Thursday, March 08, 2007

One thing PC users can do that Mac users can't...

Ever notice how most Mac users are skinny? It's because of all the calories they burn because they can't shut the fuck up about how great their Macs are. What is it about Apple that makes its users unable to shut their mouths? Everywhere I go, there's another asshole with a Mac preaching about how much better Macs are than PCs. They regurgitate lines directly from Apple's marketing campaign, like "it just works." I have the following rebuttals to this argument:
1. If everything on a Mac just works, then why does a website called "Mac fix it" exist, assholes? Here are a few choice topics on
-Login window stuck!-lower caSe "S" key not working!!-Menu bar keeps flashing-I can't drag and drop!
Waaaah, boo hoo! I can't drag and drop! Dumbass. Looks like your Macs aren't perfect after all, which leads me to my second point:
2. Fuck you.
I don't know why Mac users get so defensive when you call them idiots. I mean, Apple is a company that has built its entire user base around the fact that its users can't do simple things like turn their computers on. Hell, most Mac users can't even talk without using their hands, which ranks their intelligence somewhere between a simian and hog shit:

Stupid user base aside, I will never own a Mac. It's not so much that I'm a PC loyalist. I'm not. It's that I'm not stylish enough to own one. Most iPod commercials feature guys with long hair, chicks roller skating, and guys wearing fedoras. I have dandruff, and I buy most of my jeans from a grocery store. I feel like in order to have a Mac, I need to be:
An artist.
In a band.
Unemployed (see above).
After the recent Apple conference, Mac fans were elated. One person was quoted as saying "I've had a Macintosh now for a total of 35 days, and I'm really excited to be part of the Mac community." Part of the Mac community? It's a computer, not a social movement, asshole! I feel like Apple is not just selling computers, they're selling a way of life, and I'm not ready to be that heavily invested in a product.

i took this from the site maddox is a funny guy. dont go here with a thin skin. i guarantee there is something there to offend everyone. it is a good read. i posted this because i do find those commercials annoying. congrats mac users. you cam is built right in. now you can show your naked body to everyone.....easily. and i must say they sure do come in some pretty colors. that being said the world runs on pc's.

this is shoes, over and out.


ccw said...

I love Macs. I do not own one but would love to replace my current laptop with a Macbook.

Now, I am beginning to wonder if I am cool enough for one. I love your list and I am none of those things. Does mentally ill make me cool enough??

shoes said...

your reading my blog.......mental illness was just assumed. you may be cool enough, i know i am not. if you mentally ill enough to sit in front of it naked then you are qualified

vjack said...

Funny stuff. I used to own Macs but found them too limiting when I had to work in a PC-only environment. Now I'm thinking that my next laptop just might be a Mac. Opinions on Vista sound pretty negative, so it might be time for a change. Hopefully, I won't get religious about it.

Anonymous said...

I used to hate the mac. But then I became so enraged by the malfunctioning windows environment... riddled with viruses, spyware, and worms... that I switched to a mac. I spent more time trying to get the computer to work correctly than actually use it. All of your anger and hate is really focused at the Apple Marketing division. They are amazing because they sell essentially the same hardware that everyone else is selling... but they do it in a way that makes people think or feel the same way that you describe in your blog. Since I've changed to my mac I've spent more time using it than trying to configure it. You can love your pc all you want... but while you are running windows and are susceptible to every attack under the sun... my *nix based machine will still work...