Monday, October 29, 2007

Halloween common sense.........

every year i read about people who think too much about halloween. lets remember that its for the kids. kids dont care that its a pagan holiday that the christians tried to co-opt. kids dont care about satanism. kids dont care that its demonic.


thats all it is. kids want to go and get candy. if you dont want to hand it out its either because you are 1. cheap or 2. stupid.

1. your cheap because candy is cheap and the bars are small and you should get egged if you dont.
2. stupid because you believe that an imaginary guy in the sky will get mad at you for partaking in the holiday.

lets be honest "trick or treating" isnt even fun anymore. in pittsburgh you can only go out between 6 and 8. it isnt even dark. most of the homes dont give out candy. its a veritable suckfest.

when i was younger we left as soon as my parents would let us. we were out until 10:30 or 11. we hit every house that we could. you didnt have enough steps that i wouldnt walk up. i would have climbed a mountain to get candy. we didnt have parents walking us around. we were on our own. if you didnt give out candy your windows got soaped (or if i was in a bad mood waxed) and we egged your house. dont give us an apple because that would only dent your aluminum siding when we threw them back at your house. we planned our routes so as to hit the maximum number of homes in the given time, periodically circuling back to your house to drop off your booty (6 pillowcases was tough to carry).

it seemed darker and scarier when i was younger but yet i never worried that someone would give me poison candy or kidnap me. it was some of the best times of my young life but like everything else its just not as much fun anymore.

so if your just an old codger whos too lazy to answer your door then i hope your house gets egged and if your an idiot who worries that god will be mad at you for participating..get over yourself and i hope you get egged double.

1 comment:

curmudgeon said...

You forgot reason #3: You're a fucking perv, and the law won't let you.