Monday, December 18, 2006

The closet is emptying.......

In a tearful videotaped message Sunday to his congregation, the senior pastor of a thriving evangelical megachurch in south metro Denver confessed to sexual relations with other men and announced he had voluntarily resigned his pulpit.
A month ago, the Rev. Paul Barnes of Grace Chapel in Doug las County preached to his 2,100-member congregation about integrity and grace in the aftermath of the Ted Haggard drugs-and-gay-sex scandal.
Now, the 54-year-old Barnes joins Haggard as a fallen evangelical minister who preached that homosexuality was a sin but grappled with a hidden life. "I
The second evangelical church leader has stepped down in as many months. i have struggled with homosexuality since I was a 5-year-old boy," Barnes said in the 32- minute video, which church leaders permitted The Denver Post to view. "... I can't tell you the number of nights I have cried myself to sleep, begging God to take this away." Sitting cross-legged in jeans and an open-collar shirt, Barnes spoke in his video about evolving feelings growing up in a firm moral family: from confused little boy to adolescent racked with self-loathing and guilt.
In their only talk about sex, Barnes said his father took him on a drive and talked about what he would do if a "fag" approached him.
Barnes thought, "'Is that how you'd feel about me?' It was like a knife in my heart, and it made me feel even more closed." Barnes expressed hope for a future where one can "be who you are" and be accepted and loved in the Christian community and also spoke about "separating some of the teachings from Scripture" from Jesus Christ.
Palmer said he wasn't sure what Barnes meant, but Barnes told him that he believes God views homosexuality as a sin.

wow any more preachers come out of the closet and they will outnumber gay congressmen. i'm sure he preached the sins of gayiety from the pulpit. oh to be a self loathing gay man of the cloth. instead reverend shoes has chosen to be a self loathing straight man of the cloth. he struggles since he was 5? hhmmmmm. could this mean he was BORN gay? that god MADE him that way? sure his dad badmouthed gays but that was after he realized that he was. he was raised in a moral home. what could have turned him? nothing , he was born that way. nice to know his parents wouldnt accept him and from the comments his friends at the church wont either. i guess when he turned the other cheek he shouldnt have used those cheeks. i guess that whole praying to god to help you doesnt work. if a preacher like this cant get a message through then what hope does anyone else have. maybe god was really busy on those days this being the xmas season and all. maybe he should try humming a hymn.....oh, thats right...humming is what got him in trouble in the first place.

happy monday everyone. a week from now we will all be opening gifts. for now, back to work.

Friday, December 15, 2006


A PRIMARY school sacked a woman teacher for telling heartbroken nine-year-olds there is no Father Christmas.
Parents were furious when tearful youngsters went home saying they had also been taught elves and fairies did not exist either.
The supply teacher, in her 30s, had her contract terminated after complaints to the head. Mum Amanda Piovesana, 30, said her daughter was shocked to be told: “You are old enough to know there is no Santa or fairies. If you ask your parents they will also say there is no such thing.”

i know everyone. i just found out. how long was everyone going to let me go on believing. say it aint so santa, say it aint so. i still believe (unless i dont get the playstation 3 i asked for). and whos lap have i been sitting on all these years. i just thought santa smelled like jack daniels and hot dogs (my mom did).
ok, i quit believing the day i came home from school in the second grade. there i am walking down the alley sing rudolph the red nosed reindeer when i turn into my yard and lo and behold there were three deer hanging there....gutted. seems my dad and brothers were hunting that day and ...well.....sometimes rudolph needs to be whacked. sure the venison was tasty but i still couldnt get a straight answer on how santas sled was going to be pulled. thats when my brother scott told me the truth. guess what? it wasnt a trauma. all it really did was get me to stop pestering santa for gifts ..and started pestering my poor father. i think he was more mad at my brother for sicking me on him than he was about "ruining the magic" so to speak.
ok, all that being said this teacher should be fired. its not her job to break the news. that job goes to disgruntled parent or a pissed off sibling though i do wonder if those parents are mad at her for the same reason my brother got grounded.

by the way elves and fairies are real.

Thursday, December 14, 2006

I didnt know he was lost.......

CHICAGO, Dec 11 (Reuters Life!) - He murdered 17 young men and boys in a sexually driven orgy of necrophilia and cannibalism. Then, in prison, Jeffrey Dahmer found God.
Now the minister who presided over his jailhouse baptism and conversion says Dahmer's 1994 beating death at the hands of a fellow inmate while serving multiple life sentences cut short a faith-spreading mission Dahmer would have carried to others behind bars had he lived.
"He was growing (in faith) and he would have been a great influence on other inmates. He would have had a tremendous impact," said the Rev. Roy Ratcliff, a Church of Christ minister who baptized Dahmer in a prison whirlpool tub in May 1994. The baptism took place about five months before Dahmer and another inmate were killed at the Columbia Correctional Institution in Wisconsin by a third prisoner who clubbed them to death while they were on a bathroom cleaning detail.He didn't see himself as being hated by other inmates the way he was hated in the world."

wow, he couldnt have been more wrong about that last sentence. apparently he wasnt very good at reading people. evangelizing, yes...reading people, not so much. why is it that everyone who finds god only finds him when no one else will reach out a hand for them. you never see a internet millionaire or a playboy bunny or an actor (not counting l ron hubbard as a god) find god while they are popular. no its only after they have fallen on bad times, used up all the good will of family and friends and are one step from the gutter that they find god. hell, i didnt even know he was missing. i bet all those guys he killed and ate wished he had found god before he did that. where was god then. he might actually have been good at evangelizing but i guess he wasnt as good at cleaning bathrooms. had he been better at that he might be alive today. he was baptized in a prison whirlpool? i knew a guy who baptized strippers in a hottub. some of the strippers said they saw god and he said that more than one yelled his name over and over. "oh god , oh god" could be heard echoing from his hottub on many a night. he was a man of god. in defense of dahmer though, the rev. roy radcliffe said he never saw anyone so anxious to take communion......something about the body of christ is my guess.
born again? thank god i was born right the first time.

a funny little story to make your holdays better. now get to work.

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

I been tagged.......

as i have been tagged by maricopa mark i will post this picture of my devilishly handsome self. mark had mentioned in his blog that it would be nice if people posted a picture of themselves so that you could put a face to the blog (also in the event you wanted to hunt them down for a dont want to beat down the wrong person). great idea mark so here i am. i am the handsome lad on the right.

for those who would like to know more about the brilliant mind behind this idea look at the bottom here and click on maricopa mark...its good reading.

Muslim stupidity on parade..........

KARACHI, Pakistan Dec 11, 2006 (AP)— More than 20,000 supporters of an Islamic alliance rallied Sunday, demanding the government withdraw changes to a controversial rape statute that they say go against Islam. Musharraf last week signed into law some amendments to the Hudood Ordinance, a 1979 law against rape that human rights activists said punished rape victims while providing legal safeguards for their attackers.
The ordinance required a rape victim to produce four witnesses in court to prove her assault claim. Under the new amendment, judges can choose whether a rape case should be tried in a criminal court where the four-witness rule does not apply or under the Islamic ordinance.
The new law also drops the death penalty for sex outside of marriage. The offense now would be punishable with five years in prison or a fine of $165. Human rights groups have hailed the amendments but Muslim groups claim the changes go against Islam. Opposition Islamic groups have held a series of protests against the new law since it was passed by Parliament last month.

i know that rape is no laughing matter (unless your raping a clown) but this story got to make you laugh. if this doesnt make you laugh at the islamic faith then nothing else will. what this boils down to is that these people are protesting to regain their right to rape women. bottom line thats all it is. i'll debate any muslim on this . i dont think i would rape someone in front of four witnesses unless i could count on them to back my story. about dropping the death penalty for sex outside marriage...well , do you realize how many camels would be killed each year. $165 or five years in jail? that amounts to $33 per year. can you pay $99 and go to jail for two years? no wonder these countries arent third world....they're fourth world. all the women should just get up and leave. imagine a country full of just men. gayiety would ensue for sure. you think they're pissed off now? imagine the possibilities then. the best thing the united states could do is give them free internet. nobody has a jihad when they can rub one out to good old red, white and blue american porn. it is the one thing we do better than anyone (including the japs and germans). we may not be able to build a really good car anymore but we will always have that.

11 shopping days to xmas. get to work. the economy needs your cash.

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Justice peeked from beneath the blindfold....

BALTIMORE -- A Kansas church has been ordered to pay $3,150 for costs and fees associated with a summons and complaint filed by the father of a Marine whose funeral was picketed by the extremist group.
Albert Snyder, of York, Pa., is suing the Rev. Fred Phelps and Westboro Baptist Church after church members demonstrated at the funeral of Lance Cpl. Matthew Snyder, of Westminster, and posted pictures of the protest on their Web site.
Lance Snyder was killed in Iraq in March. Members of the Topeka church claim U.S. soldiers are killed as God's punishment for America's tolerance of homosexuality.His father's federal lawsuit, filed June 5, alleges church members violated the family's right to privacy and defamed the Marine and his family at the funeral and on the church's Web site.
Phelps and the church refused to grant a waiver in the serving of summonses in connection with the federal lawsuit, making the church liable for those costs.
Court documents say the church has 30 days to make the payment to Snyder.

if this doesnt make you feel good then nothing will. dont get me wrong i wouldnt mind seeing someone punch the living shit out of one of the phelps family but it wouldnt do any good. a punch to the wallet will be what stops this insane family. if this is the kind of people god would want in heaven then hell looks better every day. i can only hope god in his infinite wisdom calls the whole congregation to him soon. wow i would hate to be in line at the pearly gates behind these asswipes. please do not make the payments in 30 days. please throw fred phelps in federal prison. wow. that couldnt be better

a little extra smile in your day.

