Friday, July 29, 2005

Fridays lecture series.........

yesterday was my 100th post

debra lefave, if you dont remember, is the teacher in florida that had sex numerous times with a 14 year old student. if you remember (and i do) this chick is way hot. i dont remember any teacher that i had looking like this woman. well shes going to trial. she was seen by two psychiatrists in florida and the states shrink says shes not insane and the defenses shrink says she is insane. she is going on trial on four felony counts of lewd and lascivious battery and one count of lewd and lascivious exhibition. each carries a maximum 15 year prison term. her lawyer turned down a plea bargain because they wanted her to do too much time and shes too pretty. thats right too pretty. her lawyer said "to place an attractive young woman in that kind of hell hole is like putting a piece of raw meat in with the lions. i'm not sure she would survive". thats a lot of balls. my thoughts go to the poor 14 year old student. did i say poor student? i meant the luckiest little bastard to come down the pike. i wish a hot teacher would have wanted to have sex with my ugly, scrawny little ass when i was 14. alas it was not to be. just me, a playboy and my right hand working at a feverish pace. i wouldnt have told anyone about her. kept my mouth shut and got laid. if she wants fruit from the forbidden tree then check out these apples.

luckily for pittsburgh we have the bassmasters tournament here this weekend....fucking up traffic. i cant think of anything at tis moment i would care to see less. i'd rather fish than watch guys fish and i dont like fishing. the only thing more boring than watching those guys fish is listening to it on the radio. i guess it brings alot of money into the city and thats good. oh well, maybe it will keep the putz's away from the things i want to do this weekend.

its friday. i think getting a case of beer at work will be a good idea.

Thursday, July 28, 2005

He's back....

sorry i didnt post yesterday. i needed a mental health day and i really didnt have anything that interesting to say (yet that doesnt stop me any other day). i called off of work, threw everyone out of the house for the day and slept. it was almost perfect....and then everyone came home.

ok, am i just being an old timer or is pumping money into nasa a losing proposition anymore. i think nasa can just be scrapped until everyone has a job , healthcare and a full belly. this space shuttle has been nothing but a loser since its start. the space station is in disrepair. either get it right or just admit that we havent moved very far since the moon shots in the late 60's and early 70's. we are still using the same propulsion system we used 40 years ago. there are actually some people who actually make a very good arguement against us ever putting a man on the moon. i love conspriacy theories.

echinacea is getting nailed in a government sponsored clinical tests. the man who ran the clinical testing was , at one time, a paid consultant to the pharmacuetical industry. the pharmacuetical companies dont want you buying medications over the counter so of course they put down herbal remedies. the government (and our legislators) get a ton of cash from the pharmacuetical companies so it is their best interest to put down herbal remedies too. i guess what i'm trying to ttell you is dont believe what the media tells you. take things that have worked for you in the past. i really love conspiracy theories.

if anyone from pennsylvania needed another reason to get the hell out of this state heres one more. our legislators just voted themselves another raise. we now have the highest paid government in the country. sure california pays each politician more BUT they have 70 compared to pa having 203. thats right their politicians serve seven time the constituents that pa's politcians do. i wouldnt mind if this state was run well but its not. wouldnt all of us like to vote ourselves a raise. hell, i'd vote daily. the worst part is there isnt much you can do. people here dont care. the same old guys will get more money and fleece us a little more each day.

thursday more day till the weekend.

Tuesday, July 26, 2005

Lets call this much better tuesday......

hey, its a much better day today. im felt so crappy yesterday and then i took a dump. who'd have guess being all backed up would do that to you. another reason why i shouldnt do pain meds.

TRAVERSE CITY, Mich. A Traverse City man has been charged with secretly taking pictures of women showering at a state park.
Mark Thomas Sanchez was arraigned on two counts of capturing images of an unclothed person -- a five-year felony.
Sanchez was arrested after someone reported a man taking pictures of women in a shower. Deputies found Sanchez with a digital camera that contained photos and videos of women from 14 to 52 years old.
Sanchez also was charged with carrying a concealed weapon. Deputies say he had a double-edged knife.
Court records show Sanchez has a prior conviction for fourth-degree criminal sexual conduct.

ST. PAUL, Minn. -- A sex offender from Texas suffocated a St. Paul man, then raped the victim's girlfriend before fleeing, prosecutors alleged Tuesday.
The girlfriend told investigators a man she knew only as "Face" tied them both up and threw her in a bathroom in the apartment she shared with her boyfriend on Saturday, according to a criminal complaint filed in Ramsey County District Court,
She told police she could hear muffled pleas from her boyfriend, Rodney Foster, 50 of St. Paul, before he went silent.
The complaint said she told police "Face," whom she identified through a photo lineup as Courtney B. Clark, 32, then raped her.
She also said she saw Foster's feet sticking out of a laundry bag and that Clark told her he had suffocated him. She alleged that after Clark raped her, he tried to suffocate her by putting a plastic bag over her head. She managed to rip the bag.
The woman said Clark left her tied up and she heard him moving Foster's body. Moments later, she said she heard what she thought was Foster's SUV start up and its tires squeal. But she said Clark returned and tried to walk her outside to the vehicle. The complaint said other residents started shouting at Clark, and she broke free and ran back inside before Clark drove away. The SUV was found abandoned Sunday in Minneapolis.
Prosecutors charged Clark with first-degree criminal sexual conduct and kidnapping. Investigators were still searching Tuesday for Foster's body and Clark.
The girlfriend said she believed Clark had been smoking crack-laced cigarettes and snorting heroin, according to the complaint.
Clark was registered as a sex offender living in Houston, according to the Texas Department of Public Safety. He had pleaded guilty to forcing a woman to perform a sex act in 1993 in Minneapolis and was sentenced to four years and seven months in prison.

