Wednesday, December 01, 2004

Wednesdays news

December 1, 2004 -- ANNA Benson, the former model and stripper who is married to Mets pitcher Kris Benson, vowed yesterday that if she ever catches her husband cheating, she'll have sex with all his teammates.
The buxom brunette, proclaimed "Baseball's Hottest Wife" by FHM magazine, said on Howard Stern's nationally syndicated radio show:
"I told him [Kris] — because that's the biggest thing in athletics, they cheat all the time — I told him, cheat on me all you want. If you get caught, I'm going to s- - -w everybody on your entire team — coaches, trainers, players. I would do everybody on his whole team."
"Mike Piazza just did a back flip," Stern said, egging her on. "Even the coaches? What about, like, the bat boys?"
"Everybody would get a turn," Anna pledged. "If my husband cheated on me and embarrassed me like that, I will embarrass him more than he could ever imagine."
Even Robin Quivers got in on it: "What about groundskeepers?"
"If I'm lining them up," Anna said, "I'll [also] circle into other teams. Whatever team he's playing, I will s- - -w all them too."
Stern asked: "What if your husband, the great pitcher, comes to you and says, 'Honey, I need two women at the same time. I need you to do that for me?' "
Anna replied, "You know, if that's what he came to me and said that he needed, then that's what he would get, because he is my entire universe. I adore my husband. He's a saint . . . he took me out of hell" — a reference to her years on her own.
She added that she and Benson are so into each other, they've had sex in many of the stadiums where he's pitched, including PNC Park and Three Rivers Stadium in Pittsburgh.
"We're very busy because we have three children," she said. "You know what, whenever we get the time to do it, we do it. If it happens to be there, that's where we do it.
"I take total care of him," Anna continued, taking credit for the negotiations for Benson's most recent contract that guarantees him $22.5 million over three years, with an option for 2008 that would push the total package to $29.5 million.
"I helped with negotiations . . . I went back and forth a lot with that. He didn't even have anything to do with that. I did that deal . . . I laid out a lot of the terms."

i listened to this interview and have heard her on other interviews and have come to one conclusion..............what an asshole. she isnt that hot to be saying everything she does. kris ought to wear some pants that zipper in the front instead of the side. grow some balls kris and tell this slut to shut up. we do this and we do that....what the hell is she talking about. he got the contract because he can pitch. she had nothing to do with it. the guy was a first round pick, a millionaire, and he marries a stripper. he's no rocket scientist. pittsburgh is glad that the two of them are in new york. congrats mets, you just paid 27 million for a 10-10 pitcher.
Posted on Tue, Nov. 30, 2004
Man Gets Probation in Botched CastrationAssociated Press
PITTSBURGH - A man who botched the castration of a transgendered woman will spend the next three years on probation. "I have no intention of doing this again to animals or humans," Douglas Lenhart, 49, told Allegheny County Judge John Zottola on Monday. "I'm completely out of this. Completely done."
Zottola sentenced Lenhart to jail time he had already served and will let him serve his probation in Kansas City, Kan., where he now lives.
In July, Lenhart acknowledged trying to castrate Catherine Watson, 46. Watson was born with nonfunctioning male genitals and has lived as a woman since age 9, Lenhart's defense attorney James Wymard said.
Lenhart pleaded guilty to aggravated assault and practicing medicine without a license.
Lenhart had said Watson was "desperate" to find someone to perform the surgery and he thought he could do it because of his experience castrating animals on a farm.

is this really the kind of surgery that you allow a friend to do. you and a buddy are sitting around , drinking some beers and you decide that this would be a great time to be castrated. this watson guy/girl should be put in jail for criminal stupidity.
Dec 1 2004
A TEACHER who sexually abused schoolgirls in his camper van told them he was giving a biology lesson.
Ian Millar persuaded the girls' parents he was taking them out to learn about wildlife.
In one incident, he told a girl to kick him as hard as she could in the testicles.
He also took pictures of one girl while she was semi-naked after making her swim in a loch.
The biology teacher, who worked at a Perthshire school, admitted subjecting two girls to a catalogue of sexual abuse.
Millar attacked the girls, who were as young as eight, across Scotland during a 15-year period.
Sandy Mitchell, prosecuting, said Millar had ingratiated himself into the girls' families.
He said Millar climbed naked into bed with one of the girls and stripped off on several occasions before making her touch him.
Millar also climbed into bed with the second girl while staying at Blair Drummond Safari Park, near Stirling.
Mr Mitchell said: 'He told her s he was to get a biology lesson.
'One morning, she had to kick him in the testicles as hard as she could.'
Millar, 68, of Liberton Brae, Edinburgh, admitted seven separate offences of child abuse. A further 10 similar charges were dropped by the Crown.
One victim, now 34, said: 'All I hope is that he will be sent to jail. We trusted him.'
Millar will be sentenced next year.

Man pleads guilty in cybersex case Kirsty ScottTuesday November 30, 2004The Guardian A man has pleaded guilty to having "cybersex" with a 13-year-old girl in what is believed to be the first case of its kind in Scotland.
Alloa sheriff court was told that Neil Ross, 31, of Dennistoun in Glasgow, conducted a five-month internet relationship with the girl, having told her he was 19. He watched on a live webcam link as the girl, from Clackmannanshire, posed naked in what the court heard was a sexually explicit manner.
She would also watch him performing a solo sex act over the same link. Ross was arrested at his former home in Dundee, after the girl's parents intercepted text messages between him and the child. They contacted Central Scotland police, who examined the girl's computer.
In court yesterday, Ross admitted using lewd, indecent and libidinous practices and behaviour towards the girl, who cannot be named for legal reasons. He could face up to five years in jail.

i just wanted to put both of these stories together so i could is going on in scotland. england shipping all their repressed pervs there. i guess thesheep just arent as attractive as they used to be. and what kind of sick bastard asks a woman to kick him in the balls as hard as she can. throw them in jail .....toss away the key
Comatose mother gives birth to baby girl 2004-11-29 20:32:47
URUMQI, Nov. 29 (Xinhuanet) -- A young woman who has been in a coma for more than seven months gave birth to a healthy baby girl Saturday China's westernmost Xinjiang Uygur Autonomous Region.
It was a Cesarean birth and the baby weighed 2,400 grams, slightly underweight but apparently physically sound, said doctorswith the No. 1 People's Hospital in Aksu Prefecture, where the baby was born Saturday afternoon.
The baby is fed on infant formula as her 27-year-old mother SunXiaohong has no milk, local Xinjiang Daily reported on Monday.
Sun, a textile worker in Aksu, was knocked down by a taxi on April 14. She suffered from a broken leg and brain damages that left her in a prolonged coma. In mid August, doctors found throughan ultrasound test that she was already six months pregnant and the fetus was growing well.
For a time experts were concerned over whether the baby was to be born healthy or deformed, as the expectant mother had taken many doses of medicine and received numerous radiation therapies. Some doctors even recommended an abortion.
But the fetus finally survived, as its father Liu Yuanping insisted the baby should be born.
Liu and Sun have been married for seven years, but reportedly had no plans for a baby since they were not financially prepared. The couple were apparently unaware of the coming baby when the accident occurred.
Liu expressed thanks on Sunday to all the kind-hearted people in Aksu, who have shown affection, care and concern for the motherand baby and helped foot most of Sun's medical bills.

this being china the mother was immediately unplugged from all life support and the female child was killed. they are such a compassionate people.

Tuesday, November 30, 2004

what a wonderful world it would be........

November 30, 2004 -- An 35-year-old teacher, "stressed out" by her job instructing adults at a Bronx job center, apparently tried to kill herself yesterday by jumping in front of a subway train — but miraculously survived with only a broken ankle, police said.
The woman, whose name was withheld, leaped onto the northbound tracks of the No. 5 express at the busy 59th Street/Lexington Avenue station at 7:50 a.m.
Witnesses said she landed between the two rails and the train passed over her.
The woman, who teaches at the South Bronx Job Corps, was taken to Bellevue Hospital.

she must be one great teacher....she couldnt even jump in front of a train right. or better yet....dont teach in the bronx. how bad a student do you have to be to make your teacher try to kill herself?
Dad Dies After Accidentally Shooting Son At Deer Feeder
Man Apparently Thought Son Was Deer
POSTED: 10:47 pm EST November 29, 2004
KEYSTONE HEIGHTS, Fla. -- A father accidentally shot and killed his son at a deer feeder and then died of a heart attack, authorities said Monday.
The Medical Examiner's Office in Jacksonville confirmed that Ronald McKenna Jr., 33, died from what appeared to be an accidental gunshot wound. His father, Ronald McKenna Sr., 54, died of a heart attack.
The younger McKenna went into the woods on Thanksgiving Day near Keystone Heights to check on a deer feeder, Clay County sheriff's spokeswoman Mary Justino said. His father saw movement around the feeder that he reportedly thought was a deer. He fired one shot, killing his son. The elder McKenna then suffered a fatal heart attack.
Justino said the investigation continued, but investigators believed there was no evidence of foul play.

let me explain..............uugghhhhh...............fuck it , there is a joke here but i cant think of it right now. something to do with wearing orange maybe or that he shouldnt have been wearing the antler hat his mom made him last christmas.
Mon 29 Nov 2004
Boy of 8 under investigation for allegedly assaulting headteacher SHAN ROSS
POLICE confirmed last night that they are investigating a classroom assault by an eight-year-old school pupil which resulted in a female headteacher being treated in hospital for back injuries. Margaret Henderson, 47, the headteacher of Pinewood Primary in Drumchapel, Glasgow, was teaching a class of 33 pupils last Wednesday afternoon when the boy allegedly attacked her. Mrs Henderson was pushed over and fell against classroom furniture. An ambulance took the experienced teacher to Glasgow Royal Infirmary for treatment. She has since been released but has not yet returned to teaching duties.