Monday, December 11, 2006

This sounds just right........

JONESBORO, Ga. -- A middle school security officer used a Taser on a sixth-grade boy to break up his fight with a girl Wednesday, school officials said.
Officials said the 11-year-old shocked twice with the device at Jonesboro Middle School weighs 200 pounds and refused to obey orders to stop attacking the girl, also 11, and the Taser was used as a last resort to prevent her from being seriously injured.
The two had been taken to the office to resolve an argument that started during lunch and spilled into a classroom.
"The male student literally jumped on the girl and started hitting her about the face and head," school district spokesman Charles White said. "He did not comply with directions to stop, and physical efforts to pull him off the girl were unsuccessful."
Both students were treated for injuries, none of them serious, White said. The boy was charged with assault and battery and was taken to a juvenile detention center, and later was released to the custody of his mother.
The officer is a city of Jonesboro police officer who carries the standard equipment of a pistol and a Taser, according to Jonesboro Police Sgt. Brad Johnson.

a 200 lb 11 year old. tasered? what happened to the old days when you would just beat him with a night stick. i long for those days. i guess making him write something 100 times is out of the question now. thank god the nuns were not allowed to use tasers when i was in school. those sadistic nuns would have run up one hell of an electric bill on me. i wonder when his parents will sue the school and police over their "out of control" child getting zapped. thank god someone was there because the little girl he was beating probably stood no chance against this animal. let him be home schooled. if it was my daughter i would be kicking the shit out of an 11 year old as we speak.

December 1, 2006 -- Long Island cops got a real high when a man phoned because his pot had been pilfered.
Suffolk Detective Sgt. Darrell Dabe said officers responded to the man's Bellport home on Wednesday to investigate a robbery report.
Michael Omelchunk, 27, vanished when the cops arrived but returned to say armed thugs had "made off with most of" his weed, authorities said.
"He admitted he was packaging the marijuana when the men with guns came in," Dabe said.
The crooks left with their arms full - but they left behind 71/2 pounds of the stash.
"The place reeked of it," Dabe said.
Omelchunk was busted and charged with drug possession

sure, smoking dope doesnt affect your judgement at all. i wonder if your homeowners will cover the loss of dope. how much would you be laughing if you were the cop who got this call. at least the cops can say an arrest was made on this case. and what self respecting drug dealer calls the police...use a machine gun like every other good drug dealer does. god helps those who help themselves. this just shows that smoking dope makes you lazy too. theres nothing i hate more than a lazy, cowardly drug dealer.

A man has been arrested after allegedly trying to force his estranged wife into an oven on Thanksgiving in front of their five children.
Martin Luther Jackson, 31, of Decatur, has been charged with aggravated assault, aggravated battery, cruelty to children and possession of marijuana after the Nov. 23 incident, said Sgt. Jodi Shupe of the Rockdale County Sheriff's Office.
Jackson and his 29-year-old wife, who have been separated since July, have five children ranging in age from 1 to 13 years old, Shupe said. Jackson apparently started fighting with his wife after she and the children returned to their Conyers home on Thanksgiving.
At one point during the fight, Jackson allegedly attempted to stuff his wife inside the kitchen oven, which had been left on to heat the house, Shupe said. The woman escaped and went to the sheriff's office with visible head injuries, Shupe said.
Investigators found Jackson hiding under a bed at his mother's house in Decatur, where he had been living since the separation, Shupe said.

who hasnt wanted to shove their wife into an oven over the holidays. maybe he was just trying to show her the self cleaning feature of the oven or how easily the racks slide in and out. maybe after smoking some dope he got hungry and she reminded him of a ham....a screaming , kicking ham. and what a way to impress the children. i'm sure the father of the year people will be wanting to speak to him .......right after the state is done with him. and again, what self respecting criminal runs home to mommy. i'd rather get caught in a whorehouse than hiding under my old bed at mommies house. you know mommy never took down the posters and little league trophies from his childhood. hes going to do well in the joint.

well kids hope your monday is going well. mine isnt but thats not your problem. now get to work

Thursday, December 07, 2006

Stupid is as stupid does......

SCOTTSDALE - A gunman who allegedly held up a bank was arrested minutes into his getaway attempt after he unwittingly tried to drive into Scottsdale police headquarters.Randall Todd Wagner is suspected of handing a demand note to a teller at Bank of America, 3123 N. Scottsdale Road around 10 a.m., shortly before fleeing onto Indian School Road,police said. Wagner, 39, was arrested after he momentarily tried to turn his Ford Taurus into Scottsdale's Witzeman Public Safety Building, at Indian School and Granite Reef roads - a building swarming with uniformed police and fire personnel for a public dedication ceremony.
Wagner was pulled over near Indian School and 87th Place, two blocks from headquarters, by Scottsdale police Lt. Steve Yturralde."The guy looked like he was going to turn into the ceremony, and I think he changed his mind," Scottsdale police Sgt. Mark Clark said.It took less than 10 minutes to find and catch Wagner, Clark said. He was taken into custody without incident. A handgun and cash were found inside the Taurus."He knew he was caught," Clark said. "He made the smart decision and just gave up."

he made a smart decision? must of been his first that day. apparently it not like the movies where the criminal plans out every step of the heist, taking into account any variables, then pulls it off without a hitch. he wont be in oceans 13 if you get my drift but he will have a really funny story to tell in prison during the almost continuous anal rapes.

BARBERTON, Ohio -- A Barberton man with 18 DUI convictions could be on his way to becoming Ohio's worst drunken driving offender.
NewsChannel5's Jonathan Costen reported that the number of convictions against 51-year-old Jess Brown could go up with pending cases in Akron and Barberton.Brown was arraigned Wednesday on charges stemming from the collision in Barberton.Police said Brown was drunk at the time of the collision. In fact, authorities said that if he's convicted on the Akron case, a Barberton DUI would make 20 convictions, a state record.
Barberton Police Chief Michael Kallai said Brown simply has no regard for others.Brown is being held on a $50,000 bond. His next hearing is set for December.
Kallai said he suspects that once a judge sees Brown's record, he will be kept in jail for a long time.

lets see what record do i want to set. you think as a small boy this was his dream. i'm sure its a proud moment for his family. see and you thought jess would never accomplish anything. he showed them. lock him up and throw away the key. only through incredibly dumd luck haas he not killed anyone ....yet. i guess he will need to wipe out a family before hes put away.

LORAIN, Ohio (AP) - A former Roman Catholic school principal accused of kissing three male students' feet has pleaded not guilty to misdemeanour charges of sexual imposition.
Robert Holloway, the former principal at St. Anthony of Padua School in Lorain, entered the plea Monday. He also pleaded not guilty to charges of unauthorized use of public property.
Police Sgt. Mark Carpentiere said foot fetish material was found on two school computers seized from Holloway's office, despite the educator's claims he did not have a foot fetish.
Holloway, 50, resigned as principal in the spring after the 14-year-old students and their parents reported the foot-kissing to police.
The principal told authorities that the kissing was pay-up for a bet over a student-teacher volleyball game. He paid each student $15 and kissed their feet 50 times in the school's library and gym.
Holloway's lawyer, Carmen Roberto, would not allow his client to speak to reporters after the hearing.

what was the bet. how many times he could blow a 14 year old? and he lost? is this something you want out in public . shouldnt he just do the honorable thing and kill himself. and what kind of kid would let the principal kiss his feet 50 times. ok, sure i would have let some principal/teacher kiss my feet just to humiliate them but 50 times.....i dont think so. and you just know tongue was involved. in defense of the students i'm sure the $15 went towards the keg party that weekend.

some funnies to get you through thursday...i know i need it. now get to work.

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

And i only thought it would make you go blind.....

BEIJING (Reuters) - A 14-year old Chinese boy killed himself after running up a bill of 1,800 yuan ($230) calling phone sex numbers, the official Xinhua news agency said on Saturday. Li Hongbin, from a village in poor northwestern Gansu province, dropped out of school last year and began calling the expensive hotlines in August.
He committed suicide by drinking pesticide after a telephone company clerk called at the family home asking for payment.
The longest conversation listed in a 16-page phone bill went on for over four hours, Xinhua said.
Calls cost three yuan a minute, Xinhua cited the head of one service as saying. The average monthly cash income of Chinese farmers is just 300 yuan.
Phone sex services have been proliferating in recent years, with adverts in local telephone directories and newspapers, but Beijing is also attempting to crack down on pornography with a campaign that includes monitoring phone sex lines.

a woman that works with me had a son that ran up $900 in phone sex charges......on her credit card. she defended him saying that he wouldnt do that. the correct answer is "sure he would". ladies just assume that when your not around we are masturbating. its one of the few things we dont have to look our best to do. if god didnt want you to masturbate he would have made a computer mouse that needed to be used with two hands. its what we , as men, do best. and dont pretend you ladies dont do it either. i've seen the ads where the woman is holding this vibrator to her shoulder trying in vain to convince us that shes using it on her shoulder. yeah right. i'm not falling for it. that thing is shaped like a penis for one go where a penis should go. you virgins can think of it as captain kirk (you'll get that one soon or have someone explain it to you). is a $230 bill reason enough to kill yourself. in a sure your ashamed of it (by it i mean getting caught, not the act) but you'll get over it. so will the folks. kick them your next paycheck and get on the internet like everyone else. internet access is cheaper than the phone sex service that kid was using.

well kids i need to run. i;m going to call my answering machine and leave a filthy message for myself. the rest of you....get to work.

