the town of dover pennsylvania voted out almost the entire school board because they wanted intelligent design taught in science class. as you may know i find this to be a wonderful thing. they dont need to teach intelligent design in dover because the voters there already had a pretty intelligent design. whos going to speak for the ousted school board members though? whos going to be their voice? well, up steps the insane reverand pat robertson. pat has said that something bad is probably going to happen there and they shouldnt turn to god because they voted him out of their city. hes not saying bad things WILL happen but if they do.........well, they had it comin. first off, pat's tight with god, why CANT he guarantee something bad will happen. moses did. i guess he can only do it when its a slam dunk like when he said a hurricane will hit florida because they let gays into disneyland. a hurricane? hitting florida during hurricane season? way to go out on a limb pat but you know donations to that ridiculous 700 club went up then. why dont you call down a plague of snow for this winter in dover. now, as you might know, i am a reverand in the universal life church of modesto california and i know some things. first god is thrilled that intelligent design got voted down. hes kind of pissed off that he spent millions of years working on evolution....getting it just right and then people not recognizing what genius went into that. in a quote god said "any lesser god could just make a planet and put people on it, i made a platypus". god didnt seem all that vindictive though. when asked about gays in disneyworld he said "oh, for my sake, let them have a week. whos it hurting? not me". god went on to say that we shouldnt blame him for all the crazy weather lately. he said that mother natures friend came to visit and then he winked at me and said "if you get my drift". i did. i still want to thank pat robertson because without him i wouldnt have such good material for this blog. he completes me.
happy tuesday everyone. winters about to strike the burg and i need to get ready.
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4 comments:
Shoes- After today's blog I better move you up to #3 on my prayer list ahead of my son in Arizona.
theres really no need for that. being a reverend now god and i have a whole new understanding. he accepts my being an asshole and i'm cool with whole "better than everyone else" thing he has going on
Happy Tuesday!
Pat reminds me of Al Gore these days....every time he turns around he's saying something stupid. Not all Christians are the judgemental holier-than-thou freaks that this man is turning into as of late. Some of us just wish that Pat would shush for awhile....perhaps God's next plague could be a mouth full of locust.
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