whats the odds of this kid passing. on the upside you'll know all the answers next year. thank god the scottish dont have a temper. the kids defense was that the young man wasnt thinking properly due to all the whiskey he had consumed during lunch.
Boy Allegedly Forced To Rub Feces On Himself As Punishment
Boy's Mother Faces Misdemeanor Charge For Not Trying To Stop Incident
POSTED: 4:04 pm EST November 23, 2004
UPDATED: 4:25 pm EST November 23, 2004
INDIANA COUNTY, Pa. -- A punishment for a 7-year-old Indiana County boy lands a man in court. And Tuesday night his mother is defending the punishment.
Diane Blair's boyfriend, Kenneth Fleegle, is charged with forcing her 7-year-old son to rub feces on himself as a form of punishment.
Outside a district justice's office in Blairsville, WPXI-TV asked the mother to explain why the alleged incident happened while she watched.
Blair said, "I would technically not do it myself, but I would do it a different way."
The incident allegedly happened in the Blairsville house she shared with Fleegle.
Blair faces a misdemeanor charge of child endangerment for allegedly not trying to stop Fleegle.
Blair said, "Just because I didn't stop it, I shouldn't be condemned. You know what I mean?"
Police said it took an hour to get the boy to talk about the incident.
They said he told them Fleegle was mad at him and made him smear feces all over himself.
Fleegle and Blair waved their cases to court.
Police said the boy is living with a foster parent while the case makes it way through the courts.
A neighbor expressed sympathy for the mother and child.
Marlene Bongianino said, "Sometimes I feel sorry for her, but on the other hand, you have to take care of your children."
In a court document, Blairsville police said Fleegle told them he was tired of the little boy "going to the bathroom on the floor where he wasn't supposed to go."
Indiana County Children and Youth Services is handling the case.
Meanwhile, Fleegle is being held in the Allegheny County Jail.

let me explain pennsylvania for everyone who doesnt live here. in the east you have philadelphia. in the west you have pittsburgh. in between you have arkansas. just because you didnt stop it you shouldnt be condemned.........what are you crazy? no birth control and a sixth grade education is a terrible thing.
Man Blames Ruined Business On Unwanted Faxes
POSTED: 9:34 am EST November 29, 2004
UPDATED: 9:44 am EST November 29, 2004
CHARLESTON, W.Va. -- A West Virginia man says unwanted faxes ruined his business.
Wade Peer says his automotive accessory business was doomed by a flood of misdirected faxes from one of North America's largest banks.
He's suing the Canadian Imperial Bank of Commerce in federal court for preventing him from operating his Maryland-based company called Allstar Sportsline Products.
Peer claims mis-directed faxes tied up his five phone lines to the point at which he couldn't get or make phone calls.
He says customers started to think the company had gone out of business and stopped trying to call to place orders.
According to the lawsuit, the bank was alerted to the problem in March 2002, but the faxes did not begin to decrease until August 2002 -- a year after they began.
Peer is asking for more than $3 million in damages and legal fees.

this is an unhealthy mixture of west virginia and canada. the cannucks vs. the schmucks. hey canada , want a little advice? dont try for dna evidence in west how good could your company possibly be if faxes undermined your endeavor. i guess changing his number never crossed his tiny litle mind.
No problem ... Rebecca Loos collected pig semen on British television / ReutersPig pleasuring OKFrom correspondents in London30nov04IN ONE of their more delicate rulings of recent years, British television watchdogs ruled today that a pig sexually pleasured on television by a minor celebrity did not feel degraded by the experience.Dozens of viewers complained about the episode in the reality-TV show The Farm, in which a series of celebrities were sent to do tough work with agricultural crops and animals.
The audience were treated to the sight of Rebecca Loos, the self-proclaimed ex-lover of England football captain David Beckham, stimulating the boar for 10 minutes to produce a flask of semen.
Many viewers complained to the government's Office of Communications (Affectum) that this was "akin to bestiality", while a leading animal charity condemned the scenes as "morbid and sordid".
But in a ruling released today, Affectum cleared broadcaster Channel Five of breaching decency standards, saying the procedure was perfectly normal.
"The task performed by Rebecca Loos is one that occurs regularly on UK farms. It was properly supervised by a qualified veterinary surgeon and was carried out for a genuine purpose - to artificially inseminate the pigs on the 'celebrity farm'," the ruling said.
It added: "We don't believe that the scene was degrading or harmful to the boar."

the british office of communications has nothing on the fcc. thank god a handjob wasnt degrading or harmful to the pig. i sure wouldnt want to degrade a proud animal like a pig. you know, the animal that sleeps and eats in its own filth. hey i would let rebecca loos give me some hand release on tv every day and i promise i wont feel degraded or harmed.

Monday, November 29, 2004

I'm tired of saying this but i guess i will one more time.....

November 19, 2004
Third of Americans Say Evidence Has Supported Darwin's Evolution Theory
Almost half of Americans believe God created humans 10,000 years ago
by Frank Newport
Only about a third of Americans believe that Charles Darwin's theory of evolution is a scientific theory that has been well supported by the evidence, while just as many say that it is just one of many theories and has not been supported by the evidence. The rest say they don't know enough to say. Forty-five percent of Americans also believe that God created human beings pretty much in their present form about 10,000 years ago. A third of Americans are biblical literalists who believe that the Bible is the actual word of God and is to be taken literally, word for word.

only one third biblical literalists? what does that mean? let me tell you, its people who have been force fed religion and cannot accept any other thought. i mean it is a work of fiction. the catholic church only put in the bible thoughts which agreed with their doctrine. matthew, mark, luke and john....what happened to the other eight. is it too far fetched to believe that their stories might have differed slightly than what we have been force fed. look i'm not trying to shit on your faith but at least be open to another thought. thank god the church didnt tell you to read harry potter or you would honor a geeky kid in glasses. it really makes you wonder what else you could make these rubes believe.

I took the holiday off..........but look what happened

November 29, 2004 -- Penniless pornographer Al Goldstein has "screwed" up his life some more — after being caught shoplifting books from a Barnes & Nobles yesterday, police said.
And they weren't even dirty books.
Goldstein, 68, the ex-publisher of Screw Magazine, was stopped by security on his way out of the chain's Lincoln Center store at 1972 Broadway, with three books, a police source said.
They were health books "including at least one on colitis," the source said.
Goldstein was charged with petit larceny.
His life has been spiraling downward the last couple of years.
In March 2002, he was found guilty of harassing his former secretary by publishing her name in Screw.
He has recently been sleeping at the Bellevue homeless shelter after being fired from his job as a greeter at the Second Avenue Deli. His financial woes have been brought on in part by the bankruptcy of Milky Way Productions, the corporate entity that controlled Screw and his long-running cable show, "Midnight Blue."
In June, Goldstein was forced to sell his Pompano Beach, Fla., mansion.

al goldstein is and was always an asshole. cmon the guys the editor of a rag named "screw". its not even a good magazine. i have nothing against porn, hell i really like it, but this guy is a jerk . he probably did this for the publicity. screw you al.
Defense lawyer: Hunter killings a 'whydunit'
(CNN) -- The killings of six hunters last weekend in northwestern Wisconsin is more of a "whydunit" than a "whodunit," a lawyer for the suspect in those shootings said Sunday.
Chai Vang, a 36-year-old man from St. Paul, Minnesota, is accused of killing six people and wounding two others at a hunting ground in Sawyer County, Wisconsin.
Attorney Steven Kohn told reporters in Milwaukee that Vang's defense lawyers are looking at "potential mental health and mental responsibility defenses" in addition to a defense on the facts of the case.
Sawyer County Sheriff James Meier said the shootings were prompted by a dispute over a tree stand on private property on the first weekend of Wisconsin's deer-hunting season.
But Vang, a Laotian-born U.S. citizen, told investigators that he was subjected to ethnic slurs and was fired on first before he shot back, according to court papers released last week."This certainly does not seem to be a whodunit. It seems to be a whydunit," said Kohn, who also represented the man who killed serial murderer Jeffrey Dahmer in 1994.
Vang faces an initial court appearance Tuesday in Hayward, Wisconsin, where he has been held on suspicion of murder and attempted murder since his arrest November 21. Bail has been set at $2.5 million, and Kohn said he expects formal charges to be filed Monday.
Vang's daughter, Kia Vang, said she has not spoken to her father since his arrest and was shocked by the allegations against him.
"I don't know what to say, but the truth will eventually come out either one way or another," she said.
Vang was a member of the Hmong minority in Laos. He came to the United States in 1980 and worked as a truck driver in St. Paul, which is home to the largest Hmong community in the United States. He is married and has six children.
Vang's only known brush with the law stemmed from a 2001 domestic dispute in which he allegedly waved a handgun at his wife. His wife declined to press charges in that incident, the sheriff's department said.
Those killed last week were residents of Barron County, Wisconsin, in the northwestern corner of the state, and local authorities said they were respected community members. But defense lawyer James Mentkowski said Vang was "as loved and respected in his community as are the other individuals who were involved in this incident."
"There are many questions in the Hmong community as to how an individual as respected and loved as Mr. Vang was -- as to how he found himself in a situation that caused him to respond in the way that he did," Mentkowski said. "The Hmong community is looking to the trial process to resolve these issues."
Tuesday's hearing is slated to be held in a basement of the sheriff's department headquarters, Kohn said. But he said he was not aware of any safety concerns or threats that might have prompted the hearing to be held there rather than in a courtroom.
Sawyer County deputies have been "nothing but professional and cooperative," he said.
"I think that in being professional, they are taking all safeguards that they possibly can, given the physical safeguards they have to deal with."