these are just two stories i came across surfing around. now can anyone tell me what these two stories have in common. cmon. thats right both men had already been arrested for sex crimes. now some city in jersey is trying to pass a law that sex offenders in their city cant live within 2000 feet of a school, church or , get this, a bus stop. this in effect does NOT allow sex offenders to reside in their community. i like this. sorry, i dont agree with dicrimination but i'm tired of all these freaks running around. frankly , cant we ship all the sex offenders to france. thats a wonderful solution. they took roman polanski in there. i would be all for pittsburgh voting in the same law as that jersey town. go let the sex offenders live somewhere else.

tuesdays here.......we must get something done today

Monday, July 25, 2005

Dressing yourself and other gambles......

you dont realize how much you use your shoulders. sometimes i need to get help out of bed...or off of the couch. thats humbling but near as humbling as having to have help getting dressed. i thought i would do it myself but after breaking out in a horrible sweat and hurting my shoulder i asked my wife. she smiled and said "no problem" but i could tell with that smile she was laughing at me inside. at least i could wipe my own ass. the pain pills are a strong narcotic (or so they said) and i took two before going to bed......bad move. these didnt give you the cool halucinations that they show on tv, you know the ones, bright colors, talking flowers, everyone happy. no, these were the kind where they are in black and white (mostly black) with devil chasing you while riding a dragon and trying to steal your soul. i'll cut that back to one tonight for sure. so its one more humiliating day in a life full of them....big deal. i'll get over it.

its monday......lets have some fun

Saturday, July 23, 2005

Drugs play with my mind.......

its saturday and i'm home. surgery went fine. they caught the problem before it tore and all the doctor had to was shave the bone that was impinging on my rotor cuff. sounds simple......hurts like hell. i dont do drugs well thouigh i envy people that do. the pain pills just make me vomit as did alot of the prescription drugs i took in high school. hard liquor has that same effect sometimes. i do love screwing with the nurses though. here is an excerpt from an actual conversation.
nurse...."have you ever taken percocets before"
shoes...."only the ones i didnt sell to the schoolkids"
nurse...."oh, oh my"
shoes...."hey, i didnt sell them to the public school kids. i only sold to the
private school kids. i'm no asshole"
the nurses dont have the same sense of humor that i do. doctors either for that matter. heres another conversation
nurse...."just push this button and you get a dose of morphine. have you ever used
one of these before"
shoes...."use one! i was hoping to win the home version of this game"
no stitches thank god he didnt have a nail gun. well at least i'm home now and things can get as close to normal as they can be. i'm going to go lay down now. i've been up sinse 4am. thats when the woke me after i finally got to sleep to see how i was doing. i guess my tears werent as good a clue as i thought they would be.

thanks for all your good wishes

Friday, July 22, 2005

Fridays child.......

well i go under the knife at 2:15pm so until then i can give some of my thoughts away.

if you cared to look my picture is now on my blog. i was waiting for the perfect picture to come around. you know ...THAT PICTURE. the one where you ass crack isnt showing or your not cross dressing or having sex with an underage vietnamese girl. well yesterday it happened. as i explained yesterday i work in a rather unsavory part of town. the fact that prostitutes walk up and down the sidewalk in front of the business and i can buy crack from my office window would be an indicator of that. ok, so the picture is small and even when you go into the profile and blow it up its hard to see but i'm standing in front of a wall in a vacant, overgrown lot where one of the fine citizens spray painted the wall to say "crackhead park". that isnt a dumpster in front its the worlds largest outdoor grill. ten minutes before that picture was taken i watched a woman squat down and take a squirt behind the dumpster..........i mean the grill. i was almost overcome by the stench of urine while being photographed so dont tell me we supermodels dont have it rough. i had the picture taken in the afternoon when it was about 90 degrees so there were no whores or crackheadds around to get in the picture with me. i would have given them a couple bucks for their time. knowing my boss we just found the spot for next years company picnic.

i realize that this wonderful country has a seperation of church and state and that we are all gods children and being created in his image are all equal......except those f'in catholics. it seems that a christian adoption agency in mississippi (which by the way gets part of its funds from from the sale of certain license plates)is turning away catholic couples. bethany christian services has 75 ofices in 30 states. a national spokesman said the offices are independently incorporated and are affiliated with various christian denominations. the national president of the agency said they dont flatly bar catholics BUT they do let state branches set their own policy. anyone care to argue that organized religion isnt divisive. anyone care to argue that this is discrimination and seeing that they get state funds they should just be shut down. any think that god will embrace these assholes when its all done. the mississippi branch said that the catholic religion conflicts with the adoption agencies statement of faith. i wonder how that statement is worded...


