Wednesday, August 31, 2005

The wind cries katrina............

i knew this hurricane would be bad but did anyone really think it was going to be this bad? i didnt. the pictures of the devastation are truly unbelievable. unless your a cold cold person your heart has to go out to those people. i find that every situation has te ability to teach you something. if i am ever anywhere that a hurricane might hit and they say one is coming....i'm gettin out. no need to act brave and tough it out. drowning in an attic is not my idea of fun...ever. second, why cant we shoot looters? what a group of parasites. i can only hope that those people are found due the video of them stealing and are ultimately prosecuted or just let the cops shoot them. i dont have a problem with that. third , dont build a city underwater. new orleans is below sea level. when mother nature wants to fuck you she will. actually when all is said and done its a miracle this hadnt happened to new orleans way before this. fourth, dont blame anyone. its not the fault of the national guard that you arent rescued. they had said for days to evacuate but no, you toughed it out. its not anyones fault but your own that you had to sit on your roof for hours. i'm sorry there is no food but , you know, a devasting flood of biblical proportions will do that. heres so observations. why didnt they just grab all the yellow school buses in the area and bus those people the hell out of new orleans before katrina hit instead of housing everyone at the superdome. i saw ahead of time how bad an idea the superdome was and now the people are going to have to be rescued from the evacuation center. and lastly, why is everyone putting the blame on lesbians? how did they fail? what did the dikes do to these people......oh sorry......wrong dikes......my bad. i hope everyone will donate what they can to help these poor people out. they've lost everything and i would be suprised if new orleans will be up and kickin within a year and not just new orleans but the whole coast. its wiped out. i said last week to thank god your not living there....and its true.

ok, thats enough. go about your wednesday

Tuesday, August 30, 2005

Hurray for the boston judge.......

judge paul lewis of boston is fed up. hes tired of seeing young kids in his court room...kids involved in shootings, kids involved in killings, kids involved in rapes at gunpoint. so when a 12 year old boy came into his court charged with possesion of a firearm, he had had enough. he set the kids bail at 250k. thats 50 times higher than the prosecution was asking. judge lewis said he was simply trying to protect the public. the kid fired the gun at an intersection and the cops saw him running away. he came back later with the gun in a bandanna with one round fired and one still in the gun. no one was hit....this time. barbara kaban of the childrens law center of massachusetts and mariann samaha the boys lawyer dont like it and plan an appeal. samaha said "i was really suprised by it. this is a 12 year old boy, this is a child. we need to remember that". as i have said before let this kid out but make him live next door to samaha. let this kid play with his lawyers kids. you think she might change her thoughts a little then? if his parents would be keeping an eye on him this might not have happened in the first place.

just a thought to get you going on tuesday.

Monday, August 29, 2005

The comedy hierarchy.........

i have been thinking about the comedy hierarchy. how do you rank funny things. so many things make me laugh (mostly related to our government) that this has taken awhile....so here goes........
1. midgets
2. anyone with tourettes
3. dubya
4. the retarded
5. monkeys
first midgets are always funny. i think every show should be required to have a midget on it. what show wouldnt be enhanced with a midget? shit i might even watch 60 minutes if they had a midget. next would be people with tourettes. dont believe me? go to tourettesguy.com (i think thats the site). any disease that makes your blurt our racial slurs and swear words is great. you could put on a half hour reality show with tourettes people and i couldnt turn it off. third is our president. anyone who doesnt think we evolved from apes hasnt watched one of his press conferences. frankly this whole administration is a big joke....on us. fourth is the retarded. i know, i'll catch some shit for this but thats another reality show i couldnt stop watching (i guess the surreal life is close). fifth are monkeys. these little comedians of the jungle. always funny. dress them up and let them ride bikes...whatever. imagine a show that would combine these 5 elements and you have fox's next big hit. now some would argue that that there isnt much difference between numbers 3,4 and 5 and you may be right but it would still be great. feel free to add some that i missed.

its monday, arent you glad to be back at work? at least you dont live in new orleans.

Friday, August 26, 2005

Pat robertson, american idiot.............

well you knew it was going to happen. pat robertson has apologized for his remarks about assassinating the president of venezuela, hugo chavez. heres what robertson said on monday
"you know, i dont know about this doctrine of assassination, but if he thinkswe're trying to assassinate him, i think that we really ought to go ahead and do it. its a whole lot cheaper than starting a war, and i dont think the oil shipments will stop. we have the ability to take him out, and i think the time has come that we exercise that ability. we dont need another $200 billion war to get rid of one, you know, strong arm dictator. its a whole lot easier to have some of the covert operatives do the job and then get it over with"
on wednesday, he initially denied having called for chavez to be killed and said the associated press had misinterpreted his remarks. " i didnt say 'assassination'. i said our special forces should take him out. take him out could be a number of things including kidnapping".
well pat i hear you and understand and i still cant understand how the ap took what you said and misinterpreted it. we all know what you meant. cmon did you mean that when you said we should 'take him out' that you meant out to dinner? shopping? cmon pat dont bullshit us. we dont all give money to your bullshit ministry. at the very least your apology says that you called for his kidnapping. like thats a good thing. would he be happy if we took someone in his family 'out'. i know that he is asshole buddies with dubya but how would they feel if someone else said they should 'take out' our president. there would be an uproar. this is typical of this administration in particular and religious fundamentalists in general. we can do what we want because either we are america or god is on our side. there is a very thin line between the christian broadcasting network and al jazeira.