who didnt see this coming. we will probably never know the truth but it really isnt too far fetched to imagine some hunters being rude and calling names. they just happened to pick on the hmong rambo. this is really a shame. as expected everyone involved was a model citizen and deeply loved in the community. why is it that every time someone slips a cog the news runs to interview the neighbors and they always say that he was quiet, a wonderful person, always willing to lend a hand......etc. sorry vang , you shot six gotta fry.
-- Cell phones can be helpful when you get into a jam, but this beats all: A Manhattan wine store owner says his phone saved him from a deadly attack by a bear.
Terrence Bae was picnicking with his girlfriend in the woods in Delaware last spring when a huge, scary bear burst upon them.
In a panic, the 35-year-old asked his girlfriend what he should do and she said, "Play dead!"
Bae knew that wouldn't work, so, in desperation, he patted down his pockets for a weapon -- but all he had was a cell phone.
By accident, he hit a button on the side of the phone which triggered a mechanical beeping noise. It seemed to scare the bear, so Bae held his phone up towards the animal and hit the button repeatedly while screaming.
He says, "I thought I was gonna die."
Luckily, the bear ran off, and Bae lived to tell his unusual story, which is featured in a short film currently running on the Motorola website,

do you really think this is a good commercial for motorola. your phone makes noises so annoying it scares bears. i am going to try this method with beggars, salesmen, name it.
Fla. Man Electrocuted While Putting Up Christmas Lights
COOPER CITY, Fla. -- A man was electrocuted Saturday while putting up Christmas lights outside his house, officials said.
The man, who was not identified, was found on front lawn lying on top of top of an electrical cord connected to Christmas lights.
He was unresponsive when paramedics arrived, said Broward Sheriff's Fire Rescue Capt. Dave Erdman.
He later died at Memorial West Pembroke Hospital, sheriff's spokeswoman Liz Calzadilla told the South Florida Sun-Sentinel.
The lawn was wet from sprinklers that had been running during the day, Erdman said, but officials were still investigating the cause of the accident.
Cooper City is 10 miles west of Fort Lauderdale.

fa la la la la la la la la . tis the fuckin season.
'Santa' gunman dies in shootout
BERLIN, Germany (Reuters) -- An armed bankrobbery in Germany by two men dressed in Santa Claus outfits ended in a bloody gunfight in which one robber was shot dead and a police officer seriously wounded, authorities said on Friday.
The festively-attired robbers plundered thousands of euros from a bank in the western town of Ratingen late on Thursday, but ran into two plainclothes policemen during the getaway.
"We were told two armed Santas were in the process of robbing the bank and that they had managed to steal tens of thousands of euros," a police spokesman said.
"The assailants started shooting when the officers identified themselves, prompting fire to be returned," he said.
The surviving would-be Santa escaped, police said.

and in a related story.................
Three killed in crash with turkey truck
TAHLEQUAH, Okla. Three people from southeastern Illinois have died after their car collided with a tractor-trailer carrying 11-thousand pounds of frozen turkey in eastern Oklahoma.The Oklahoma Highway Patrol says Harold Wiseman, Joanne Wiseman and Mable Knackmus -- all of West Salem, Illinois -- were killed when their car failed to stop at a stop sign just after six p-m yesterday.
The car then ran under the semi's trailer and the truck in turn ran over the car.
The driver and passenger in the semi were not injured.
Leon Sparks -- the owner of the truck -- says it was hauling 11-thousand pounds of frozen turkeys. Sparks says the truck was headed west U-S 62 when the car hit behind truck's fuel tanks.

arent the holidays ironic. i'm sure the next month will be filled with these kind of stories.
Family fury over brothel bonuses BOSSES are rewarding their staff with sex sessions as Christmas bonuses.Queensland brothels gearing up for their busiest time of the year say they are anticipating a big rush from workers buoyed by the festive spirit and treating themselves to a celebratory romp.
A trip to the brothel has long been a favourite way for groups of workmates to mark the end of a long year.
Some employers show their gratitude to their workers by shouting them a brothel visit or paying for strip shows at job sites or in strip clubs.
The practice has outraged the Australian Families Association.

fuck the christmas ham........i'm gettin laid.
Canada has no stripper shortage
OTTAWA — Contrary to Immigration Department claims, there is no shortage of native-born exotic dancers in Canada, says a University of Toronto law professor who has studied the strip club business.
Audrey Macklin says the real reason strip clubs want foreign dancers is that they are desperate and will do things Canadian women consider too unsafe or demeaning.
"What in fact the demand is for these days is for women to lap dance, and not just lap dance but basically to be on some guy's lap naked while he gropes her and may masturbate under her and that sort of stuff,'' Macklin said in an interview Thursday.
"And there's also a shortage of women who are willing to work in so-called private booths where they do stripping, whatever they do in a private booth, just for one man.''

is this really news. canada's biggest export is round bacon and whores.

Wednesday, November 24, 2004

Amateur gynecologists and blondes........sounds like the beginning of a good joke

Man who posed as gynecologist sentenced to four years in prison
DALLAS A Texas man has been sentenced to four years in prison for posing as a gynecologist -- with an office in a self-storage complex.Authorities in Dallas launched an undercover investigation after seeing an ad in a weekly newspaper offering free medical care. A prosecutor set up the undercover sting with an investigator posing as a patient and using a hidden camera.
They say Thomas Remo wore a scrub shirt and had some medical equipment in the small kitchen of the storage facility office where he worked.
After Remo's arrest in September, authorities got calls from women who said they were victims, but did not want their identities revealed in court records. Prosecutors did not file sexual assault charges.

how subtle. i just wore scrubs and worked out of my car. the women laid down in the back seat and used my shoulders as stirrups. i once worked on a woman with a clitoris like a pickle (no , not the size, the taste). stop, its an old joke. anyways, are they going to arrest the women for stupidity. at least have them fixed so they cant reproduce. that a gene pool that we dont need anyone jumping into. what a wonderful world we live in and remember texas voted en masse for bush and his morals.
Blondes ain't laughing
Hungary - Blonde jokes are set to be banned in Hungary after blonde women staged an angry protest outside parliament.
The protestors handed in a petition claiming they were being discriminated against in every walk of life by bad taste blonde jokes.
Spokesperson Zsuzsa Kovacs said: "Blondes face discrimination in the job market, in the workplace when they get a job, and even on the streets.
"People are banned from discriminating against Jews, or blacks, so why not grant blondes the same protection."
The petition was handed to the equal opportunities minister Kinga Goncz asking her to investigate whether jokes about blondes fall into the same category as religious discrimination.
The petition was just short of the 100 000 needed to force parliament to debate the matter but Goncz's deputy who spoke to the crowd pledged the government would act to stop any discrimination.
Blondes - real and bleached - protested outside the ministry as the petition was handed in, waving banners with slogans like "We're blonde, not stupid" and "Love us for our minds". -

blondes aint laughing.....................because they dont get the jokes. doesnt this make hungary the biggest blonde joke of all time. what were the odds that all the blondes were standing outside the wrong building. next thing you know we wont be allowed to make jokes about lawyers or chicks with big fake titties.

Tuesday, November 23, 2004

Steelers 9-1. now bring on the redskins.

How about my steelers. 9-1 and still going. ok the game sunday wasnt a masterpiece but that is exactly the kind of game championship teams win. new england has become a semi legend by winning those games. another crushing ground game controlled the clock and once the steelers took the lead the game was never in question. the defense should get a game ball for what they did in the second half. this is the kind of game the steelers would have lost last year. i dont see the redskins as being anything special. the steelers should come away from that 10-1. washington has an ok defense but absolutely no offense. 17 to 7 is a score i can see but if the stelers put up some big numbers (21 points in the first quarter) and washington is forced to pass then this could be a real blowout. lets climb onto the bus one more time and ride a little closer to the super bowl.