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

Does anyone have a goddamn comb......

TMZ has learned that actor Rip Torn was arrested in North Salem, New York and charged with Driving While Intoxicated (DWI).We're told Torn, who is 75-years-old, refused to cooperate with the cops and would not submit to a blood-alcohol test.Torn, who has starred in numerous movies including "Men in Black" and "Dodgeball," was arrested after his car was involved in an accident and police were called. At the time of publication, Torn was still in police custody.In January, 2004, Torn was arrested in New York City after crashing his car into a taxi, and charged with DWI. Even though Torn launched into an epic and vulgar rant at the police station, the actor was found not guilty. His lawyers were Judge Judy's two sons.
cant the police just hook these guys up with a comb before the mug shot. is the goal here to make as an embarrassing photo as possible. i've gone out drinking and have come home in some horrible shape and i have never looked like this. he looks like a drunken irish pirate. all he needs is an eyepatch and a hook for a hand. and dont think the chicks fare any better. you would think the cops would want the photo to come out nice before sending right to tmz or one of the other celeb sites that must pay the cops for these wonderful shots. buy a comb. let these guys use the bathroom. whatever it takes. isnt it bad enough to get arrested and have your mugshot all over the net.
ok, i admit it, i love these shots......thank you rip, glen campbell....etc, etc, etc

Why not me.......

LOS ANGELES - The nation's largest Roman Catholic archdiocese said Friday it will pay $60 million to settle 45 sex abuse lawsuits, the largest payout yet by the Archdiocese of Los Angeles and among the biggest resulting from the molestation crisis that's plagued the church. The cases were among more than 500 abuse claims pending against the Los Angeles Archdiocese.
The claims settled Friday involve 22 priests and include allegations from two periods when the archdiocese had limited or no insurance against sexual abuse claims — prior to the mid-1950s and after 1987.
Mahony said $40 million of the payment would come from the archdiocese, while $20 million would be from religious orders plus a small amount of independent insurance coverage.
Friday's settlement was the largest in California since 2004, when the Diocese of Orange agreed to spend $100 million to settle 90 abuse claims. It was also the fourth-largest in the nation since the clergy abuse crisis erupted in the Archdiocese of Boston in 2002, according to an AP review of settlements.

why couldnt i have cashed in on this payday? was i so hideous as a child? didnt they like me at all? i was always dressed nice, combed hair.........why couldnt i have been taken advantage of. i wouldnt have liked it then but the payoff now is sweet. i have a dream that the catholic church will have to start selling things to pay for all these lawsuits. alot of people think this is due to the fact that priests cant marry but as you will read below this isnt always the case. if only the church wouldnt have hid this problem. if they would have taken the first priest and threw him to the wolves then alot of other priests wouldnt have pulled out the willies for the to speak.


A Maryland rabbi caught in a television sting operation was sentenced to 6 1/2 years in prison yesterday for trying to solicit sex from a 13-year-old boy over the Internet.
David A. Kaye, 56, told the judge that he traveled to Herndon for what he thought would be sex with a boy "as a cry out for help to fight my personal demons." Sobbing as he acknowledged his father, who sat in the courtroom in a wheelchair, Kaye said his conviction had made him face "the reality of who I am. . . . I know I need help. I pray that God allows me to get that help."
Kaye's attorney, Peter D. Greenspun, said the rabbi, who was featured last year on the "To Catch a Predator" series on "Dateline NBC," kept his sexuality secret and spent thousands of hours chatting online in search of liaisons.
Kaye thought that he was chatting online with a young adult, Greenspun said. He said Kaye, who is divorced, is in therapy, and he urged a sentence on the low end of federal guidelines, which recommended a term of 63 to 78 months in prison.
"There is a very decent core to this man," Greenspun said.
But U.S. District Judge James C. Cacheris in Alexandria settled on 78 months and said Kaye would then face 10 years of supervised release. The judge said that during that time, Kaye will be forbidden to accept any job involving children, and he ordered him to never be around children younger than 18 without an adult present.

dont think the catholics have a lock on the whole gay/pedophile thing. in defense of the priests never has one been caught on a national tv show. a decent core to this man? i guess he was going to ...very decently...screw a 13 year old boy. i saw this episode and there is no way hes going to make 78 months in the joint. hes an odds on favorite to get shivved in the laundry. guess what dave there arent any 13 year old boys in prison and the guys there dont like men who prey on 13 year old boys. they are going to slice him up for xmas. his best bet is to take a swing at a guard on the very first day and getting thrown into solitary. its his only chance.

only 20 more shopping days til xmas kids. dont spend more than say......$500 on my gift. thats an arbitrary figure by the way

Monday, December 04, 2006

Hittng a little too close to home........

JACKSONVILLE, FL –- The makers of a new video game say its Biblically themed action is designed to stir “’thinking and talking’ about matters of eternal importance.” But opponents on the First Coast say it’s offensive to Christian beliefs.With flashy graphics and intense action, “Left Behind: Eternal Forces” has the hallmarks of a hit video game, but with a Biblical twist. Set just after the Rapture in the Book of Revelation, the game puts you in charge of civilians and soldiers with the Tribulation Force –- an armed group fighting against the army of the Antichrist.That fighting sometimes means killing. And some religious groups are furious.“Christ’s central message has always been one of understanding and love. And for people to use Revelation and misuse Revelation in such a way –- is grotesque,” said Avery Garner, a leader of the Christian Alliance for Progress, a nationwide group based on the First Coast.

this may be the first time christians killed people who deserve it. just kidding had to know its only a game. in real life christians are too busy killing abortion doctors. christians mad about killing? didnt anyone explain the crusades or the inquisition or the holocaust? the bible is just full of murder and rape and......well you get the drift. nobody in the history of mankind (this includes that crazy chap pestilence) has killed more people than christians. the only truly shocking thing in all of this is that they arent attacking gays, women and jews......the holy trinity of hate. how did they get left out. this actually sounds like a cool game. i may have to get it. this should prove to god that i'm on his side. i hope this is my in to heaven.

get on with you day is mondday you know.

Friday, December 01, 2006

Recipe time........

Here's a great Tequila Christmas Cookie recipe that I thought you might want to try this year:

1 cup of water1 tsp. baking soda1 cup of sugar1 tsp. salt1 cup of brown sugarlemon juice4 large eggs1 cup nuts2 cups of dried fruit1 bottle Jose Cuervo Tequilla

Sample the Cuervo to check quality.

Take a large bowl,

check the Cuervoagain, to be sure it is of the highestquality, pour one level cup and drink.

Turn on the electric mixer...Beat onecup of butter in a large fluffy bowl.Add one teaspoon of sugar...Beat again.

At this point it's best to make sure theCuervo is still OK, try another cup ...just in case.

Turn off the mixerer thingy. Break 2leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit, Pick the frigging fruit off floor... Mix on the****. If the fried druit gets stuckin the beaterers just pry it loose witha drewscriver.

Sample the Cuervo tocheck for tonsisticity.

Next, sift two cups of salt, orsomething. Who giveshz a sheet.

Checkthe Jose Cuervo.

Now shift the lemonjuice and strain your nuts. Add one table. Add a spoon of sugar, orsomefink. Whatever you can find. Greashthe oven.Turn the cake tin 360 degreesand try not to fall over. Don't forgetto beat off the ****.

Finally, throwthe bowl through the window, finish theCose Juervo and make sure to put the stove in the dishwasher.


i stole this from another blog. i thought you might enjoy it going into the first weekend in dcember. ok, now back to work

Thursday, November 30, 2006

Something to keep in mind......

Let's all shop at Sears!!!
I assume you have all seen the reports about how Sears is treating its reservist employees who are called up? By law, they are required to hold their jobs open and available, but nothing more. Usually, people take a big pay cut and lose benefits as a result of being called up.. Sears is voluntarily paying the difference in salaries and maintaining all benefits, including medical insurance and bonus programs, for all called up reservist employees for up to two years. I submit that Sears is an exemplary corporate citizen and should be recognized for its contribution.Suggest we all shop at Sears, and be sure to find a manager to tell them why we are there so the company gets the positive reinforcement it well deserves.

i doubt that wal-mart would do the same. at this time its unbelievable that acompany would do this and as such should be rewarded.

i looked this up on snopes and it is true.


i know your all waiting on me to comment on kramer and i didnt want to until i saw where the chips would here goes nothing.
ok so kramer lost it in a comedy club. the people came in and he thought they were making too much noise. ok, so he dropped the n-bomb what ah.......thousand times. so what. maybe he thought he was making a rap video. watch the shows from the apollo and you hear "nigga" used a million times. does that make it right? probably not but if blacks want whites to quit using it then they should start.....dont you think. personally i dont run around calling white people honkies or crackers (even if i'm mad at them) asshole seems to do the job just fine. the jews took their collective feet off of mel gibsons throat now its time for the blacks to do the same to kramer. he apologized. hell, he went on jesse jacksons show and apologized. isnt that enough? everyone is watching the show on youtube and making fun him anyways. hes got down on his knees and kissed your shoes. you showed relax. i'm tired of this story and its taking up too much space and brain power on blogs around the world. this story is so last week now lets just forget it. the guys he yelled at want him to apologize to their faces and then let a judge decide what compensation should be. heres your compensation....did you get your apology? cool, nows heres cab fair ...go home. you won. oh, and on your way drop gloria "fuckin" allred off at ..well....wherever asshole lawyers hang out. i cant remember who said this but a famous man once said "cant we all just get along".

