fella's dilemma.She had discovered the full force of his phobia when at a friend's 18th birthday party he completely freaked out when she playfully chased him with a scotch egg on a fork."I didn't understand just how real his fear really was until that moment, "she said. "Gareth got really agitated. I mean genuinely upset."He ran away shouting."Laura, a former pupil at St David's and then Rhosnesni High School in Wrexham, sought help when it became clear that Gareth was deliberately avoiding dropping in on her at the Londis supermarket in Acton where she worked as a supervisor.Unbelievably he was staying away because the shop sold scotch eggs.Then the situation got worse when Gareth, who was unemployed at the time, heard that there were jobs going at the local Asda superstore.Laura wanted him to apply, but he refused because he knew the deli counter sold scotch eggs and he might have to see them every day."I just couldn't do it," said Gareth.Finally the problem came to crisis point when the couple, who had met six month earlier in Wrexham's Central Station nightclub, started talking about marriage.Gareth was adamant that there should be no scotch eggs on any buffet arranged for the big day.If they were there he wouldn't be.That was that for Laura. She'd had enough so she called The Trisha Goddard Show to see if anyone could help.Within a few weeks they had been invited to the studio and there was no turning back."We were split up as soon as we arrived and I didn't see Gareth all day, " said Laura. "Then it was show time and I was asked to sit in a chair in front of Trisha and the audience with a dish of scotch eggs on my knee. I had to tell everyone all about Gareth's weird phobia."Then what does he do but walks straight over and started juggling with the scotch eggs. I could hardly believe it."Gareth
had been virtually been put into a trance back stage by one of Trisha's counsellors and it had cured him of his irrational fear.Scotch eggs are still not on his favourite food list, but at least since the show he can stomach the sight of them.Scotch eggs no longer give him the horrors so the irrational fear that blighted his romance is gone.Now the phobia has been dealt with Gareth and Laura are concentrating on their wedding plans.They're getting married in two years time and since Trisha there is nothing that is going to scotch their plans.
if food can ruin your relationship than maybe it wasnt set in bedrock to start. scotch eggs give me horrors too but it didnt break up my marriage. the generosity of women never ceases to amaze me........

Norwegian erotic store violates food rules

OSLO (Reuters) - Norway's largest erotic chain store was forced to change the labelling on products such as penis pasta, candy cuffs and chocolate body painting, to comply with Norwegian food regulations.
The Norwegian food safety authority, whose goal it is to make sure consumers have healthy and safe food, conducted a surprise inspection at one of the chain's stores and found that several products violated food labelling regulations, top-selling tabloid VG reported on Tuesday.
"We were a bit surprised to have the food safety authority on inspection. Food is not really our core product," Kjersti Antonsen, a sexual adviser in the store, told VG.
Products containing food must be marked with a Norwegian label, listing all ingredients.
"We have panties, bras, handcuffs and suspender belts made out of candy," Antonsen said, adding that the store will comply with the regulations and label all its food products.
The food safety authority also said the store also breached rules of importing erotic candy, which should be reported to authorities at least 24 hours before arrival.

When you are selling edible panties at your adult store you better be sure to have all of the ingredients listed on the package

Gas prices expected to jump another $0.20 on news that we all use it and need it, and we'll pay whatever the hell they want us to pay for it

LONDON ( -- A top U.S. forecaster expects gas prices to jump another 20 cents a gallon by December, according to a report in The Wall Street Journal.
Guy Caruso, head of the Energy Information Administration, said gas prices will keep climbing even if crude prices don't because oil refiners haven't passed the recent rise in crude prices on to gas consumers, according to the newspaper.
Crude prices, which have been approaching the $100 a barrel mark, have eased recently. But analysts expect a weak dollar, the approach of winter and strong demand to keep prices afloat.
At the pump, gas prices rose slightly overnight to a national average of $3.105 a gallon for regular unleaded gasoline, according to AAA. Last year at this time, it was $2.22 a gallon.
Drivers in California are feeling the most pain at the pump with the highest gas prices in the nation at $3.385 a gallon, while prices in New Jersey were the least expensive at $2.905 a gallon.
In electronic trading, crude for December delivery fell 95 cents to $93.67 on the New York Mercantile Exchange. Prices dipped Tuesday after a key OPEC member talked of a possible increase in oil production to offset rising prices.

