The stars are out tonight..............

madonna has convinced brittney spears to give $32k to a kabbalah center for children so that her unborn child will be accepted into the faith. the funny part of this is that britt thinks madonna is a great role model and doesnt question anything she asks of her. lets put this into perspective. your friend asks you to donate $32k to your church so that your kid will be accepted........what do you do? follow his/her advice? tell them to pound off? beat the livin bejesus out of them? britt ought to be hanging onto her money. her career is really over and she is going to be a single mom soon (as soon as kev takes off again). good luck to your child britt...it really has no chance of growing up normal.

kelsey grammer speaks to the dead including a 2000 year old ghost named alex who teaches him about good and evil. i think kelsey has finally gone off the deep end. he says hes been talking to many entities lately, some that hes known in the past. in kelsey's defense his father was murdered by a gunman when he was 13, his sister was robbed , raped and stabbed when he was 18 and his two half brothers wer eaten by sharks when he was 23. where the fuck did he grow up. his whole family is killed in bizarre ways, i mean, who ever gets eaten by sharks and he had TWO half brothers that were eaten. i now understand why he had the drinking and drug problems . well at least when he robbed the cradle he got a hot wife.

jessica lynch, the soldier who was rescued from an iraqi hospital, has now come forward and said she was used by the pentagon to show everything was going fine with the war. well i guess jessica got everything she needs, a tv movie about her life, free college education and a book deal. i dont agree with the war but shes a rat. if you want to be credible then you should have said this BEFORE you got all the free stuff not after everything has run its course. maybe she just cant stand the thought of being out of the headlines, fame is an evil mistress. but to show that there really is karma in the universe jessica lives in west virginia.

in a follow up to a story from yesterday.....golden palace got the jesus pierogi for $1775.

enjoy your tuesday everyone.

Jesus is back and he brought friends.......

jesus has continied his "damnation tour of the red states" by showing up in a perogi in point place , michigan. donna lee, the proud owner of this polish pastry, said she was just flipping some over when she noticed the face of jesus. so what do you do when you have the face of the savior on a pastry? do you eat it? set up a shrine? no. you put it on ebay. when i had read this the auction had reached $1050. does anyone see that jesus is becoming just like ufo's. he only shows up to retarded hicks in these little towns. i am actually more concerned for the idiots who would shell out cash for these pieces of shit.

the u.s. postal service created a stamp earlier this year with a picture of president bush to honor his acheivements while in office. however, it was found that the stamp was not sticking to envelopes. a commission to determine the reason for the defect was formed. after thorough testing the commission published the following findings.
1. the stamp was found to be in working order
2. there was nothing wrong with the adhesive
3. people were just spitting on the wrong side

along that same line, while our president is taking a FIVE week vacation gas prices in my area went up over twenty cents last week alone. if he wont answer questions for the mothers of the soldiers that have died then maybe he can answer these. why does the price of gas go up immediately as soon as they announce that the price of a barrel went up but never goes down when the price of a barrel drops? when does he think that these rising prices will affect the economy? how much money is he and his family making off of the price gouging by the oil companies? will we ever be able to recover , as a country , from the damage that was done by this administration? will the democrats actually be any different? pick any of these and try to see if your head doesnt explode.

enjoy your monday, this may be a long week

Troubles on my blog...........

as anyone who has been on this site in the last two days knows i have been bothered by an asshole named da bona. this ass embodies everything you hate about FUNdaMENTALists. they want to spout whatever they want at you but dont like what you have to say back. i really dislike bullies but because he doesnt have the balls to deal with me he has gone after people i link to. if you happened to get a message that seemed from me that stated "i still think your a religious cunt" you have my apologies. i didnt send it...da bona did but you shouldnt be pulled into my arguement. he doesnt see any difference between me and people i link to. typical of bullies that just go after everyone. sorry about the inconvenience. and remember it could always be worse....you could be da bona.

Things that make a friday special......

its a rare two post friday

it starts with bruce taylor and it starts in oklahoma. maria and carlos isordia are a nice married couple, minding their own business, living their lives in peace. one night maria notices that some of her bras and panties are missing. the next night more were missing. five nights this went on before she told her husband. carlos (who must have watched alot of cartoons as a child) set up a trap for the suspected panty raider using only a coffee cup, string and a bra (couldnt he have just dropped an anvil on his head). well the trap worked and bruce was caught. he must of resisted because carlos gave him a good old fashoined beat down with a leg from a babies crib. bruce was arresated and is facing jail time. when police searched his residence they found 55 pounds of underwear. enjoy prison bruce....you'll make a fine bitch for someone.

courtney love has crawled back out of the sewer and into our lives once more. seems the judge who paroled her wants to see her again (hence the name court-ney). one of the parameters of her parole was that she had to remain sober. lets see...she passed out last month at a function, she looked entirely wasted at the pam anderson roast....etc. yeah, she violated parole now what are you going to do about it. i think her daughter turned her in. theres a kid begging to be put in a foster home. anythings better than having mom go to one more parent/teacher night.

on a more sobering note ap is reporting that the national guard and reserve suffered more combat deaths in the first ten days of august (32) than in any full month of the entire war. think about that......in 10 days this has happened. this isnt just a bad stretch military deaths have been rising since the beginning of the year. now i know that i will get painted with an unpatriotic brush but i'm just repoting the news (if i blasted hillary clinton those same people would link to this post and refer to me as a good american). this is after bush said "mission accomplished". after cheney and rumsfeld have said things are going just fine. after our military leaders tell us that cracking down on insurgents LAST MONTH would slow down their activities. can anyone blame americans for being upset. we have had so much smoke blown up our asses that we just want honest answers. i support the mother that is camped outside bush's home. i hope she gets through to him. on wednesday the pentagon announced that as of july 31st recruiting for the national guard is down 23%, the army reserves are down 20% and the marine reserves are right at their goal. is it any wonder in this day of information that young men and women who can think dont want to risk their lives in a war that cannot be won, lead by men who never expirenced war except from behind a desk with equipment that is faulty. i see a draft coming. thank god my son is registered as a jb4 (he'll be the fourth person into iraq after jenna bush).

its friday. lets just make it through and then party

So, how bad is your marriage..........

Q: why do divorces cost so much
A: because they are worth it

ok not all marriages are horrible but for some people they are unbearable. take teddy claire akin (why do all redneck losers have three names), 28, of ocala florida. seems teddy was just fed up with marriage...he'd had enough. now teddy probably wasnt wealthy and being a frugal chap decided that there must be another way. teddy, being an over the road truck driver had alot of time to think about this and on one long trip the light in his tiny little brain came on. teddy got home and explained to his wife that he had killed a hitchhiker on this trip. teddy told his wife that he had picked up a hitchhiker who wanted a ride to tampa. after arguing over how far akin would drive him akin hit the hitchhiker in the neck, causing him to gasp and make a gurgling sound. akin said he dumped the body in a forest near a gun range and kept the mans wallet, which contained the license of one denis legrande allen of utah. how terrible for all the parties involved......not really. you see, teddy was making it all up in the hopes that his wife would just leave him and not turn him in. teddy was arrested on tuesday and charged with making a false report and petty theft. denis legrande allen is alive and well.

ok , so what have we learned here.
1. dont make up a story of murder to get out of your marriage. its only going to you arrested and made a fool of in the national press.
2. just pay for the divorce. i know it costs money but you made this pact with the devil in the first place.
3. didnt o.j. or robert blake teach you anything.

get on with your thursday and be glad your not teddy

Of cartoons, videos and bad luck........

in san francisco the planned parenthood chapter has a cartoon that shows a pro-choice superhero killing abstinence supporters and abortion clinic protesters. now some of you (who have a sense of humor similar to mine) might find this funny or at the very worst not very well thought out but this just isnt right. any of you who have read this blog before can guess that i am extremely pro choice but these folks stepped over the line. there would be people all up in arms over this if it were the othter way around....a pro-abortion superhero killing pro-choice people. some psycho is going to see that and say to himself "i can be a superhero. i'll just kill some protesters".the planned parenthood people have just got to use their heads. sometimes you just have to take the high road. that being said, i'd love to see the cartoon. it sounds funny.

a south korean man died after playing video games for around 50 hours straight. well no shit. frankly after that he should have asked people to kill him. this guy had quit his job so that he could spend more time playing games. this guy really didnt need to be in the gene pool anyways. this goes back to my theory of how to control the mid east. our soldiers should just pack up and leave iraq, apologizing all the way and as a gift to say we are sorry we should leave them coca cola, twinkies, playboxes and computers. in one generation their kids would be just as fat and lazy as ours. you think a young iraqi boy would blow himself up instead of sitting around watching internet porn. "blow myself up. let me get back to you right after this movie of two chicks doing a goat".

speaking of bad luck christopher reeve's widow dana has been diagnosed with lung cancer. LUNG CANCER! hasnt this chick been through enough. holy shit. is this the unluckiest family ever. i wish her well, this chick has been through enough.

it wednesday...blah blah blah blah blah. have a good one

Peta stands for what again..............