by the way i called the 700 club prayer line yesterday. the conversation went like this....
young lady....hello prayer line
shoes...yes i've had a bad day
yl.....how can i help you
shoes...will you say a prayer for me
yl.....of course, what for
shoes...i'd like my neighbor dead
yl.....i cant do that
shoes....look pat called for the president of venezuela to be killed all i'm asking
for is a neighbor. thats got to be easier for god.
yl.....very funny sir. is there anything else
shoes...are you going to say my prayer?
dial tone......
they really dont have a sense of humor about this at all. i encourage everone to call the 700 club prayer line and ask for someone to be killed just like your favorite christian pat robertson. its 1-800-759-0700. call early and often.

enjoy your friday.......be glad you dont live in florida

Thursday, August 25, 2005

Thursdays thoughts..............

the other day i wrote that god seems to be "phoning it in" lately and someone commented that i was an idiot. its not even worth me going back to see who he/she is. das hammer devoted a whole post to me yesterday. it got me thinking. maybe these guys are mailing it in too. with so many good names to call me why use idiot or fag? thats so grade school. heres a couple i have come up with....
1.asshole, asswipe, assmunch or any variation thereof
2.cumdumpster
3.cum barge (a personal favorite)
4.douche bag (highly underrated)
5.whore master
6.fuckface
7.bitch
8.retard (an oldie but a goodie)
9.ball sack
10.cunt (guaranteed to end most arguements with women)
these are some that i have used. others were given to me by people who have called me that on many occasions. some i just stole from other people. use them as you see fit. they have served me for years and i hope they will be of some use to you. so what i'm asking for here folks is that we get creativity back into name calling. dont pick the easy name just because its the only thing your tiny brain will toss out there. dig deeper. make up new words. put two words together that have no reason to be together. call someone an asscunt today. see if we can get that word into play. as a matter of fact i'm calling upon everyone to use the word asscunt in their blog somewhere today. for some of the blogs i have seen this would be an emotional and intellectual step up (i'm looking at you hammer).

its thursday...lets kick the creativity up a notch today

Wednesday, August 24, 2005

Televangelists should shut up.........

pat robertson has reared his ugly head. i guess the other tv religious shysters were moving ahead of him. maybe donations were down. maybe hes just insane. pat is an attention whore. he needs to see his name in the press and it just wasnt happening fast enough for old pat. what did he do? did he rail against unwed mothers? homosexuals? LIBERALS? no, pat called for the assassination of venezuelan president hugo chavez. doesnt this go right against (at the very least) one of the commandments? should this be the man who wants to hold the moral compass for our country? i have made fun of religious fundamentalists on this site for some time but i hope people see the seriousness of this. hows the gop going to spin this? is this a form of terrorism? let me pose this question....if someone were to kill this man (and lets not pretend that chavez is a good guy....hes not)and then say that he got the idea from pat robertson, could pat (or the 700 club) be sued? i would love to get my hands on some of that cash. thats like being able to sue fort knox. let me pose another question.....is he speaking for christians? the 700 club? i really want to see how the 700 club addresses this. their own man calling for the assassination of another countries leader. i wonder what other religious groups will say about pat? will he be condemned? pat robertson should be put off of tv. not by the fcc or any other group but by his own people turning their backs on him. if you send another cent to the 700 club then you condone what he has done. if people quit donating they would go away. i guess the bottom line is that pat robertson has as much to with god as courtney love has to do with drug control.

just something for you to ponder on a wednesday

Tuesday, August 23, 2005

Running late today............

sorry this post is a little late today. i had my vasectomy done this morning and didnt get into work until about ten oclock. thats right you mf'ers...i had it done this morning and came to work. yeah, i'm tougher than the picture paints. to anyone whos had this done nothing will be new but if you havent had it done its too bizarre. first i had this done in the hospital...not outpatient. i had too wear one of those short nighties that has no back and then when i get into the operating room they hose me down with enough betadine solution to drown my boys. after swearing to the nurse and anethesiologist (that aint spelled right) that if i heard one of them giggle i would hunt them down and kill everyone that they loved we began. a shot of novacaine at 7:30 am will really wake you up unlike a cup of decaf ever will then the doctor yanks on my nuts like he trying to take the lugnuts off of his bmw all the while asking me if i'm ok. does anyone ever answer honestly like "hey doc your rippin my sack off". i doubt it. i did point out that he was treating my balls just like my ex wifes lawyer...only more gently. two nuts and a half hour later i was done. in the door at 6:30 am and out by 8:30 am. sure my dignity was gone but when am i ever going to see those people again. i brought a bag of peas to work in case i need to sit on something cold but actually my stomach hurts more. i think its cause he squeezed my balls so hard. let me mention that there is absolutely nothing normal about another man grabbing your junk (unless thats what your into.......and i'm not). i had to get very zen about this whole procedure. well i think i'll go thaw some peas on my balls for a while. maybe my wife will be happy because i helped to make dinner.