Birds of a feather..........

these two guys havent had a great week have they. tracy morgans, from saturday night, was caught drunk driving in nyc. they offered him a $1000 fine, 5 days community service , a dui prgram and no serving time but alas tracy couldnt accept that plea bargain. see tracy was caught driving drunk in los angeles and accepting this plea would mean admitting guilt which would assuredly get him some time in jail in california. poor tracy blew a 1.261 which is considerably above the .8 thats legal in new york. good for you tracy ...i say go big or dont go at all. of all places to get the only thing more plentiful than lowlifes there is cabs. they are everywhere. of course being black at three in the morning probably means they wont stop for you but least try. seeing that he plays a drunk on 30 rock maybe he can say he was just researching his part.
snoop d to the o to the double g is another case alltogether. snoop was nabbed outside the tonight show after performing with dope and a handgun. it probably didnt help that he performed on the show with a large marijuana leaf symbol across his hand. note to self: if i'm going to be carrying dont advertise. Law enforcement officials are saying the search warrant was conducted as part of an ongoing investigation into the Dogg's arrest earlier this month at the Burbank Airport, after he allegedly tried carrying a gun in a carry-on bag onto a plane. being a genius at rhyming doesnt make you a real einstein now does it. foshizzle. maybe he can get a cell with tracy. one can make the other laugh while he makes up rhymes.
i dont know what it is about these guys throwing their lives away but i do laugh while they do it.
get on with your day and remember......your not tracy or snoop.

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

See, religion doesnt make you crazy.......

A Thai Buddhist monk cut off his penis with a machete because he had an erection during meditation and declined to have it reattached, saying he had renounced all earthly cares, a doctor and a newspaper said on Wednesday.
The 35-year-old monk, whose name was withheld for privacy reasons, allowed medical staff at Maharaj hospital, 780 km (480 miles) south of Bangkok to dress his wound, but refused reattachment, hospital chief Prawing Euanontouch said.
"We cleaned up the wound, gave him some stitches, but he declined to have it reattached because he said had abandoned everything," Prawing told Reuters by telephone.
no it doesnt make you crazy. this seems like a perfectly logical response to the erection. that pesky penis wont be bothering him again now will it. no chance of that. and lets be honest ...who hasnt thought of cutting of their johnson. i guess i'm the only one just like i'm the only one who ever pissed their pants or couldnt get an erection at a bachelor party and then killed a hooker. ok, i'm the bad guy i guess. i guess you must applaud his devotion. i mean how much do you have to love meditating to do that. even god is saying "dude, what were you thinking". i really dont think this is what god had in mind for us. i could be wrong about that but because i am a man of the cloth (reverend in the universal life church of modesto california) i think i have an insight into the mind of god......and hes freaking out about this dude.
well i hope this get you through hump day (no pun intended) without to much trauma. now get to work kids

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Just when i thought the world was perfect......

tmz is reporting that pamela anderson is filing for divorce from kid rock. the reason you ask.....irreconcilable differences. what else did you expect. you think that one morning she woke and looked at him and said hes skanky and doesnt have a future. its the reason she left tommy lee. he was over. or maybe kid realized how many guys have been in that dumpster before him. either way this was bound to happen. they lived a lifetime in those four months of weeded bliss. oh well another white trash couple bites the dust. the best part is that this photo will be in gq in january.
no sex tapes of brit and kevin? oh snap. actually i wasnt looking forward to tapes of him fouling her. there was a time when she was every guys wet dream....then it was gone. kevin put the finishing touch on that. a fat used up brittney isnt what i care to look at. she should ask pam how to do it. if anyone made a great sex tape it was her and tommy.

lets get some work done kids. remember its tuesday.

Monday, November 27, 2006

What. no moat................

The NYPD has installed a patrol tower in a Harlem neighborhood in an effort to cut crime in the high-risk neighborhood. The two-story booth tower, called Sky Watch, gives the officer sitting inside a better vantage point from which to monitor the area. Officers in the booth have access to a spotlight, sensors, and four cameras. The tower is portable and can be moved to the areas that need it most. Residents in Harlem say they like the idea, though some wonder if the appearance of Sky Watch has anything to do with the two new luxury condos built on a nearby corner. "There was crime around here before and they never had it. Now all these expensive buildings, it's true,” said one area resident. “But actually it's good though, because then I used to see a lot of crowd here and sometimes I was scared to pass here, but guess what, that doesn't happen anymore. It’s a kind of deterrence and it's good." Police say the Harlem tower was placed there to combat a rise in murders. Sky Watch has also been tested in Crown Heights in Brooklyn where it reduced crime. Police are hoping to have three more towers soon.

it isnt enough. not there. when will the bitching about them putting it in a black neighborhood start. well of course if you want whites to buy the high end condos you must have something for them in the way of security. it would be a shame to buy an expensive condo and then not be able to find a cabbie to take you there. no cabbie in his right mind is taking a fare to harlem.

ok so i made it through the holiday and a wedding and i came out unscathed. people actually asked me what they have to do to get a mention in the blog. the wedding was a little more churchy than i like but it wasnt mine so that was ok. the word submissive was bantered about a little more than some women would have it but if the first impression of the groom is anything hes going to be the submissive one. saying "i do" was his last decision he will be making for a good while.

i hope everyone had a great holiday and got their share of the turkey...i know i did. no fights this year regardless of my brother in law doing his drunken best to start one.

well everyone i must work today. enjoy your monday.

Friday, November 24, 2006

This might not be far from the truth......

VATICAN CITY–Alarmed by rising rates of pleasurable, mutually fulfilling acts of physical love among Catholics, the Vatican issued a statement Monday warning against healthy attitudes toward sex.
Pope John Paul II warns against the dangers of mutually fulfilling acts of love.
"The practice of so-called 'healthy sexuality,' with its emphasis on the spiritual and physical nourishment of consenting partners in a relationship built on mutual respect, has no place in the Holy Roman Catholic Church," the 200-page document read. "Those who have derived pleasure from such non-shame-based practices are not living according to God's law."
The Vatican statement cited 183 different "wholly sinful" sexual acts, including the discrete, occasional manipulation of one's own genitals for pleasure; intercourse positions designed to heighten sensations of ecstasy; and intimate, post-coital cuddling and conversation with a loved one outside the bounds of the marital bed.
The statement also listed 244 phrases which are regarded as blasphemous when uttered in a non-procreative context. Among them: "God, your breasts are beautiful," "I feel so complete when you're inside me," and "I love to watch your belly rise and fall after we make love."
Church officials were quick to praise the Vatican's denouncement of "the brutal transgression against God that is the enjoyment of sex for its own sake."
"In recent years, Catholics the world over have been exposed to a multitude of sexual practices that, if not resisted, could enrich their lives and deepen their enjoyment of their partners," said Cardinal Joaquin Navarro Valls, speaking on behalf of the pope. "As Catholics, we must remain vigilant, doing everything in our powers to resist such urges. Only the Lord's divine redemption can transform sex into a force for goodness by limiting it to the joyless context of married couples who wish to procreate."
A Catholic couple sins.
"The position of the Church is absolute: If two people who are not a married couple endeavoring to have children engage in tension-relieving, life-affirming sex, they are committing a grave sin," Archbishop Edward Egan of New York said. "There is nothing holy about people feeling good about their bodies and themselves."
Catholics are taking the condemnation of modern sexual mores to heart.
"In the seven years we've been married, my wife and I have probably had sex about 1,500 times," said Lowell, MA, resident Bill Metz, 36. "We're extremely attracted to each other, and satisfying each other physically is something we've always enjoyed. Until now, that is. I finally see that what we thought was a fun way to celebrate our love was really an expression of hostility and disrespect toward Jesus."
Metz added that he and his wife plan to have at least 15 children as penance for their physical indulgences.
"This is a major step forward for the church," said Father Thomas Mallory, Deacon of Boston's Our Lady Queen of Peace. "We've seen too much healthy sexuality among Catholics in recent years, which inevitably led to an unholy sense of well-being and contentment. Hopefully, this papal condemnation will put a stop to that."

goddamn i love the onion. go there and you'll get a good laugh. on the other hand, if this were a real story would any of you be shocked. i mean shocked that they said it not shocked that this line of reasoning could be had in the 21st century.

this is just another cheap post because i'm too bloated with turkey and gravy and pie to write besides it just a good quality laugh and what other reason would you come to this site ...except for quality. enjoy your weekend everyone

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Funny headlines...........

these are blurbs from drew curtis' if you havent been there you should go. its funny stuff and he has a knack for this.