"ETHICAL" DEFINED: After more than 100 dead dogs were dumped in a trash
dumpster over four weeks, police in Ahoskie, N.C., kept an eye on the
trash receptacle behind a supermarket. Sure enough, a van drove up and
officers watched the occupants throw in heavy plastic bags. They
detained the two people in the van and found 18 dead dogs in plastic
bags in the dumpster, including puppies; 13 more dead dogs were still
in the van. Police say the van is registered to the headquarters of
People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, and the two occupants,
Andrew B. Cook, 24, and Adria Joy Hinkle, 27, identified themselves as
PETA employees. An autopsy performed on one of the dogs found it was
healthy before it was killed. Police say PETA has been picking up the
animals -- alive -- from North Carolina animal shelters, promising to
find them good homes. Cook and Hinkle have been charged with 62 felony
counts of animal cruelty. In response to the arrests PETA President
Ingrid Newkirk said it's against the group's policy for employees to
dump animals in the trash, but "that for some animals in North
Carolina, there is no kinder option than euthanasia."

way to go peta. look , maybe you people should just stick to throwing blood on old jewish women wearing furs in new york city. that seems to be your forte'. did they really think nobody would notice all those dead dogs in one dumpster. if nothing at least the peta people have learned to use different dumpsters to unload the animals they have so lovingly killed. this might be the most ridiculous of all the groups running around right now. they make the scientologists look semi normal. eat what you want, wear what you want......fuck peta. i did see a t-shirt that said "i eat animals....but only the gay ones". i thought that was genius.






A US woman who ended up with three police cars outside her home claims she was teaching her dog to dial 911. Sylvia D’Antonio, 46, of Lake Parsippany, New Jersey, was charged with disorderly conduct for making three late night 911 calls. But she insists the calls were made by Slayer, her German shephard, reports the Asbury Park Press. A police dispatcher was alarmed because when the calls were picked up “the only communication was someone breathing”.

The calls were traced and three squad cars raced to D’Antonio’s home where they found there was no emergency. D’Antonio claimed she told Slayer how to dial 911 in an emergency and the dog got the number right. “She knocks it off the hook and then she steps on it,” she said.

who in their right mind is going to teach their dog to dial 911. have you ever dialed 911. those idiots ask about a thousand questions. teach your dog something useful like cleaning up his own crap in your yard, weeding or driving. give him a skill that will help him once your gone. look if your dog has to dial 911....your dead. hes going straight to the pound (where i hope the peta people dont take pity on him)he needs a skill. nice name for her dog too....slayer. that dog was probably trying to order a pizza and just misdialed.



the realization that there are some very stupid people in the world should hit you .........now. enjoy your tuesday

Rats and other items......

jose conseco is a rat. make no mistake. he went into locker rooms and then turned on the guys he shared the room with and told secrets. on the other hand we are finding that at least he's honest. someone said that they thought he was too stupid to lie for that many pages and so far its held true. jason giambi has admitted using steroids, after listening to mark mcguire speak in front od congress i dont think theres any doubt he did steroids and now with raphael palmiero getting caught...well.....baseball just didnt need that. what are we learning drom all of this.
1. the records set right now in baseball are all drug tainted. mcguire, bonds, etc...are all juicing and its skewing the baseball records.
2. dont shake your finger in front of congress....it'll come back to haunt you
3. steroids, hgh...whatever, its the heroin of baseball players. they would rather risk getting caught and ruining their names than just be average players. sorten your life, risk shaming your family...its ok, as long as i am not average.
4. palmiero was stinking it up early in the season and then started to hit all of a sudden. why? steroids. giambi was doing so bad they were going to send him down to the minors then he hit 16 homeruns in something like 78 at bats in july....how? steroids.
5. regardless of balco, steroids or hgh.......barry bonds is was, is still and always will be an ignorant prick.
should these men be allowed into the hall of fame? i dont know. thats left for smarter people than myself. i could argue that from both sides. will we ever be able to get drugs out of baseball? no! were we better off not knowing what our heroes were doing? well thats up to te individual. does the stink of this scandal infect all the players? yes.

the space shuttle landing has been pushed back another day. i'll just be glad when these people are on the ground. this just keeps getting worse and worse. this is one nasa program that should be scrapped until they get it all together. nasa is in retrograde now. they seem to be going backwards. we were able to put men on the moon and now we cant launch a rocket and bring it back home.

the legislative body of the evangelical lutheran church in america are getting together and whats the big topic. gays in the church. i still dont see what the big deal is. didnt the bible say that god created everyone in his own image? arent we supposed to do unto others and we would have done to ourselves? and the question that suprises me most.....dont churches need the cash? who has more disposable income than a gay couple. dinks. dual income...no kids. hell, i cant believe the catholics havent jumped on them for that reason alone. of corse the catholic church only wants gays if they stay in the closet....and become priests. in reality the gays are better off without organized religion.

isnt monday just a great day. have fun everyone

Next blog >>........

ever hit that button in the top right corner? sure you have. ever got a blog that was good on the first try? never. when you go looking at blogs you realize how many shitty ones there are. yesterday i hit that button for twenty minutes and didnt find one half way good blog BUT i did realize that i should get a goddamn pulitzer prize for my blog.
1. there are no good blogs coming from the far east. this includesa guam, korea , vietnam.....all of them. nothing interesting must ever happen there. same goes with spain and south america but they have a whole different problem
2. the ones that look promising are all written in gibberish. put something on your site so i can convert your gibberish to english (gods language).
3. dont take the next blog button off of your site. that is so annoying. how can i get off of your shity site if there is no next blog key.
4. dont have a site that requires that i be running active x. it stops my computer.
5. dont put a button on your site that asks people to vote for you on some half asses ratings site. its just embarrassing for you. no one gives a shit if your number 1 or number 300. mike this one really addresses you.
6. whats up with all your ads. is there one more advertisment you can fit on your sidebar. is there anything you wont advertise.

our president is starting a 5 week vacation. yeah, you read it right A 5 WEEK VACATION. since hes been in office (roughly 4 1/2 years) hes taken 320 vacation days. thats almost one quarter of his time in office. his 5 week vacation is the longest that any president has ever taken. i guess he deserves it and its not like things are going on right now. i mean with a war going bad and over 20 marines killed this week, oil prices going out of control whats he need to be hanging around the white house for. you dont hear the right wing talking about that now do you.

friday, enjoy your day.....and you night even more

Oil and republicans shouldnt mix......

congress just passed an energy bill. what does this energy bill do? is it intended to push companies to find alternative energy sources, is it intended to help with the rising price of oil, will it help to explain what our energy policy is in conjunction with our mid-east policy..........survey says..........none of the above. what it does is give the oil companies 500 million for drilling in the gulf of mexico AND 2.7 BILLION in tax breaks. let me repeat that....2.7 BILLION IN TAX BREAKS FOR THE OIL COMPANIES. that might lead you to believe that the oil companies have fallen on hard times even though a company like, well i hate to name names but lets just say it rhymes with exxon, made 7.6 BILLION IN PURE PROFIT LAST QUARTER. by last quarter i mean a three month period. well i guess you cant expect much more than that when the first family is beholden to the oil companies and besides that money really isnt needed for anything like actually properly armoring vehicles for our soldiers or creating meaningful jobs in this country. funny how the republicans paint everyone who doesnt agree with this war as unpatriotic but wont properly protect our fighting men and women while giving billions to oil companies. also isnt it peculiar that democrats are called "tax and spend" when the republicans spend just as much but then cut taxes. now i know the average stupid american loves the tax breaks but can you spell deficit. at least we had a budget surplus when the democrats were in office. any bsic business course flunky can understand that if you spend more and cut your income (taxes) your company wont be in business long.

heres some interesting stats, as of the end of july 2005, technorati was tracking 14.2 million weblogs and over 1.3 billion links. this is just about double the number they were tracking only 5 months ago. the blogosphere is doubling about every 5 months. a new blog is created about every second, there are over 80 thousand created daily. about 55% of all blogs are active, and that has remained a consistent statistic for at least a year. about 13% of all blogs are updated at least weekly. i hope mine stands out for all of you.

well it thursday.....hope your day goes well

Tie a yellow ribbon............

ok, so i'm driving home yesterday (actually paying attention this time) and i notice everyone has a ribbon magnet on their car. some more than one. some WAY more than one. for awhile everyone was running around with the yellow ones (i think thats lance armstrongs group) and thats when i quit paying attention to them. now there are pink (breast cancer) black and gold (steelers) red and black (firemen)etc......where does this end. one car yesterday had seven. thats right....SEVEN. ok people you can stop putting those on the car. as a matter of fact you can start taking some of them off your car. i did see one on the internet that said "i support whatevers trendy". thats the one for me. oh, and the same goes for the wrist bands. those are becoming ridiculous too, though if you match the colors to the ribbons on your car then that might be ok.
so maybe this is an indictment of those ribbons but maybe its an indictment of my driving. what have i been looking at for these last months on the drive home. i think i will look tonight and try to figure that out. maybe this is all bullshit but just maybe you should be glad you arent driving the same roads as me.

its hump day....get humpin

Are the saudis really our friends.....

king fahd died the other day. i know, you really dont give a crap but hear me out. this king and his country have been held up to the american people as our only true friends in the mid east. i guess i dont see that. these people really dont like us at all. most of the 9-11 cowards were from saudi arabia. a couple from the bombings in london were saudis. this king fahd might have been our friend but his country isnt. dont get big heads because they let us set up bases there for the gulf war remember hussein was going to run right through them next. we saved their necks. his half brother became king now and is supposed to be a reformer is 81 years old but is expected to get opposition from others in his family who are hard line muslims. remember this is still a country where you can be stoned or beheaded. sure they have all that oil money but its like the beverly hillbillies. all they are is a rich third world country. so lets just say for the sake of peace that they are our friends BUT dont turn your back on them.