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

hello to those out of the usa.............

helsingborg, sweden.......... reims,france

adelaide, australia ..............villa residential laguna, argentina

guilford, uk .........................stoney creek, on, canada

sydney, australia ...............leipzig, germany

vancouver, bc, canada........ peitou, taiwan

new delhi, india .................ernakulum, india

ashfield, australia .............jalarta, indonesia

saint john, nb, canada ........hinckley, uk

brisbane, australia ...........ramat gan, israel

lusaka, zambia .................chilliwack, bc, canada

marseille, france ..............karachi, pakistan

kalwara, india, russian federation

buxtehude, germany ........holmbridge, uk

oviedo, spain .....................dublin , ireland

zaanstad, netherlands

visit often...................

Rapper dispute at Chuck E. Cheese leads to shooting, cuz ain't nobody gonna be touching my tokens, yo

A dispute between feuding rap artists led to Sunday night's shooting of a man as he was walking out of a Chuck E. Cheese restaurant in the Madison area, police said.
Travell Price, 29, was critically injured when a gunman shot him in the arm and torso as Price was leaving the restaurant with his wife and three children, police said.
Police said a suspect wearing a gray hooded sweatshirt was possibly seen leaving in a black Dodge. Detectives were investigating whether a black Dodge found last night at the 800 block of Pennington Avenue is connected to the shooting.
Police say Price was apparently targeted in the shooting. Price has a lengthy arrest history over the past 10 years, and he acknowledged that he is connected to rap recordings, police said.
look, where theres smoke theres fire. he has a lengthy arrest history. he probably deserved to be shot for something hes done but a shootout in front of chucky cheese is unacceptable. find the shooters and bury them trial needed...........

Where else but florida.................

Tipster fired from job

LEE COUNTY, Fla. - Fired for doing the right thing, that's what a Lee County man says happened to him after he turned in one of the county's most wanted fugitives."I thought I did the right thing," said Kirk Zahradka.Newspaper photographs of Crimestoppers most wanted tipped Kirk Zahradka off. "Bunch of us seen the electricians name on it, picture on it," says Zahradka. The man in one of the pictures, Stanley Forcier, was his co-worker. "I called Crimestoppers reported him, got the case number," said Kirk Zahradka. That phone call did them both in. "He got arrested," said Kirk Zahradka. Zahradka got fired the same day. "She (his boss) handed me my paycheck said I was detrimental to the company and I shouldn't have done it like that. Her son said that I just should have keep my nose out of other people's business," said Kirk Zahradka.Zahradka worked at Advanced Machine Repair off Metro Parkway in Fort Myers for six years. "I've never done anything to the company. She said I was fired. I told just her I can't believe you are firing me over this," said Kirk Zahradka.He claims his boss knew about his co-workers trouble with the law and claims they even hung up the Crimestoppers photos at his work. WINK News wanted to know how a call to Crimestoppers justified firing someone. His boss, Linda Wright says they had other internal issues with Zahradka. Wright says Zahradka had also been bad mouthing management.Attorney Dennis Webb who doesn't represent anyone in the story says right or wrong, Florida law can't help. "It's the classic no good deed goes unpunished situation, I don't think these people have any recourse," says Webb.Now Zahradka is looking for a new job.

he has got to have a lawsuit here...right? what a bunch of assholes these people are. they are letting a felon go into homes and when this guy saves them ...he gets canned........

Catholic Nun, 79, Pleads No Contest to Sex With Boys 40 Years Ago

MILWAUKEE — A 79-year-old Roman Catholic nun pleaded no contest Monday to two counts of indecent behavior with a child for alleged sexual encounters with two male students at a church convent and school where she was principal during the 1960s.
The nun, Norma Giannini, and her attorney left the courthouse without comment after entering the pleas in Milwaukee County Circuit Court.
Giannini faces a maximum 10 years on each count when sentenced Feb. 1.
According to the criminal complaint, the two men told authorities they had dozens of sexual encounters with Giannini, including intercourse, while attending St. Patrick's School.
One man said the nun told him in 1965, when he was 13, to open the buttons of her habit, but he was shaking so badly he could not do so. He said she then unbuttoned her clothing and had him touch her breasts, the complaint said.
The first incident was followed by 60 to 80 others, including two involving sexual intercourse, it said.
The other man said he had sexual contact with the nun more than 100 times, beginning when he was in seventh grade. At least one incident involved sexual intercourse, the complaint said.
Giannini went on to work in Illinois from 1970 to 1994.
Sister Betty Smith, regional president for the Sisters of Mercy in Chicago, has said the nun received extensive counseling at a St. Louis treatment facility after the order "learned of the situation" during the 1990s.
Giannini, listed in online court records as living in Oak Lawn, Ill., has been closely monitored and separated from minors since then, Smith said. The nun has been retired from active work for five years because of failing health, she said.