Pope-commissioned condom study passes first hurdle: they fit over his hat

Heather Mills McCartney says she'd "rather have all her limbs cut off" than stay married to Sir Paul. Well, one out of four ain't bad

The founding member of the National Hobo Foundation has gone to that great box car in the sky

Only 6 in 10 U.S. babies born in wedlock. The rest born in i-really-like-you-a-whole-lot lock

Bindi Irwin has been getting over father Steve's death just a little too well, psychologist brought in to stop happy thoughts

Paxil activates man's Body Thetans, causing him to embezzle millions. Judge agrees

Men participating in speed dating five percent more likely to meet women for every inch they have on their rivals. In height, you perverts

Bush: "As the Iraqi army stands up, we'll stand down." Generals in charge of training the Iraqi army: "Steven Hawkings has a better chance of standing up than these guys"

as i am too lazy to write something original in this the last post before the blessed holiday of thankgiving i have decided to turn in this little piece of claptrap for you all. its like a best of show or a greatest hits cd. i put in relatively no effort and it still counts as a post. next week i'll have some great shit and i may even have something over the weekend. along with the holiday i have a wedding so i'll be spending some quality time with the in-laws so something funny might happen that just has to be told. if you care to check out the fark site its in my faves list below.

with that in mind i'll tell everyone to enjoy their wednesday. if your like me this is your friday. have a good thanksgiving and remember dont drink and'll spill your drink. pound it down and then get behind the'll thank me later. i think to celebrate the holiday i'm going to steal something from an indian.

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

They just dont get it.......

BURNING MAD: When Alton Verm of Conroe, Texas, saw the book his 15-year-old daughter brought home from Caney Creek High School, he wasoutraged. "It's just all kinds of filth," Verm said. It includes suchinflammatory words as "damn" and "hell", and Verm has filed a "Requestfor Reconsideration of Instructional Materials" with the ConroeIndependent School District. He happened to file it during the AmericanLibrary Association's Banned Book Week. "I want to get the book takenout of the class," he said. The book: Ray Bradbury's "Fahrenheit 451",a 1953 novel about a dystopian society where books are banned andburned, freedom of speech is restricted, and critical thought issuppressed. But Verm wouldn't know: he admits he hasn't read the book.(Conroe Courier)

BURNING IRONY II: Harrisonburg (Va.) High School had a display of bannedor "challenged" books to provoke thought about the American LibraryAssociation's annual Banned Books Week. "Had" is the key word here:Harrisonburg Schools Superintendent Donald Ford ordered the displayremoved, since it might encourage students to read them. Books in thedisplay included Twain's "The Adventures of Tom Sawyer" and "TheAdventures of Huckleberry Finn", Bradbury's "Fahrenheit 451", "TheDiary of Ann Frank" -- and the Bible. (Harrisonburg Daily News-Record)

well done virginia and texas. i cant believe in this day and age tha t we are talking about banning books. this isnt the middle ages kids. let the religious faithful go to church and everyone else can go to a library. lets see which fills up first. let me say, as a parent, that if your children are influenced so completely by a book or a movie or a band then you arent doing your job as a parent. if you dont like these books then forbid your children to read them but dont tell me or my family what we can and cannot read. the religious right isnt the just is the loudest. the religious right should stick to what they do best....hating women and gays and jews. they seem to be the holy trinity of hate. every kid should be forced to read farenheit 451. it may stop them from being so easily influenced by things like music or groups or.......the church.

isnt it refreshing that fox has pulled the plug on o.j. i think he should have been allowed to tell how he murdered two people. i wouldnt have watched but he should be allowed. i'm not sure why fox pulled the plug seeing as this was going to be a ratings smash. maybe no advertisers wanted to go within a mile of this steaming pile. anyone who is shocked that fox would show this doesnt remember a group of midgets vs. an elephant or whatever they were running a couple of years ago. remember when fox was catching hell for the simpsons. now its their most respectable show.

enjoy your tuesday everyone.

Monday, November 20, 2006


A teenager whose "wicked lies" condemned an innocent man to 10 weeks in prison after falsely claiming she had been raped was locked up for six months today. Katie Davis, 18, had sex with Frank Chisholm at his house after meeting him as he was walking home from a night drinking on 6 March last year. But during a week-long trial at Lewes Crown Court, a jury heard she invented the false rape allegation as she feared she could be pregnant.

ok, look at the picture again. thats right drink it in. she should have been arrested for raping him. how much liquor do you have to drink for her to look pretty? or to even have sex with her? i'm not even sure she was always a woman. feared she could be pregnant? i fear she could be pregnant. please
dont let her add to the gene pool. shes 18? that must have been 18 of the hardest years ever. i cant quit looking at the picture. its hypnotic. her ugliness pulls you in like the tractor beam of the death star.

Courtney Love bares her soul in a new book, and she confirms to ABC News Radio that she'll also bare her body by posing naked in Britain's Pop magazine next month. "This is going to be the next controversy," she told ABC's Dave Alpert, confirming that she had posed for the picture several weeks ago and decided she didn't like the outfits that had been picked out for her. "Just give me some stockings and a pair of high heels and ... that's it," she said she had told the photographer.

i've seen the naked pictures and let me aint pretty. she looks like some used up crack whore they pulled off the street, threw some half assed makeup on her and tossed her in front of a camera. didnt kurt leave you enough money? for god sakes have a kid. think of her. i hope she gets alot of money for this shoot because without cash shes been a bit of a bore lately. why is it always a celeb i really dont care to see naked that is the quickest to lose her clothes.

ivanka trump is posing for every magazine she can these days. if you dont know her its donald trumps daughter. dont get me wrong, shes not bad, shes just not pinup material. if she wasnt the dons daughter then she would be selling these magazines door to door ...not posing in them. shes lisa kudrow with money. she actually kind of looks like donald but with better hair and bigger tits.

short week everyone, make room for turkey.

Friday, November 17, 2006

Would you even argue this..................

Prosecution of a Douglas County case involving alleged sexual contact with a dead deer may hinge on the legal definition of the word “animal.”
Bryan James Hathaway, 20, of Superior faces a misdemeanor charge of sexual gratification with an animal. He is accused of having sex with a dead deer he saw beside Stinson Avenue on Oct. 11.
A motion filed last week by his attorney, public defender Fredric Anderson, argued that because the deer was dead, it was not considered an animal and the charge should be dismissed.
“The statute does not prohibit one from having sex with a carcass,” Anderson wrote.
Judge Michael Lucci heard the motion Tuesday.
“I’m a little surprised this issue hasn’t been tackled before in another case,” Lucci said.
The Webster’s dictionary defines “animal” as “any of a kingdom of living beings,” Anderson said. If you include carcasses in that definition, he said, “you really go down a slippery slope with absurd results.”
When a person’s pet dog dies, he told Lucci, the person still refers to the dog as his or her dog, not a carcass.
“It stays a dog for some time,” Boughner said.
He referred to the criminal complaint, in which Hathaway told police he saw the dead deer in the ditch and moved it into the woods. Hathaway called it a dead deer, Boughner said, not a carcass.
“It did not lose its essence as a deer, an animal, when it died,” he said.
Anderson argued that the statute, which falls under the heading “crimes against sexual morality,” was meant to protect animals. That would be unnecessary in the case of a dead animal.
“If you look at the other crimes that are in this subsection, they all protect against something other than simply things we don’t like or things we find disgusting,” he said.
Other crimes in that subsection include incest, bigamy, public fornication and lewd and lascivious behavior.
Boughner said the focus of the statute was on punishing the human behavior, not protecting animals.
“It does not seem to draw a line between the living and the dead,” he said.
Interpreting the statute to exclude dead animals would also exclude freshly killed animals, Boughner said. That, he said, could lead to people who commit such acts with animals to kill them.
Lucci said he would render a decision by Hathaway’s next court appearance on Dec. 1.
The misdemeanor charge carries a maximum penalty of nine months in jail and a fine of up to $10,000. If convicted, Hathaway could serve a prison term of up to two years because of a previous conviction. In April 2005, Hathaway pleaded no contest to one felony charge of mistreatment of an animal for the shooting death of Bambrick, a 26-year-old horse, to have sex with the animal.

there are so many things wrong here its hard for me to get all my thoughts straight. why would you even want to go to court. once your caught wouldnt you beg the cops to shoot you and bury you and not tell anyone what you were doing? wouldnt you beg the cops to charge you with something less offensive...say like pedophilia? you can just imagine him saying " look shoot me guys and tell them i killed a kid, please". and how hard does his lawyer have to bite his lip not to laugh while using the carcass defense while his client sits there acting all righteous. what lawyer would want this case. how bad do you want money to defend this piece of shit. i hope his lawyer is like lionel hutz on the simpsons.....

Lionel Hutz: Well, the judge kind of had it in for me ever since I accidentally ran over his dog. Actually, replace "accidentally" with "repeatedly," and replace "dog" with "son."

i think if this lawyer gets him off he should have to live in the lawyers house for one year. i'm sure when he comes home and this guy has killed his kid and is having sex with it he can refer to his child as the carcass. this wasnt a one time thing. read the last sentence. he killed a horse before to have sex with it. i guess a dead horse doesnt complain.

Pop singer Britney Spears' estranged hubby Kevin Federline has reportedly threatened to go public with the couples honeymoon sex tapes if she fails to make a hefty payout to him and hand custody of their two sons. Britney fears the raunchy footage will destroy her wholesome image unless she caves in to his demands for a £16million payoff and custody of their children Sean Preston, one, and Jayden James, eight weeks.

i'm not sure that i wouldnt rather see the movie of the guy having sex with the dead deer. this guy signed, what everyone is reporting, to be a bulleet proof pre-nup with brit. hes going to walk away with about 300k. that might seem like alot to you and i but to a guy whos , reportedly, gone through 30 million of brits money in two years.....that aint enough. good luck kevin, your fifteen minutes of fame is down to about two.

ok everyone. i'm leanin' heavy on the end of the week. enjoy your weekend.