happy friday everyone. i may post tommorrow if i feel up to it

Thursday, July 21, 2005

The thursday review

i work in a predominately black area of pittsburgh that is known as the hill district (or if you have a business here and dont want you customers to stay away because of the stigma....uptown). companies know that it is a majority black just like everyone else so i guess i shouldnt have been shocked last saturday when i was opening mail at work. we got a disc from aol (you know...upgrade to aol 8.765431)
that was addressed to my company at their hill district address and right on the front is a sticker that says "new aol, BLACK VOICES , created with you in mind". black voices? now i have thoughtr about this for a couple of days and i'm not sure who i feel or more to the point how a black person would feel. should i be mad because of the stereotype or should i be glad that aol is catering to me. i guess that could be argued both ways (and if your pittsley five different ways) but what i want to know is what are the voices like. if aol wasnt so insidious and ruin your computer i would download this and see. is the voice james earl jones, chappelle, halle berry or even better is just some crack head loser like we have in droves around here. yo yo yo you got mail muthafucka. if i thought it was actually something like that i would download instantly. muthafucka answer yo mail. how sweet would that be.

in a follow-up to a previous post the chick in my office who was getting dates over the computer bought a new ford suv. thats not the story. her salesman, within fifteen minutes of meeting her, is going over his sex life with her. hes hitting on her big time. she ends up buying the car on thursday and then on saturday the bomb drops. the headlines in the saturday pittsburgh post gazette say that the police arrested a man impersonating pittsburgh steeler quarterbacks ben roethlisberger and brian st. pierre and .....well i think you can figure out where this is going.......thats her salesman. i told her to call the paper. hell, she knows intimate details of his sex life. is she just the luckiest woman ever when it comes to meeting men. i'm glad she didnt get pulled into that but on the other hand her stories would be wonderful for my blog. by the way guys shes still available.

well kids i'm getting my rotator cuff surgically repaired tomorrow. i dont know if i will post tomorrow or saturday......but i will be back.

ok its thursaday. eat breakfast then get to work.

Wednesday, July 20, 2005

Fundamentalism rears its retarded head......

Gender: male
Industry: Student
Occupation: Divinities
Location: Southgate : Michigan : United States
About Me
Bookworm Fundamentalist, Reformed Baptist, Revised Dispensationalist, and Good Music Advocate
Jesus Christ
Reformed theology
presuppositional apologetics
Favorite Movies
Lord of the Rings
Star Wars
Favorite Music
Choir of New College Oxford
The Chieftains
John Williams
George Winston
Favorite Books
Biblia Hebraica Stuttgartensia
United Bible Society Greek New Testament (4th edition)
New International Version
The Pleasures of God
The Greatness of the Kingdom
Faithful Witness: The Life and Mission of William Carey

yesterday i posted my thoughts regarding the vatican condemning the harry potter bookss. my new friend pittsley , whos profile you see here, commented on my thoughts. i guess hes having a hard time wrapping his head around how i decide for myself what is fact and what is fiction. apparently the concept of having no proof making something fiction just doesnt fly. pittsley, let me explain once more. fiction, to me, is when you make up a story without any facts to back it. if i made up a story about a clown who flew to the would be fiction. i cant prove that it didnt happen BUT i made the story up in my head. this is exactly like j.k. rowlings did with harry potter or dan brown did with the davinci codes or in a more real sense what the catholic church did at the council of nicosea (forgive me if i did not spell that right) where the church decided what went into the bible and what did not. no, pittsley , i cannot prove that god does not exist nor do i wan to. you might be suprised to find that i actually believe in god. i think about god all the time actually. what i dont believe in is organized religion. now i understand that you are a student and you occupation is divinities so i'll let your long winded, pointless comments go and blame it on the fact that you might have learned a whole new set of words at school this year and need to try them out. unlike you i'm more to the point. all i need to do is look at your profile interests and favorite books and i know exactly where you argument will go. so i hope i explained MY thoughts on facts and fiction. i used small words and wrote slowly with the hope that you would get it. remember pittsley this is MY blog and MY beliefs. good luck with the fundamentalism. remember you cant have religious fundamentalism without fun and mental.

p.s. pittsley , please go get laid this summer. your backed up dude. even if you need to pay it would be worth it for you

hump day again .........i guess ranting like this kind of makes me a fundamentalist too..........doesnt it?

Tuesday, July 19, 2005

Pope nazi speaks up.......

pope nazi (or pope benedict to the faithful) spouted off this week regarding harry potter. apparently harry potter books corrupt the young. he believes the harry potter books subtly seduce young readers and "distort christianity in the soul" before it can develop properly, according to comments attributed to him by a german writer. the german writer, gabriele kuby, a devout catholic (need i say more), had written a book called "harry potter-good or evil" which attacks j.k. rowling's books, published extracts from two letters sent to her by pope nazi when he was a cardinal thanking her for her critique of the books. the vatican earlier this year condemned "the davinci code" another bestseller. i think the vatican needs to understand the difference between fiction and non-fiction. let me now explain it to the very religious........if you make up a story its called fiction. stories in this category would include "the davinci code" or the harry potter series and in the truest sense the bible. just to show how out of touch the vatican is the sixth harry potter book set a new record for sales over the last weekend selling 250k books an hour on the average. the record it broke was from the fifth harry potter book. maybe this shows that there is hope for the world by not paying attention to religious kooks. lets be honest , pope nazi, learned all about book burning in the hitler youth in his younger days. so hears a letter to the vatican.....

dear vatican,
please leave everyone alone and stay out of peoples minds. old men like you have no idea whats going on in the world and not a clue regarding popular culture. please stick with what you know ie: fleecing the stupid of their cash and molesting altar boys.