look, just paddle me. i promise i'll be good. some people just dont understand a good motivator.

This keeps getting better............

Heather Mills has a recording of Paul McCartney calling her a "one legged bitch" reports The News of the World . Heather reportedly has that tape along with several others locked up in a bank vault for safe keeping.
A source said, "There are other recordings Heather says prove Paul referred to her as a ‘one-legged bitch'. She's hoping this shows people what she's had to put up with, and will let the public make up their own mind about who was to blame for their split."
Heather also has a tape of Paul's daughter, Stella McCartney telling her, "I hope you lose your other fucking leg!"
ok, so shes one legged and shes a bitch. someone tell me where paul has lied...........

Meet the luckiest girl in the world.......

Sarah Carmen, 24, says the Permanent Sexual Arousal Syndrome that she suffers from can cause her to have orgasm at any time of day.
She explained: "Anything can set me off. Even the hairdryers cause funny pulsations through my body.
"As a skin care specialist I have to use tools which vibrate a lot of the time for micro-dermabrasion and they sometimes set me off.
"I find if I'm nervous I'm less likely to get over-excited. So sometimes I try to psyche myself up and worry to control my orgasms.
"Some of my regular customers know my problem. But with new clients it's hard to explain.

there is an old joke about this that ends with...
girl: every time i sneeze i have an orgasm

person 1: so what are you taking for it

girl: pepper

Bihar groom too drunk to wed, so brother steps in

Villagers at a wedding in Bihar decided the groom had arrived too drunk to get married, and so the bride married the groom's more sober brother instead, police said on Monday.
"The groom was drunk and had reportedly misbehaved with guests when the bride's family and local villagers chased him away," Madho Singh, a senior police officer told Reuters after Sunday's marriage in a village in Bihar's Arwal district.
The younger brother readily agreed to take the groom's place beside the teenage bride at her family's invitation, witnesses said.
"The groom apologised for his behaviour, but has been crying that word will spread and he will never get a bride again," Singh said by phone.

well, of course he did. sounds like his brother wanted some teen stuff for himself......

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Why is it that when i go away.....

A priest accused of stalking Conan O'Brien was found fit to stand trial Friday, although his lawyer acknowledged he has been treated for psychological problems.A judge found the Rev. David Ajemian, a priest in the Archdiocese of Boston, was fit after a court-appointed psychologist examined him. State Supreme Court Justice Abraham Clott ordered him held on $2,500 cash bail.Ajemian's attorney, Eric Seiff, agreed the priest was fit for trial. But Seiff also said the priest had been taking medication and has been treated for a year for psychological problems.Msgr. Dennis Sheehan of Our Lady Help of Christians Parish in Newton, Mass., attended the hearing. He said the cardinal of the Boston Archdiocese "asked me to come as a sign of his concern."Ajemian, 46, was arrested last week while trying to enter a taping of "Late Night with Conan O'Brien" in New York City despite being warned to stay away by NBC security personnel.Ajemian, who allegedly began writing O'Brien in September 2006, has been placed on leave by the Boston Archdiocese and can't minister publicly. He was removed in June from his last posting, at St. Patrick Parish in Stoneham, after two years at the parish.(I don't know about you, but I think they make a lovely couple!)A spokesman at the archdiocese did not respond to questions about whether the move was related to the stalking allegations.
But on July 2, Ajemian wrote security officials at NBC questioning "why you chose to raise this matter with my superiors after I left you a clear message by phone several weeks ago that I would cease all contact with the show," according to court papers.In the same letter, he called himself "a stalker of a very different order than the kind you are used to dealing with" and dared them to "tell Conan about your surveillance of me."In a previous letter, Ajemian expressed frustration to O'Brien that he had been denied a spot in his audience after he'd flown to New York "in the dimming hope that you might finally acknowledge me.""Is this the way you treat your most dangerous fans???" he wrote. "You owe me big time pal."He also told O'Brien he knew where he lived and wrote, "Remember (mobster) Frank Costello once dodged a bullet in your building and so can you."Ajemian's seminary mentor, the Rev. John Mark Hannon, said Thursday he believes Ajemian can still be a good priest if he receives proper psychiatric help."He was a good seminarian. He was kind and generous and affable and concerned how people were," said Hannon, who mentored Ajemian before he graduated from St. John's Seminary in 2001.Ajemian, the son of former Time magazine journalist Robert Ajemian, attended Harvard University at the same time O'Brien did. Ajemian graduated from Harvard in 1983, while O'Brien graduated in 1985.It was unclear whether the two crossed paths there. O'Brien's roommate at Harvard, the Rev. Paul O'Brien, a priest in Lawrence who is not related to Conan O'Brien, declined comment.NBC said Conan O'Brien would not comment on Ajemian.
of all the people to stalk...............conan o'brien? wtf? i guess he reminded this priest of an altar boy he screwed when he was younger.

