i work with a woman who is really trying to make this whole online dating thing work for her. so far it hasnt. now i understand that you may have to kiss a multitude of toads before finding your prince but as toads go shes having a rough time. i did tell her that i found her story to be blogworthy and she just laughed and said go ahead. first she puts a real picture of herself on this site but most of these guys dont. let me go through some of the guys.
1. spider man. they meet at a coffee shop where he sits with his legs spread as wide as he can. she says she felt like he was trying to pull her in. like he had some kind of groin tractor beam. needless to say he didnt get a second chance.
2. pauly wallnuts. this guy has a picture of himself on the site from the seventies. in person he has more hair coming out of his nose than most have on their heads. she said he looked exactly like pauly walnuts from the sopranos but seeing that i dont have hbo i'll take her word for it.
3. denture man. he has a number of pictures on his site....some from the seventies and some new. he describes himself as a cross between omar shariff and john stossel. this actually describes everyone i've ever seen on al-jaziera tv. i'm pretty sure this guy cant fly in the u.s. without a complete strip search. hes well educated and well spoken but he makes some fatal mistakes. he gets close too fast trying to hold hands or put his arm around her too early in the game. he also has dentures. as she says its something she cannot overcome....it ages him. i guess the lingering scent of old spice and dentu-cream was too much for her though he got a second date.
4. the miner. this is the newest one. he's 6' 5". well read and , survey says, A COAL MINER. i just laughed and laughed. the jury is still out on this guy.
she has confided in me asking where have all the good men gone. well i'm married so shes out of luck here but keep dating......at least your getting some free meals. and guys, this is the time to learn about women. oh i know, you guys know everything about women. BALLS. you know nothing. if you are going to online date then there needs to be some rules like dont bring a rose or roses on the first date......its creepy. dont try to hold hands or put your arm around her immediately....thats creepy too. some of these guys just give you the impression that they have kept a momento of all their past girlfriends.........their heads and that they usually dont get dates without duct tape and chloroform. they like their women like they like their coffee....ground up and in the freezer.
btw, this broad is hot so anyone wanting to meet her can leave their e-mail in the comments and i'll pass them along.
alright kids, its saturday. dont spend it inside. go out and knock the stink off of yourselves