your friend in christ,

someone see that that gets to pope nazi

its tuesday and i'll be golfing this afternoon. i'll think of you

Monday, July 18, 2005

This is gonna leave a mark.....

as i turned to my paper saturday morning i was greeted with this headline "tee-ball coach charged in assault". of course i just thought that this was a caoch fighting with another coach or an umpire or an enraged parent....etc. you can take your pick most times but this was even worse than that. seems in fayette county (one of the counties surrounding pittsburgh) a tee-ball coach was arraigned on felony charges that he bribed a 7 year old player to throw a baseball at a mentally disabled teammates face to keep the boy out of the game. state police said mark downs jr. , 27, of dunbar, offered his star player $25 to hit an 8 year old autistic child with a baseball because he wanted to win the game. this child was hit in the ear and when he didnt go down the kid then hit him in the groin. when the autistic child told the coach downs suggested he sit out the game. the autistic childs mother confronted the player who threw the ball and he ratted on the coach. the mother said she signed up the child for tee-ball in the hopes that it would help him overcome some of the social stigma he might face in the future. ok, so thats the story. it took me two days to get all this through my head. i can just picture the coach. he probably was some half assed failed athlete in his youth and now he lives vicariously through his children. hes going to make them major league players. this child will never have any memories of playing baseball besides these and now those will be of people trying to hurt him. and i'm sure the star player is killing animals around his house even as we speak. is this how murderers start? what wouls this guy get if they won that would make him do such a thing. did he think if his tee-ball team won that the pirates were going to be calling him up. "wow, mcclenndon is really screwing up, we better call mark downs jr. right away. i understand his tee-ball team just won today". he should never be allowed to coach/teach children in any manner regarding anything ever again. of course maybe in jail he will learn some lessons about how the weak get picked on.

its monday.......what a way to start the week

Saturday, July 16, 2005

The two groups

there are two groups of people in the world. ok, that was a bold statement, let me explain. i'm now sorting everyone into two groups. those that get IT.......and the rest. people that get IT...well ...they just get IT. they dont get upsetby religious and racial stereotypes. they realize just how ridiculous those are. you can tell a funny ethnic joke to them and they will laugh, even if its about their own ethnicity. hell nobody tells better irish jokes than i do. and regarding religion well.....the ones that get it realize that organized religion is just a big joke anyway. republican? democrat? i think those that get IT arent either. if you are ruled, politcally, by common get IT. when you realize that all polticians, regardless of party, are out to screw you and make themselves richer and more get IT. if you find all the t-shirts on get IT. nothing is funnier than reading their newsletter with the hate mail they get which reads "i always thought your shirts were funny until you made fun of___________ (fill in the blank). my sister had that and died. i hope you go out of business". oh, so it was all fun and games while they made fun of every other thing that didnt pertain to you but now that something struck close to home..........they are BAD. those letter writes DONT get IT. so all you thin skinned , pc douche bags better get a grip. none of you get IT. most of you will never get IT. I get IT! most of the bloogers i link to....get IT. if you dont get IT you probably shouldnt be reading this now. in the words of abe simpson "i used to be with IT but then things changed and what was IT wasnt in anymore and what is now IT scares me".

its saturday ....lets get with IT.

Thursday, July 14, 2005

Internet porn and my increasing perviness

ok, i look at internet porn. if god didnt want me to see it he wouldnt have made breasts so great and surely he wouldnt have made the internet (you didnt know al gore was god , did you?). as i sit here wasting my life , staring at porn something struck me as funny. i'm on a site called video post and they title all the sites with movies ie: chubby movies, hardcore, groupsex....etc. so here i am watching a video of some one-legged, teenage, asian, lesbian nuns spanking a goat and then the next site is titled "bizarre movies". what the hell could be more bizarre than what i have just seen? dont you mean more bizarre? how jaded do people in that industry get? imagine what those people consider kinky. imagine your in a bar and spy this really hot chick. you strike up a conversation. she just got done with work and wants to relax. you two decide to go back to her place where you engage in a spirited game of tonsil hockey. finally after shedding all your clothes like paris hilton at the playboy mansion she asks if you want to get kinky. you ask what she has in mind and then she says she wants to nail your left foot to the floor and cut off both your arms while fellating you. ok, to some of you that would be fun but i think thats what those people NEED to get off.