and another thing...........

is this what happens when cousins marry? did anyone think this house of cards wouldnt be blown down? is anyone suprised that this guy dropped the n bomb? who wears belts like that?

ok, he did it. big deal. people do it all the time. blacks say honkey, whites say nigger, everyone makes fun of gooks and wetbacks. get over it. i'm irish. i guarantee you that i know more irish jokes than you. be men about it. sticks and stones...etc. look if it bothers you than just take a midol and wash your vagina and get on with your life. hell i don know anyone who watches this piece of shit. suprised he said nigger? look at him. hes a white trash wet dream come to life. i'm suprised he doesnt say it in every sentence. just look at him. mohawk ? mullet? try a mollet. or maybe a a mullhawk. its a scummy family. the wife is trashy and the kids look like people that punked out to him when he was in the joint. is it any wonder his own kid sold him out to the enquirer.

look, when he was on larry king he said he would kill himself if he thought it would help things. i'm herre to say "go ahead". trust me it will help. he said he thought he was enough of a brother to get away with saying it. look in the mirror. your white. really white. white trash white.

if it means anything i've forgiven him. of course i'm white so it probably carries less weight than i think but if it bothers you ...get over it. if your shocked or suprised then shame on you........

just sayin is all...........

Help Someone Make Rice Pudding.....

stolen from ginas big adventure (a blog of distinction)...............

So you're one of those....Mr. Smarty Pants...Ms. Great Reader.....and you pride yourself on understanding words or having a great vocab.....and you like a take a vocabulary test.....yes....I know it reminds you of taking the ACT or SAT....but hey ...those were the good ol' days right???the cool thing with this vocabulary test is that every time you get a word right.......

you get.....10 grains of rice.....that's not much....but the more you test and play....the more rice you accumulate.......and the best part is THEY'RE NOT GOING TO SEND IT TO YOU....some corporate sponsors will donate the money necessary to buy the rice and it will be sent to areas of need in the's legit.....nothing bad will attack your computer if you go there.......and for once you can sit in your computer chair and with the mere click of a some good.....try it......and learn a few words along the way......and it's fun....if you like geeky challenges......Press here to go to the web page.Happy Rice-ing.

Malaysia firm's 'Muslim car' plan

The Malaysian carmaker Proton has announced plans to develop an "Islamic car", designed for Muslim motorists.
Proton is planning on teaming up with manufacturers in Iran and Turkey to create the unique vehicle.
The car could boast special features like a compass pointing to Mecca and a dedicated space to keep a copy of the Koran and a headscarf.
The idea came during a visit to the Middle East by a delegation of Malaysian politicians and businessmen.
Malaysian press reports say officials in Iran originally suggested the idea.
Safety features or fuel economy is one way of selling a car, but Proton thinks vehicles designed specifically for Muslims across the world represent a huge gap in the market.
Proton is the most dominant car on the streets here but the company has suffered recently after the government allowed more foreign cars to be imported.
The firm has been in talks recently with VW about a takeover by the German car giant.

if only this car had a place to hide your bomb ...................