i loike the history channel. its one of the few tv channels that you can actually learn something by watching. one of the things i like is watching old powers fall. you have to wonder what happened to england and france. they once ruled most of the world but now........eh, not so much. this last weekend pointed out alot about those countries that i see as having been directly related to their fall.
first is the british open. oh i dont care that tiger went right through them what gets me is it was played off a golf course that looks worse than my back yard. sure i have been lax in picking up the dog shit and i only mow it once a week but it still looks better than the course at the ancient and wonderful (or whatever they call it) club at liverpool. that match looked like someone held a golf outing at an airport and they were playing off of the tarmac. why dont we hold the next tournament in a mall parking lot. now i know that all courses dont look like lush tropical lawns like american courses but that was pathetic. the worst part is that the course is right along the irish sea. its called irrigation....look into it. people have been irigating since before christ. how do you expect to be a world power when you cant even bring water fifty feet to a golf course. needless to say your not a world power. sure you get to go to the meetings with the other world powers but thats only because your friends with the usa. its like being friends with the star football player in high school......sure you get to tag along to all the great parties but that doesnt mean you'll be sleeping with a cheerleader tonight.
next is france. they hold the tour de france. before you start thinking thats a really special name that must be important remember.......its a bicycle race. its like nascar.....only slower. they were so proud that for years americans never did well in it. we didnt win it for like the first seventy five years but lately...well, we own them. americans have won eleven of the last twenty one and the last eight in a row. thats not the worst part. the american who won it this year needs a hip replacement. that needs to be repeated........a hip replacement. how can a guy who needs a hip replacement win the most prestigious bike race in the world. i'm going to enter my mother in law next year, she needs a hip replacement too. i wonder where te guy in the wheelchair or the guy in the walker finished. oh well needless to say frnace isnt a world power either. they can rant and rave on the world stage and withhold snails from us but in reality.....they really dont count. i did find their treelined streets to quaint but i understand those trees were planted mostly so the nazis could march in the shade. thanks to us you frogs arent speaking german right now.
well there it is kids. all of my observations from the weekend. another proud moment in my families history. enjoy your tuesday.