just a random thought.....go to bed

Rick santorum.........american jerkoff

seems like evertime ricky santorums name comes up its because his foot is firmly imbedded in his mouth. first this jerkoff shows up in florida for terry schaivo. well ricky was actually there for a fundraiser or some other such nonsense and realized the opportunity for a photo op. being the media whore that he is he runs right for the cameras. why isnt he in d.c. doing his job.......i guess in his defense its because the job of all politicians is to get re-elected. he also wrote a book blasting working women for not staying at home. well ricky alot of women have to work just to make ends meet. unlike all you politicians we cant vote ourselves a raise when things get a little hairy. sure some really like their jobs but i think a good majority work because they like the finer things in life like a roof over their heads, food, it comes out that he wrote a column for an web site called catholics online wherein he wrote that the catholic churches pedophile scandal was centered in boston in part because of the morally permissive culture. he wrote that even though he is sickened and repulsed by the preist abuse it could creat an opoortunity to purge the american catholic seminaries of the "cultural liberalism" (ie: thoughts) that has infected them. THE CHURCH IS LIBERAL? since when ricky. he also wrote "when the culture is sick, every element in it becomes affected. while it is no excuse for this scandal, it is no suprise that boston, a seat of academic, political and cultural liberalism in america, lies at the center of the storm". so because the people there just dont roll over and believe everything the church says they are at fault for the pedophiles. actually had the people just rolled over for the church none of this would have come out. i guess ricky doesnt blame the bishop that knew what was going on but just hid a pedophile and moved him around, effectively giving him a whole new group of victims every couple of years. as i recall there are other cities where the church took a beating and might have to file for backruptcy. the church isnt liberal by any means. for christs sake they just voted in a 200 year old hardliner as pope. i agree with ricky that its a good time to purge......america of religious fundamentalism. the divisivness of religions is pulling this country apart and putting us behind the rest of the world. churches dont need your money......quit giving them cash and they will all dry up and blow away.

thursday is here and i didnt get enough here i come

Wednesday, July 13, 2005

Unimportant stuff.........

it has ben said that in the absense of important things people will apply importance to things randomly. nature abhors a vacuum. now when i put the topblogs rating on my blog i knew this would happen sooner or later. THE RANKING WARS. fighting over whos number one and how they got there. the top four blogs are to blog. funny that they are all blogs run by men. i got onto the site from a blog run by a woman. she had a link, i checked it out, thought it was funny and put it on mine. i purposely did not put this link near the top of my blog (you actually have to hunt for it) so if you vote for me fine if not ...well thats fine too. who cares if your number one. it wont get me more money, it wont make my life better but apparently in the bizarro blog world this has been given importance by these guys. i guess over the net you cant just whip our cocks out and see whos is longest (i'd lose) so they will do this instead. they have taken to putting the link at the very top of their sites, asking all visitors to vote for them and accusing the others of stuffing the proverbial ballot box. is it any wonder that the world is always at war somewhere. men just have to argue about something. oh well, thats just my rant. i told you in the title it was just unimportant stuff and i'm bored right now.

its hump day......anyone care to hump

Tuesday, July 12, 2005

The hotter it gets the crazier people get

willie nelson is going to put out a reggae cd. now willie nelson is an aquired taste at best as is reggae. put them both together and i think it might sound something like someone beating a baby with a banjo while playing the bagpipes. what can willie possibly be thinking. are his hardnosed country fans really going to buy this cd? isnt he a little old to try and be a crossover star? i guess the irs really pounded him moneywise when he didnt pay his taxes. i really want to meet the record label exec who greenlighted this impending train wreck. dont be looking for this at the grammys anytime soon.

along the same line ringo is mad at sir paul for not having him drum at live 8. hey ringo, he and john dragged you into history in the 60's. how about you try to do something on your own now. ringo is, at best, an average drummer. a wind up monkey toy could have played drums just as well on any beatles album. hell, ringo played as if he was a wind up monkey drummer toy. hell, ringo LOOKS like a wind up monkey drummer toy. ringo, just be glad you were along for that ride all those years ago. you were the ugliest beatle, with the worst voice and the least amount of talent and you still got katherine bach in her prime. now shut up ringo.

god is back at it. in his "redemption and damnation tour 2005" of the red states he showed up this time in east chicago , indiana. seems city officials there had to turn off a street light in the name of public safety. seems this light drew over 250 people to see a shadow that some say resembles the image of jesus christ (or at least the image the catholic church wants you to think christ looked like). thats the best part of it. the image we all think of when we think of christ probably doesnt resemble him at all. i really wonder how many fair skinned white men with long flowing hair were running around the mid east at that time. the one thing i realize in his 2005 tour is that god really has a bad pr department. he would get much larger crowds with just a little advance press.

and finally, in a survey done by aol and american workers admit to wasting over 2 hours a day at work. personal internet use is the biggest culprit in this. let me assure you (though i'm sure you already know this) that i am well above average. most of my blog posts are done while i sit at work. i can post, get free coffee...etc. i wonder if i can work a raise out of this. it makes you proud to be an american.

its tuesday and a work day....start wasting time everyone

Monday, July 11, 2005

Random thoughts....

this last week really kicked my ass. with all the things i did with my family i never got enough sleep. this week doesnt look to be shaping up any better. i need some days off just to recuperate from the weekend. the problemn is the weather has been too nice. that should change this week as the hurricanes finally make it to the ohio valley and ruin golf for a couple of days.
as i was sitting around having lottery fantasies (which i regularly do) i came to the conclusion that the people i really hate are the one s that win the lottery and then say they will continue to work. continue to work? what is wrong with these people? i wouldnt work again (at least until the money ran out). i wouldnt give two weeks notice. would they give two weeks notice to me? hell no. they didnt give two weeks notice to the guy who had this job before me. i really like when a group wins because in all that joy i know there is some poor bastard who didnt get in because he knew they would never win. you just know that guy is going home to hang himself in his basement. see there is humor in every situation.
this weekend we all went to the big butler county fair. let me just say that i'm a city boy. i like the sound of a sirren once in a while. it really lets you know your alive. it is at the fair, walking through the animal exhibits, that i realize that living on a farm is a filthy , smelly existence. those pigs smelled like.....well......pigs. holy christ, the stench coming off them was worse than a fat chick chasing down bon jovi for an autograph on a hot day. they just lay in there own filth, crapping on each other....etc. they make your ass licking dog seem sanitary. i'm glad there are farms and farmers but i'll just stay in the city...thank you.
at the top of the ironic category is this story. tom rogers, 87, creator of charlie the tuna drowned while swimming alone in his pool in north carolina. charlie the tuna was always being turned down by starkist. i hope he and charlie are together now. sorry tom, only the best swimmers make it to the pool ladder. please dont tell me that i will burn in hell for that know your all going to use it. at least the ones who are old enough to remember charlie the tuna will.

well kids enjoy your monday. the weekend will be here before you know it

Sunday, July 10, 2005

How well are things really going in iraq

lets all try to seperate what your being told from whats really happening in iraq.