so, now hows your tuesday

Monday, August 22, 2005

Jesus is gettin busy.............

jesus is continuing his year long "redemption and damnation tour". hes now blessing one of the friends of our country. he showed up in a hawthorne tree in west sussex, england. see there are benefits for kissing gw's butt. the couple who are now the proud owners of this lovely tree are non practising hindu's. the couple sewdutt and vijayantimala maunick called in pastor elaine thomas who said it was a revelation from god. it makes me long for the old days when god had more flair. maybe hes just tired. long ago angels in fiery carts would announce him and then he would appear in the clouds. what ever happened to a good flaming bush. it worked for him once very well. when i see what gods doing now it looks like hes just phoning it in. look for a part of this tree coming to an ebay near you.

england seems to be a theme here today. sister mary michael from lincoln in eastern england is upset. they are filming the movie the davinci code at a cathedral near her. shes staging a 12 hour prayer vigil in protest. the vatican dislikes this book so much it refers to it as literary and artistic parasitism. they have not turned away the donation for using the cathedral though (reported at 100,000 pounds). well i guess the only people who can just make up a religious story are from the vatican. the bible is only a book that the vatican put together. they decided whats in it so that things that didnt push their agenda forward were not included. this was done in the fourth century and hasnt changed since but more to the point if the vatican says that this book isnt true then why keep making a stink. are your followers too stupid to understand fact from fiction? you lend credence to the book with every comment. it sounds like the book might be hitting a little too close to home. when this movie comes out just dont see it. have a passion of the christ film festival at the vatican instead.

courtney love tearfully admitted that she has used drug in violation of her probation. NO SHIT. one only had to see the pam anderson roast to know that. she was ordered into a 28 day drug treatment program by a judge. the judge ordered her back to court on sept 16th for for sentencing on the probation violations. she is on probation for three seperate cases. her daughter should ask the judge to keep her away for the school year. that way her mom cant show up and shame her. remember this was the woman who fronted the band HOLE. shes a hole alright. i still say kurt wasnt killed he committed suicide when he realized who he had married.

Friday, August 19, 2005

Funny funny people surround us.........

a decorated marine in texas (home of our president no less) was enrolling in college. of course he wants to better himself.....dont we all. it seems though that his money wont go as far as it once did. see he lost his residents status because he was out of the state for a couple of years. it didnt matter to those college geniuses that the reason he waas away was that he was serving a couple of tours in iraq. he didnt want to be away but our country requested that he go and he, not wanting to spend years in jail, went to serve his country. well, the country is serving him now. unfortunately the country is serving him up a big steaming helping of bullshit. thanks for serving your country young man now get the hell out of here until the next big scam of a war comes along. these men deserve better.

lachania govan called her cable company to complain about the service. they bounced her around for a good while even going so far as to put her on with a spanish operator....even though she doesnt speak spanish. she made her point finally.....and an enemy. her next bill came addressed to bitch dog. comcast did fire the two people they found did it.

in another case peoples energy customer jeffrey barnes started getting letters addressed to jeffrey scrotum bag barnes. this has happened since march. the company has since sent an apologetic letter but scrotum bag has contacted a lawyer to see if there is any cash in this for him.

is there anything more ridiculous than the israelis and palestinians fighting over some scrub desert in the mid east. thats what the gaza strip is scrub desert. you can call it what you want but that doesnt change what it is. you can dress up and put lipstick on a pig but that doesnt make the pig anna nichole.............ok thats a bad analogy but you understand what i'm getting at. both side say god gave it to them. john stewart said that it seems like god regifted. if god gave you that land you would think he was mad at you. i cant understand why people fight over religion. ok the jews killed christ but that was like 2000 years ago. i'm over it and i'm a mean vindictive bastard. they should get over it too. those two groups are like two bad children that need a spanking.

ok fridays hear.......let the party begin

Thursday, August 18, 2005

Pope nazi speaks up and other things..........

pope benedict (who will be refered to as pope nazi for the remainder of this post) on monday encouraged the display of crucifixes in public buildings. i used to get mad when people made such a stink about religious things in public buildings but now i'm all for that shit being pulled down. keep religion in your church where it belongs. you can spew that crap there to your followers. the pope told european officials that the removal of religious symbols dear to a society can lead to instability and and even conflict in europes multiethnic societies. well who decides which religious symbols to display. do we line the walls with stuff from every religion? would the pope be happy if the religious symbols were from the muslim faith? hindu? where does this end? keep your religion out of my head and i will promise to keep my brain out of your church.