Monday, November 22, 2004

Ron Artest in a fight.........say it aint so

NBA suspends Pacers' Artest for rest of season after Detroit brawl
Stern's statement
NBA Commissioner David Stern's statement accompanying the announcement of suspensions for Friday night's Pacers-Pistons brawl: "The penalties issued today deal only with one aspect of this incident -- that of player misconduct. The actions of the players involved wildly exceeded the professionalism and self-control that should fairly be expected from NBA players. We must affirm that the NBA will strive to exemplify the best that can be offered by professional sports, and not allow our sport to be debased by what seem to be declining expectations for behavior of fans and athletes alike. "There are other issues that the NBA must urgently focus on at this time. First, we must redefine the bounds of acceptable conduct for fans attending our games and resolve to permanently exclude those who overstep those bounds. Participants in and around the court must be assured complete protection from unacceptable fan behavior. Second, we must re-examine the adequacy of our current security procedures in Detroit and our other 28 arenas. The actions at Friday's game, though unprecedented, must now be factored into all efforts to guarantee the well-being of our fans. Third, we must develop and implement new NBA rules to assure that the unavoidable confrontations likely to occur in the heat of competition are not allowed to escalate to the level we witnessed on Friday even prior to the egregious behavior by individuals in the stands."
Ron Artest was suspended for the rest of the season Sunday, and two of his Indiana Pacers teammates must miss a total of 55 games for fighting with fans during a melee that broke out at the end of a game against the Detroit Pistons.
Overall, the NBA issued some of the harshest penalties in its history by banning nine players for more than 140 games. Artest's suspension is the strongest ever levied for a fight during a game.
"The line is drawn, and my guess is that won't happen again -- certainly not by anybody who wants to be associated with our league," commissioner David Stern said.
Indiana's Stephen Jackson was suspended for 30 games and Jermaine O'Neal for 25. Detroit's Ben Wallace -- whose shove of Artest after a foul led to the five-minute fracas -- drew a six-game ban, while Pacers guard Anthony Johnson got five games.
"I'm sick about that for Indiana. I'm devastated for them," Pistons coach Larry Brown said. "And we lost our heart and soul."
Four players -- Indiana's Reggie Miller, and Detroit's Chauncey Billups, Elden Campbell and Derrick Coleman -- were suspended one game apiece for leaving the bench during the initial fracas.
All of the suspensions are without pay. Artest will lose approximately $5 million in salary, while O'Neal's suspension will cost him nearly 25 percent of his $14.8 million salary for the current season.
Players union director Billy Hunter, calling the penalties excessive, said an appeal would be filed Monday.
"We have to make the point that there are boundaries in our games," Stern said. "One of our boundaries, that have always been immutable, is the boundary that separate the fans from the court. Players cannot lose control and move into the stands."
Artest, O'Neal and Jackson began serving their suspensions Saturday.
Artest's penalty was the most severe because of his checkered history. Artest being provoked into running into the stands by a fan who threw a drink did not appear to be a mitigating factor in Stern's decision.
"It was unanimous, one to nothing," Stern said. "I did not strike from my mind the fact that Ron Artest had been suspended on previous conditions for loss of self-control."
The Pacers will be able to place Artest, O'Neal and Jackson on the suspended list and sign players to take their place. Limited to just six players Saturday, Indiana dropped an 86-83 decision to Orlando.
Billups, Coleman and Campbell served their suspensions Sunday. Wallace will be eligible to return Dec. 3 against San Antonio.
Stern took the unusual step of calling a news conference at Madison Square Garden prior to the Knicks-Cavaliers game to announce the suspensions, commenting that Friday night's fracas represented "the worst" of the 20,000 to 25,000 games he has presided over in his more than two decades as commissioner.'s Marty Burns
As expected, David Stern came down hard on the principals in Friday's Pacers-Pistons brawl. Now the Commish better be prepared for a fight of his own. The Pacers and the players union, in particular, are likely to howl over this decision. The Pacers will say they're being made scapegoats. The players union will file appeals. Both sides will claim the NBA is putting PR over true's Phil Taylor
David Stern's decision to take away the rest of Ron Artest's season might be a little extreme, but Artest will find no sympathy here. Artest has made a career of going to extremes, and he deserves a taste of his own medicine. Stern could have sent the necessary anti-violence message by suspending Artest for 30 or 40 games instead of the entire year. That certainly would have been enough to make players think twice in the future before going into the stands. But by dropping the hammer he has told Artest, and any other player who might be inclined to imitate his trouble-making act, that his instigating, antagonistic, hot-tempered ways will not be tolerated.Artest surely had no idea that his hard foul on Ben Wallace would lead to the worst brawl in NBA history, but that's just the point. His constant attempts to stir up trouble on the court can lead to unintended consequences, and it's about time he suffered some of them. Stern may have had a second, more pragmatic purpose in handing down such harsh penalties -- it gives him a cushion once the NBA Players Association launches its inevitable challenge to the suspensions. Even if the union succeeds in getting an arbitrator to whittle the number of games down a bit, Artest, Stephen Jackson and Jermaine O'Neal will still serve a sufficiently stiff and justified penalty.The union will probably adopt the argument that has already been put forth in some quarters that Artest was just defending himself, which is nonsense. He wasn't fending off some imminent danger, he was ticked off because someone had doused him with a drink. Artest didn't go into the stands for self-defense, he went in for retaliation. There?s a huge difference. Artest will have plenty of time to think about that difference over the next several months. By the time he comes back the NBA will undoubtedly have enacted several measures to make sure the ugliness of last Friday won't be repeated. But the league took the first, most important step with Stern's bold move. Removing Ron Artest from the league automatically makes it a safer place.
"To watch the out-of-control fans in the stands was disgusting, but it doesn't excuse our players going into the stands," Stern said, promising a wide-ranging review that will encompass everything from security procedures to alcohol sales at arenas.
"We have to do everything possible to redefine the covenant between players and fans, and between fans and fans, and make sure we can play our games in very welcoming and peaceful settings," he said.
The NBA also has to "redefine the bounds of acceptable conduct for fans attending our games and resolve to permanently exclude those who overstep those bounds," Stern said.
For Sunday night's home game against the Charlotte Bobcats -- Detroit's first outing since the melee -- the Pistons doubled the number of armed police to about 20 in the arena and increased other arena security personnel by about 25 percent.
When some spectators lined up to take pictures with Pistons guard Lindsey Hunter on the court before the game, two police officers stood just a few feet away.
Friday night's brawl was particularly violent, with Artest and Jackson bolting into the stands near center court and throwing punches at fans after debris was tossed at the players.
Later, fans who came onto the court were punched in the face by Artest and O'Neal. Players who entered the stands and tried to act as peacemakers were not penalized.
Nine people were treated for injuries, and police are investigating possible criminal charges.
Wallace began the fracas by delivering a hard, two-handed shove to Artest after Wallace was fouled on a drive to the basket with 45.9 seconds remaining. After the fight ended, the referees called off the rest of the game.
The initial skirmish wasn't all that bad, with Artest retreating to the scorer's table and lying atop it after Wallace sent him reeling backward. But when a fan tossed a cup at Artest, he stormed into the stands, throwing punches as he climbed over seats.
Jackson joined Artest and threw punches at fans, who punched back. At one point, a chair was tossed into the fray.
"Mr. Jackson was well into the stands, and certainly anyone who watched any television this weekend understood he wasn't going in as a peacemaker," Stern said. "Jermaine, I think it's fair to say, exceeded any bounds of peacemaking with the altercation with the fan in which he was involved.
"His penalty actually would have been harsher if he had succeeded in getting into his stands, which he tried to do but was restrained from."

wtf is wrong with the nba and the fans in detroit. this should actually be two seperate questions. first, good for the nba for tossing artest. hes a piece of crap who cultivates the bad boy image. hes a thug and hes getting what he deserves. didnt he want some time off anyway to be a record producer. you want to be a gangsta...then theres no room for you in the nba. and then theres detroit. can those assholes do anything but riot. i know that the auto industry went south and your biggest export is blow and canadian whores but kets get it together. its alright to celebrate your teams championship without burning down a significant part of your city (though a good burning might help). its also ok to watch a fight at a game without joining in.

Saturday, November 20, 2004

Philly and fat chicks....the worlds a crazy place

Philly Stinks, LiterallyNov 19, 2004 9:30 am US/CentralPHILADELPHIA (AP) An olfactory offense sent officials sniffing for the source of a stench that wafted across Philadelphia. A mysterious invisible cloud carried an odor that left sour faces and perplexed officials in its wake Thursday. Emergency dispatchers began receiving the first of hundreds of 911 calls about the strong smell shortly past 2 p.m., first from the southern tip of South Philadelphia, then further north as the scent drifted on the wind. Transit officials, fearful of a gas leak, evacuated a subway line in South Philadelphia for about 45 minutes. Some people said it smelled like propane. Others said it smelled more like sulfur. Authorities collected air samples, phoned nearby refineries and checked the pressure of natural gas lines, trying to determine if there had been an industrial mishap. "We don't know what it is. But we've gathered enough samples to know that it's not toxic. It's just offensive," said mayoral spokeswoman Barbara Grant. A police spokesman said authorities were checking out theories that the odor came from dust released as a substance was transferred between two train cars, or that it may have originated at a refinery in Paulsboro, N.J.

no shit. philly smells? this is only a suprise if you have never been there. this city is the armpit of america. the sulfur scent makes sense with philly being so close to hell and all. typical philly ...blame new jersey.
Kirstie AlleyIt's been a rough few years for Kirstie Alley, 53, and not just because her career has been in a slump. On the episode of Oprah Winfrey's show that aired Nov. 12, Kirstie made a shocking revelation that she hasn't had sex in four and a half years, confessing, "I don't want to have fat sex!" About 10 months ago, Kirstie told Oprah she faced the fact that she had blown up: At last count her weight was about 260 pounds. Kirstie recalled stripping down and looking at herself in a mirror: "I have seen myself naked.... I couldn't believe it. And so I just was crushed." But while Kirstie may be admitting this, what the heavy-set, sexstarved actress isn't saying is that she's also been blowing up at everyone around her! Suffering the strains of weight gain and career pressure, sources say she's been yelling at crew members on the set of her upcoming Showtime TV show, Fat Actress, and has taken to loudly fighting about script changes and location decisions. Before production began in Los Angeles two months ago, Kirstie seemed perfectly comfortable with the show's premise. In Fat Actress, she plays a fictionalized version of herself, an actress coping with her weight. She joked to producers that they should get her wardrobe in three different sizes to match her weight fluctuations. But once shooting started, says a friend, that happy-go-lucky attitude disappeared faster than the on-set snacks. "Suddenly, Kirstie's ego kicked in; before this series she didn't seem to care about how she looked," the friend says. In fact, the actress was regularly seen walking around L.A. in frumpy clothes and uncombed hair, even eating pie at House of Pies. Now, the friend says, "she gets irritable so quickly, makeup has to rush in to dab the sweat off her face." A source says the chainsmoking, popsicle-sucking actress has flown off the handle at the show's cameramen, wardrobers, and makeup artists. The people she's always nice to are the celebs who visit the set as guest stars. Recently, on line in the cafeteria, Kirstie loudly berated an assistant after a pair of earrings Kirstie needed for an upcoming scene disappeared. "She flipped out," says the source. "The next day, four staff members were fired." Reps for Kirstie did not return Star's calls for comment.