when did it become ok to ask for donations on your blog. more and more i see blogs with a small spot on the sidebar asking for some cash. please i beg all of you....dont give in to this cyber panhandling. thats all it is. if your walking down the street and you stop because some guy is playing his sax really shitty....well...its panhandling. sure hes not just begging , hes playing an instrument, same goes for blogs. why would you pay someone just to read their retarded thoughts. hell, you can read my retarded thoughts for free. you didnt earn my money with the ten minutes of thought you put into your blog. if you really feel you should be gatting some money then start a pay site. that will seperate your true friends from the others.

just my thoughts....now get on with your tuesday

Monday, what a horrible way to start a week.......

looks like senate majority leader bill frist has jumped ship from the presidents plans. good for him, though, i still dont trust him. our president who either doesnt have the backbone to stand up to the religious right or is so stupid he believes the religious right (either thing is unacceptable) doesnt want stem cell research. i'm sure his mind cant comprehend the concept of it but bill frist is now for it. republicans are blasting him from all sides so i hope he stands his ground. they say he wants to run for president in "08". i dont understand how going against his party will help him but i'm glad he did it. i'm glad that he chose common sense over religious fairy tales. could this be showing that bushs numbers arent strong enough to carry another republican to the white house. lets be honest , he wouldnt be there in the first place if he didnt steal an election in 2000. i'm hopeful that we will get a man in the white house that wont cave in to the religious right everytime they start to cry. dont be suprised if he isnt running , during the primaries against another bush. isnt it a shame in this country that the best we have is the boys from that overly inbred family.....THE BUSH'S.

football season is back and the first thing that pisses me off is holdouts. hey, that contract was fine when you signed it. honor your contract. you signed your name , isnt your name worth something. apparently not. grow up players. honor your obligations. if you dont like how things are done then do something about it the right way. i actually blame the agents for all of this. most agents are lawyers...i think that says it all. how much better would the world be without lawyers. i love ya heinz ward but your doing the wrong thing.

lets just get to the weekend. dont make any sudden moves

Fridays lecture series.........

yesterday was my 100th post

debra lefave, if you dont remember, is the teacher in florida that had sex numerous times with a 14 year old student. if you remember (and i do) this chick is way hot. i dont remember any teacher that i had looking like this woman. well shes going to trial. she was seen by two psychiatrists in florida and the states shrink says shes not insane and the defenses shrink says she is insane. she is going on trial on four felony counts of lewd and lascivious battery and one count of lewd and lascivious exhibition. each carries a maximum 15 year prison term. her lawyer turned down a plea bargain because they wanted her to do too much time and shes too pretty. thats right too pretty. her lawyer said "to place an attractive young woman in that kind of hell hole is like putting a piece of raw meat in with the lions. i'm not sure she would survive". thats a lot of balls. my thoughts go to the poor 14 year old student. did i say poor student? i meant the luckiest little bastard to come down the pike. i wish a hot teacher would have wanted to have sex with my ugly, scrawny little ass when i was 14. alas it was not to be. just me, a playboy and my right hand working at a feverish pace. i wouldnt have told anyone about her. kept my mouth shut and got laid. if she wants fruit from the forbidden tree then check out these apples.

luckily for pittsburgh we have the bassmasters tournament here this weekend....fucking up traffic. i cant think of anything at tis moment i would care to see less. i'd rather fish than watch guys fish and i dont like fishing. the only thing more boring than watching those guys fish is listening to it on the radio. i guess it brings alot of money into the city and thats good. oh well, maybe it will keep the putz's away from the things i want to do this weekend.

its friday. i think getting a case of beer at work will be a good idea.

He's back....

sorry i didnt post yesterday. i needed a mental health day and i really didnt have anything that interesting to say (yet that doesnt stop me any other day). i called off of work, threw everyone out of the house for the day and slept. it was almost perfect....and then everyone came home.

ok, am i just being an old timer or is pumping money into nasa a losing proposition anymore. i think nasa can just be scrapped until everyone has a job , healthcare and a full belly. this space shuttle has been nothing but a loser since its start. the space station is in disrepair. either get it right or just admit that we havent moved very far since the moon shots in the late 60's and early 70's. we are still using the same propulsion system we used 40 years ago. there are actually some people who actually make a very good arguement against us ever putting a man on the moon. i love conspriacy theories.

echinacea is getting nailed in a government sponsored clinical tests. the man who ran the clinical testing was , at one time, a paid consultant to the pharmacuetical industry. the pharmacuetical companies dont want you buying medications over the counter so of course they put down herbal remedies. the government (and our legislators) get a ton of cash from the pharmacuetical companies so it is their best interest to put down herbal remedies too. i guess what i'm trying to ttell you is dont believe what the media tells you. take things that have worked for you in the past. i really love conspiracy theories.

if anyone from pennsylvania needed another reason to get the hell out of this state heres one more. our legislators just voted themselves another raise. we now have the highest paid government in the country. sure california pays each politician more BUT they have 70 compared to pa having 203. thats right their politicians serve seven time the constituents that pa's politcians do. i wouldnt mind if this state was run well but its not. wouldnt all of us like to vote ourselves a raise. hell, i'd vote daily. the worst part is there isnt much you can do. people here dont care. the same old guys will get more money and fleece us a little more each day.

thursday everyone....one more day till the weekend.

Lets call this much better tuesday......

hey, its a much better day today. im felt so crappy yesterday and then i took a dump. who'd have guess being all backed up would do that to you. another reason why i shouldnt do pain meds.

TRAVERSE CITY, Mich. A Traverse City man has been charged with secretly taking pictures of women showering at a state park.
Mark Thomas Sanchez was arraigned on two counts of capturing images of an unclothed person -- a five-year felony.
Sanchez was arrested after someone reported a man taking pictures of women in a shower. Deputies found Sanchez with a digital camera that contained photos and videos of women from 14 to 52 years old.
Sanchez also was charged with carrying a concealed weapon. Deputies say he had a double-edged knife.
Court records show Sanchez has a prior conviction for fourth-degree criminal sexual conduct.

ST. PAUL, Minn. -- A sex offender from Texas suffocated a St. Paul man, then raped the victim's girlfriend before fleeing, prosecutors alleged Tuesday.
The girlfriend told investigators a man she knew only as "Face" tied them both up and threw her in a bathroom in the apartment she shared with her boyfriend on Saturday, according to a criminal complaint filed in Ramsey County District Court,
She told police she could hear muffled pleas from her boyfriend, Rodney Foster, 50 of St. Paul, before he went silent.
The complaint said she told police "Face," whom she identified through a photo lineup as Courtney B. Clark, 32, then raped her.
She also said she saw Foster's feet sticking out of a laundry bag and that Clark told her he had suffocated him. She alleged that after Clark raped her, he tried to suffocate her by putting a plastic bag over her head. She managed to rip the bag.
The woman said Clark left her tied up and she heard him moving Foster's body. Moments later, she said she heard what she thought was Foster's SUV start up and its tires squeal. But she said Clark returned and tried to walk her outside to the vehicle. The complaint said other residents started shouting at Clark, and she broke free and ran back inside before Clark drove away. The SUV was found abandoned Sunday in Minneapolis.
Prosecutors charged Clark with first-degree criminal sexual conduct and kidnapping. Investigators were still searching Tuesday for Foster's body and Clark.
The girlfriend said she believed Clark had been smoking crack-laced cigarettes and snorting heroin, according to the complaint.
Clark was registered as a sex offender living in Houston, according to the Texas Department of Public Safety. He had pleaded guilty to forcing a woman to perform a sex act in 1993 in Minneapolis and was sentenced to four years and seven months in prison.

these are just two stories i came across surfing around. now can anyone tell me what these two stories have in common. cmon. thats right both men had already been arrested for sex crimes. now some city in jersey is trying to pass a law that sex offenders in their city cant live within 2000 feet of a school, church or , get this, a bus stop. this in effect does NOT allow sex offenders to reside in their community. i like this. sorry, i dont agree with dicrimination but i'm tired of all these freaks running around. frankly , cant we ship all the sex offenders to france. thats a wonderful solution. they took roman polanski in there. i would be all for pittsburgh voting in the same law as that jersey town. go let the sex offenders live somewhere else.

tuesdays here.......we must get something done today

Dressing yourself and other gambles......

you dont realize how much you use your shoulders. sometimes i need to get help out of bed...or off of the couch. thats humbling but near as humbling as having to have help getting dressed. i thought i would do it myself but after breaking out in a horrible sweat and hurting my shoulder i asked my wife. she smiled and said "no problem" but i could tell with that smile she was laughing at me inside. at least i could wipe my own ass. the pain pills are a strong narcotic (or so they said) and i took two before going to bed......bad move. these didnt give you the cool halucinations that they show on tv, you know the ones, bright colors, talking flowers, everyone happy. no, these were the kind where they are in black and white (mostly black) with devil chasing you while riding a dragon and trying to steal your soul. i'll cut that back to one tonight for sure. so its one more humiliating day in a life full of them....big deal. i'll get over it.

its monday......lets have some fun

Drugs play with my mind.......

its saturday and i'm home. surgery went fine. they caught the problem before it tore and all the doctor had to was shave the bone that was impinging on my rotor cuff. sounds simple......hurts like hell. i dont do drugs well thouigh i envy people that do. the pain pills just make me vomit as did alot of the prescription drugs i took in high school. hard liquor has that same effect sometimes. i do love screwing with the nurses though. here is an excerpt from an actual conversation.
nurse...."have you ever taken percocets before"
shoes...."only the ones i didnt sell to the schoolkids"
nurse...."oh, oh my"
shoes...."hey, i didnt sell them to the public school kids. i only sold to the
private school kids. i'm no asshole"
the nurses dont have the same sense of humor that i do. doctors either for that matter. heres another conversation
nurse...."just push this button and you get a dose of morphine. have you ever used
one of these before"
shoes...."use one! i was hoping to win the home version of this game"
no stitches anymore...staples. thank god he didnt have a nail gun. well at least i'm home now and things can get as close to normal as they can be. i'm going to go lay down now. i've been up sinse 4am. thats when the woke me after i finally got to sleep to see how i was doing. i guess my tears werent as good a clue as i thought they would be.