Thursday, November 16, 2006

He may be retarded......................

Last night CNN’s Larry King confessed to Roseanne Barr that he’s never used the Internet. King expressed doubt that the Internet was a viable political medium because “there’s 80 billion things on it.” When Barr said she liked the Internet, King acknowledged that “I’ve never done it, never gone searching.”
Barr said King would love the internet if he tried it. King replied, “I wouldn’t love it. What do you punch little buttons and things?” Barr even offered to show King how to use the Internet. King declined.

you would think that someone two hundred years old would have learned to use a computer by now. i dont understand people who are proud to have never used a computer. the sales manager where i work proudly proclaims that he has never used a computer. hes in his fifties...he too old to learn. well, how does it feel to be dumber that a three year old. three year olds can use a computer. how would a grown man look at porn without a pc. sure its good for keeping in touch, holding and filing your music, keeping your schedule organized but it was made for porn. its a custom fit as far as i'm concerned. old people who cant work a vcr can use a computer. so to all of you who are proud that you havent used a computer..............congratulations numbnuts, your as smart as larry king.

These two are definitely retarded..........
Two men decided to settle a long-running feud in an Apopka Wal-Mart parking lot Saturday morning.One was grazed with a bullet. One was sprayed with Mace. Both ended up in the Orange County Jail, police said."What they were thinking, I have no idea," said Apopka police Sgt. Jerome Miller. "It's just strange."Frank J. Lukasik, 48, of Longwood was arrested on a charge of aggravated battery after police said he shot Paul B. Goldman in the dispute.Goldman, 47, of Orlando, was arrested on a charge of battery causing bodily harm after authorities said he sprayed the chemical at Lukasik.Both men told police they knew each other only from arguing for six years over the CB radio airwaves.According to the police report, Lukasik announced on the radio early Saturday that he was going to the Wal-Mart on U.S. Highway 441 to buy a gift.Goldman replied he would be there, "to settle their dispute and that he would have something for him [Lukasik]," the report said.About 7:30 a.m., a witness reported seeing Lukasik walk to Goldman's truck with his hands in his pockets. Goldman got out of his vehicle, and the two men began arguing.Lukasik told police he only pulled out the .380-caliber Colt and fired toward Goldman when the man sprayed him with Mace.The witness said Lukasik took out the gun first but only fired after Goldman pulled out the spray. Miller said that Goldman had been hiding the can behind his back, making it unclear what his weapon was."He [Lukasik] had no idea what he was facing," Miller said. "Neither did the other guy."Lukasik walked back to his car and put the gun away, then went to a store security officer and said he had just shot someone, according to the report. He then waited for police to arrive.Apopka Fire took Goldman to Orlando Regional Medical Center, where he was treated briefly for a head cut, from the bullet grazing his scalp.Goldman then returned to the parking lot to talk to police, according to the report. He said he had told Lukasik he wanted to settle their dispute at Wal-Mart but used the spray only after he saw the other man had a weapon.Police found the Colt and a .40-caliber Glock handgun in Lukasik's car. They also took a concealed-weapon permit that Goldman had

it was the heady days of my youth. the song "convoy" was playing from my record player. i dance around in my bell bottomed polyester pants and my platform shoes. that right it was 1974 and that was the last time that i fought over anything said on the cb. i thought that they were gone. the craze died in 1975 ......just like these two should have. i dont even think truckers use them anymore. it reminds me of the idiot in my neighborhood . his name was tommy love. that alone would have garnered him some asswhippings but on top of it he was a world class geek and asshole. nobody liked tommy (including his parents i suspected). tommy got a cb unit, a base unit and put an antennae on his roof. tommy could talk to people for many miles. he also sat in his room for hours talking on that thing. we used to sneek up to his window and cut the antennae wire so that he would sit and listen for hours nothing. nothing was as fun as seeing him and saying something to the effect of "slow day on the cb tommy"? he'd blather on about how the low clouds must affecting his tranmissions and it would take about a week for him to catch on and repair the cable......until we cut it again. tommy is now a mall cop.

just thought you needed to know some more shit today.

If your not a st louis cardinal then shut up........

VATICAN CITY (Reuters) - A senior Vatican cardinal on Tuesday condemned the building of walls between countries to keep out immigrants and said Washington's plan to build a fence on the U.S.-Mexican border was part of an "inhuman program".
Cardinal Renato Martino made his comments at a news conference presenting Pope Benedict's message for the Roman Catholic Church's World Day of Migrants and Refugees, in which the Pope called for more laws to help immigrants integrate.
"Speaking of borders, I must unfortunately say that in a world that greeted the fall of the Berlin Wall with joy, new walls are being built between neighborhood and neighborhood, city and city, nation and nation," said Martino, head of the Vatican's Council for Justice and Peace.

one wonders if this cardinal check with the cardinal in charge of vatican security. open up the vatican to the homeless then call me. of course , if anyone would know about fences and inhumanity it would be our pope. training at a nazi prison camp will give you some insight...or so i'm told. the vatican is one of the most secure places in the world and they think our borders are inhumane? hey vatican, why dont you sell some priceless artwork that you own and help the poor and homeless in the third world countries you control. they could use that more than you telling them not to use birth control.

"On the November 13 edition of his nationally syndicated radio show, Michael Savage declared that "[t]he radical homosexual agenda will not stop until religion is outlawed in this county," adding that gay people "threaten your very survival." Savage also stated that homosexuals are "all not nice decorators" and warned: "Gay marriage is just the tip of the iceberg. They want full and total subjugation of this society to their agenda.""

lets look at this honestly. if it wasnt for religion nobody would care about gays at all. where else but so called "holy books"( ie: the koran, the bible) is it written that gays are bad. do gays bother you at all? i mean, do they stop you on the street and try to convert you? it doesnt happen to me. maybe i should be a little insulted that they dont want me but that a story for another day. if your worried about a certain group of people and want to outlaw them...start with the mormons. they are always bothering me when i'm out. as you may imagine i'm not as flattered that they want me. michael savage is an asshole. you only need to listen to his show for about a minute to see that.

its thursday everyone, enjoy yourselves and try not to be gay (unless you are then try not to be straight.....i guess).

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Vampires? maybe.............

ok, who would have guessed their husbands were vampires. i have never seen two broads clean up better (and faster) once they dumped the guys. two broads that used to be hot and then went into the stage where even i wouldnt do them and now.....i'd do them. i guess losing about 150 lbs of worthless fat will do that for you. the difference.......nobody wants to see a video of a crack whore whitney having sex with bobby brown, kevin says he is being offered 50million for his sex tapes with brittany. dont laugh, it may be his only talent.

why is it that anytime i'm driving around and i see a car that looks like it just went through a demo derby behind the wheel is a chick on her cell phone. lately everytime i see someone driving like an asshole they are on their cellphone. now i'm not one of those people who against talking on a phone in your car...just be good at it. most arent. and i i see you texting, i'm going to hit you. keep your eyes on the road douche bag. i'm longing for the days when chicks only put on makeup in the car while driving or the guy whos reading a paper while using his dick to steer. those were the days.

i'm also getting tired of the creep. no, not the guy down the street who lives with his dad and sister, whos 5' 8 and weighs 450, who forces the single schoolteacher who lives next door to him to put glass block windows in her basement because she caught him peeping. no not him. i'm talking about xmas creep. santa came to a mall in the burg last weekend. the oldies station is starting to play xmas music 24/7 until xmas. cant you bastards wait until after thanksgiving. cant you just give me a little time before i have to rush into this miserable, degrading, tortorous season of peace. i'm afraid to tell the one secretary here at my work because she will start playing that station......loud. look, i dont need to here wilson/phillips ruin another xmas standard. if i wanted to here them sing poorly i would get their first cd. i'd rather here those barking dogs do jingle bells that faith hill give her version of silent night. new xmas anything until, at the very least, thanksgiving day.
oh if you dislike my use of xmas instead ok christmas......too damn bad.

ok everyone, your half way done with the week. enjoy.

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Its not right....but i understand.......

(CBS) NEW YORK A Burger King restaurant manager is being charged with shooting a teenage boy dead the two argued, and the boy spit in the manager's face. Police say 16-year-old Shaka Walcott and 45-year-old Ronald Johannes had been arguing for more than a week. Police say the teenager returned to the Bronx Burger King Saturday night and was shot several times in the chest by the manager. Witnesses say Johannes also was injured in the fight and he left the scene while the teenager writhed on the ground. Police say Walcott was taken to a hospital, where he was pronounced dead. They said Johannes was bleeding from gunshot wounds when he stumbled back to his home, where they arrested him. Johannes is charged with murder, manslaughter and criminal possession of a weapon. Customers at the Burger King, however, said Johannes was difficult to deal with and used to kick them out.