thank god the star is here to give us all the breaking news we can handle. meet kirsty. she was once a hot chick with a promising career. then she ate her way out of it. instead of being hot it now looks like she ate two hot chicks. look kirsty, if you dont want to have fat sex then you aint havin no sex. hey , thank god she's breaking that stereotype about the jolly fat person though. nothing america llikes better than a surly , fat chick. fat and mean spirited......why that the girl for me.
Anna Nicole Keeps Diet Pill
SAVED: Former Playboy pinup Anna Nicole Smith is keeping her job as spokeswoman for the diet pill TrimSpa, despite rumors that she was fired for her slurring, stumbling presentation at Sunday night's American Music Awards. "Smith was a customer first," Alex Goen, TrimSpa founder and CEO, said in a statement. "TrimSpa wouldn't fire Anna or any of our customers." Though Smith appeared to be drunk while introducing Sunday night's performance by Kanye West, her lawyer later

ok, you really didnt need the rest of that story. shes blaming her mishap on poor eyesight. it could happen. i think she mistook 3 bottle of jack daniels for her trim spa. that fat pig was so gooned it was regoddamndiculous. its not bad enough that she still a little porky but she also waering a huge diamond necklace that spells out trimspa. she is really trailer trash.....but with huge boobies.
think about other news if it will help you sleep tonight. i ,or one, like to keep my eye on the kooks out there. i find it reassuring.

Steelers 8-1.........whos next?

the bengals are next thats who. alot of people are saying this is the game the steelers are going to lose. a trap game so to speak. i dont see it happening this week. let me explain the hard parts for you. first the bengals quaterback sucks. tie up his one reciever and its over. he will be sacked a minimum of four times. the last time we played them we were just get out chemistry together so dont count on a hundred yard rushing game from the bengals. on the other hand the bengals defense is ranked thirtieth (30th) against the run.i see the bus and veron haynes running through them and opening it up for big bens passing. ben doesnt need to throw 40 times a game. he doesnt need to throw for 300 yards a game. all he needs to do is connect on the timely pass and keep drives going. the steelers will continue to do what they have been doing ie: running . if you run the ball up a teams ass they have to get their hands dirty pulling it out. hold the ball 36 to 45 minutes and the bengals wont be able to score at all. get a lead and make palmer throw to beat you. i see the steelers as 9-1 getting close to wrapping up a playoff spot.

by the way pittsburgh is not a great sporrts town regardless of what you have been lead to believe. people are already pointing out faults of the steelers and waiting for the other shoe to drop. i think i'll stay on the bandwagon and enjoy the ride. it could be worse could live in cleveland.

Friday, November 19, 2004

Mnf, t.o., abc and the crazy religious right

ok, i guess i have been forced to think about the opening to monday night football. first off let me say that we are talking about monday night football. this is where guys (and a few incredibly sexy , football crazy women) get together and watch men killing each other. its the twenty-first century version of the roman coliseum and gladiators. so nicolette sheridan dropped her towel. did we see her!. whats the big deal. what about the children? heres how you explain it. its tv.its not real . most kids see worse nudity on a brittany spears tape that the parents will gladly buy to keep the rugrats occupied. if you are offended then dont watch mnf anymore. i'm sure they will miss you. frankly , i'm sure the ratings will be great next week (even though abc will never show another like this again). the ratings for desperate housewives will probably go up too. oh and dont even throw in the race card. that isnt even a factor. the only people bothered by the black/white thing are religious southerners who still think race mixing is a sin. of course all those jerkoffs voted for bush. if anyone has a complaint its that nicolette sheridan had such shitty plasatic surgery. she looks like a guy. she probably scared some kids. real men know that you can just put a bag over her head. so with all that being said everyone just shut the fuck up. nobody will remember this in a year unless you nutjobs keep bringing it up. lets not turn america into nazi germany (regardless of what bush would like). oh and one last thing, mnf, the nfl, t.o., etc.........quit fuckin apologizing. you did nothing wrong.

Afghanistan, vibe awards and kids that need offed

Nov 19 2004
TWO schoolboys playing with aerosol cans and a cigarette lighter set themselves alight.
They were in a screaming panic as people dashed to put out the flames in the playground after school hours.
The 13-year-old pupils at Stonelaw High School in Rutherglen, near Glasgow, were taken to hospital with neck, face and head burns.
Workers at Stonelaw Community Centre called for paramedics and tried to comfort the pair until help arrived.
One employee said: 'One of the boys was in a really bad way and the staff were really shaken up by what had happened.
'It was a very nasty incident.' The boys were taken to Glasgow's Victoria Infirmary and released after treatment for burns on Monday night.
Fire Brigade community safety co-ordinator Steven McKee said yesterday: 'The boys could easily have lost their eyesight or even been killed.
'It is really disappointing this happened in a community centre with other people present.'
The sports centre is operated by South Lanarkshire Leisure Ltd, on behalf of the council.

proving that no matter what the rest of the world does, scottish kids arent ahead of american kids in education. rule number one ....dont light a joint with a lighter and an aerosol can.

UN: Afghan opium cultivation reaches record high
BRUSSELS - Afghanistan's opium cultivation jumped 64 percent to a record 324,000 acres this year and drug exports now account for more than 60 percent of the economy, the United Nations drugs office said Thursday.
"This year Afghanistan has established a double record -- the highest drug cultivation in the country's history, and the largest in the world," Antonio Maria Costa, executive director of the UN Office on Drugs and Crime, told a news briefing.
Opium, the raw material for heroin, was grown in all Afghanistan's 32 provinces this year. Ten percent of the population, or 2.3 million people, helped farm it because grinding poverty made it more attractive than other crops.
"Cultivation has spread ... making narcotics the main engine of economic growth and the strongest bond among previously quarrelsome peoples," Costa said. "Valued at $2.8 billion, the opium economy is now equivalent to over 60 percent of Afghanistan's 2003 gross domestic product."
"The fear that Afghanistan might degenerate into a narco-state is slowly becoming a reality as corruption in the public sector, the die-hard ambition of local warlords, and the complicity of local investors are becoming a factor in Afghan life," he said.
While the area under cultivation soared, it was still less than three percent of the country's arable land, the UN said in a report posted on its Web Site,
But heroin production rose just 17 percent to 4,200 tons, below the 1999 record of 4,600 tons under the radical Islamic Taliban regime, due to bad weather and an insect infestation.
The massive 1999 crop and another large harvest in 2000 led to a stock-build which forced prices down, leading the Taliban to all but eliminate opium production in 2001.
Prices leapt from $28 per kilo at the farm gate in Afghanistan in 2000 to $301 a year later.
The U.N put the 2004 price in Afghanistan at $92 per kilo.

well who would have guessed this. i think i learned these facts in grade school. in defense ofd afghanistan once all of our sand boxes are filled what else is this country going to export. i cannot believe in this day and age that there are still warlords. why didnt bush clean this place up totally before attacking iraq. i'm so disgusted i'm going to go shoot up right now.
Sale of 'suicide book' criticised
Teenager Sarah Cherry read the book before committing suicideA coroner is asking the online retailer Amazon to stop selling a book about suicide after the death of a 19-year-old Lancashire woman.
Preston coroner Howard McCann made the appeal after the death of Sarah Cherry, from Penwortham, who killed herself after reading it, an inquest was told.
"I was shocked that such a book should be readily available," said Mr McCann.
But Amazon said removing the book because its message was "repugnant" amounted to censorship.
A spokesman for the company said: "Our goal is to support freedom of expression and to provide customers with the broadest selection possible so they can find, discover, and buy any title they might be seeking.
Not promoted
"We leave it up to our customers to decide what they wish to read.
"While we do not censor items from our web site, does not promote these kinds of titles.
"If a title is banned we would of course immediately remove it from the website."
Mr McCann said the book would provoke more complaints if it were displayed elsewhere.
"I would strongly suspect that if you were to see this book on display, let's say in high street retailer, there would be objections from the majority of members of the public that such a book should be on display and indeed sold," he said.

who says kids dont read these days
Attorney: Rapper sought in Vibe Awards fight to surrender
LOS ANGELES The rapper known as Young Buck, wanted in connection with a stabbing at the Vibe Awards, is getting ready to turn himself in.New York attorney Scott Leemon says in a statement that Young Buck will "surrender in the near future and then be released on bail." Santa Monica, California, police confirm they're in negotiations with Leemon.
Buck, whose real name is David Darnell Brown, is suspected of stabbing a man who had just punched rap artist Dr. Dre in the face Monday night at the Vibe Awards. The program was being taped in a Santa Monica Airport hangar.
Investigators also want to identify two other men seen holding knives in a videotape of the incident.
Police have been unable to interview stabbing victim Jimmy James Johnson, who suffered a collapsed lung.