U.S. commander says enemy in Baghdad blunted
By Rowan ScarboroughTHE WASHINGTON TIMESJuly 9, 2005
The top U.S. commander in Baghdad said yesterday that a two-month counterinsurgency sweep has "mostly eliminated" the enemy's ability to "conduct sustained high-intensity operations" around the Iraqi capital.

thats right, straight frfom the washington post into our brains. they couldnt print it if it wasnt true....right? this man is the top u.s. commander. and then just like that..........

BAGHDAD, Iraq (AP) - Suicide bombings struck Iraq on Sunday, killing at least 23 and wounding dozens more in three attacks on an army recruiting center, a police convoy and civilians, authorities said.
The attacks pushed the death count to over 1,500 people killed from violence since April 28, when Prime Minister Ibrahim al-Jaafari announced his Shiite- and Kurd-dominated government in a country under attack from an insurgency led by Iraq's Sunni Arab minority.
In the deadliest blast Sunday, a man strapped with explosives blew himself up at a west Baghdad airfield now used as a military recruiting center, police said. Early casualty reports varied, with a hospital official saying at least 16 died while a Defense Ministry employee reported up to 25 killed

well did we really put a dent in their abilities to operate business as usual or is the ap writing fake stories. just one day after our top general speaks they just keep going and operating around baghdad. the general should stay quiet. this is like daring them to do stuff.....and they will. they have no problem blowing up their own people so why would they have any problem blowing up our brave but underequpped soldiers. i know that i get painted with an unpatriotic brush for these posts but i read others that print the administrations views as if they are gospel. i just want people to think for themselves. i also find that alot of those posts are from people too old to be drafted or without children. remember that what shocked us in london just days ago the iraqi people put up with on a daily basis.

just some stuff for you to think about while you ride around on sunday

Saturday, July 09, 2005

Online dating....why this might not be such a good idea

i work with a woman who is really trying to make this whole online dating thing work for her. so far it hasnt. now i understand that you may have to kiss a multitude of toads before finding your prince but as toads go shes having a rough time. i did tell her that i found her story to be blogworthy and she just laughed and said go ahead. first she puts a real picture of herself on this site but most of these guys dont. let me go through some of the guys.
1. spider man. they meet at a coffee shop where he sits with his legs spread as wide as he can. she says she felt like he was trying to pull her in. like he had some kind of groin tractor beam. needless to say he didnt get a second chance.
2. pauly wallnuts. this guy has a picture of himself on the site from the seventies. in person he has more hair coming out of his nose than most have on their heads. she said he looked exactly like pauly walnuts from the sopranos but seeing that i dont have hbo i'll take her word for it.
3. denture man. he has a number of pictures on his site....some from the seventies and some new. he describes himself as a cross between omar shariff and john stossel. this actually describes everyone i've ever seen on al-jaziera tv. i'm pretty sure this guy cant fly in the u.s. without a complete strip search. hes well educated and well spoken but he makes some fatal mistakes. he gets close too fast trying to hold hands or put his arm around her too early in the game. he also has dentures. as she says its something she cannot ages him. i guess the lingering scent of old spice and dentu-cream was too much for her though he got a second date.
4. the miner. this is the newest one. he's 6' 5". well read and , survey says, A COAL MINER. i just laughed and laughed. the jury is still out on this guy.
she has confided in me asking where have all the good men gone. well i'm married so shes out of luck here but keep least your getting some free meals. and guys, this is the time to learn about women. oh i know, you guys know everything about women. BALLS. you know nothing. if you are going to online date then there needs to be some rules like dont bring a rose or roses on the first date......its creepy. dont try to hold hands or put your arm around her immediately....thats creepy too. some of these guys just give you the impression that they have kept a momento of all their past girlfriends.........their heads and that they usually dont get dates without duct tape and chloroform. they like their women like they like their coffee....ground up and in the freezer.

btw, this broad is hot so anyone wanting to meet her can leave their e-mail in the comments and i'll pass them along.

alright kids, its saturday. dont spend it inside. go out and knock the stink off of yourselves

Friday, July 08, 2005

Kooks, kooks and more kooks

i was recently turned on to a web site by a friend and i think its wonderful. its i really like to keep my eyes on the religious kooks the most. i find them to be the scariest group by far. christians and yet so close to the taliban that its unbelievable. make no mistake....if our government was run by christians the way ....say......iran is we would have daily book burnings and stonings get the idea. this site is good because it points out things so clearly. i dont get these archaeologists and all there research. why waste their time when all they have to do is read the bible. it tells you plainly that the world is only 6000 years old and that noahs ark was real. t-rex bones? gods little trick? no, noah had one on the ark. cmon, use your heads....its all there in black and white and if you cant trust the bible (a book that has been altered by the catholic church) who can you trust. another really bizarre site is these nuts make the people at the other sites look normal. i really think its up to all of us to keep an eye on the nutjobs running around trying to force their beliefs upon all of us.

