all right kids sit back. i have a couple of good ones. in sacramento california police raided a cock fight and saved over 800 birds. while most people fled into the woods one man threw down four grand and was still caught. ok, maybe your all into peta and care about some cocks (i'm trying to get as many cock references into this story as i can) or you dont like the illegal gambling aspect of this or your just into sheriffs, thats not any of my business. the really funny part of this is that what tipped off the cops was the ten foot tall chicken they placed outside the door. i guess the neon "cockfighting tonight" sign was out of order. people like this should go to jail, not for the crimes stated above, but for gross stupidity. any bets that this was a bunch of illegal aliens running this show?
remember kids if your real good in school, pay good attention and dont talk back to the teacher maybe just maybe you might get laid. with that in mind mary kay latourneau got married to the kid she was screwing when he was a sixth grader. she married vili fualaau in a very private (no shit) ceremony on saturday. whats the over/ under on the length of this marriage. shes 43 and hes 22. i'm sure to the little foreigner a white american chick seem like the be all to end all but thats going to wear off soon. i guess the one big factor is that shes batshit crazy and how sane can this idiot be. he married his first piece of ass. congrats to the happy couple.
in the lovely city of new york, new york (the city so nice they named it twice) a woman weighing 407 pounds needed to get an mri. she was refered to the bronx zoo because no place had a machine for a HUMAN that large. the zoo, on the other hand, deals with larger mammals. she , as you might guess, is offended by this. she says she feels she was treated like an animal. i'm sure thats only because she eats ands smells like an animal. hey lady, heres a clue . your 407 pounds. you are not fat.......your obese. your back and legs hurt...no shit. you dont need an mri , i can diagnose this case from here. drop 300 pounds and you wont be in as much pain. just wait...shes going to sue someone. you can bank on that.
and last but by no means least a stem cell research bill will come before the house this week. it has a possibility of passing.......and it should. our president though , who is too stupid to understand the research, has sworn to veto it if it passes. i hope every religious fanatic who voted for bush gets a disease that could have been cured by this research. i actually hope the bush family comes down with something also. apparently religious fundamentalists (the folks keeping fun and mental in religion) are afraid of the imaginary guy in the sky who will punish them for making life a little better for others. on another front the south koreans have announced the creation of eleven new custom made cloned stem cell lines....from the skin cells of child and adult patients. the religious right is going to push this country back behind the rest of the world and then wonder why there is a depression. this is really the nazi party come back to life. thank you red states.
ok story time is over....now its nap time