the church is hit with another sex scandal but i dont think the church is that upset with the publicity this time. monsignor eugene clark publicly railed against our " sexually saturated society". seems the monsignor was having an affair with his secretary. he hired laura defilippo straight out of high school and presided over her wedding to her husband philip, who is currently filing for divorce. the husband had an investigator follow the duo to a hamptons motel where they arrived together and checked out hours later. he became leary of them when his wife kept staying late at the rectory and turned down a family vacation to disneyworld. its understandable considering the monsignor took her on trips to lisbon and carribean island of st barts. this monsignor had a home on long island and was taking these great vacations. where was he getting his money? fleecing the flock no doubt. i actually think the catholic church is thrilled that he was poking a woman and not a young boy. i dont think they care if this gets out or not. the two are videotaped going into the motel with shoulder bags and coming out hours late with different clothes on. how do you sell that in court. this case should get good. well at least the flock will be thrilled to see where their collection plate money is going.

is it ok for your teenage son to be poking his teacher? is it better if shes hot? yes? no comment? how about your daughter? in new port richey at river ridge high school alexis zambrano 36 was a teaching intern. she was accused of lewd and lascivious behavior with a 15 year old FEMALE student. she is accused of kissing and engaging in sexual activity with this girl. her lawyer has worked out an agreement so that she will get two years of house arrest followed by three years of probation. is this fair. the other teachers who slept with males got jail time. maybe her sentence should be that she has to lick stamps for two years. that will wear her tounge out.

enjoy thursday everyone.

Wednesday, August 17, 2005

What some people will do............

in pasco county (i have no idea where this is) two neighbors are having a fight. seems 73 year old carol hastrich is fighting with derick cooper. seems hastich and other neighbors have complained for years about the waste on coopers property. the code enforcement officers showed up last week and cited him for some violations like illegal dumping on his property, for general storage violations , for running a commercial business on residential property and singage that was too large. the sign was spray painted on the side of his house facing the hastrich residence and it said "die you miserable bitch". hastrich is dying of cancer. wow , icant understand the neighbors not liking this guy. what a gentleman. if that was your house how could you ever go home. so now all of you can quit complaining about your neighbors.

this happened in england but its still worth talking about because it makes a point. two teachers have been suspended because they had a threesome with a 16 year old student. police are understood not to have pressed charges because the teenager did not complain of any crime. NO SHIT. what 16 year old guy would ever complain about that. he got laid and you just know they bought him something to eat afterwards. lucky little bastard. if i was his father i'd be bragging about him like he just hit the homerun that won the game. things have really changed since i was in school. i cant think of two teachers in my high school that i'd have wanted to have a threesome with and god knows they werent offering.

madonna makes the news again. she fell off her horse while riding. i say the horse tossed her pompous, fake accent using ass off. its was said in the comments that she should have taken brittneys 32k and instead of giving it to the kabbalah center should have got some riding lessons.

its wednesday kids.......can this week be going any slower

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

The stars are out tonight..............

madonna has convinced brittney spears to give $32k to a kabbalah center for children so that her unborn child will be accepted into the faith. the funny part of this is that britt thinks madonna is a great role model and doesnt question anything she asks of her. lets put this into perspective. your friend asks you to donate $32k to your church so that your kid will be accepted........what do you do? follow his/her advice? tell them to pound off? beat the livin bejesus out of them? britt ought to be hanging onto her money. her career is really over and she is going to be a single mom soon (as soon as kev takes off again). good luck to your child britt...it really has no chance of growing up normal.

kelsey grammer speaks to the dead including a 2000 year old ghost named alex who teaches him about good and evil. i think kelsey has finally gone off the deep end. he says hes been talking to many entities lately, some that hes known in the past. in kelsey's defense his father was murdered by a gunman when he was 13, his sister was robbed , raped and stabbed when he was 18 and his two half brothers wer eaten by sharks when he was 23. where the fuck did he grow up. his whole family is killed in bizarre ways, i mean, who ever gets eaten by sharks and he had TWO half brothers that were eaten. i now understand why he had the drinking and drug problems . well at least when he robbed the cradle he got a hot wife.

jessica lynch, the soldier who was rescued from an iraqi hospital, has now come forward and said she was used by the pentagon to show everything was going fine with the war. well i guess jessica got everything she needs, a tv movie about her life, free college education and a book deal. i dont agree with the war but shes a rat. if you want to be credible then you should have said this BEFORE you got all the free stuff not after everything has run its course. maybe she just cant stand the thought of being out of the headlines, fame is an evil mistress. but to show that there really is karma in the universe jessica lives in west virginia.

in a follow up to a story from yesterday.....golden palace got the jesus pierogi for $1775.

enjoy your tuesday everyone.