i'm very glad that shasta groene was found alive but really what kind of life will this little girl ever have. she has probably seen this animal, joseph edward duncan III, kill her mother, the mothers boyfriend and her brothers. she was constantly molested by this animal. to say this little girl will be carrying some baggage around with her forever would be a gross understatement. so young and yet her whole life is ruined. they are trying to get him to tell them where the body of the one brother is but he wont cooperate. give him to me for ten minutes and he will talk. if hooking this animals balls up to a car battery will loosen his tongue then all i can say is that red is positive, make sure you get them on correctly. do we even need a trial for this sick bastard. some lawyer will argue that his mommy didnt give him enough attention or some such nonsense but he needs to be eliminated.

for those of you who dont live in pennsylvania (and believe me your the lucky ones) we have a little something we like to call state stores and beer distributors. see the state controls liquor sales in the state. these stores are not privately owned. if you want a case of beer you have to go to a beer distributor. until this year you couldnt buy liquor on sundays and now you can only get it in certain test stores. you cannot get a case of beer on sundays at all. this dates back to when you had blue laws and god would get mad if you went shopping on sundays. this state is still run by the elderly. thats right, the same people who cant work the vcr or the remote dictate to the rest of us. maybe this is starting to change. the state legislator passed a bill to allow beer to be sold by the case on sundays and our governor is supposed to sign it. i hope this leads to beer in the grocery stores. now if only the elderly would pass away and we could get gambling run through quickly. no wonder young people are leaving this state in droves.

well its friday. the weather is supposed to be great here this weekend. i hope its good where you are too.

Thursday, July 07, 2005

My my my my vasectomy (sung to the tune of my sharona)

well the time has come to get snipped. for the betterment of the planet and the collective gene pool i'm getting fixed. so now i must go through the humiliation of this procedure. yesterday i went to the doctor for my consultation. CONSULTATION! i dont need that. i'm 44 with a ten week old. i dont need a consultation......i need fixed. for christs sake even my wife agrees but you must put up with that. he wants to make sure everything is in working order. isnt a ten week old like a signed affidavit from god concerning that? apparently not. after explaining everything to me i have to take my shorts off and get up on the table. hes pulling my junk and yanking on my testicles like michael jackson during a sleepover at the neverland ranch when i just completely lose it. i start laughing like a retard at the zoo. to the point where the doctor stops and asks me whats so funny. how do you explain the funnyness of that. sorry it just struck me as funny. he then start talking about the procedure. "i'll make a small incision here and here".....thats when i stopped him. i had to explain that ,just like my wife , when hes talking about my genitalia the word small should never be used in any manner. words like huge and gigantic are acceptable...but never the word small. we both got a laugh and then he checked my prostate. for you ladies this entails me leaning over the table while he jams his hand up my ass. he pounded my prostate like the bouncer at a turkish bath before announcingh that everything is just dandy and that i can get dressed. i did ask him during that check if he was supposed to have both hands on my shoulders....but he didnt laugh at all. yeah. is it any wonder i drink. i dont know why i like telling my embarrassing stories to you people but i do hope you get a laugh.....i did.

ok now, get out of here. go play in the sprinkler

Wednesday, July 06, 2005

The prom story......for rachael

the year was 1979. supertramp was the big ALBUM and i was just cruising out the rest of my senior years in high school. i wasnt seeing anyone at the time which was just fine with me. see proms, basketball games....etc were just bullshit as far as i was concerned. in my school there were over five thousand students in four grades. the beautiful people ruled the school and i wasnt one of them. i had only five classes my senior yearwhich was wonderful and had this same hot chick in three of the classes which was both good and bad (you'll understand the bad later). well she and i struck up a friendship which was odd because she ran with the beautiful people and i was from the wrong side of the tracks. she had a boyfriend but he had gone away to college and hadnt called her all school year. she was bummed out about this so being the gentleman i am (and wanting into her pants in a very bad way) i asked her to the prom.........and she said yes. my buddies all knew i was in over my head but that didnt stop me. i went out and rented a tux. it was the seventies and disco was still big so of course the tux was powder blue with a a ruffled shirt and lapels that were about a foot wide. shut up....the blue matched her dress. so leading up to the prom we went on a couple of dates i had dinner at her house with her parents...etc. her father..or stepfather in this case was a career military man and as i ate dinner with them for the first time asked me if was considering the military after school. now i had hair that went half way down my back and a full beard and mustache so i didnt fit the military mold and i told him no. he and i struck up a friendship because i was the first guy she brought home who answered honestly. he and i talked that night over some beers while he cleaned his many handguns. he and i would occasionally go out and shoot his guns at the rifle range. this young lady was the first sexually agressive woman i had ever met. her mom had her on birth control pills since eighth grade, other guys had actually slept over, she had no curfew. as i look back it was pretty lax parenting but at the time they couldnt be cooler. one month before the prom the old boyfriend shows up from college and spends the weekend at her house and on monday she tells me that shes going to the prom with him. i wasnt pissed off about not going to the prom but i was pissed off about losing the money on the tux deposit and the tickets and generally being made to look like a jackass. oh well , nothing my burgeoning alcoholism couldnt erase from my memory. the downside is sitting in threee of my five classes with her every day. then, two weeks before the prom, she asks me one day if we can talk privately. seemd mr college decided that college girls might be more fun than her and called to say he was backing out on her AND would i care to still go to the prom with her. now i didnt have alot but i had my pride and i still had two tickets so i said yes. i confirmed that the dress was still the same color, set up a time to pick her up (pictures you know) and went about my daily routine with no intention of ever showing up on prom night. when prom night rolled around i was sitting in the woods drinking iron city beer and imagining how pisseed this young lady must be. of course a dozen beers will stop all that thought and they did their jobs that night.......and for the whole weekend. on the bus to school monday i explained to my buddy joe that this might turn ugly and i may have to dodge things or actually run for my life. oh it turned ugly. as i entered the school the phrase " YOU MOTHERFUCKER" echoed off of the walls. hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. i dodged her for a short while but as you may remember she was in three of my five classes. to say they were uncomfortable would be a gross misunderstatement. her and her girlfriends sat in those rooms and stared at me everyday for three weeks but in the end guys and more than a few girls (and two teachers) congratulated me for standing up and maybe teaching her a lesson. i did get a call from her stepfather.......asking me to go shooting with him. i went and we had a good time. i did explain to him what had happened and he laughed and shook my hand. he was glad his spoiled little stepdaughter got what was coming to her. needless to say she wasnt so happy to see me at her door for the date with her father.