thanks for all your good wishes

Fridays child.......

well i go under the knife at 2:15pm so until then i can give some of my thoughts away.

if you cared to look my picture is now on my blog. i was waiting for the perfect picture to come around. you know ...THAT PICTURE. the one where you ass crack isnt showing or your not cross dressing or having sex with an underage vietnamese girl. well yesterday it happened. as i explained yesterday i work in a rather unsavory part of town. the fact that prostitutes walk up and down the sidewalk in front of the business and i can buy crack from my office window would be an indicator of that. ok, so the picture is small and even when you go into the profile and blow it up its hard to see but i'm standing in front of a wall in a vacant, overgrown lot where one of the fine citizens spray painted the wall to say "crackhead park". that isnt a dumpster in front its the worlds largest outdoor grill. ten minutes before that picture was taken i watched a woman squat down and take a squirt behind the dumpster..........i mean the grill. i was almost overcome by the stench of urine while being photographed so dont tell me we supermodels dont have it rough. i had the picture taken in the afternoon when it was about 90 degrees so there were no whores or crackheadds around to get in the picture with me. i would have given them a couple bucks for their time. knowing my boss we just found the spot for next years company picnic.

i realize that this wonderful country has a seperation of church and state and that we are all gods children and being created in his image are all equal......except those f'in catholics. it seems that a christian adoption agency in mississippi (which by the way gets part of its funds from from the sale of certain license plates)is turning away catholic couples. bethany christian services has 75 ofices in 30 states. a national spokesman said the offices are independently incorporated and are affiliated with various christian denominations. the national president of the agency said they dont flatly bar catholics BUT they do let state branches set their own policy. anyone care to argue that organized religion isnt divisive. anyone care to argue that this is discrimination and seeing that they get state funds they should just be shut down. any think that god will embrace these assholes when its all done. the mississippi branch said that the catholic religion conflicts with the adoption agencies statement of faith. i wonder how that statement is worded...

RIGHT FAITH....HERES YOUR KID
WRONG FAITH....NO KID

happy friday everyone. i may post tommorrow if i feel up to it

The thursday review

i work in a predominately black area of pittsburgh that is known as the hill district (or if you have a business here and dont want you customers to stay away because of the stigma....uptown). companies know that it is a majority black just like everyone else so i guess i shouldnt have been shocked last saturday when i was opening mail at work. we got a disc from aol (you know...upgrade to aol 8.765431)
that was addressed to my company at their hill district address and right on the front is a sticker that says "new aol, BLACK VOICES , created with you in mind". black voices? now i have thoughtr about this for a couple of days and i'm not sure who i feel or more to the point how a black person would feel. should i be mad because of the stereotype or should i be glad that aol is catering to me. i guess that could be argued both ways (and if your pittsley five different ways) but what i want to know is what are the voices like. if aol wasnt so insidious and ruin your computer i would download this and see. is the voice james earl jones, chappelle, halle berry or even better is just some crack head loser like we have in droves around here. yo yo yo you got mail muthafucka. if i thought it was actually something like that i would download instantly. muthafucka answer yo mail. how sweet would that be.

in a follow-up to a previous post the chick in my office who was getting dates over the computer bought a new ford suv. thats not the story. her salesman, within fifteen minutes of meeting her, is going over his sex life with her. hes hitting on her big time. she ends up buying the car on thursday and then on saturday the bomb drops. the headlines in the saturday pittsburgh post gazette say that the police arrested a man impersonating pittsburgh steeler quarterbacks ben roethlisberger and brian st. pierre and .....well i think you can figure out where this is going.......thats her salesman. i told her to call the paper. hell, she knows intimate details of his sex life. is she just the luckiest woman ever when it comes to meeting men. i'm glad she didnt get pulled into that but on the other hand her stories would be wonderful for my blog. by the way guys shes still available.

well kids i'm getting my rotator cuff surgically repaired tomorrow. i dont know if i will post tomorrow or saturday......but i will be back.

ok its thursaday. eat breakfast then get to work.

Fundamentalism rears its retarded head......

Pittsley
Gender: male
Industry: Student
Occupation: Divinities
Location: Southgate : Michigan : United States
About Me
Bookworm Fundamentalist, Reformed Baptist, Revised Dispensationalist, and Good Music Advocate
Interests
Jesus Christ
exegesis
Dispensationalism
Reformed theology
presuppositional apologetics
Missions
Favorite Movies
Lord of the Rings
Star Wars
Favorite Music
Bach
Enya
Choir of New College Oxford
Dvorak
The Chieftains
John Williams
George Winston
Favorite Books
Biblia Hebraica Stuttgartensia
United Bible Society Greek New Testament (4th edition)
New International Version
The Pleasures of God
The Greatness of the Kingdom
Faithful Witness: The Life and Mission of William Carey


yesterday i posted my thoughts regarding the vatican condemning the harry potter bookss. my new friend pittsley , whos profile you see here, commented on my thoughts. i guess hes having a hard time wrapping his head around how i decide for myself what is fact and what is fiction. apparently the concept of having no proof making something fiction just doesnt fly. pittsley, let me explain once more. fiction, to me, is when you make up a story without any facts to back it. if i made up a story about a clown who flew to the moon...it would be fiction. i cant prove that it didnt happen BUT i made the story up in my head. this is exactly like j.k. rowlings did with harry potter or dan brown did with the davinci codes or in a more real sense what the catholic church did at the council of nicosea (forgive me if i did not spell that right) where the church decided what went into the bible and what did not. no, pittsley , i cannot prove that god does not exist nor do i wan to. you might be suprised to find that i actually believe in god. i think about god all the time actually. what i dont believe in is organized religion. now i understand that you are a student and you occupation is divinities so i'll let your long winded, pointless comments go and blame it on the fact that you might have learned a whole new set of words at school this year and need to try them out. unlike you i'm more to the point. all i need to do is look at your profile interests and favorite books and i know exactly where you argument will go. so i hope i explained MY thoughts on facts and fiction. i used small words and wrote slowly with the hope that you would get it. remember pittsley this is MY blog and MY beliefs. good luck with the fundamentalism. remember you cant have religious fundamentalism without fun and mental.

p.s. pittsley , please go get laid this summer. your backed up dude. even if you need to pay it would be worth it for you

hump day again .........i guess ranting like this kind of makes me a fundamentalist too..........doesnt it?

Pope nazi speaks up.......

pope nazi (or pope benedict to the faithful) spouted off this week regarding harry potter. apparently harry potter books corrupt the young. he believes the harry potter books subtly seduce young readers and "distort christianity in the soul" before it can develop properly, according to comments attributed to him by a german writer. the german writer, gabriele kuby, a devout catholic (need i say more), had written a book called "harry potter-good or evil" which attacks j.k. rowling's books, published extracts from two letters sent to her by pope nazi when he was a cardinal thanking her for her critique of the books. the vatican earlier this year condemned "the davinci code" another bestseller. i think the vatican needs to understand the difference between fiction and non-fiction. let me now explain it to the very religious........if you make up a story its called fiction. stories in this category would include "the davinci code" or the harry potter series and in the truest sense the bible. just to show how out of touch the vatican is the sixth harry potter book set a new record for sales over the last weekend selling 250k books an hour on the average. the record it broke was from the fifth harry potter book. maybe this shows that there is hope for the world by not paying attention to religious kooks. lets be honest , pope nazi, learned all about book burning in the hitler youth in his younger days. so hears a letter to the vatican.....


dear vatican,
please leave everyone alone and stay out of peoples minds. old men like you have no idea whats going on in the world and not a clue regarding popular culture. please stick with what you know ie: fleecing the stupid of their cash and molesting altar boys.

your friend in christ,
shoes


someone see that that gets to pope nazi

its tuesday and i'll be golfing this afternoon. i'll think of you

This is gonna leave a mark.....

as i turned to my paper saturday morning i was greeted with this headline "tee-ball coach charged in assault". of course i just thought that this was a caoch fighting with another coach or an umpire or an enraged parent....etc. you can take your pick most times but this was even worse than that. seems in fayette county (one of the counties surrounding pittsburgh) a tee-ball coach was arraigned on felony charges that he bribed a 7 year old player to throw a baseball at a mentally disabled teammates face to keep the boy out of the game. state police said mark downs jr. , 27, of dunbar, offered his star player $25 to hit an 8 year old autistic child with a baseball because he wanted to win the game. this child was hit in the ear and when he didnt go down the kid then hit him in the groin. when the autistic child told the coach downs suggested he sit out the game. the autistic childs mother confronted the player who threw the ball and he ratted on the coach. the mother said she signed up the child for tee-ball in the hopes that it would help him overcome some of the social stigma he might face in the future. ok, so thats the story. it took me two days to get all this through my head. i can just picture the coach. he probably was some half assed failed athlete in his youth and now he lives vicariously through his children. hes going to make them major league players. this child will never have any memories of playing baseball besides these and now those will be of people trying to hurt him. and i'm sure the star player is killing animals around his house even as we speak. is this how murderers start? what wouls this guy get if they won that would make him do such a thing. did he think if his tee-ball team won that the pirates were going to be calling him up. "wow, mcclenndon is really screwing up, we better call mark downs jr. right away. i understand his tee-ball team just won today". he should never be allowed to coach/teach children in any manner regarding anything ever again. of course maybe in jail he will learn some lessons about how the weak get picked on.