Monday, August 15, 2005

Jesus is back and he brought friends.......

jesus has continied his "damnation tour of the red states" by showing up in a perogi in point place , michigan. donna lee, the proud owner of this polish pastry, said she was just flipping some over when she noticed the face of jesus. so what do you do when you have the face of the savior on a pastry? do you eat it? set up a shrine? no. you put it on ebay. when i had read this the auction had reached $1050. does anyone see that jesus is becoming just like ufo's. he only shows up to retarded hicks in these little towns. i am actually more concerned for the idiots who would shell out cash for these pieces of shit.

the u.s. postal service created a stamp earlier this year with a picture of president bush to honor his acheivements while in office. however, it was found that the stamp was not sticking to envelopes. a commission to determine the reason for the defect was formed. after thorough testing the commission published the following findings.
1. the stamp was found to be in working order
2. there was nothing wrong with the adhesive
3. people were just spitting on the wrong side

along that same line, while our president is taking a FIVE week vacation gas prices in my area went up over twenty cents last week alone. if he wont answer questions for the mothers of the soldiers that have died then maybe he can answer these. why does the price of gas go up immediately as soon as they announce that the price of a barrel went up but never goes down when the price of a barrel drops? when does he think that these rising prices will affect the economy? how much money is he and his family making off of the price gouging by the oil companies? will we ever be able to recover , as a country , from the damage that was done by this administration? will the democrats actually be any different? pick any of these and try to see if your head doesnt explode.

enjoy your monday, this may be a long week

Friday, August 12, 2005

Troubles on my blog...........

as anyone who has been on this site in the last two days knows i have been bothered by an asshole named da bona. this ass embodies everything you hate about FUNdaMENTALists. they want to spout whatever they want at you but dont like what you have to say back. i really dislike bullies but because he doesnt have the balls to deal with me he has gone after people i link to. if you happened to get a message that seemed from me that stated "i still think your a religious cunt" you have my apologies. i didnt send it...da bona did but you shouldnt be pulled into my arguement. he doesnt see any difference between me and people i link to. typical of bullies that just go after everyone. sorry about the inconvenience. and remember it could always be worse....you could be da bona.

Things that make a friday special......

its a rare two post friday

it starts with bruce taylor and it starts in oklahoma. maria and carlos isordia are a nice married couple, minding their own business, living their lives in peace. one night maria notices that some of her bras and panties are missing. the next night more were missing. five nights this went on before she told her husband. carlos (who must have watched alot of cartoons as a child) set up a trap for the suspected panty raider using only a coffee cup, string and a bra (couldnt he have just dropped an anvil on his head). well the trap worked and bruce was caught. he must of resisted because carlos gave him a good old fashoined beat down with a leg from a babies crib. bruce was arresated and is facing jail time. when police searched his residence they found 55 pounds of underwear. enjoy prison bruce....you'll make a fine bitch for someone.

courtney love has crawled back out of the sewer and into our lives once more. seems the judge who paroled her wants to see her again (hence the name court-ney). one of the parameters of her parole was that she had to remain sober. lets see...she passed out last month at a function, she looked entirely wasted at the pam anderson roast....etc. yeah, she violated parole now what are you going to do about it. i think her daughter turned her in. theres a kid begging to be put in a foster home. anythings better than having mom go to one more parent/teacher night.

on a more sobering note ap is reporting that the national guard and reserve suffered more combat deaths in the first ten days of august (32) than in any full month of the entire war. think about that......in 10 days this has happened. this isnt just a bad stretch military deaths have been rising since the beginning of the year. now i know that i will get painted with an unpatriotic brush but i'm just repoting the news (if i blasted hillary clinton those same people would link to this post and refer to me as a good american). this is after bush said "mission accomplished". after cheney and rumsfeld have said things are going just fine. after our military leaders tell us that cracking down on insurgents LAST MONTH would slow down their activities. can anyone blame americans for being upset. we have had so much smoke blown up our asses that we just want honest answers. i support the mother that is camped outside bush's home. i hope she gets through to him. on wednesday the pentagon announced that as of july 31st recruiting for the national guard is down 23%, the army reserves are down 20% and the marine reserves are right at their goal. is it any wonder in this day of information that young men and women who can think dont want to risk their lives in a war that cannot be won, lead by men who never expirenced war except from behind a desk with equipment that is faulty. i see a draft coming. thank god my son is registered as a jb4 (he'll be the fourth person into iraq after jenna bush).

its friday. lets just make it through and then party

Thursday, August 11, 2005

So, how bad is your marriage..........