i really dont want to stereotype but i dont think this would happen during the country music awards. cant you ever get a bunch of rappers together and not have someone stabbed or shot. why dont they put a metal detector on the red carpet. what a bunch of ignorant thugs
Boy, 12, Allegedly Raped By Male Classmate At School
Encounter Started With Dispute Over Ball
PHILADELPHIA -- An outraged mother says that her 12-year-old son was raped by an 11-year-old classmate at John B. Stetson Middle School on Allegheny Avenue in Philadelphia.
The 11-year-old has been charged with involuntary deviate sexual behavior.
The 12-year-old said it all started with a fight over a ball on Tuesday. Minutes later, the boy claimed, he was being sexually attacked.
The victim's father, Max Rivera, told NBC that he is sick to his stomach over the attack.
"It hurts me. He raped my son, he raped me, too," said Damaris Rivera.
The parents of the victim said the two boys got into a dispute over a ball in the fourth floor bathroom of the school. The 11-year-old male student then chased the 12-year-old inside the third-floor fire escape and sexually assaulted him.
"The boy was choking him, threatening him, and then made him get down on the ground and pulled down his pants -- over a handball," said Max Rivera.

quick get these kids right over to the vibe awards. no one is going to stab anyone else when he's working the crank. what ever happened to a punch in the mouth. the 11 year old should just be taken out back and shot. when i was 11 that thought would have never entered my mind. i wouldnt have gone near someone who said it went through their head.
Timberlake and Diaz's romance 'on the rocks'November 18, 2004, 1:37:56
Justin Timberlake and Cameron Diaz's romance is reportedly on the rocks.
Sources even claim their relationship problems may have something to do with Cameron's recent scuffle with a paparazzi photographer who tried to take pictures of them.
A friend told America's Us Weekly magazine: "Justin just had his second acting role, and he doesn't need bad press. This is what happened with ex-girlfriend Britney Spears - she was becoming a liability. He's not going to let Cameron's behaviour reflect on his career."
The source added that the recent fracas - which has resulted in legal action - "may push Timberlake to finally end their 17-month relationship."

just proving that no matter how pretty a woman is somewhere i guy is glad their gone. i always wanted to refer to any woman as a liability. how cool is that. i thought that cameron diaz was higher than justin timberlake on the entertainment food chain. oh well, i must applaud justin for turning such a minimal amout of talent into a sex life that i'm jealous of.
Updated Nov. 18, 2004, 10:32 a.m. ET
Teen girls accused of serving poisoned cake that sent 12 students to hospital
MARIETTA, Ga. (AP) — Two 13-year-old middle-school girls were held on assault charges Wednesday after being accused of serving poisoned cake to about a dozen students who became ill and went to a hospital.
Lawyers for the two seventh graders said the cake was a prank, and that they had no intention to harm anyone. Lab tests showed the icing on the cornbread cake contained an expired prescription drug, bleach, clay and tabasco sauce.
"They took it into the cafeteria at lunch time and began passing it out to students, just whoever would take a piece," said Jay Dillon, spokesman for the Cobb County School District in suburban Atlanta.
Some of the students started vomiting after eating the cake Tuesday, officials said. Eleven students, mostly seventh graders, were treated at a hospital and released, Dillon said.

look girls if you want to make the big leagues just rape the people your mad at like they do in philly. poisoned cake huh, would you want to be the teacher that gave them bad grades. now you know how martha stewart got started. i can guarantee that a neighbor will be interviewed and refer to them as such nice girls. they should also be taken out back and shot. what the fuck are people thinking these days.

Thursday, November 18, 2004

Beastiality and peta.......all in a days news

Mom Breastfeeds Puppy to Protect Baby
Wed Nov 17, 8:30 AM ET
Oddly Enough - Reuters
WELLINGTON (Reuters) - A woman in New Zealand says she is breastfeeding her pet puppy because she wants it to protect her baby daughter as they both grow up.
Kura Tumanako told the NZPA news agency Wednesday that she had started breastfeeding the Staffordshire bull terrier pup after her baby stopped taking her milk.
"I didn't want to waste it so I gave it to Honey Boy," she said.
According to NZPA, Tumanako said she had fed the dog twice a day for the past week but would probably wean it off in about six weeks' time. Her baby, now 2 months old, is on bottled milk.
"I wanted to raise it (the pup) with my baby," she said. "I wanted to bring it up with a baby. It will protect her as they grow up," said Tumanako, who lives in Hastings in New Zealand's North Island.
"He drinks more than the baby. It doesn't hurt, but it's a little bit ticklish."

ok, she can tell you whatever she wants but i think she might be enjoying this a little too much. maybe i'm wrong. maybe all new mothers start to breastfeed the dog when the child quits taking their milk. makes you wonder what other jobs "honey boy" is going to do as he gets bigger. daddy not interested in sex tonight.............heeeeerrrreeeeeee boy.
2004-11-10 11:06:00Cat rapes woman after performing oral sex on her Two women attempted to experience sexual pleasure from an intimate contact with a cat. The weird endeavor ended rather sad for one of the women: she was hospitalized with severe genital injuries. Doctors arrived to hospitalize a woman, who had suffered from unexpected bleeding, as they were told on the phone. They saw a woman lying on the sofa. The woman was wearing only a jumper. Streaks of blood could be seen on her legs. The woman's friend was speechless to explain what happened. The woman was taken to the gynecological department of the local hospital, where doctors determined the unusual character of the genital injuries. Stitching the wounds, they supposed that a sex maniac had attacked the woman and injured her in the crotch. The truth, however, surpassed all expectations. When the woman recovered, she confessed that she had been injured during her love act with a cat. The woman's name was Svetlana. Her husband, an entrepreneur, was constantly away on business trips. That day he was out of town too. Svetlana was bored and she decided to visit her friend, Vera. The two women had some wine and started talking about intimate matters. Vera was the first, who suggested trying something totally unusual: "Do you wanna try the real thing?" asked she. When Vera clarified, what the real thing was about, Svetlana was terrified. However, the idea seemed to be attractive to her after the women talked about it and had some more wine. "Life is too short, one has to try everything!" Svetlana decided. Vera brought in a cat. The cat named as Timka was living in the house for quite a long time. Vera took her clothes off, put the light out and played an adult movie on the video recorder. She lied down, took a bottle of valerian and poured some on her most intimate body part. When the cat smelled valerian, he started licking it away, putting Vera in the state of ecstasy. "Now it is your turn, you try," Vera told Svetlana when she was done. "You know, my friend, there is nothing better than the cat's little tongue," said she. When the cat started licking valerian off from Svetlana, something happened to the animal. Timka probably took too much of the medication: he started licking the liquid away but all of a sudden he seized the genitals of the poor woman with his claws and teeth. Svetlana screamed and tried to push the fierce pet lover away from her, but the cat wouldn't let go. Vera hurried to help her friend: she emptied a bucket of water on the cat and threw the animal out of the house. When she saw that Svetlana was bleeding, she called an ambulance. When Svetlana returned home from the hospital, she had to tell the story to her husband, Boris. The man could not take the fact that his wife preferred having oral sex with a cat: Boris kicked Svetlana out of the house and the abandoned woman had to stay with her mother. The offended man is not going to forgive his wife: the couple is currently divorcing. It is noteworthy that lonely women often use their pets (cats or dogs, regardless of sex) to satisfy their sexual needs. Such pet adventures often lead to lamentable consequences - not for pets, but for orgasm-craving women, as a rule. An overdose of valerian can make the loveliest cat become a fierce and aggressive animal.

this is the logical progression from breastfeeding your pets. i thought cats liked tuna. once more i stand corrected. how bad does your vagina smell to make a cat attack you.
News Watch
PETA Suit Says Cows Are Unhappy
New York LawyerNovember 17, 2004
By Mike McKeeThe Recorder
An animal rights group took exception to California's popular "Happy Cows" campaign Tuesday, calling it false advertising during arguments in a San Francisco appellate court.
People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals Inc. accused the California Milk Advisory Board of violating the state's unfair competition law by portraying an idyllic lifestyle for California dairy cows while knowing they endure a "harsh, uncomfortable and often painful existence."
"The state is advertising falsely," Matthew Penzer, legal counsel for Norfolk, Va.-based PETA, argued in court. "And that kind of advertising is prohibited."
First District Court of Appeal Justices Ignazio Ruvolo, J. Anthony Kline and Paul Haerle were all business in addressing PETA's claims that the state-supervised milk board is violating Business and Professions Code §17200. The justices grilled both sides hard. The key question for the court was not whether the ads were false but whether the milk board was subject to the unfair competition law.
The ubiquitous ads portray dairy cows in bucolic bliss on sunny green pastures lined with white picket fences, enjoying earthquake hoof massages and recounting horrific Midwestern winters. The TV ads end with an announcer proclaiming: "Great cheese comes from happy cows; happy cows come from California."
PETA contends that the ads have no basis in reality -- that California cows live in feces-soaked dirt lots devoid of vegetation and are kept pregnant almost their entire adult lives. The cows suffer from an assortment of diseases caused by intensive rearing, they say, and their calves are packed in veal crates or slaughtered.

memo to peta: please shut up. dont waste valuable court time with this bullshit. go back to throwing blood on old women wearing fur. we eat them because they would eat us if they could. their calves are cute.........and delicious.