FALL RIVER It all started with tacos and a movie and allegedly ended up as a hospital trip and testing positive for drugs. It does sound strange, but one man says it happened to him. He claims the soft tacos he bought at a fast food chain contained some sort of drug.Phillip Daggett says he grew ill after eating a soft taco he ordered from a Taco Bell on Plymouth Ave. in Fall River over the weekend.Daggett says he began feeling very strange shortly after eating one of his tacos. He claims he suffered from stomach cramps and numbness in his mouth and lips. He says his symptoms were so intense; he was almost not able to speak properly.Daggett says he checked another taco he bought and noticed a strange white powder in the meat.Worried about the mysterious powder and his slurred speech, Daggett says he went to the hospital where he allegedly tested positive for opiates, a form of morphine.Taco Bell is currently investigating Daggett's claim.

ok, i used to be a manager of fast food restaurant in a past life and while i dont agree with killing a customer....i understand. not only was there many a time i wanted to kill a customer i then wanted to kill the staff too. i know, your going to say "the customer is always right shoes". no they arent. its funny but the customer is almost always wrong. its uncanny how wrong they can be. this kid kept coming back to the store. he was asking for trouble. i think you leave the manager there...nothing bad will ever happen again. everyone is going to be polite and nice inside that least while hes working. of course killing a person cuts down on repeat business so the company might frown upon that.
as for the second story well i once had a kid who was catching flys and putting them on burgers. i caught him and fired him. he immediately went down the street to the mcdonalds where he was working within the hour. i called that manager and told him why i fired this little prick but he said help was hard to find and he would keep him. he lasted less than a month there. when his parents brought back his uniform they were pissed at me because i fired him. i sat them down and told them why he was fired and his dads response was "it doesnt matter. we just wanted him to work to develop some character". i sat there stunned that they werent pissed at the kid for messing with peoples food but alas they were not. i only hope his parents get shit on there food every time they go out. i try not to eat alot of fast food anymore.

well enjoy your tuesday everyone. go on, get back to work now.

Monday, November 13, 2006

The ridiculousness continues..........

u.s. bishops for the catholic church are getting together for a meeting in baltimore this week. they are going to tackle hard subjects like: persuading married catholics to reject contraceptives, gay catholics to refrain from sex altogether among other things. suprisingly only 4% of married cathoilics use the churches approved method of birth control. whats suprising is that 4% could be that stupid. i hope educated people in america wont fall for this crap like catholics in third world countries do. this is a recipe for the spread of std's, teen pregnancies and name it. what a stupid thing to push to your flock. the only reason to do this is to make more catholics. the church doesnt mind if you get pregnant (even if you cant take care of a baby). they just send over father o'malley who in his best irish accent tells you "aye laddie, this child will be a blessing upon your home". thats a a crock of shit. a child is hard goddamn work. not to father o'malley mind you (hes just waiting until they are school age...if you catch my drift). how do the raping priests feel about not using birth control? shouldnt the church work to get their priests to abstain altogether before they ask catholics to give up birth control. actually i encourage priests to use birth control at all times. as for gays abstaining from sex because the church says so....screw them. the gay priests arent stopping. the church doesnt recognize gays, wont let them take the sacraments....etc. hell, the church doesnt like gays at all. the church hates gays more than women...and thats saying alot. what the church does like is gays money. dinks....double income , no kids. gays have lots of disposable income to put in the collection basket. gays should tell the cathoilc church to pound off asap. what do we expect from an organization who has a former nazi as its leader, hides pedophiles within their ranks, encourages third world people to have more children....etc. the answer....not much.

finally dateline has had one of the pedophiles they caught kill themselves. i know that i mentioned last week that a station in pittsburgh made a guy kill himself by going after him in an expose'. that guy was a reverand and they caught him going into sex stores. that isnt against the law. dateline gets pedophiles. pedophiles are scum of the earth. i have no problem with them killing themselves. as a matter of fact i am all for them killing themselves. i encourage it. this guy saved the taxpayers tons of dough. i must admit that i am both thrilled and appalledat the
dateline episodes when they catch these guys. i love to watch them and then i realize how many guys like this are out there. if you have kids it scares you senseless to think about these predators.

oh well, now you know what i've been thinking about this weekend. lets hope the week gets better. enjoys your monday everyone.

Friday, November 10, 2006

Who says she cant get smarter..........

i must admit brittany looks good. she just lost about 150 lbs of useless fat. get it, kevin weighs about 150 and she lost about 150......ok you got it. the funniest part of all of this is that she told him with a text message.....while he was filming a segment for a music show in canada where he was telling them just how supportive she is of his work. i guess denial isnt just a river in egypt. in her defense he was just a useless, no talent parasite that was leaching off of her. rumors have it that he will go after custody of the kids so as to get more money from her. custody of the kids? she didnt trust him with keys to the house. he will come away from this with a hefty settlement which should keep him in dope and sneakers for a long time. meanwhile they cant sell tickets to his concerts and they cant even give them away either. his cd, playin with fire, open up this week on the charts at number 151 with sales of 6500 cds. holy shit, hulk hogans kid did better than that. well, so long kevin, your fifteen minutes are up. you were an expensive sperm more no less.

enjoy your friday everyone...i'm going to go do something to these pics of brit.

Thursday, November 09, 2006


A 44-year-old Saginaw man remains jailed today on charges of bestiality after he was seen engaged in sexual acts with a dead dog, Michigan State Police troopers said.
Ronald Kuch was arrested after police searched the area of Midland and Carter roads Friday for a man who ran away from a Bay County Animal Control officer. The entire incident was within view of a nearby day care center.
At his arraignment on Monday, Kuch demanded a preliminary examination in Bay County District Court. District Judge Craig Alston ordered him to remain jailed in lieu of $500,000 bond pending a hearing on the evidence Nov. 6.
Kuch is charged with crimes against nature and assaulting a law enforcement officer.
Troopers said a woman from the day care center called for animal control because there was a dead dog near the property that had been hit by a car several days earlier.
Before officers could arrive, the man showed up and began engaging in sexual acts with the dog, police said. The animal control officer also reported seeing Kuch involved in the sex act and as he approached him, Kuch shoved him away and ran off.
State troopers searched the area and found the man hiding in the attic of a nearby house.
Officers determined that the house belonged to the man's girlfriend and later learned that the dog, a black Labrador retriever, also belonged to the girlfriend. The dog had been dead for four or five days.
The official charge of crimes against nature carries a maximum penalty of 15 years in prison. If the person is a repeat offender, the maximum is life in prison.

ok class, who can pick out everything he did wrong....
1. first and foremost he had sex with a dog
2. and not a particularly freshly dead dog
3. and it was his girlfriends dead dog
4. and he performed the act on the side of a road
5. and it was in view of a daycare
well you passed that test. this guy should probably be put down like a dog. do you think his girl still wants him to "come a courtin" so to speak. what do you think she found most appalling
a. he had sex with a dog
b. it was her dog
c. it had been dead 4 or 5 days
heres a scenerio you might find amusing. hes in a jail cell. his roommate tells him all the lurid details of sex that hes had and then asks ronald to relate some of his stories. ronald regales him with stories of a bitch who likes it doggy style with shiny black hair. she howls while he does the act and when hes done he feeds her a bone. if bubba ever finds out that its a dog hes going to beat him to death in the shower. i'd like to watch that. i guess i never gave much thought to beastiality but does anyone else think the penalty is extreme. he would get out faster on a manslaughter charge. oh well, ronald i wish you luck though i think it might have run out this time.

enjoy your thursday everyone, i'm still basking in the warm glow of a democratic congress.

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Two of a kind.......

guess which jackass can pronounce nuclear?

Christmas comes early.........

well as i woke up this morning and put on cnn i realized that this election couldnt have gone much better. almost everyone i didnt want to win....didnt. now some of the people that won seem like douche bags too but i'll work on them next election.

rick santorum : it looks like the voters in pennsyltucky couldnt save you ricky. its time for you to get on with your lifes work. my only wish now is that his wife would have to get a job for them to support the twenty kids hes spawned.

mike veon : a pennsylvania legislator who was one of the most influential people in the state house. he voted for an illegal raise and then was the only legislator who would not vote to repeal it. more to the point ...he kept the money. he wouldnt give it back. he stole from us. now that hes out he should be prosecuted.

melissa hart : another pa state legislator from a rich republican district. she helped bush and co. form policy like badmouthing veterans who ran against republicans then , on her ads, mentioned how she cherished the veterans. i hope they all voted against her. i'm glad i wont have to look at her horse face anymore.

there are so many more like claire mccaskill winning for senate in missouri, dewine and strickland losing in ohio, allen losing in virginia, south dakota rejecting a tough abortion ban, arizona rejecting a gay marriage ban...etc. now this corrupt administration cant bullet train their agenda right through both houses. i think they should look into the corruption in the white house like they did with clinton. when clinton was raked across the coals he was just screwing some bimbo in a blue dress, bush is screwing all of america. i am as giddy as a schoolgirl this morning. i guess the sheeple finally woke up and we have a system of checks and balances again.

ok everyone get on with wednesday. its a happy least for me.