its monday.......what a way to start the week

The two groups

there are two groups of people in the world. ok, that was a bold statement, let me explain. i'm now sorting everyone into two groups. those that get IT.......and the rest. people that get IT...well ...they just get IT. they dont get upsetby religious and racial stereotypes. they realize just how ridiculous those are. you can tell a funny ethnic joke to them and they will laugh, even if its about their own ethnicity. hell nobody tells better irish jokes than i do. and regarding religion well.....the ones that get it realize that organized religion is just a big joke anyway. republican? democrat? i think those that get IT arent either. if you are ruled, politcally, by common sense....you get IT. when you realize that all polticians, regardless of party, are out to screw you and make themselves richer and more powerful......you get IT. if you find all the t-shirts on www.tshirthell.com funny......you get IT. nothing is funnier than reading their newsletter with the hate mail they get which reads "i always thought your shirts were funny until you made fun of___________ (fill in the blank). my sister had that and died. i hope you go out of business". oh, so it was all fun and games while they made fun of every other thing that didnt pertain to you but now that something struck close to home..........they are BAD. those letter writes DONT get IT. so all you thin skinned , pc douche bags better get a grip. none of you get IT. most of you will never get IT. I get IT! most of the bloogers i link to....get IT. if you dont get IT you probably shouldnt be reading this now. in the words of abe simpson "i used to be with IT but then things changed and what was IT wasnt in anymore and what is now IT scares me".

its saturday ....lets get with IT.

Internet porn and my increasing perviness

ok, i look at internet porn. if god didnt want me to see it he wouldnt have made breasts so great and surely he wouldnt have made the internet (you didnt know al gore was god , did you?). as i sit here wasting my life , staring at porn something struck me as funny. i'm on a site called video post and they title all the sites with movies ie: chubby movies, hardcore, groupsex....etc. so here i am watching a video of some one-legged, teenage, asian, lesbian nuns spanking a goat and then the next site is titled "bizarre movies". what the hell could be more bizarre than what i have just seen? dont you mean more bizarre? how jaded do people in that industry get? imagine what those people consider kinky. imagine your in a bar and spy this really hot chick. you strike up a conversation. she just got done with work and wants to relax. you two decide to go back to her place where you engage in a spirited game of tonsil hockey. finally after shedding all your clothes like paris hilton at the playboy mansion she asks if you want to get kinky. you ask what she has in mind and then she says she wants to nail your left foot to the floor and cut off both your arms while fellating you. ok, to some of you that would be fun but i think thats what those people NEED to get off.

just a random thought.....go to bed

Rick santorum.........american jerkoff

seems like evertime ricky santorums name comes up its because his foot is firmly imbedded in his mouth. first this jerkoff shows up in florida for terry schaivo. well ricky was actually there for a fundraiser or some other such nonsense and realized the opportunity for a photo op. being the media whore that he is he runs right for the cameras. why isnt he in d.c. doing his job.......i guess in his defense its because the job of all politicians is to get re-elected. he also wrote a book blasting working women for not staying at home. well ricky alot of women have to work just to make ends meet. unlike all you politicians we cant vote ourselves a raise when things get a little hairy. sure some really like their jobs but i think a good majority work because they like the finer things in life like a roof over their heads, food, heat........etc.now it comes out that he wrote a column for an web site called catholics online wherein he wrote that the catholic churches pedophile scandal was centered in boston in part because of the morally permissive culture. he wrote that even though he is sickened and repulsed by the preist abuse it could creat an opoortunity to purge the american catholic seminaries of the "cultural liberalism" (ie: thoughts) that has infected them. THE CHURCH IS LIBERAL? since when ricky. he also wrote "when the culture is sick, every element in it becomes affected. while it is no excuse for this scandal, it is no suprise that boston, a seat of academic, political and cultural liberalism in america, lies at the center of the storm". so because the people there just dont roll over and believe everything the church says they are at fault for the pedophiles. actually had the people just rolled over for the church none of this would have come out. i guess ricky doesnt blame the bishop that knew what was going on but just hid a pedophile and moved him around, effectively giving him a whole new group of victims every couple of years. as i recall there are other cities where the church took a beating and might have to file for backruptcy. the church isnt liberal by any means. for christs sake they just voted in a 200 year old hardliner as pope. i agree with ricky that its a good time to purge......america of religious fundamentalism. the divisivness of religions is pulling this country apart and putting us behind the rest of the world. churches dont need your money......quit giving them cash and they will all dry up and blow away.

thursday is here and i didnt get enough sleep........coffee here i come

Unimportant stuff.........

it has ben said that in the absense of important things people will apply importance to things randomly. nature abhors a vacuum. now when i put the topblogs rating on my blog i knew this would happen sooner or later. THE RANKING WARS. fighting over whos number one and how they got there. the top four blogs are fighting....blog to blog. funny that they are all blogs run by men. i got onto the site from a blog run by a woman. she had a link, i checked it out, thought it was funny and put it on mine. i purposely did not put this link near the top of my blog (you actually have to hunt for it) so if you vote for me fine if not ...well thats fine too. who cares if your number one. it wont get me more money, it wont make my life better but apparently in the bizarro blog world this has been given importance by these guys. i guess over the net you cant just whip our cocks out and see whos is longest (i'd lose) so they will do this instead. they have taken to putting the link at the very top of their sites, asking all visitors to vote for them and accusing the others of stuffing the proverbial ballot box. is it any wonder that the world is always at war somewhere. men just have to argue about something. oh well, thats just my rant. i told you in the title it was just unimportant stuff and i'm bored right now.

its hump day......anyone care to hump

The hotter it gets the crazier people get

willie nelson is going to put out a reggae cd. now willie nelson is an aquired taste at best as is reggae. put them both together and i think it might sound something like someone beating a baby with a banjo while playing the bagpipes. what can willie possibly be thinking. are his hardnosed country fans really going to buy this cd? isnt he a little old to try and be a crossover star? i guess the irs really pounded him moneywise when he didnt pay his taxes. i really want to meet the record label exec who greenlighted this impending train wreck. dont be looking for this at the grammys anytime soon.

along the same line ringo is mad at sir paul for not having him drum at live 8. hey ringo, he and john dragged you into history in the 60's. how about you try to do something on your own now. ringo is, at best, an average drummer. a wind up monkey toy could have played drums just as well on any beatles album. hell, ringo played as if he was a wind up monkey drummer toy. hell, ringo LOOKS like a wind up monkey drummer toy. ringo, just be glad you were along for that ride all those years ago. you were the ugliest beatle, with the worst voice and the least amount of talent and you still got katherine bach in her prime. now shut up ringo.

god is back at it. in his "redemption and damnation tour 2005" of the red states he showed up this time in east chicago , indiana. seems city officials there had to turn off a street light in the name of public safety. seems this light drew over 250 people to see a shadow that some say resembles the image of jesus christ (or at least the image the catholic church wants you to think christ looked like). thats the best part of it. the image we all think of when we think of christ probably doesnt resemble him at all. i really wonder how many fair skinned white men with long flowing hair were running around the mid east at that time. the one thing i realize in his 2005 tour is that god really has a bad pr department. he would get much larger crowds with just a little advance press.

and finally, in a survey done by aol and salary.com american workers admit to wasting over 2 hours a day at work. personal internet use is the biggest culprit in this. let me assure you (though i'm sure you already know this) that i am well above average. most of my blog posts are done while i sit at work. i can post, get free coffee...etc. i wonder if i can work a raise out of this. it makes you proud to be an american.

its tuesday and a work day....start wasting time everyone

Random thoughts....

this last week really kicked my ass. with all the things i did with my family i never got enough sleep. this week doesnt look to be shaping up any better. i need some days off just to recuperate from the weekend. the problemn is the weather has been too nice. that should change this week as the hurricanes finally make it to the ohio valley and ruin golf for a couple of days.
as i was sitting around having lottery fantasies (which i regularly do) i came to the conclusion that the people i really hate are the one s that win the lottery and then say they will continue to work. continue to work? what is wrong with these people? i wouldnt work again (at least until the money ran out). i wouldnt give two weeks notice. would they give two weeks notice to me? hell no. they didnt give two weeks notice to the guy who had this job before me. i really like when a group wins because in all that joy i know there is some poor bastard who didnt get in because he knew they would never win. you just know that guy is going home to hang himself in his basement. see there is humor in every situation.
this weekend we all went to the big butler county fair. let me just say that i'm a city boy. i like the sound of a sirren once in a while. it really lets you know your alive. it is at the fair, walking through the animal exhibits, that i realize that living on a farm is a filthy , smelly existence. those pigs smelled like.....well......pigs. holy christ, the stench coming off them was worse than a fat chick chasing down bon jovi for an autograph on a hot day. they just lay in there own filth, crapping on each other....etc. they make your ass licking dog seem sanitary. i'm glad there are farms and farmers but i'll just stay in the city...thank you.
at the top of the ironic category is this story. tom rogers, 87, creator of charlie the tuna drowned while swimming alone in his pool in north carolina. charlie the tuna was always being turned down by starkist. i hope he and charlie are together now. sorry tom, only the best swimmers make it to the pool ladder. please dont tell me that i will burn in hell for that joke....you know your all going to use it. at least the ones who are old enough to remember charlie the tuna will.

well kids enjoy your monday. the weekend will be here before you know it

How well are things really going in iraq

lets all try to seperate what your being told from whats really happening in iraq.

