Saturday, July 09, 2005

Online dating....why this might not be such a good idea

i work with a woman who is really trying to make this whole online dating thing work for her. so far it hasnt. now i understand that you may have to kiss a multitude of toads before finding your prince but as toads go shes having a rough time. i did tell her that i found her story to be blogworthy and she just laughed and said go ahead. first she puts a real picture of herself on this site but most of these guys dont. let me go through some of the guys.
1. spider man. they meet at a coffee shop where he sits with his legs spread as wide as he can. she says she felt like he was trying to pull her in. like he had some kind of groin tractor beam. needless to say he didnt get a second chance.
2. pauly wallnuts. this guy has a picture of himself on the site from the seventies. in person he has more hair coming out of his nose than most have on their heads. she said he looked exactly like pauly walnuts from the sopranos but seeing that i dont have hbo i'll take her word for it.
3. denture man. he has a number of pictures on his site....some from the seventies and some new. he describes himself as a cross between omar shariff and john stossel. this actually describes everyone i've ever seen on al-jaziera tv. i'm pretty sure this guy cant fly in the u.s. without a complete strip search. hes well educated and well spoken but he makes some fatal mistakes. he gets close too fast trying to hold hands or put his arm around her too early in the game. he also has dentures. as she says its something she cannot ages him. i guess the lingering scent of old spice and dentu-cream was too much for her though he got a second date.
4. the miner. this is the newest one. he's 6' 5". well read and , survey says, A COAL MINER. i just laughed and laughed. the jury is still out on this guy.
she has confided in me asking where have all the good men gone. well i'm married so shes out of luck here but keep least your getting some free meals. and guys, this is the time to learn about women. oh i know, you guys know everything about women. BALLS. you know nothing. if you are going to online date then there needs to be some rules like dont bring a rose or roses on the first date......its creepy. dont try to hold hands or put your arm around her immediately....thats creepy too. some of these guys just give you the impression that they have kept a momento of all their past girlfriends.........their heads and that they usually dont get dates without duct tape and chloroform. they like their women like they like their coffee....ground up and in the freezer.

btw, this broad is hot so anyone wanting to meet her can leave their e-mail in the comments and i'll pass them along.

alright kids, its saturday. dont spend it inside. go out and knock the stink off of yourselves


marriedman said...

Usually my idea of a date would be going out to the roller rink and slapping the little boys on the that weird?

shoes said...

not even a little

madison's favorite son said...

"this actually describes everyone i've ever seen on al-jaziera tv."

online dating rule #1 for women- NEVER EVER go on a date with a guy that contacts you. it is that easy.

marriedman said...

good, I wouldn't want to upset anyone. I like to keep it clean for the kids you know

Assorted Babble by Suzie said...

You mean you have AL-Jeeziera and not HBO? Say it ain't so!

Online Dating - I am like Al Gore I invented it. That is going to be another BLOGGGGGG for me all together. I started doing it when it was still free and scary...ones would say OMG aren't you afraid? Hell no, the world was open to me plus fine dining and traveling all comp!! for FREE!! Had a blast. I did screen very selectively though.

Too funny...I could comment on your latest post from now to eternity. (lol) I will be back!! Oh yeah did you see where I named you in my yesterday's post??? You never commented if so!!

Sunflower said...

I haven't dated online in a while but I will give it another try, sounds like some interesting Dudes to me. If the guy has fake teeth what does he say when they aren't in.?

Anna said...

Crap. It's been so long, I can't even REMEMBER what it was like to date. If I was in the dating pool again, I think I would become a nun. It's as close as you get to a serious relationship. What with the no sex and the baggy clothes. It's just like being married, with less of the hassle.

ccw said...

I love to hear my girlfriend's tales of on-line dating. They certainly make me glad that I am not dating. She, too, has run across the problem of men not being truthful in their "advertising". She has yet to come away from her on-line dates with a second date, but she has plenty of stories.

As always... Rachael said...

I contend that love happens when you're living your life, and you quit looking for it. I could never hook up with a guy who spends as much time as me on the computer... Our first fight will be a biggie! I love being married.

the internet can't communicate that SPARK you feel when you meet someone new and special... and there's so much room to lie your ass off... I don't lie - but if I was desperate and lonely I might!

Have your co-worker call me, I have a prison penpal who aching for a penpal who will send pictures. He has nice hand-writing... and it was just ATTEMPTED murder! Plus, he's kind of cute!

Mr. S said...

I tried online dating, I was a loser too. After hooking up with a bridesmaid, I am more than happily married.

x said...

it's all the same. winners and losers everywhere. you just filter through them a little quicker online I think so your stories just add up faster. I met my husband through an online dating service and before him I had a lot of fun meeting people. Some were kind of weird but whatever. So are people I meet everywhere.

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