PETA Campaign Pitches Fish As Smart
Tue Nov 16, 4:05 PM ET
By DAVID CRARY, AP National Writer
NEW YORK - Touting tofu chowder and vegetarian sushi as alternatives, animal-rights activists have launched a novel campaign arguing that fish — contrary to stereotype — are intelligent, sensitive animals no more deserving of being eaten than a pet dog or cat.
Called the Fish Empathy Project, the campaign reflects a strategy shift by People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals as it challenges a diet component widely viewed as nutritious and uncontroversial.
"No one would ever put a hook through a dog's or cat's mouth," said Bruce Friedrich, PETA's director of vegan outreach. "Once people start to understand that fish, although they come in different packaging, are just as intelligent, they'll stop eating them."
The campaign is in its infancy and will face broad skepticism. Major groups such as the American Heart Association recommend fish as part of a healthy diet; some academics say it is wrong to portray the intelligence and pain sensitivity of fish as comparable to mammals.
"Fish are very complex organisms that do all sorts of fascinating things," said University of Wyoming neuroscientist James Rose. "But to suggest they know they what's happening to them and worry about it, that's just not the case."
PETA, headquartered in Norfolk, Va., has campaigned for years against sport fishing, challenging claims by Rose and others that fish caught by anglers do not feel pain. PETA also has joined other critics in decrying the high levels of mercury or other toxins in many fish and the pollution discharged by many fish farms.
The Empathy Project is a departure in two respects — attempting to depict the standard practices of commercial fishing as cruel and seeking to convince consumers that there are ethical reasons for not eating fish.
"Fish are so misunderstood because they're so far removed from our daily lives," said Karin Robertson, 24, the Empathy Project manager and daughter of an Indiana fisheries biologist. "They're such interesting, fascinating individuals, yet they're so incredibly abused."
The project was inspired by several recent scientific studies — widely reported in Britain but little-noticed in the United States — detailing facets of fish intelligence.
Oxford University researcher Theresa Burt de Perera, for example, reported that the blind Mexican cave fish is able to interpret water pressure changes to construct a detailed mental map of its surroundings.
"Most people dismiss fish as dimwitted pea-brains. ... Yet this is a great fallacy," wrote University of Edinburgh biologist Culum Brown in the June edition of New Scientist. "In many areas, such as memory, their cognitive powers match or exceed those of 'higher' vertebrates, including non-human primates."
Chris Glass of the Manomet Center for Conservation Sciences in Massachusetts led another recent study, showing how North Sea haddock developed abilities to avoid trawlers' nets.
"There's no doubt that fish of all shapes and forms are capable of learning fairly complex tasks," Glass said. "They can learn from their environment and experience."
Yet Glass declined to endorse the don't-eat-fish appeals.
"We don't want to be caught between warring factions," he said. "We're interested in helping the fisheries industry do a responsible job."
To press their argument, PETA activists plan demonstrations starting next month at selected seafood restaurants nationwide. PETA also will urge changes in commercial fishing practices, for example proposing that trawler crews stun fish before cutting them up.
Friedrich questioned why there is popular support for sparing marine mammals — dolphins and porpoises — yet minimal concern for species like tuna, "whose suffering would warrant felony animal cruelty charges if they were mammals."
Fish-welfare rules would be a new realm for U.S. commercial fishermen. The National Fisheries Institute, which represents them, has pledged to help sustain fish stocks but its members have never faced cruelty regulations regarding their catch.
"It's irresponsible to discourage people from eating fish at a time when doctors and dietitians advise eating it twice a week," said institute president John Connelly. "If anything, we should be eating more fish."
Friedrich acknowledges the difficulty of changing long-held customs, but thinks his project is worthwhile. "We'd rather go too far than not far enough," he said.

peta once again. i hate the fact that they think they can speak for me. who says i wouldnt eat a cat or dog. as for putting a hook through a cat or dogs mouth......well thats just crazy. if you did that they would just come right off the hook as soon as you cast. best to put the hook through the meaty part of the thigh. that way they dont come off before the big fish take them. oh, and i want more dolphin in my tuna.
Duke study says sex life sags with obesity
BY JIM SHAMP : The Herald-Sunjshamp@heraldsun.comNov 15, 2004 : 9:21 pm ET
DURHAM -- Size matters -- but Duke University Medical Center researchers can't pinpoint yet why obese people in their preliminary study reported sexual problems as much as 25 times more than people who aren't obese.
The finding showed "striking difference in sexual quality of life between obese and normal-weight people," said study co-investigator Martin Binks, a clinical psychologist and director of behavioral health at the Duke Diet & Fitness Center.
Binks and a co-investigator, consulting psychologist Ronette Kolotkin, presented their data Monday during the annual meeting of the North American Association for the Study of Obesity in Las Vegas.
Binks said the clinicians, who specialize in helping people with obesity, had noticed many reports of unsatisfactory sex lives among clients. "Body image issues seemed to contribute at a clinical level," he said. "But when we went looking for research in this area, we found it's very sparse."
So the researchers mined the data Kolotkin collected during the late 1990s from a 31-item questionnaire, "Impact of Weight on Quality of Life-Lite," which asks about aspects of weight-related quality of life, including sex. Kolotkin formerly held Binks' job at the Duke diet and fitness facility before entering private practice, although she still consults there.
The 1,210 volunteers were surveyed about the general quality of their sexual life and their enjoyment of sexual activity, sexual desire, difficulty with sexual performance and avoidance of sexual encounters.
Almost two-thirds seeking obesity treatment reported impairments in at least one of those four specific areas, compared to only 5 percent of normal weight people, the study found.
Kolotkin and Binks also found that obese people had reported far less sexual desire and enjoyment than normal weight people. Obese people tended to avoid sex and reported far more performance problems, the analysis found, and although women had more problems than men in both weight groups, the gender differences were minor.
"We know that things like diabetes and hypertension are considered co-morbidities to obesity," Binks said. "But some obese people are also suffering from quality-of-life issues and may think they're alone in that. But the important information here is, according to our data, it is a common occurrence among people who are obese."
Additionally, the Duke researchers questioned obese people who were not seeking weight loss treatment. Of those, 41 percent reported experiencing sexual impairment.
Slightly more than 500 study participants were drawn from the Duke Diet & Fitness Center, while the remainder were recruited from the community. The average body mass index (BMI) of the obese groups was 41 for the obesity treatment seekers and 40 for the non-obesity treatment seekers. The normal weight group had an average BMI of 22.
BMI is a measurement of body fat based on height and weight, and obesity is defined as a BMI of 30 or greater.
The average age was 48 for treatment seekers, 45 for non-treatment seekers and 35 for normal weight people. The balance between men and women varied, but about 53 percent of the obese treatment seekers were women, rising to 67 percent in the obese non-treatment group and 71 percent in the normal weight group.
Meanwhile, the biggest difference was that only 2 percent of the normal weight group reported sometimes, usually or always feeling no desire for sex, compared to 50 percent of the obese treatment seekers.
Forty-two percent of the treatment seekers said they sometimes, usually or always had sexual function problems, while 41 percent said they avoided sex. Among those with normal weight, the responses were 1.8 percent and 2.5 percent, respectively.
The obese people who weren't seeking to lose weight didn't report as many sexual problems, but they still had rates far higher than the normal weight volunteers. About 29 percent said they sometimes, usually or always felt no desire for sex or had problems with sexual function, and 24 percent said they avoided sex.
But nearly the same tally -- 28 percent of treatment seekers and 30 percent of non-treatment seekers -- said they did not enjoy sex some of the time, usually or always. That compared to only 3.9 percent of normal weight people.
"We expected differences, but I don't think we expected them to be that large," Binks said. "But I need to stress that this is a very preliminary snapshot. It's just that there's such a paucity of data in this area that it called for some attention."
He said more research is needed to understand what's causing the problems for obese people.
"Body issues and self esteem problems affect the willingness of obese individuals to approach those situations," he said.
But he said it's also possible that physical variables could be involved, such as body fat reducing genital blood flow. Exercise, although possibly more difficult for obese people, also can increase blood circulation and has been linked with the ability to overcome depression.
"This is a very important area," Binks concluded, "especially because we're normalizing this very important area of the human condition. Sexual quality of life is a very important part of everybody's well being and their general quality of life. To treat it as a co-morbidity to obesity may be as important as treating the other co-morbidities

who would have guessed. you mean that the morbidly obese dont get laid like crazy. i wonder how much money was wasted doing this study. my buddies and i could have done this study at the bar near my house. they should now do a study to see if fat people have more sex depending on the amount of alcohol thats been consumed. alcohol......make fat people attractive since 1528.

Wednesday, November 17, 2004

Odd stories of the day

ABC Apologizes For 'Desperate' Plug
UPDATED: 4:34 PM PST November 16, 2004

ABC apologized Tuesday for a steamy intro to "Monday Night Football" after receiving complaints from viewers and the National Football League.
The spot featured a naked Nicollette Sheridan jumping into the arms of Terrell Owens.
Before the game, ABC showed the actress and the Philadelphia Eagles star in an empty locker room in an attempt to spoof the network hit "Desperate Housewives." Sheridan, who stars in the show, was wearing only a towel and provocatively asked Owens to skip the game for her.
After she dropped her towel, he agreed to be late for the contest and hugged her. Then the shot cut to two more stars of "Desperate Housewives," Teri Hatcher and Felicity Huffman, watching the scene unfold on a television and commenting on desperate women.
"We have heard from many of our viewers about last night's 'MNF' opening segment and we agree that the placement was inappropriate," ABC said. "We apologize."
The NFL called the intro "inappropriate and unsuitable for our `Monday Night Football' audience."
"While ABC may have gained attention for one of its other shows, the NFL and its fans lost," NFL spokesman Greg Aiello said.
The Eagles said they appreciated ABC apologizing for the segment.
"It is normal for teams to cooperate with ABC in the development of an opening for its broadcast," the team said. "After seeing the final piece, we wish it hadn't aired."
ABC has broadcast "Monday Night Football" with a 5-second delay this season, a precaution after Janet Jackson's "wardrobe malfunction" at February's Super Bowl halftime show _ when Justin Timberlake ripped off part of Jackson's outfit, exposing her right breast to a TV audience of some 90 million. The game was broadcast on CBS, which is protesting a proposed record fine of $550,000 by the FCC.