well, there you have it. one in a series of horrible high school stories. i hope you all get a laugh from it

hump day get humpin

Tuesday, July 05, 2005

Holidays wear my tired ass out

so the fourth has come and gone and i'm tired as hell. we left the house at 7:30 am and got home (three parties later) at 10:30 pm. i really didnt want to go to the last party but we went and stayed for their gala fireworks display. now this isnt my favorite couple to go visit. first the husband has a raging alcoholism problem and because hes bigger than god nobody says a word. now i dont mind a little alcoholism (hell i might have a touch myself) but whenever these people go away all he does is sit and drink. go to the carribean....find a bar. hell i dont need to go away to get loaded. as a matter of fact i can get loaded near home a lot cheaper. i also dont fit in well with the crowd which consists of gearheads and construction hacks who think that sarcasm is just another word in the dictionary. my humor is lost on that crowd. the wife is one of those controlling enablers who wants to get pregnant and cant (largely due to his drunken sperm i'm guessing) but has no problem telling you how to raise you children guessed it.......she took a parenting class in high school. look that was twenty years ago so why dont you mind your own business. it never ceases to amaze me how people without children are so quick with those great child rearing tips. please keep the tips to yourself folks....seeing your childless i'm not sure you know how to screw much less raise children. as we were leaving the last party the hostess said i looked tired. i explained that we had been on the run all day to which she announces " well i know what you mean. so have i". ok they put out a big spread and open their house to a large number of people every fourth but i'd like to see her do what my wife and i do. i think my wife and i could put on a party every weekend but i'm not sure she could go fifteen hours with three children (one of which is a newborn). on the upside the weather was great all weekend so you couldnt ask for much more.

well everyone its a short work week so dont waste it

Sunday, July 03, 2005

Fourth of july, families and well.........

i love the fourth of july holiday. it allows me some extra time off from my boring, mundane , unfullfilling job. it allows me to pursue my alcoholism while my wife drives. on the other hand it also allows you the opportunity to listen to the same tired bitching over and over. oh well, you really dont get to pick your family now do you? now saturday i got to sit around with my in-laws while they bad mouth each other behind each others back. this may sound horrible to some but to the rest of us with average families this is just typical party fair. luckily enough i've been able to steer clear of the fighting. this might be due to the fact that when it comes to civilized conversation i shoot the wounded. i hold nothing back and as i explore my alcoholism i hold back even less. the worst part of all of this is that i've heard the stories a million times before and yet they are told as if its breaking news. sunday was different. we went to see my brother who lives about thirty miles from me. this is the brother who i fought with like ali-frazier growing up (me being frazier which means once in a while i got in a lucky punch but almost always just ended up getting my ass beat). we've gone closer over the years. some would say its because of similar expirences but actually its because hes the funniest son of a bitch i know. he could tell you jokes for an hour, none of which you had ever heard before, all of which would leave you bent over catching your breath trying to write them down so your lame ass could tell them the next work day. we all went fishing (which i havent done in twenty years) and the cooked out. a truly wonderful day that leaves me wishing he lived closer. now the fourth will be spent with the same in-laws from saturday. i will hear the same stories about each one (not , of course, while they are in the room) and i'll drink heavily to get through. my wife's cousin is a wonderful person who will start cooking at four in the morning and cook a buffet breakfast for a couple of hundred people then its the parade and then on to swimming and dinner. i must say though that when it comes to my in-laws its nice being the 800 pound gorilla that nobody screws with for fear of feeling my drunken verbal wrath. children be damned but if i have to drop an f or c-bomb on you to win the argument....well alls fair in war. so everyone enjoy your fourth. drink well....DONT DRIVE. be glad your where you are and its not with me.

sorry about no posts this week. it was a busy week and i really just didnt have the time. regular posts will be back