Monday, November 06, 2006

you decide.............

its sweeps time on local tv. this is the time when local news goes after sensational stories that are alot of bullshit your childs daycare filled with radiation? or do you know if a child predator is teaching your children?. they throw out these teasers trying to get people to watch their lame ass news when everyone knows that people are getting their news from the internet or cnn...etc. well the station in pittsburgh (kdka) went after the pastor of a presbyterian church here in the burg. they advertised that they had "conducted a monthlong investigation into reporrts of public and illegal sexual behavior by pastor dugan. promos were run for a month showing the reporter confronting the pastor regarding trips to an adult bookstore. last thursday they said the investigation "uncovered illicit, possibly illegal, activity by a local minister, activities which, at the very least, violated the rules of his denomination". again...possibly illegal. well theres no need to worry about it now because the pastor went to a motel and committed suicide. he od'd on ...get this.....aspirin and alcohol. i took alot of aspirin once and all i got was that i felt really good. the reality of this is that what good did it do. going to a bookstore is not illegal and even if he did something against the tenents of his religion ....who cares. it wasnt hurting the public. go after a politician tough guy. go after the catholic church (what they did really was illegal). this was senseless. it wasnt done to benefit the public. it was only done to raise the staions rating during sweeps week. nice job guys.

on a side note ...this is the same reporter who got his station in dallas sued by two cowboys after reporting that they molested a stripper who later recanted. his track record isnt sterling by any means.

i guess the bottom line on how i feel is that if your going to do an investigation go after something that benefits the public. picking on a guy like that is like shooting fish in a barrel. he had a wife and ruined their lives over something that wasnt even illegal and shouldnt be considered bad at all anyway. go on with your monday.

Friday, November 03, 2006

Couldnt happen to a nicer guy...........

The leader of the 30 million-member National Association of Evangelicals, a vocal opponent of same-sex marriage, resigned Thursday after being accused of paying for sex with a man in monthly trysts over the past three years.
The Rev. Ted Haggard, a married father of five who has been called one of the most influential evangelical Christians in the nation, denied the allegations. His accuser refused to share voice mails that he said backed up his claim.
Haggard also stepped aside as head of his 14,000-member New Life Church while a church panel investigates, saying he could "not continue to minister under the cloud created by the accusations."

live by the sword then you die by the sword (by sword i mean penis). its funny how many of these guys who are so against gays end up being gay. its that self hating gay thing. they are gay but having been told since birth that gays are the most horrible pewople in the world they end up hating themselves for something they have no control over. it just shows you how absurd these organized religions are. now he does admit taking the drugs and he does admit to getting massages but as for the gay sex...well.....he totally denies that. sure you did some drugs and had a guy massage you but you didnt have sex. sure, i believe you. NOT. if you did drugs and you admit it and you are sorry doesnt your religion actually command them to forgive you. getting a massage isnt a bad thing. why quit? because sucking the pee pee cant be forgiven by your church and even if they did how could you get up and preach aainst gays now. thats a conerstone of their message and i'm sure that explaining how your spearheading the war against those godless sodomites is a huge fundraiser. your no longer leading the've joined the other team. cant have that. the worst part of this si that the people who give to this church will continue to give regardless of this. the church will ask for even more money now that the devil has infiltrated their organization......and the sheeple will line up to donate.

i'm signing off to enjoy my saturday while not donating...have a good one

Thursday, November 02, 2006

Just shut up.........

ok, well the horror of halloween is over.......just in time for john kerry to come back and haunt the dems. he should just keep his trap shut. isnt there anyone in the dems who can act as a censor for for some of the party. there should be one guy who knows how to speak who should have to approve everything kerry says before he even thinks of opening his trap. just when the dems look like they are going to get some control back he has to go and give the republicants all the ammo they need. wayy to go john. i think theresa is ready to slap him now.

i find it funny that someone like melissa hart (a republican hack from a largely wealthy, republican part of the pittsburgh suburbs) says in her commercials that she cherishes all of our veterans. this is the same woman who helped dubya form his policy for the last know, the one where he badmouthed every democratic veteran. i guess she only cherishes the republican veterans. needless to say shes in a bit of a fight and the post gazette (pittsburghs only viable paper) endorses her opponent.

it looks like ricky santorum (aka little hitler) is about to have to get on with his lifes work. what will he do when he cant suck at the teat of the government for his income. i dont count him out completely yet becausei never underestimate the sheeple from the middle of this state. if you know pennsylvania the you understand the philadelphia is in the east, pittsburgh is in the west and arkansas is in the middle. rick is strong in the arkansas part of our state where he has convinced them that a vote for democrats will not only allow the terrorists to get your home address but will allow jews, uppity negroes and others of color to move into your neighborhood where they will immediately impregnate their lilly white , vigin daughters.

happy thursday get to work.

Friday, October 27, 2006

I knew this was coming.......

Pennsylvania Senator Rick Santorum's re-election campaign has pulled most of its television ads from broadcast television and is now mostly advertising on cable.
A Franklin and Marshall College political science professor says this is typically a sign of a cash-flow problem. He says it doesn't make sense to give up advertising on major network shows if a campaign can afford it.
But Santorum media consultant John Brabender says that's not so.
He says advertising on channels such as CNN, A&E and the Discovery Channel is a strategic move to reach undecided voters.
The news comes after the Santorum has released a controversial television ad that shows a photo of Democratic challenger Bob Casey's face next to a mushroom cloud. It accuses him of supporting policies that hurt national security.
The ad said North Korea and Iran are close to having nuclear missiles that could reach the United States. It said Casey opposes bunker-busting bombs and deploying a missile defense system.
The Casey campaign said that is not true.
The Santorum campaign said it has purchased $700,000 worth of ad time. But the Casey campaign accused his opponent of making a small "phantom" buy to get publicity.

i told you this was coming. the republicants are going to tell you that the democrats are actually going to set off nuclear weapons for the terrorists. the democrats will actually hold your daughters down while the tewrrorists rape them. this is all bullshit needless to say but its this kind of attack that they are so good at. its like the last election when we allowed them to go after war heroes when none of the administration served a day in the military anywhere. get out and vote them it wont work this time.

and in a related story.................
In an Ironic Twist of Events, NBC and The CW Television Network Refuse to Air Ads for Documentary Focusing on Freedom of Speech
NBC and The CW Television Network have taken a stand against the Dixie’s Chicks new documentary “Shut Up & Sing” a behind-the-scenes look at the incredible political and media fallout that occurred in 2003 after the Dixie Chicks lead singer Natalie Maines said that she was "ashamed the president of the United States is from Texas.
NBC responded to a clearance report submitted by the Weinstein Company’s media agency saying that the network “cannot accept these spots as they are disparaging to President Bush.
Famed litigator David Boies stated, “It is disappointing and troubling that NBC and The CW would refuse to accept an otherwise appropriate ad merely because it is critical of President Bush."
Harvey Weinstein, co-chairman of The Weinstein Company stated, “It’s a sad commentary about the level of fear in our society that a movie about a group of courageous entertainers who were blacklisted for exercising their right of free speech is now itself being blacklisted by corporate America. The idea that anyone should be penalized for criticizing the president is sad and profoundly un-American.”

patriotism is not defined as going along with everything the government a matter of fact patriotism demands that you hold the government to a higher standard and that you do question them at every turn. we the people are their employers. we should have the right to hire and fire them and to ask them to explain their work and demand that they do it the way we would like it done. this is a sad day for america. this is the kind of stuff you read about happening in the mid east or north korea or some other fifth world country. i guess the land of the free doesnt mean the same thing to this administration.

glad we could end the week on a good note. happy weekend everyone

Thursday, October 26, 2006

Maybe the founding fathers had it right...........

Nicaragua's legislature is expected today to approve a tough law that outlaws all forms of abortion, including those procedures intended to save the life of a pregnant woman.
The measure has been supported by most major political parties ahead of the Nov. 5 presidential election, as they seek to win over voters in this overwhelmingly Roman Catholic country. Leaders of the Catholic Church in Nicaragua helped draft the bill and have mobilized followers to support it.
Since the late 1980s, two other Latin American countries have adopted similar measures — El Salvador and Chile. At least 34 countries, mostly in Africa and the Middle East, prohibit all abortions, without exception, according to the Center for Reproductive Rights, a U.S.-based nonprofit advocacy group.
The new law would establish prison sentences of six to 30 years for women who abort their pregnancies and the doctors who perform the procedure
Women's groups in Nicaragua charge that the proposed law is a cynical preelection ploy that panders to the influence of the Catholic Church. The text of the law, they note, is almost identical to a church proposal drafted this year.
"The worst message of this proposed law is that the lives of women don't matter to this president, or to the government or the church," said Marta Maria Blandon, Central American director of Ipas, a U.S.-based reproductive rights group.
Ambassadors from some of the countries that donate millions of dollars in aid to Nicaragua, including Sweden and Finland, wrote to the legislators this week urging them not to rush to approve the measure. Nicaragua is one of the poorest nations in the hemisphere and depends heavily on foreign aid.

congratulations to the catholic church. they are going to get some uneducated third world people who dont have a pot to piss in and live in a horribly overcrowded country to vote for a law that will make them poorer and the country even more overcrowded. thats not the concern of the church as long as those kids are all raised catholic and give the church some money. the priests dont live in squalor..i guarantee that.
According to the World Development Indicators Database (2001) Nicaragua is a low-income country with an average Gross National Income (GNI) of less than US $745 per person. that bears repeating.....$745 per year. the catholic church should be selling off some of their priceless artifacts to help these people instead of forming laws. i wonder if the church is taxed there. by the way $745 per person per year makes them a low income country (no shit) while Bolivia, Guatemala and Honduras are lower middle-income countries with a GNI per person ranging from US $746-2,975.
wow, arent they lucky.
and who wouldnt want their country mentioned in the same vein as countries in africa and the mid east. those arent third world coutries ....they are fifth world.
this all goes back to my belief that the catholic church hates women and that they have no right meddling in the business of government.

ok, its thursday. get on with your work. as usual comments are always welcome.