this will probably garner a fine for abc. the fcc and the religious right have just a little too much control over things right now. abc is just a bunch of pussies for apologizing. ratings will be up for next weeks mnf and probably for desperate housewives. hell, if you want to get mad about something why not be pissed at nicolette sheridans plastic surgeon who made her look like herman munster when he dressed up as a woman. i mean that broad got a smokin body but she has a big square face and a jaw like schwarzenegger. she's now officially a two bagger.
MIAMI (AFP) - A 10-year-old cheese sandwich a Florida woman says bears the image of the Virgin Mary fetched a bid of 22,000 dollars on eBay before the online auction house disqualified it, the Miami Herald reported.
The image on the half-sandwich gets more pronounced every year, according to owner Diana Duyser, 52, of Hollywood, Florida, who keeps the grilled snack on her nightstand in a clear plastic box with cotton balls.
She put the sandwich up for auction on eBay last week, drawing bids of up to 22,000 dollars before the auction house pulled the listing on Sunday, the daily said.
Duyser received an e-mail saying that eBay does not allow listings intended as a joke.
"How could eBay do this to me?" the distraught woman asked the Herald.

there are so many things that are disturbing in this story i dont know where to begin. first, that this woman sees the virgin mary in a half eaten grilled cheese sandwich. second, that she kept it for ten years. third, and arguably the worst part of this, that some dumbass is willing to pay 22k for it. what is wrong with people. if you have 22k just laying around why not help someone whos a little down on their luck. i would love to see the shrine this jerkoff sets up in his house for the sandwich. enough of this i'm going to my place of worship........krispy kreme
Famed Rocker Roth Goes From No. 1 to 911
Tue Nov 16,10:14 AM ET
NEW YORK - Instead of screaming "Jump," David Lee Roth will be yelling "clear!" The former Van Halen frontman is taking up a new trade — paramedic.
Roth, 50, has been riding for several weeks with a New York ambulance crew in training to become a paramedic, The New York Post reported Tuesday.
"I have been on over 200 individual rides now," said Roth. "Not once has anyone recognized me, which is perfect for me."
The singer, who spent a decade with Van Halen before embarking on a solo career, except a collaboration with the band for two new songs on a greatest hits album, has been riding along with crews in the Bronx, Manhattan and Brooklyn several nights a week.
His training seems to be going well.
Several weeks ago, Roth saved the life of a heart attack victim in the Bronx by using a defibrillator on her.
He takes his work so seriously that he did not want publicity so that it would not "diminish what I am trying to do here." He has said that he did not want the neighborhoods he was working in named so that he would not draw attention to himself or co-workers.
"You would never know you were dealing with a rock-'n'-roll guy," said Linda Reissman, Roth's EMS consultant and tutor. "His commitment really is touching. He wants to help people."

does anyone remember david lee roth? he should sue van halen for taking his life. does the ems in nyc have a leopard print spandex jump suit for dave to wear? i understand sammy hagar is working at a sunoco station. he doesnt want publicity? he's just embarassed that he needs to do this for some cash. it is better to burn out than to fade away.
Clothes are off and pride is on
One small step for Playboy, one giant leap for mankind.
Tomorrow during a photo shoot in Chicago, Jennifer Krum - a 25-year-old amputee model who lost her left hand and forearm in a car accident when she was 4 - will take it all off for a pictorial.
"If I was an able-bodied, all-of-my-limbs girl, I don't know if I'd do it," Krum confessed to Lowdown yesterday. "I'm doing it mainly because I want to send the message to people who are amputees, or have issues with confidence or don't find themselves attractive or sexy - that you can be attractive or sexy, even if you're an amputee."
Krum, who lives in Pennsylvania, was discovered by Hugh Hefner's venerable mag after she won Howard Stern's "Miss Amputee 2004" contest last week.
"They heard the broadcast and called Howard after they saw my pictures online. It says a lot about Playboy," she added. "They're sending a huge, positive message. They're saying they don't mind. It's a completely awesome thing around for everyone involved."

let me say that i saw this chick and even with one arm shes hot. i listen to howard every morning. he's the best. when he goes to sirius sattelite do i. dont ever say he doesnt perform a service .
well theres another day of odd stories that caught my eye. now that i'm done with this i'm going back to the kitchen and break all the coffee mugs with inspirational messages on them. "hang in there baby" my ass.

Tuesday, November 16, 2004

Weird it and weep

Apparently chicks in england are friendly......too bad most of the guys there are gay

A SKINT student has been banned from auctioning her BOOBS on the Net.
The girl, who called herself Twinkly Spangle, offered bidders a 15- minute fondling session with her 32C assets to fund her university fees.
She even promised a cup of tea and snack at her Colchester home - and included a naked snap of her cleavage on the site.
Bidding for the breasts, "still attached, great condition" started at £20 yet quickly soared to £180.
But eBay chiefs removed the ad - saying it broke their erotica ban.
A spokesman said: "We have strict rules on this."
Police seek help in graffiti smearing of dog
Kevin BlockerThe Arizona RepublicNov. 15, 2004 03:10 PM
Maricopa County Animal Control authorities are seeking the public's help to find the culprit who used hair or food color dye to paint graffiti on a white, female pit bull terrier."I have seen dogs with graffiti before, but I have never seen anything like this," said Julie Bank, a spokeswoman for Animal Control. "If you saw her from a distance, you'd think that black is part of this dog's natural hair color."She's just covered from head to toe.

Bank said officials are working with the Glendale Police Department to determine if the act of coloring the dog was gang-related."There's Spanish lettering, the word P-I-G and dollar signs painted all over her," Bank said. "Usually this kind of act is an indication of gang activity."Bank called the roughly 60- to 65-pound female pit bull an "absolute sweetie." She was found this weekend in Glendale.The dog will be held for 72 hours as a stray until it's claimed, according to Bank. If she goes unclaimed, authorities will try to find her a home as soon as possible."The black markings should come off, because it appears to be hair dye or food coloring," Bank said.Anyone with information about the dog should call Animal Control officials at (602) 506-7387.

Ok, this just begs to ask the question....How f'ed up are you to paint a dog. What , there are no buildings in your area? On the other hand ....How tough is the person who paints a PIT BULL?

Man Sets Himself Ablaze at White House
Monday, November 15, 2004
WASHINGTON — A man set himself afire Monday just outside a White House gate and repeatedly yelled "Allah Allah" after Secret Service (search) officers put out the flames and one held him facedown on the sidewalk.
U.S. Park Police (search) said the man was carrying a letter for President Bush. According to police investigators, the man talked with uniformed Secret Service officers at the northwest gate before pulling a lighter from his pocket and igniting his jacket.

So i see this headline and i quickly go to the article hoping beyond hope............ah shit, wrong guy set himself on fire.
Charges Dropped After Woman Uses Fake Bush $200 Bill
POSTED: 8:18 am EST November 15, 2004
GREENSBURG, Pa. -- President George W. Bush may have won re-election but he hasn't earned a place on U.S. currency.
That's news to a couple of people in Pennsylvania.
Authorities in Pennsylvania are dropping charges against a woman who used a phony $200 bill featuring Bush.
The fake bill has the current president's face on the front with the serial number DUBYA-4-U-2001. There's a picture of the White House on the back with several signs erected on the front lawn, including those reading "We Like Broccoli" and "USA Deserves A Tax Cut."
Deborah Trautwine was charged with passing the bogus $200 bill. Her attorney said she was unaware the currency was fake.
A clerk at a store called the Fashion Bug was also fooled and took the funny money and gave Trautwine more than $100 in change. For the record, there's no $200 bill -- and no currency with President Bush's picture.
The charges were dropped after the woman repaid the store in full.

Ok, is there anything a lawyer wont say to get his client off. Of course she didnt know there was no 200 dollar bill. If that is true she should go to jail for stupidity. At least have her steralized ........lets empty that gene pool. And what the fuck was the clerk thinking. Throw the two of them in the same cell and let them discuss it. This is a country of morons. You know that they both voted for bush. By the way, i'm going out now to cash in with my fake currency. Each one is worth 117.50 and has james polk on them. fashion i come

2004-11-15 - Wireless Flash Weird NewsLooking For Next Big Male Porn Star
CHATSWORTH, CA (Wireless Flash) -- Tomorrow (Nov. 16) will be a big day for porn director Seymore Butts -- he'll be looking for the next big male porn star.
Butts -- who also appears on the Showtime reality series, "Family Business" -- is holding auditions at his studio in Chatsworth, California, in hopes of finding a man who can handle the rough-and-tumble world of adult film.
As you might imagine, it's a hard job. Butts says 95 percent of guys who audition in the adult industry can't keep up with the workload.
Butts needs a man who can stay erect for 60 minutes at a time and admits that isn't easy when "two or three beautiful women are providing you with maximum stimulation."
In addition, he says guys who are ordinarily good at sex in their bedroom can become gun-shy when the camera is pointing at them.
Despite the job stress, Butts says a successful male porn star can earn $100,000 a year and, unlike female stars, have a career that lasts up to 25 years.
Interested males who are up for the job can apply by e-mailing Butts at

ok, lets be honest. Job stress is where if you dont have something done today you will lose your job, your house and your family. Job stress is when if i push this button a million people will die. Screwing women on film is truly at the low end of the job stress scale. Our president has alot of stre.............ok , thats not such a good example, but you get what i'm saying. This is most mens dream job. Anchor on espn pales in comparison.

ok, enough for one day. If your brain hurts from seeing some of these just relax and soon it will all fade away. Or you can be like me and run to my bathroom to jam a q-tip into my ear and punish my brain.