U.S. commander says enemy in Baghdad blunted
By Rowan ScarboroughTHE WASHINGTON TIMESJuly 9, 2005
The top U.S. commander in Baghdad said yesterday that a two-month counterinsurgency sweep has "mostly eliminated" the enemy's ability to "conduct sustained high-intensity operations" around the Iraqi capital.

thats right, straight frfom the washington post into our brains. they couldnt print it if it wasnt true....right? this man is the top u.s. commander. and then just like that..........

Jul 10, 7:55 AM (ET)By FRANK GRIFFITHS
BAGHDAD, Iraq (AP) - Suicide bombings struck Iraq on Sunday, killing at least 23 and wounding dozens more in three attacks on an army recruiting center, a police convoy and civilians, authorities said.
The attacks pushed the death count to over 1,500 people killed from violence since April 28, when Prime Minister Ibrahim al-Jaafari announced his Shiite- and Kurd-dominated government in a country under attack from an insurgency led by Iraq's Sunni Arab minority.
In the deadliest blast Sunday, a man strapped with explosives blew himself up at a west Baghdad airfield now used as a military recruiting center, police said. Early casualty reports varied, with a hospital official saying at least 16 died while a Defense Ministry employee reported up to 25 killed

well did we really put a dent in their abilities to operate business as usual or is the ap writing fake stories. just one day after our top general speaks they just keep going and operating around baghdad. the general should stay quiet. this is like daring them to do stuff.....and they will. they have no problem blowing up their own people so why would they have any problem blowing up our brave but underequpped soldiers. i know that i get painted with an unpatriotic brush for these posts but i read others that print the administrations views as if they are gospel. i just want people to think for themselves. i also find that alot of those posts are from people too old to be drafted or without children. remember that what shocked us in london just days ago the iraqi people put up with on a daily basis.

just some stuff for you to think about while you ride around on sunday

Online dating....why this might not be such a good idea

i work with a woman who is really trying to make this whole online dating thing work for her. so far it hasnt. now i understand that you may have to kiss a multitude of toads before finding your prince but as toads go shes having a rough time. i did tell her that i found her story to be blogworthy and she just laughed and said go ahead. first she puts a real picture of herself on this site but most of these guys dont. let me go through some of the guys.
1. spider man. they meet at a coffee shop where he sits with his legs spread as wide as he can. she says she felt like he was trying to pull her in. like he had some kind of groin tractor beam. needless to say he didnt get a second chance.
2. pauly wallnuts. this guy has a picture of himself on the site from the seventies. in person he has more hair coming out of his nose than most have on their heads. she said he looked exactly like pauly walnuts from the sopranos but seeing that i dont have hbo i'll take her word for it.
3. denture man. he has a number of pictures on his site....some from the seventies and some new. he describes himself as a cross between omar shariff and john stossel. this actually describes everyone i've ever seen on al-jaziera tv. i'm pretty sure this guy cant fly in the u.s. without a complete strip search. hes well educated and well spoken but he makes some fatal mistakes. he gets close too fast trying to hold hands or put his arm around her too early in the game. he also has dentures. as she says its something she cannot overcome....it ages him. i guess the lingering scent of old spice and dentu-cream was too much for her though he got a second date.
4. the miner. this is the newest one. he's 6' 5". well read and , survey says, A COAL MINER. i just laughed and laughed. the jury is still out on this guy.
she has confided in me asking where have all the good men gone. well i'm married so shes out of luck here but keep dating......at least your getting some free meals. and guys, this is the time to learn about women. oh i know, you guys know everything about women. BALLS. you know nothing. if you are going to online date then there needs to be some rules like dont bring a rose or roses on the first date......its creepy. dont try to hold hands or put your arm around her immediately....thats creepy too. some of these guys just give you the impression that they have kept a momento of all their past girlfriends.........their heads and that they usually dont get dates without duct tape and chloroform. they like their women like they like their coffee....ground up and in the freezer.

btw, this broad is hot so anyone wanting to meet her can leave their e-mail in the comments and i'll pass them along.

alright kids, its saturday. dont spend it inside. go out and knock the stink off of yourselves

Kooks, kooks and more kooks

i was recently turned on to a web site by a friend and i think its wonderful. its www.godsaidmansaid.com. i really like to keep my eyes on the religious kooks the most. i find them to be the scariest group by far. christians and yet so close to the taliban that its unbelievable. make no mistake....if our government was run by christians the way ....say......iran is we would have daily book burnings and stonings and.....well.......you get the idea. this site is good because it points out things so clearly. i dont get these archaeologists and all there research. why waste their time when all they have to do is read the bible. it tells you plainly that the world is only 6000 years old and that noahs ark was real. t-rex bones? gods little trick? no, noah had one on the ark. cmon, use your heads....its all there in black and white and if you cant trust the bible (a book that has been altered by the catholic church) who can you trust. another really bizarre site is www.godhatesfags.com. these nuts make the people at the other sites look normal. i really think its up to all of us to keep an eye on the nutjobs running around trying to force their beliefs upon all of us.

i'm very glad that shasta groene was found alive but really what kind of life will this little girl ever have. she has probably seen this animal, joseph edward duncan III, kill her mother, the mothers boyfriend and her brothers. she was constantly molested by this animal. to say this little girl will be carrying some baggage around with her forever would be a gross understatement. so young and yet her whole life is ruined. they are trying to get him to tell them where the body of the one brother is but he wont cooperate. give him to me for ten minutes and he will talk. if hooking this animals balls up to a car battery will loosen his tongue then all i can say is that red is positive, make sure you get them on correctly. do we even need a trial for this sick bastard. some lawyer will argue that his mommy didnt give him enough attention or some such nonsense but he needs to be eliminated.

for those of you who dont live in pennsylvania (and believe me your the lucky ones) we have a little something we like to call state stores and beer distributors. see the state controls liquor sales in the state. these stores are not privately owned. if you want a case of beer you have to go to a beer distributor. until this year you couldnt buy liquor on sundays and now you can only get it in certain test stores. you cannot get a case of beer on sundays at all. this dates back to when you had blue laws and god would get mad if you went shopping on sundays. this state is still run by the elderly. thats right, the same people who cant work the vcr or the remote dictate to the rest of us. maybe this is starting to change. the state legislator passed a bill to allow beer to be sold by the case on sundays and our governor is supposed to sign it. i hope this leads to beer in the grocery stores. now if only the elderly would pass away and we could get gambling run through quickly. no wonder young people are leaving this state in droves.

well its friday. the weather is supposed to be great here this weekend. i hope its good where you are too.

My my my my vasectomy (sung to the tune of my sharona)

well the time has come to get snipped. for the betterment of the planet and the collective gene pool i'm getting fixed. so now i must go through the humiliation of this procedure. yesterday i went to the doctor for my consultation. CONSULTATION! i dont need that. i'm 44 with a ten week old. i dont need a consultation......i need fixed. for christs sake even my wife agrees but you must put up with that. he wants to make sure everything is in working order. isnt a ten week old like a signed affidavit from god concerning that? apparently not. after explaining everything to me i have to take my shorts off and get up on the table. hes pulling my junk and yanking on my testicles like michael jackson during a sleepover at the neverland ranch when i just completely lose it. i start laughing like a retard at the zoo. to the point where the doctor stops and asks me whats so funny. how do you explain the funnyness of that. sorry it just struck me as funny. he then start talking about the procedure. "i'll make a small incision here and here".....thats when i stopped him. i had to explain that ,just like my wife , when hes talking about my genitalia the word small should never be used in any manner. words like huge and gigantic are acceptable...but never the word small. we both got a laugh and then he checked my prostate. for you ladies this entails me leaning over the table while he jams his hand up my ass. he pounded my prostate like the bouncer at a turkish bath before announcingh that everything is just dandy and that i can get dressed. i did ask him during that check if he was supposed to have both hands on my shoulders....but he didnt laugh at all. yeah. is it any wonder i drink. i dont know why i like telling my embarrassing stories to you people but i do hope you get a laugh.....i did.

