Wednesday, September 06, 2006

Imagine me doing this job.......

One of the world's most famous scientists is looking for an assistant.
Stephen Hawking, Professor of Mathematics at Cambridge University, wants a graduate student to help him prepare lectures and assist with scientific papers.
The university is offering a salary of up to £23,457 to the right candidate, who would be based in the Department of Applied Mathematics and Theoretical Physics.
Professor Hawking, 64, was diagnosed with the crippling muscle-wasting condition motor neurone disease at the age of 22.
He is wheelchair-bound and speaks with the aid of a computer and synthesiser.
One of the job requirements is being responsible for "maintaining and improving" this computer system and other pieces of support equipment.
The job advertisement says: "You would help him to prepare and deliver seminars and public lectures and assist with scientific papers.
"You would also accompany Professor Hawking on his many travels and assist other members of the group.
"Flexibility, stamina and a confident and caring personality, together with a valid driving licence, are essential for this demanding job."
Professor Hawking, a best-selling author, mathematician, cosmologist and leading theoretical physicist - who has twice guest-starred in TV comedy The Simpsons - was diagnosed with motor neurone disease in the 1960s.
He obtained a first class honours degree in physics at University College, Oxford, and then went on to Cambridge to conduct research in cosmology.
He became famous with the publication of his book A Brief History Of Time in the late 1980s.

imagine , if you will, what the help wanted ad for this job must read like.

wanted: grad student to assist world famous scientist and author with preparing lectures and and assist with scientific papers. this is the opportunity of a lifetime to work with one of the greatest minds in history. job pays L23,457 to the lucky qualified candidate. flexibility, stamina and a confident and caring personality together with a valid drivers license are essential for this demanding job. also the ability to change a tire on short notice.

i'd apply but this guy couldnt poosibly fire me fast enough. i'd be talking through his voice box device. i'd put him to bed and use his chair. i'd fill his computer with bad internet porn. in short i'd be his worst nightmare. ok, we would be each others worst nightmare. this job though must be one of the greatest jobs ever for someone in that field. imagine talking to him all day. sucking up all the ideas that must come rattling out of his head.

enjoy your wednesday everyone

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