Friday, October 07, 2005

Friday randoms.............

katie holmes is pregnant. the obvious joke is whos the father but i'll bet theres a joke she hasnt even thought of. scientology has an interesting take on the birthing process (as they do with everything). first....NO DRUGS. ask just about any woman whos had a kid if they think the drugs were a waste. ask any woman who asked for the drugs too late and couldnt get them. to add insult to injury the baby must be delivered in silence so as not to disturb the newborn. your going to hear katie scream for miles. i should have tried that with my wife. no drugs honey and do you think you can keep the noise down a little. thats what katie gets for letting a kook knock her up.

stevie wonder could get his sight back. there working on this new microchip technology and hes in negotiations to be a guinea pig for it. he says he was tested and there was a possiblity that he could be a candidate for it. someone better change his ridiculous hairstyle and clothes before he gets in front of a mirror. stevie will flip out if he sees how they've been making him look. be a shame if he has a heart attack the same day as he gets sight.

nick cage is a new father. a little boy. whats the name you ask. kal-el coppola cage. i see a kid whos going to write a tell all book when hes 18 to get even for that. better home school that poor kid. i can hear it now
kid in schoolyard: your cal?
kal-el: yeah thats me.
kis: were you named for cal ripken?
kal: no my dad named me for superman. no not clark but his name from the planet krypton.
kis: whats wrong with your parents?
kal: fuck you. wait and buy my book.
god have mercy on that child.

maybe they're just stupider in oregon. a women is suing a doctor and his medical clinic for 4 million dollars because he convinced her that sex with him would cure her back pain. i think he should counter sue. he never thought he'd find someone that stupid and then who'd have thought she would wise up. thats false advertising as far as i'm concerned and if shes blonde that furthers his case. she probably blowing the plumber right now to unclog her sink. i only hope tht she gets fixed with the 4 million. she shouldnt be adding to the gene pool. her end is shallow enough.

well kids yesterday was the 1 year anniversary of this blog. dont get all emotional. raise a beer for me this weekend


Blade90 said...

Too funny! Maybe Katie should have a C-section and pretend its an alien abuction of some sort. I take it since the Steelers are playing Monday nite, you will have Football Monday? Congrats on one year of blogging. Keep up the good work!

Patsy Darling said...

Stevie is so going to flip out he's going to break into Tom Cruise's house and steal the drugs that Katie Holmes has hidden for the birth leaving her her not high and dry then he's off to steal Nick Cage's kid because well he's probably better off with an old insane newly sighted black man.

ccw said...

Happy anniversary!

I would feel sorry for Katie Holmes if she wasn't such an idiot for getting involved with Dr. Tom to begin with.

As always... Rachael said...

Well I just happen to have a beer right here - cheers, man!

I'm one of those people who had a baby real fast and arrived to late to get the good drugs. Just when you think you're gonna die from unimaginable pain, some endorphins kick in and it doesn't hurt so bad. But no talking? I knew they were wackos but now they're fucking with my right to tell a nurse to "fuck off?" Or tell my husband to "wuit fucking touching me?" Or tell the doctor to "hurry the fuck up?"

I assumed when you said "ask a..." that you were inviting me to run my mouth. My bad.

Scientology is crazy. Certifiably. I'm against judging religions as a whole, becuase that's what religions do... but COME ON! They are QUACKS! I'd rather join the fucking Manson Family!

Mike said...

We think Ol' Katie will have an ET looking baby.