Q: why do divorces cost so much
A: because they are worth it

ok not all marriages are horrible but for some people they are unbearable. take teddy claire akin (why do all redneck losers have three names), 28, of ocala florida. seems teddy was just fed up with marriage...he'd had enough. now teddy probably wasnt wealthy and being a frugal chap decided that there must be another way. teddy, being an over the road truck driver had alot of time to think about this and on one long trip the light in his tiny little brain came on. teddy got home and explained to his wife that he had killed a hitchhiker on this trip. teddy told his wife that he had picked up a hitchhiker who wanted a ride to tampa. after arguing over how far akin would drive him akin hit the hitchhiker in the neck, causing him to gasp and make a gurgling sound. akin said he dumped the body in a forest near a gun range and kept the mans wallet, which contained the license of one denis legrande allen of utah. how terrible for all the parties involved......not really. you see, teddy was making it all up in the hopes that his wife would just leave him and not turn him in. teddy was arrested on tuesday and charged with making a false report and petty theft. denis legrande allen is alive and well.

ok , so what have we learned here.
1. dont make up a story of murder to get out of your marriage. its only going to you arrested and made a fool of in the national press.
2. just pay for the divorce. i know it costs money but you made this pact with the devil in the first place.
3. didnt o.j. or robert blake teach you anything.

get on with your thursday and be glad your not teddy

Wednesday, August 10, 2005

Of cartoons, videos and bad luck........

in san francisco the planned parenthood chapter has a cartoon that shows a pro-choice superhero killing abstinence supporters and abortion clinic protesters. now some of you (who have a sense of humor similar to mine) might find this funny or at the very worst not very well thought out but this just isnt right. any of you who have read this blog before can guess that i am extremely pro choice but these folks stepped over the line. there would be people all up in arms over this if it were the othter way around....a pro-abortion superhero killing pro-choice people. some psycho is going to see that and say to himself "i can be a superhero. i'll just kill some protesters".the planned parenthood people have just got to use their heads. sometimes you just have to take the high road. that being said, i'd love to see the cartoon. it sounds funny.

a south korean man died after playing video games for around 50 hours straight. well no shit. frankly after that he should have asked people to kill him. this guy had quit his job so that he could spend more time playing games. this guy really didnt need to be in the gene pool anyways. this goes back to my theory of how to control the mid east. our soldiers should just pack up and leave iraq, apologizing all the way and as a gift to say we are sorry we should leave them coca cola, twinkies, playboxes and computers. in one generation their kids would be just as fat and lazy as ours. you think a young iraqi boy would blow himself up instead of sitting around watching internet porn. "blow myself up. let me get back to you right after this movie of two chicks doing a goat".

speaking of bad luck christopher reeve's widow dana has been diagnosed with lung cancer. LUNG CANCER! hasnt this chick been through enough. holy shit. is this the unluckiest family ever. i wish her well, this chick has been through enough.

it wednesday...blah blah blah blah blah. have a good one

Tuesday, August 09, 2005

Peta stands for what again..............

"ETHICAL" DEFINED: After more than 100 dead dogs were dumped in a trash
dumpster over four weeks, police in Ahoskie, N.C., kept an eye on the
trash receptacle behind a supermarket. Sure enough, a van drove up and
officers watched the occupants throw in heavy plastic bags. They
detained the two people in the van and found 18 dead dogs in plastic
bags in the dumpster, including puppies; 13 more dead dogs were still
in the van. Police say the van is registered to the headquarters of
People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, and the two occupants,
Andrew B. Cook, 24, and Adria Joy Hinkle, 27, identified themselves as
PETA employees. An autopsy performed on one of the dogs found it was
healthy before it was killed. Police say PETA has been picking up the
animals -- alive -- from North Carolina animal shelters, promising to
find them good homes. Cook and Hinkle have been charged with 62 felony
counts of animal cruelty. In response to the arrests PETA President
Ingrid Newkirk said it's against the group's policy for employees to
dump animals in the trash, but "that for some animals in North
Carolina, there is no kinder option than euthanasia."

way to go peta. look , maybe you people should just stick to throwing blood on old jewish women wearing furs in new york city. that seems to be your forte'. did they really think nobody would notice all those dead dogs in one dumpster. if nothing at least the peta people have learned to use different dumpsters to unload the animals they have so lovingly killed. this might be the most ridiculous of all the groups running around right now. they make the scientologists look semi normal. eat what you want, wear what you want......fuck peta. i did see a t-shirt that said "i eat animals....but only the gay ones". i thought that was genius.






A US woman who ended up with three police cars outside her home claims she was teaching her dog to dial 911. Sylvia D’Antonio, 46, of Lake Parsippany, New Jersey, was charged with disorderly conduct for making three late night 911 calls. But she insists the calls were made by Slayer, her German shephard, reports the Asbury Park Press. A police dispatcher was alarmed because when the calls were picked up “the only communication was someone breathing”.