ok now, get out of here. go play in the sprinkler

The prom story......for rachael

the year was 1979. supertramp was the big ALBUM and i was just cruising out the rest of my senior years in high school. i wasnt seeing anyone at the time which was just fine with me. see proms, basketball games....etc were just bullshit as far as i was concerned. in my school there were over five thousand students in four grades. the beautiful people ruled the school and i wasnt one of them. i had only five classes my senior yearwhich was wonderful and had this same hot chick in three of the classes which was both good and bad (you'll understand the bad later). well she and i struck up a friendship which was odd because she ran with the beautiful people and i was from the wrong side of the tracks. she had a boyfriend but he had gone away to college and hadnt called her all school year. she was bummed out about this so being the gentleman i am (and wanting into her pants in a very bad way) i asked her to the prom.........and she said yes. my buddies all knew i was in over my head but that didnt stop me. i went out and rented a tux. it was the seventies and disco was still big so of course the tux was powder blue with a a ruffled shirt and lapels that were about a foot wide. shut up....the blue matched her dress. so leading up to the prom we went on a couple of dates i had dinner at her house with her parents...etc. her father..or stepfather in this case was a career military man and as i ate dinner with them for the first time asked me if was considering the military after school. now i had hair that went half way down my back and a full beard and mustache so i didnt fit the military mold and i told him no. he and i struck up a friendship because i was the first guy she brought home who answered honestly. he and i talked that night over some beers while he cleaned his many handguns. he and i would occasionally go out and shoot his guns at the rifle range. this young lady was the first sexually agressive woman i had ever met. her mom had her on birth control pills since eighth grade, other guys had actually slept over, she had no curfew. as i look back it was pretty lax parenting but at the time they couldnt be cooler. one month before the prom the old boyfriend shows up from college and spends the weekend at her house and on monday she tells me that shes going to the prom with him. i wasnt pissed off about not going to the prom but i was pissed off about losing the money on the tux deposit and the tickets and generally being made to look like a jackass. oh well , nothing my burgeoning alcoholism couldnt erase from my memory. the downside is sitting in threee of my five classes with her every day. then, two weeks before the prom, she asks me one day if we can talk privately. seemd mr college decided that college girls might be more fun than her and called to say he was backing out on her AND would i care to still go to the prom with her. now i didnt have alot but i had my pride and i still had two tickets so i said yes. i confirmed that the dress was still the same color, set up a time to pick her up (pictures you know) and went about my daily routine with no intention of ever showing up on prom night. when prom night rolled around i was sitting in the woods drinking iron city beer and imagining how pisseed this young lady must be. of course a dozen beers will stop all that thought and they did their jobs that night.......and for the whole weekend. on the bus to school monday i explained to my buddy joe that this might turn ugly and i may have to dodge things or actually run for my life. oh it turned ugly. as i entered the school the phrase " YOU MOTHERFUCKER" echoed off of the walls. hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. i dodged her for a short while but as you may remember she was in three of my five classes. to say they were uncomfortable would be a gross misunderstatement. her and her girlfriends sat in those rooms and stared at me everyday for three weeks but in the end guys and more than a few girls (and two teachers) congratulated me for standing up and maybe teaching her a lesson. i did get a call from her stepfather.......asking me to go shooting with him. i went and we had a good time. i did explain to him what had happened and he laughed and shook my hand. he was glad his spoiled little stepdaughter got what was coming to her. needless to say she wasnt so happy to see me at her door for the date with her father.

well, there you have it. one in a series of horrible high school stories. i hope you all get a laugh from it

hump day everyone......so get humpin

Holidays wear my tired ass out

so the fourth has come and gone and i'm tired as hell. we left the house at 7:30 am and got home (three parties later) at 10:30 pm. i really didnt want to go to the last party but we went and stayed for their gala fireworks display. now this isnt my favorite couple to go visit. first the husband has a raging alcoholism problem and because hes bigger than god nobody says a word. now i dont mind a little alcoholism (hell i might have a touch myself) but whenever these people go away all he does is sit and drink. go to the carribean....find a bar. hell i dont need to go away to get loaded. as a matter of fact i can get loaded near home a lot cheaper. i also dont fit in well with the crowd which consists of gearheads and construction hacks who think that sarcasm is just another word in the dictionary. my humor is lost on that crowd. the wife is one of those controlling enablers who wants to get pregnant and cant (largely due to his drunken sperm i'm guessing) but has no problem telling you how to raise you children because.......you guessed it.......she took a parenting class in high school. look that was twenty years ago so why dont you mind your own business. it never ceases to amaze me how people without children are so quick with those great child rearing tips. please keep the tips to yourself folks....seeing your childless i'm not sure you know how to screw much less raise children. as we were leaving the last party the hostess said i looked tired. i explained that we had been on the run all day to which she announces " well i know what you mean. so have i". ok they put out a big spread and open their house to a large number of people every fourth but i'd like to see her do what my wife and i do. i think my wife and i could put on a party every weekend but i'm not sure she could go fifteen hours with three children (one of which is a newborn). on the upside the weather was great all weekend so you couldnt ask for much more.

well everyone its a short work week so dont waste it

Fourth of july, families and well.........

i love the fourth of july holiday. it allows me some extra time off from my boring, mundane , unfullfilling job. it allows me to pursue my alcoholism while my wife drives. on the other hand it also allows you the opportunity to listen to the same tired bitching over and over. oh well, you really dont get to pick your family now do you? now saturday i got to sit around with my in-laws while they bad mouth each other behind each others back. this may sound horrible to some but to the rest of us with average families this is just typical party fair. luckily enough i've been able to steer clear of the fighting. this might be due to the fact that when it comes to civilized conversation i shoot the wounded. i hold nothing back and as i explore my alcoholism i hold back even less. the worst part of all of this is that i've heard the stories a million times before and yet they are told as if its breaking news. sunday was different. we went to see my brother who lives about thirty miles from me. this is the brother who i fought with like ali-frazier growing up (me being frazier which means once in a while i got in a lucky punch but almost always just ended up getting my ass beat). we've gone closer over the years. some would say its because of similar expirences but actually its because hes the funniest son of a bitch i know. he could tell you jokes for an hour, none of which you had ever heard before, all of which would leave you bent over catching your breath trying to write them down so your lame ass could tell them the next work day. we all went fishing (which i havent done in twenty years) and the cooked out. a truly wonderful day that leaves me wishing he lived closer. now the fourth will be spent with the same in-laws from saturday. i will hear the same stories about each one (not , of course, while they are in the room) and i'll drink heavily to get through. my wife's cousin is a wonderful person who will start cooking at four in the morning and cook a buffet breakfast for a couple of hundred people then its the parade and then on to swimming and dinner. i must say though that when it comes to my in-laws its nice being the 800 pound gorilla that nobody screws with for fear of feeling my drunken verbal wrath. children be damned but if i have to drop an f or c-bomb on you to win the argument....well alls fair in war. so everyone enjoy your fourth. drink well....DONT DRIVE. be glad your where you are and its not with me.


sorry about no posts this week. it was a busy week and i really just didnt have the time. regular posts will be back

The supreme court screwed us........

as i think about the supreme court ruling this week i cant help but think how the bill of rights has been trampled these last six years. i really dont want to come across as totally on the left because i'm sure the democrats have been sticking it up my ass and snapping it off but it just seems lately our rights have been taking it on the chin alot more often. this ruling on eminent domain is truly unbelievable. if your fight for a bearable life can be fought and lost in your backyard then what has this country gone wrong. i understand what they are saying when they defend this decision but the reality is that people with wealth and political clout will be able to land grab unlike anything we have seen the west was young. see you have your house and maybe it was passed down through your family and you've lived there all your life. been a good person...paid your taxes BUT the government where you lives decides that your property can pay more taxes if say.....a hotel were there.......then they can grab it. robin hood in reverse. take from the poor and give to the rich. the problem i run into is that as i talk to people about this they arent bothered because " it wont happen to me" or the ever popular " they can have my house". well lets look at both those statements.
1. it wont happen to me! i work in a very depressed part of pittsburgh (lets be honest this whole city is depressed) and one of my co-workers said they should do that to every house around here. ok thats fine but what if someone with more money than you decides they want your house because once they clean out all these old homes your area will look depressed and then they come after your property.which leads us to our next issue......
2. they can have my house! sure they can but there is no guarantee that they will give you what its worth. and maybe your old house was paid off....now you'll have a mortgage because what they give you in a "depressed" area wont buy a home anywhere else.
starting to see the problem kids? this goes hand in hand with the patriot act , the war on drugs...etc. everything that erodes your rights just a little more. the bill of rights has stood for a couple of centuries now and we should leave it alone. those farmers really were much smarter than we give them credit for. no one wants to talk about these things until it affects them. the old i dont care about censorship , let the fcc go takes on a whole new meaning when your house id being taken. why should someone stand with you oer this injustice if you wont stand with them over theirs. if we dont all stand together soon there will be the super rich and the rest of us and it wont be far from china.

i hate to make you think on a saturday but............

Karl Rove ......spinmaster

sorry i didnt post yesterday........did you miss me?

karl rove is at it again. figuring that enough time has gone by since 9-11 he insinuated that the democrats (or liberals as karl likes to say) did not get behind the president. well...i remember. it was actually one of the only times in the last twenty years that democrats and republicans were on tv together. that terrible incident actually unified our country. well i guess its time for karl and the republican spin machine to polarize the nation a little more. cmon karl, you can do better. you hardly pandered to the religious right at all with this statement. i cant believe people listen to anything that comes out of that mans mouth. its time for this country to get together and start thinking. common sense needs to rule....not religious fear. the democrats and the republicans are all becoming jokes.

hey, after a brief hiatus god is back on tour. in miramar florida (another red state) jeff berman was getting ready to throw away a broken chip clip but lo and behold he spied an image of jesus in the broken clip. berman said hes not sure of what hes going to do with the broken chip clip but that an online auction will be considered.
along the same vein jeffrey rigo from pittsburgh pa (its so nice to see a hometown boy do well) sold a water stained piece of plaster from his bathroom wall to goldenpalace.com for $1999.00. it is said to hold the image of jesus which jeff noticed as he got out of the shower prompting him to cut out the piece of plaster and put it up for sale on ebay. now i must tell you do to my complete inability to hit the toilet with any regularity i had a good stain going behind my toilet. when i went to look at it a face was stareing back at me. god? jesus? actually it looks more like erik estrada. i wonder what that will get me on ebay?

and finally , as japan is catching some hell regarding its whaling a fast food chain there has rolled out its newest thing.....THE WHALEBURGER. the chain ,lucky pierrot, is serving a burgeer with minke whale meat and lettuce topped with mayo for 380 yen or $3.50 american. well as long as it doesnt have tuna i'm cool with that. its about time for an earthquake to wipe them off the map.

