well the time has come to get snipped. for the betterment of the planet and the collective gene pool i'm getting fixed. so now i must go through the humiliation of this procedure. yesterday i went to the doctor for my consultation. CONSULTATION! i dont need that. i'm 44 with a ten week old. i dont need a consultation......i need fixed. for christs sake even my wife agrees but you must put up with that. he wants to make sure everything is in working order. isnt a ten week old like a signed affidavit from god concerning that? apparently not. after explaining everything to me i have to take my shorts off and get up on the table. hes pulling my junk and yanking on my testicles like michael jackson during a sleepover at the neverland ranch when i just completely lose it. i start laughing like a retard at the zoo. to the point where the doctor stops and asks me whats so funny. how do you explain the funnyness of that. sorry it just struck me as funny. he then start talking about the procedure. "i'll make a small incision here and here".....thats when i stopped him. i had to explain that ,just like my wife , when hes talking about my genitalia the word small should never be used in any manner. words like huge and gigantic are acceptable...but never the word small. we both got a laugh and then he checked my prostate. for you ladies this entails me leaning over the table while he jams his hand up my ass. he pounded my prostate like the bouncer at a turkish bath before announcingh that everything is just dandy and that i can get dressed. i did ask him during that check if he was supposed to have both hands on my shoulders....but he didnt laugh at all. yeah. is it any wonder i drink. i dont know why i like telling my embarrassing stories to you people but i do hope you get a laugh.....i did.
ok now, get out of here. go play in the sprinkler