The calls were traced and three squad cars raced to D’Antonio’s home where they found there was no emergency. D’Antonio claimed she told Slayer how to dial 911 in an emergency and the dog got the number right. “She knocks it off the hook and then she steps on it,” she said.

who in their right mind is going to teach their dog to dial 911. have you ever dialed 911. those idiots ask about a thousand questions. teach your dog something useful like cleaning up his own crap in your yard, weeding or driving. give him a skill that will help him once your gone. look if your dog has to dial 911....your dead. hes going straight to the pound (where i hope the peta people dont take pity on him)he needs a skill. nice name for her dog too....slayer. that dog was probably trying to order a pizza and just misdialed.



the realization that there are some very stupid people in the world should hit you .........now. enjoy your tuesday

Monday, August 08, 2005

Rats and other items......

jose conseco is a rat. make no mistake. he went into locker rooms and then turned on the guys he shared the room with and told secrets. on the other hand we are finding that at least he's honest. someone said that they thought he was too stupid to lie for that many pages and so far its held true. jason giambi has admitted using steroids, after listening to mark mcguire speak in front od congress i dont think theres any doubt he did steroids and now with raphael palmiero getting caught...well.....baseball just didnt need that. what are we learning drom all of this.
1. the records set right now in baseball are all drug tainted. mcguire, bonds, etc...are all juicing and its skewing the baseball records.
2. dont shake your finger in front of congress....it'll come back to haunt you
3. steroids, hgh...whatever, its the heroin of baseball players. they would rather risk getting caught and ruining their names than just be average players. sorten your life, risk shaming your family...its ok, as long as i am not average.
4. palmiero was stinking it up early in the season and then started to hit all of a sudden. why? steroids. giambi was doing so bad they were going to send him down to the minors then he hit 16 homeruns in something like 78 at bats in july....how? steroids.
5. regardless of balco, steroids or hgh.......barry bonds is was, is still and always will be an ignorant prick.
should these men be allowed into the hall of fame? i dont know. thats left for smarter people than myself. i could argue that from both sides. will we ever be able to get drugs out of baseball? no! were we better off not knowing what our heroes were doing? well thats up to te individual. does the stink of this scandal infect all the players? yes.

the space shuttle landing has been pushed back another day. i'll just be glad when these people are on the ground. this just keeps getting worse and worse. this is one nasa program that should be scrapped until they get it all together. nasa is in retrograde now. they seem to be going backwards. we were able to put men on the moon and now we cant launch a rocket and bring it back home.

the legislative body of the evangelical lutheran church in america are getting together and whats the big topic. gays in the church. i still dont see what the big deal is. didnt the bible say that god created everyone in his own image? arent we supposed to do unto others and we would have done to ourselves? and the question that suprises me most.....dont churches need the cash? who has more disposable income than a gay couple. dinks. dual income...no kids. hell, i cant believe the catholics havent jumped on them for that reason alone. of corse the catholic church only wants gays if they stay in the closet....and become priests. in reality the gays are better off without organized religion.

isnt monday just a great day. have fun everyone

Friday, August 05, 2005

Next blog >>........

ever hit that button in the top right corner? sure you have. ever got a blog that was good on the first try? never. when you go looking at blogs you realize how many shitty ones there are. yesterday i hit that button for twenty minutes and didnt find one half way good blog BUT i did realize that i should get a goddamn pulitzer prize for my blog.
1. there are no good blogs coming from the far east. this includesa guam, korea , vietnam.....all of them. nothing interesting must ever happen there. same goes with spain and south america but they have a whole different problem
2. the ones that look promising are all written in gibberish. put something on your site so i can convert your gibberish to english (gods language).
3. dont take the next blog button off of your site. that is so annoying. how can i get off of your shity site if there is no next blog key.
4. dont have a site that requires that i be running active x. it stops my computer.
5. dont put a button on your site that asks people to vote for you on some half asses ratings site. its just embarrassing for you. no one gives a shit if your number 1 or number 300. mike this one really addresses you.
6. whats up with all your ads. is there one more advertisment you can fit on your sidebar. is there anything you wont advertise.

our president is starting a 5 week vacation. yeah, you read it right A 5 WEEK VACATION. since hes been in office (roughly 4 1/2 years) hes taken 320 vacation days. thats almost one quarter of his time in office. his 5 week vacation is the longest that any president has ever taken. i guess he deserves it and its not like things are going on right now. i mean with a war going bad and over 20 marines killed this week, oil prices going out of control whats he need to be hanging around the white house for. you dont hear the right wing talking about that now do you.

friday, enjoy your day.....and you night even more

Thursday, August 04, 2005

Oil and republicans shouldnt mix......

congress just passed an energy bill. what does this energy bill do? is it intended to push companies to find alternative energy sources, is it intended to help with the rising price of oil, will it help to explain what our energy policy is in conjunction with our mid-east policy..........survey says..........none of the above. what it does is give the oil companies 500 million for drilling in the gulf of mexico AND 2.7 BILLION in tax breaks. let me repeat that....2.7 BILLION IN TAX BREAKS FOR THE OIL COMPANIES. that might lead you to believe that the oil companies have fallen on hard times even though a company like, well i hate to name names but lets just say it rhymes with exxon, made 7.6 BILLION IN PURE PROFIT LAST QUARTER. by last quarter i mean a three month period. well i guess you cant expect much more than that when the first family is beholden to the oil companies and besides that money really isnt needed for anything like actually properly armoring vehicles for our soldiers or creating meaningful jobs in this country. funny how the republicans paint everyone who doesnt agree with this war as unpatriotic but wont properly protect our fighting men and women while giving billions to oil companies. also isnt it peculiar that democrats are called "tax and spend" when the republicans spend just as much but then cut taxes. now i know the average stupid american loves the tax breaks but can you spell deficit. at least we had a budget surplus when the democrats were in office. any bsic business course flunky can understand that if you spend more and cut your income (taxes) your company wont be in business long.