happy friday everyone....hope your weekend goes well

Hows your credit

lately people have been stealing credit card info like bush stealing an election. i guess its time to realize that these hackers, when given enough time, can get into anywhere. its time we all realize that your personal info is never really secure. this new age bank robbery takes no balls really. you dont have to have a gun or cunning or watch a place closely...all you have to do is sit in the privacy of your home and press some keys. i was on a site yesterday in the chat room and one guy was accused of calling another member at home. crank calling if you will. within minutes all this guys personal data was posted in the chat room. not just name and address but ss number, wife's and childrens names, wifes work phone number....etc. someone did a poor check and posted the next door neighbors number and the pissed off party passed it off as collateral damage. i wonder if he would still feel this way if that neighbor was standing there punching him in the face for posting his home address and phone number. the facelessness of the internet gives courage to alot of stupid, mean, cowardly people.

katie couric interviewed the runaway bride last night. all it did was make people realize just how insane this chick is. first off should you see the whites around someones eyes all the time? this chick always looks suprised. she said she was going to kill herself but reconsidered. dont do anything special on account of me. how about the boyfriend. he just sits there while she talks. hes just as crazy as she is. i dont know if i could sit there while she talks about how she fucked me over and made me look like a national fool. her pussy must be made of gold with a velvet lining. there is nothing wrong with that couple that two bullets wouldnt fix.

i never thought that they would find that 11 year old that was lost in nevada. anymore when i hear of a child missing i just assume its going to turn out poorly. then i find out a kid went missing there a year ago and was never found. i just assumed there is some maniac killing kids there. i cant imagine the pain and then the relief his parents must have felt. his parents said he had a poor sense of direction.....no shit...really? who'd have guessed? the kid saw people on horseback searching for him but was too afraid to come out of the brush. it was really a miracle that this kid was found. finally one of these stories with a happy ending.

middel of the week folks. we are on the downhill side now

And now its the first day of summer

you might recall the name cory williamson from a previous post here. he was the young man who molested two young girls last year BUT what really pushed him over the top was that he was caught screwing the neighbors dog. well it seems the charges have been upgraded due to the fact that the dog died. his bond hearing is next week and the neighbors are hoping his bond will be revoked. bill johnson , a neighbor of cory's, said that " as a community we shouldnt have to watch our kids every second they are playing. we want him out of the neighborhood". well bill heres some facts. first off i hope there was this same level of outrage when he molested the two girls. secondly , he will be protected by the law when he comes back. you cant chase him out. there has got to be a way for neighborhoods to protect themselves from these predators. i dont really care where they go live just go somewhere else. by the way cant we just hook this kid up to the lethal injection right now.

marcus wesson , the psycho who lead a large incestuous clan in california, was convicted of murdering nine of jis children. let me say again "NINE OF HIS CHILDREN". wesson could get the death penalty. that bears repeating also. COULD get the death penalty. what do you mean could. how many do you have to kill before we say we dont need this jackoff around anymore. the world really does have too many people and this guy wouldnt be missed. if they have a problem finding someone to pull the switch....call me. i have some free time. we need to fry this guy. its about time that we say this guy isnt worth rehabing and he needs to go.

i have also told you in a previous post about the doning street memos where our president is shown to be trying to pull the wool over our eyes regarding the war in iraq. now karl rove and the republican spin machine is trying to blow this over by saying its a forgery. this is typical of this administration. now they are running out picture of people in azerbijan (i didnt spell it right so dont bust my balls over it) with pictures of bush demonstrating against their government. mr bush , these people want freedom too....but alas they arent sitting on a shitload of oil so tough luck kids. we cant help you. i mean ...we'd like to....but.....theres no way to profit off of your country....and we already have one non profit war in afghanistan. now if you had oil we wouldnt even be having this talk....but you dont so run around with your signs but we cant help. you can only be free if you bring something to the table. why do you think we dont care about countries performing genocide and training terrorists in africa. thanks red states.

well have fun on this first day of summer. hope theres a.c. where you work

It's the last day of spring

from a geophysical point of view it seems things are starting to heat up on the west coast. seems that on sunday california had another earthquake. now granted, i dont live there and i'm not used to the earth shaking like michael jacksons hands as he drives through boys town but i think i would be looking to move east. LIKE TODAY. how many time do all your knick knacks have to fall off of your shelves before living near the pacific seem like a bad idea. not to mention sunami's. i really dont want to go to sleep at night wearing a life vest. on the other hand could california being gone be that bad for the country. vegas would be a hell of alot closer to the shore now. hollywood would be gone but what has come out of there lately thats worth anything anyway. oh well, i guess i'll just stay in pittsburgh a little while longer.

why are most little league parents a bunch of assholes. i sit through my sons games just to watch and listen to them. no offense but those games arent worth watching. baseball is a tedious sport to watch at best (unless you love the game) and when its played by 9 and 10 year olds ....well, it only gets worse. why does every parent think a call against their child is a personal affront to them. hey, your kid struck out. its not the umpire's fault. maybe the reason is he didnt swing is because hes paralyzed with fear because your screaming at him from the bleachers. believe me i've witnessed this. our coach showed up for the last two innings and almost got thrown out for arguing with the umpire. what stellar role models for the kids. as i sit 50 yards from the dugout listening to every word of a conversation between one of the coaches and his son as he berates him loudly for striking out i realize how lucky i am that my father didnt act like that and why no matter what my son does i tell him i'm proud of him.

michael jacksons lawyer said last tuesday that the pop star is going to to be more careful from now on and NOT let children into his bed anymore because "it makes him vulnerable to false charges". that quote is from an interview with the ap. his lawyer is as warped as jacko is. maybe jacko should never have let kids into bed. maybe , just maybe, if kids are in your bed the charges arent false. what grown man wants to be around kids all the time. he should be trying to get laid like a normal guy. but dont make the mistake of thinking jacko's normal. that asshole is almost white now. he says he hasnt had any surgery but he doesnt look anything like that kids that sang with the jackson five (hell he doesnt look anything like the guy who made off the wall). he should be in jail right now. he's a pedophile and it just shows how the judicial system has been ruined in this society.

well, i've bitched enough......now its your turn

Can we finally stop talking about terry schiavo

ok the autopsy is over...plant her and lets move on. proving once again how the religious right is almost always wrong the autopsy of terry schiavo proved that she was beyond treatment. though i did find starving her to death to be barbaric i find what the religious right did to be worse. after being told how horrible we all are and how we are all going to burn in hell i wonder now if we will get an apology. senators frist and santorum made a big deal about all this nows the time for them to eat some crow. they wont though. see the very religious never admit their mistakes...only your mistakes. thats why the running of this country should be left to common sense and not to religious fundamentalists. oh how wonderful the world would be without any religion to seperate us.

a suspended florida state university quarterback was was doused with pepper spray and taken to the hospital for laying in the stret with only shorts on and identifying himself as god. i take offense to that. i think god would have started all four years at fsu and wouldnt have to compete in the fall against two redshirt freshmen. apparently when pepper sprayed he gave up his real name pretty quick (again not a godly thing to do). its going to be a tough year at fsu when you suspend god.....its going to make the pregame prayer interesting.

kid rock is being sued by a disc jockey. for what you ask? maybe the shitty tunes have hurt the dj's ears? no. seems kid rock punched this guy in the face at a strip club. he broke this dj's glasses because he thought his friend had been dissed. whats the tally for this.....
cover charge at strip club..................$20
round of watered down drinks..........$60
saving your friends injured pride......$575,000
yeah kids thats what the suit is asking for......more than half a million. on monday kid plaeded no contest on charges of criminal assault and was given a suspended sentence and ordered to complete eight hours of anger management class and pay for the dj's glasses. i dont want to get too technical with you but you can buy a shitload of glasses with half a mill. maybe he can make up the cash by networking during class with russell crowe.

just some light shit to end your week. enjoy the weekend kids

Bush and his buddy's war

it seems that the democrats are trying to get bush to announce a date for pulling our troops out of iraq. some republicans are jumping ship and joining them. i'd like to think that this is being done for the betterment of the country.... but its not. the democrats are doing it because they have to be opposed to anything republican and the republicans are jumping ship because bush's numbers scare them. the opinion polls are rating bush as low or lower as he has ever been. i guess with over 1700 soldiers dead and the downing street memo...etc americans are starting to pull their heads out of their asses and seeing this war for what it is. we shouldnt have been there in the first place and the only way our soldiers are coming home is when bush's oil buddies tell him they can. bush says that by giving a date we help the insurgents...well....the insurgents seem to be doing ok right now. bush seems to be a great recruiting tool for them. i'm sure our soldiers will come home as soon as the bush family and friends are done raping that country for every penny it has.

in another all-american story about a truly all-american company sams club (a division of wal-mart) in st. petersburg, florida fired an employee named molly beavers (insert joke here) because she didnt smile enough. molly did push food samples and collect grocery carts for what i am sure is a great salary and benefits so i can see why they want her smiling (i mean, with a job like that who wouldnt smile). the rub here is that molly face was partially paralyzed from surgery related to her condition as a achondroplastic dwarf. now i'm all for hiring dwarfs, they make every job more fun, but you think someone would have noticed this problem of hers. maybe they couldnt see her over the carts she was pushing. she wants an apology and compensation for back wages and i hope she gets them. any time you can put it to sam walton and family its a good thing.

oprah winfrey , in a baffling display of her thought process, has claimed to be of zulu ancestry. she did this while speaking to a group in south africa. somehow i get the feeling that if oprah were speaking in dublin she'd be irish. i've seen pictures of those zulu's and she didnt get that coveted thin dna. she looks like she ate a group of zulu's. they would have hunted her down and if lucky enough to kill her had a huge celebration in the village (they would eat for years). oprah sure knows how to play to the crowd. that is one kooky broad.

ok kids have fun, hope your thursday is a good one