heres some interesting stats, as of the end of july 2005, technorati was tracking 14.2 million weblogs and over 1.3 billion links. this is just about double the number they were tracking only 5 months ago. the blogosphere is doubling about every 5 months. a new blog is created about every second, there are over 80 thousand created daily. about 55% of all blogs are active, and that has remained a consistent statistic for at least a year. about 13% of all blogs are updated at least weekly. i hope mine stands out for all of you.

well it thursday.....hope your day goes well

Wednesday, August 03, 2005

Tie a yellow ribbon............

ok, so i'm driving home yesterday (actually paying attention this time) and i notice everyone has a ribbon magnet on their car. some more than one. some WAY more than one. for awhile everyone was running around with the yellow ones (i think thats lance armstrongs group) and thats when i quit paying attention to them. now there are pink (breast cancer) black and gold (steelers) red and black (firemen)etc......where does this end. one car yesterday had seven. thats right....SEVEN. ok people you can stop putting those on the car. as a matter of fact you can start taking some of them off your car. i did see one on the internet that said "i support whatevers trendy". thats the one for me. oh, and the same goes for the wrist bands. those are becoming ridiculous too, though if you match the colors to the ribbons on your car then that might be ok.
so maybe this is an indictment of those ribbons but maybe its an indictment of my driving. what have i been looking at for these last months on the drive home. i think i will look tonight and try to figure that out. maybe this is all bullshit but just maybe you should be glad you arent driving the same roads as me.

its hump day....get humpin

Tuesday, August 02, 2005

Are the saudis really our friends.....

king fahd died the other day. i know, you really dont give a crap but hear me out. this king and his country have been held up to the american people as our only true friends in the mid east. i guess i dont see that. these people really dont like us at all. most of the 9-11 cowards were from saudi arabia. a couple from the bombings in london were saudis. this king fahd might have been our friend but his country isnt. dont get big heads because they let us set up bases there for the gulf war remember hussein was going to run right through them next. we saved their necks. his half brother became king now and is supposed to be a reformer is 81 years old but is expected to get opposition from others in his family who are hard line muslims. remember this is still a country where you can be stoned or beheaded. sure they have all that oil money but its like the beverly hillbillies. all they are is a rich third world country. so lets just say for the sake of peace that they are our friends BUT dont turn your back on them.

when did it become ok to ask for donations on your blog. more and more i see blogs with a small spot on the sidebar asking for some cash. please i beg all of you....dont give in to this cyber panhandling. thats all it is. if your walking down the street and you stop because some guy is playing his sax really shitty....well...its panhandling. sure hes not just begging , hes playing an instrument, same goes for blogs. why would you pay someone just to read their retarded thoughts. hell, you can read my retarded thoughts for free. you didnt earn my money with the ten minutes of thought you put into your blog. if you really feel you should be gatting some money then start a pay site. that will seperate your true friends from the others.

just my thoughts....now get on with your tuesday

Monday, August 01, 2005

Monday, what a horrible way to start a week.......

looks like senate majority leader bill frist has jumped ship from the presidents plans. good for him, though, i still dont trust him. our president who either doesnt have the backbone to stand up to the religious right or is so stupid he believes the religious right (either thing is unacceptable) doesnt want stem cell research. i'm sure his mind cant comprehend the concept of it but bill frist is now for it. republicans are blasting him from all sides so i hope he stands his ground. they say he wants to run for president in "08". i dont understand how going against his party will help him but i'm glad he did it. i'm glad that he chose common sense over religious fairy tales. could this be showing that bushs numbers arent strong enough to carry another republican to the white house. lets be honest , he wouldnt be there in the first place if he didnt steal an election in 2000. i'm hopeful that we will get a man in the white house that wont cave in to the religious right everytime they start to cry. dont be suprised if he isnt running , during the primaries against another bush. isnt it a shame in this country that the best we have is the boys from that overly inbred family.....THE BUSH'S.

football season is back and the first thing that pisses me off is holdouts. hey, that contract was fine when you signed it. honor your contract. you signed your name , isnt your name worth something. apparently not. grow up players. honor your obligations. if you dont like how things are done then do something about it the right way. i actually blame the agents for all of this. most agents are lawyers...i think that says it all. how much better would the world be without lawyers. i love ya heinz ward but your doing the wrong thing.

lets just get to the weekend. dont make any sudden moves